I am a 51 year old woman.

I have had anorexia in cycles for years. Yes, I was treated for anorexia extensively back in 1999-2000.

The doctor I used had to retire, so I no longer have him to help me.

Anyway, I thought I was recovered, & I had gained to a very healthy weight, actually chunky!

For some reason I have relapsed eversince July, 2007.

But, my mind keeps trying to tell me that I don't have this eating disorder? I have even tried to research the internet & find people who are normal & healthy & say they live normally on only 800 calories a day. Of course, I continue to run into sites that say eating such a low amount of cals could be life threatening. And, that scares me.

But, is there a possible way a person really could be normal eating about 500-800 calories a day?

Could I actually be healthy enough with such a low calorie count?

I honestly do try daily to eat at least 800 cal. but I never can get quite that many calories in me.

I already have several medical problems that have disabled me, so I would not really know if anorexia has truly set back in or if I am just having symptoms from my other medical problems?

I feel hungry, but I cannot make myself eat. I do drink a slim fast every single morning! I try to eat 1/2 a peanut butter sandwich late afternoon. I also drink plenty of fluids - iced tea.

All I am wondering is - aren't there actually people who live on a very small amount of food & they live long, happy, & healthy lives?

Or, is my mind just lying to me again? This is so confusing! My husband, grown daughters, & 16 year old son stay so worried, & they beg me to eat assuming I am anorexic again. I cannot find a doctor or anyone in my area here in Georgia who can help me?

I don't want to die or have more medical probs than I already do. I just prefer being thin. Can't someone just live on an 800 calorie a day diet?

Thank you! Any advice or insight would be appreciated!!

I think it is good you realise this problem is slipping back and understand you are putting your health at risk!

Consuming under 1000 calories is not healthy, the average daily intake is 2000!

Did you see a counsellor while you also visited your doctor?

I am sorry you are not able to see your previous doctor. I urge you not to give up looking for one you feel you can talk to!

If at all possible I think it would be good if you can confide in someone and tell them you need help as are struggling on your own!

I hope this helps, even if it is just a little!

Moomin, Yes, it helps even a little!

I appreciate you even taking time to read & reply.

I suppose, logically, 800 cal or less a day is not OK.

It is a confusing illness to deal with. I was given 6 months to live before, & I sure don't wan to go back & waste more of my life.

I guess what seems normal to me may not actually be normal?

If anyone else has similar circumstances, info, or advice - I am open & willing to listen. I have 2 grandbaby girls & my 16 year old to live for! I also take care of my elderly parents as much as possible. (My husband does most of it) The ironic thing is my parents want me to stay thin & they are fat phobic. I knew when I was healthy for the first time in my life until last July - they were repulsed by me even though I was not obese. (I was finally a smaller plus size though.)

Anyway, enough about me!

Thank you again.

Betsy