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I was X 122707
Jan 20, 2008, 10:19 PM
This boy and I have been dating a month. We have been talking on a serious level for like 2 months. Im very much in love with him. I make my own choices, and I told myself I was going to wait to have sex until I'm at least married, but I feel I'm ready now. I know it sounds dumb, and naïve, but when your in love you just know, right? Because I know I am in love with him. Is it too soon?? Is there a time limit before you can have sex??

ISneezeFunny
Jan 20, 2008, 10:36 PM
How old are you?

There really isn't a "right time to have sex" but many believe there's a certain age when you're mature enough to decide for yourself. Granted, some people can be 22 and they still don't have the maturity to decide...

I was X 122707
Jan 21, 2008, 10:23 AM
Im 17.

ISneezeFunny
Jan 21, 2008, 01:32 PM
Hm. Well, a lot of people may crucify me for this... but given your maturity level, 17 may be a right time for you. But in my own opinion, dating a guy for a month or two isn't enough time for you decide that... really. I say this as a hypocrite... as I try to get girls to sleep with me within a week of dating, but that's just me. If you truly feel ready, and you feel that you won't regret this decision, then go all out. Think about it first, be safe, and use protection. But if there's any doubt in your mind, then I'd think it over.

p.s. - some people on this site will tell you to wait until you're married. To each his/her own I guess.

ScottGem
Jan 21, 2008, 01:40 PM
No one of ANY age should be having sexual intercourse unless they are financially, physically and emotionally prepared to have a child. You don't appear to qualify on 2 of the 3 points.

What's too soon here is the short term of your relationship with your boyfriend. Having been together for 2-3 months is not enough time to really determine if you are going to spend the rest of your lives together.

Is he pressuring you for sex? If he is then that's all the more reason not to. My recommendation is to wait until you having been going together for at least 6 months, preferably a year. Then you can decide to be more intimate. There are ways to be intimate with your partner and to satisfy each other without resorting to sexual intercourse. As I said, that should be reserved for when you are prepared to have a child.

ScottGem
Jan 21, 2008, 05:00 PM
Teenage pregnancy is on the rise, so are STDs. Yet some people think its allright to encourage young people to have sexual intercourse when they "feel right". Teenagers have raging hormones and their judgement on when it feels right is suspect.

Such advice is dangerous and will not be allowed.

Homegirl 50
Jan 21, 2008, 05:13 PM
Teenage pregnancy is on the rise, so are STDs. Yet some people think its allright to encourage young people to have sexual intercourse when they "feel right". Teenagers have raging hormones and their judgement on when it feels right is suspect.

Such advice is dangerous and will not be allowed.
I agree with you 100%.
You two have not been dating long enough to be having sex and as Gem said hormones can make you think you feel a lot of things.
Take the time to really get to know this young man. A month is no time.

starfirefly
Jan 21, 2008, 05:19 PM
Not to mention dating someone for 1 month really isn't believeble that you are actually in love... it takes lots of time to decide you love someone... and you really don't know how much you love someone until you have lived with them...

ISneezeFunny
Jan 21, 2008, 05:31 PM
I thought I was in love with my high school girlfriend. Now that I'm almost out of college, I realize... I wasn't. It was a dysfunctional relationship where I was just dependent on her. I was NOT in love with her. Then I thought I was in love with my college girlfriend. I was again... wrong. In hindsight, I wasn't in love in any of my relationship except for my past one. But who knows, maybe in about 2 - 3 years, I'll realize that I wasn't in love either. Time will tell.

I was X 122707
Jan 22, 2008, 12:44 PM
Its not like I've known him for three months. Its been a good 6 months that we have known each other, we were origionally really good friends and somehow it turned into more.

ScottGem
Jan 22, 2008, 12:56 PM
But its still too early for it to turn into even more.

Homegirl 50
Jan 22, 2008, 02:20 PM
A month of dating someone still is not long enough.
You are now relating to each other on a different level, give it some time to develop, see where it takes you. You may find that the "couple thing" is not working or it may, but give it some time before you bring sex into the equation.

peggyhill
Jan 22, 2008, 03:02 PM
A month of dating someone still is not long enough.
You are now relating to each other on a different level, give it some time to develop, see where it takes you. You may find that the "couple thing" is not working or it may, but give it some time before you bring sex into the equation.

I think this is great advice! It is true that the friend relationship is different than the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Give this some time and see how you feel then. Personally, I think the right time to be having sex is when both of you are ready, and when both of you are able to support a child if you get pregnant.

I know it's hard to wait sometimes. But, if you don't, and then things don't work out, you might wish that you did. I think losing your virginity is a big thing and you need to take time to think and make sure that this guy is the right one.

When you do decide to have sex, make sure to visit a doctor first and get the info on pregnancy/stds, etc. Make sure you use protection too. And once you are sexually active, be sure to get those yearly pap tests and exams. It's so important for us girls to do that.