Nothing I do or don't do is good enough for my wife . Everything is my fault money,house,love,sex, you name it I'm the looser so I have made an appointment for a marriage counsellor .im prepared for it to all be my fault but I don't think that she could take it if it turns out to be her fault .I don't want to loose her but she will never be happy with or without me ! What do I do

I think you should ask yourself if she loves YOU for YOU.

The failings in a marriage is never just one persons fault (unless that person cheats). If your marriage isn't going well I'm sure you are both partly to blame. I think seeing a counsellor is a good idea, but not if both of you are just there to fling insults and place blame. A good marriage counsellor will try and help you resolve your problems and see things from eachothers point of you, she/he will not fully place the blame on either one of you, that won't help your marriage. Go into counselling with an open mind, be honest and willing to listen to both your wife and the counsellor. I hope everything works out for you and your wife. Good luck.

She sounds clinically depressed --- AND angry.

But it may be for something you did OR perhaps... ready for this? Something her mother or father did... how is her relationship with her parents?

?

See the counselor. If you don't feel comfortable with the counselor, get another one. If she won't see a counselor with you, then she's not willing to try and work on the relationship. If she's not willing to try and work on it, ask her why. If she doesn't answer or get angry, you need to tell her that you need to be in a loving, supporting, equal relationship and if she isn't willing to be in one with you, then maybe you two aren't meant to be together and need to go your separate ways.

If you love her, fight for her. But only for as long as she's willing to fight for you.

A counselor is a good idea, and telling her to shut the hell up can't hurt. You sound as if you swallow her crap all the time, and never stand up for yourself. Sorry, correct me if I'm wrong.

I agree see the counselor and let the counselor decide who has the communication issue, she may talk too much and you may not talk enough... either way the scales are lopsided... The mediator would be the first step to save this marriage...