View Full Version : My girlfreind has a drinking habbit and I want to know what I can do
slbbatman
Jan 28, 2008, 02:27 PM
My girlfriend has a drinking problem. We are both in high school. She isn't to the point of being dependeant. And she knows it's a problem (when she wants to admit it) I just need to see if any one can help me with some advice on something I coud do to help her.
Or mabye somewhere where I could find answers. I love her too much to let her loose to this
simoneaugie
Jan 28, 2008, 03:29 PM
And a good friend you are. If your girlfriend has a problem with alcohol, chances are that it has affected you too, before the two of you got to know each other. I mean that your parents either drink, or like mine, don't drink but behave like adult children of alcoholics (ACOA). It might be a relative who drinks. It may be a first for you too.
You girlfriend is probably an alcoholic. They are born, not made. The disease is hereditary. The more she drinks, the more alcohol will get a grip on her. Ideally, she will quit now. If she does, the disease will leave her alone, physically.
Reality, you can't make her stop. You can change who you are. Learn about it. Look and listen to the people around you. Think, but do not judge. Make yourself into the best person you can be, at this moment. Love her, but let her be free to make whatever mistakes she chooses to make. Love yourself. Don't do stupid things.
Alcoholism affects at least 10% of the population. Not drinking any is the only known cure. It doesn't mean she, or anyone else is bad. Diabetes can be inherited. That doesn't make the person who has it bad or guilty.
lovelesspa
Jan 28, 2008, 06:20 PM
Sorry, I don't agree with the hereditary factor theory, my grandparents were from Ireland and drank, yet my mom and dad did not, I didn't and my kids don't, yet my ex husband had a problem with it. I believe a lot of outside factors are involved.
simoneaugie
Jan 28, 2008, 07:27 PM
You may be correct. I only know what I have been exposed to. My own alcoholism, 4 inpatient treatment centers and many AA meetings are the basis of most of my knowledge.
If your Grandparents from Ireland drank, they may have been normal people who drank. Normal people (non-alcoholics,commonly called 'normies') cannot give alcoholic genes to their children. However, alcoholism seems to follow a family around, like your relationship with your ex-husband. Your initial attraction to him does not automatically make you an alcoholic though.
The way it seems to make the most sense is, "if you have a problem with alcohol, alcohol is a problem for you." The original question posed on this thread is asked by a young man who's girlfriend is admittedly having a hard time with alcohol. I told him that his girlfriend is "probably" and alcoholic. She may not be. Some alcohol abusers are just normies who drink to escape from feelings they do not like.
I think its different with drugs. Drugs are addicting in and of themselves, some more than others. Alcohol is not physically addicting unless the person is born with the body of an alcoholic. There is a distinct difference in the way about 10% of the American and Northern Europeans process alcohol.
What is interesting is that people of Jewish descent have a rate of alcoholism of about 1%. Native Americans experience it at a rate of 80-90%. What's the difference? Alcohol has been part of Jewish culture for more than 2000 years. Native Americans have only been exposed to it for about 300 years. What happened to the Jewish people 2500+ years ago? Did they die of alcoholism the way Native Americans are dying of it today?
Alcohol kills more people in one large American city in a week than die of all other drugs combined in the entire Nation, in a year. Even if you are not biologically predisposed to have trouble with it, it touches all of our lives.