mamabutafly0807
Jan 21, 2008, 06:54 PM
I have a niece whom just wrote me an email in desperate need for help.. She just admitted to self mutilating on her thighs because the wrist is to obvious.. her email reads..
Hay titi what's up? Nun much here home bored because I have no life! Memba when you were talking to me & da gurlz that night in the room. Well... there were so many things I wanted to get off my chest a tear fell from eye but I wiped it quickly so nobody would see. I just couldn't say anything because to many people were in there. And I couldn't call you because I get my thoughts out better when I write... well I need to get something off my mind before I do something stupid that I regret! You reminded me that night that there are people who are there for me and I wish so badly I could talk to my mom but I don't want to hurt her!. Ever since we moved to Florida I'v lost myself completely! I don't know who I am anymore I hate who I am! I might look happy in my pics but there's a lot missing! The first year I was down here everything was OK but for the last three years I been so depressed and I'm not sure why. I treat my boyfriend so badly because I hate me and don't love me that I can't let him love me! He's always been there for me but that hasn't;t been enough all I'v wanted for my time here was to have a friend,a best friend! But I'm alone in school other than my boyfriend. I use to go into the bathroom in school for three years and just cry because I felt so alone. I use do that no matter where I was if I didn't feel excepted which was most of the time that I felt like that. At chruch home, school and some of the sports that I played. I hated doing that so much I just wanted somebody to notice or care and I felt no one did. Melissa knew I was sad so we agreed that we would be best friends and she is , but now she's gone. SO IM LONELY AGAIN but now instead of crying I...
Have cut myself a few times(PLEASE Don't SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE TITI) and now I have this really wired addiction to something I'm totally embarrassed of it ( I'v told absolutely no one about it and I'm scared to tell you but I will because I need help... :( help me! I have the lowest self esteem ever I feel I'm so ugly it pisses me off when people call me pretty even tony because I don't believe it! Guys never show interest in me!! literally I'm not kidding! Just a few minutes ago I was going to find a razor but I'm sick of my depression and hurt I decided to tell somebody you don't know how much it took in me to be able to tell you this. Because lately I've been doubting family too for caring about me. Sometimes I feel just as alone with them as I do with friends but partly its my fault because I pull myself away from many social situations. Like the night of the party I went to bed while everyone was up . I do that a lot! Im so lost now!! I don't know who I am anymore!!
I am desperate to help her & while I know professional help is the best thing for her right now.. I think it's a delicate situation & I want to take the proper precautions & take it one step at a time where I won't abuse her confidence in me. I think it took a lot to come to me being I live in NY & she lives in FL. I don't want to scare her away or make her feel like she trusted the wrong person.. Please help me!
Hay titi what's up? Nun much here home bored because I have no life! Memba when you were talking to me & da gurlz that night in the room. Well... there were so many things I wanted to get off my chest a tear fell from eye but I wiped it quickly so nobody would see. I just couldn't say anything because to many people were in there. And I couldn't call you because I get my thoughts out better when I write... well I need to get something off my mind before I do something stupid that I regret! You reminded me that night that there are people who are there for me and I wish so badly I could talk to my mom but I don't want to hurt her!. Ever since we moved to Florida I'v lost myself completely! I don't know who I am anymore I hate who I am! I might look happy in my pics but there's a lot missing! The first year I was down here everything was OK but for the last three years I been so depressed and I'm not sure why. I treat my boyfriend so badly because I hate me and don't love me that I can't let him love me! He's always been there for me but that hasn't;t been enough all I'v wanted for my time here was to have a friend,a best friend! But I'm alone in school other than my boyfriend. I use to go into the bathroom in school for three years and just cry because I felt so alone. I use do that no matter where I was if I didn't feel excepted which was most of the time that I felt like that. At chruch home, school and some of the sports that I played. I hated doing that so much I just wanted somebody to notice or care and I felt no one did. Melissa knew I was sad so we agreed that we would be best friends and she is , but now she's gone. SO IM LONELY AGAIN but now instead of crying I...
Have cut myself a few times(PLEASE Don't SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE TITI) and now I have this really wired addiction to something I'm totally embarrassed of it ( I'v told absolutely no one about it and I'm scared to tell you but I will because I need help... :( help me! I have the lowest self esteem ever I feel I'm so ugly it pisses me off when people call me pretty even tony because I don't believe it! Guys never show interest in me!! literally I'm not kidding! Just a few minutes ago I was going to find a razor but I'm sick of my depression and hurt I decided to tell somebody you don't know how much it took in me to be able to tell you this. Because lately I've been doubting family too for caring about me. Sometimes I feel just as alone with them as I do with friends but partly its my fault because I pull myself away from many social situations. Like the night of the party I went to bed while everyone was up . I do that a lot! Im so lost now!! I don't know who I am anymore!!
I am desperate to help her & while I know professional help is the best thing for her right now.. I think it's a delicate situation & I want to take the proper precautions & take it one step at a time where I won't abuse her confidence in me. I think it took a lot to come to me being I live in NY & she lives in FL. I don't want to scare her away or make her feel like she trusted the wrong person.. Please help me!