My 10 year old just started her period. What should I say to her to help her and answer her questions? She's so young... And I'm so scared!! Help!

:eek:
:confused:

Just be honest and factural. And this is not too young at all while in the US a common age is 12, some girls as young as 8 start and 10 is not uncommom any longer. And it is much better to have a talk than what happened to us last year, a neighbor girl came running over to our house, she thought she way dying ( going to bleed to death) and my wife had to have a talk with her ( not her mom or older sisters) The girl was terrified since no one respected her need to know.

Talking to Your Child About Menstruation (http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/growth/growing/talk_about_menstruation.html)

The facts about a girl's first period (http://mama.essortment.com/girlfirstperi_rwte.htm)

How to Talk to your Daughter about Menstration (Menstruation) (http://www.tarunaoils.com/articles/talk-daughter-about-menstration.asp)

As Chuck said, talk to her factually.

Now, I would like to see you take her to her pediatrician. 10 years old is borderline young for a girl. The reason is that young girls typically slow down in their growth after the period starts, thus possibly making her short as an adult among other things.

Gals who start their periods at ages 10 and younger experience what is called Precocious Puberty. This can, and in some instances, should be stopped.

But yes, while you are waiting for the doctor's appointment, talk to her naturally. Don't freak out, periods are normal and natural, you know that.

My 10 year old just started her period. What should I say to her to help her and answer her questions? She's so young.... And I'm so scared!!! Help!

:eek:
:confused:
Just tell her the facts.
If she already has her period, then you should show her how to put a pad on her underwear and how many times she should change it.
And tell her about things that she shouldn't have to worry about.
Also tell her about how many days it should come and that she should follow it so that she knows when to have a pad ready.

My 10 year old just started her period. What should I say to her to help her and answer her questions? She's so young.... And I'm so scared!!! Help!

:eek:
:confused:
You should let her know that it's NORMAL. I think at that age, well at any age, people don't usually like to be different. Let her know it's natural too and it's the first step to becoming a woman. My mother celebrated mine, she took me out and bought me a beautiful gold and diamond bracelet. If you're comfortable with it then she will be too. Good luck

Sorry to sound judgmental, but why didn't she know about this 3 or more years ago? I'm scared to ask if she even knows where babies come from.

Did you hide pads and things from her? Did you dismiss any questions she had about tampon commercials and such?

She's at an increased risk of breast, ovarian, and uterine cancer because of such early menstruation. Is she overweight?

Parents make things so much harder on themselves by keeping their children in the dark. All you have to do is tell them the proper names for the body parts when they are little. None of this crazy "pee-pee" and "wee-wee" stupidity. Then you tell them that babies grow in their mommy's UTERUS. Not tummy. Even a 2-year old can say "u-rus". Food goes in your tummy or stomach. Not babies.

And boys need to know about menstruation as much as girls do. Telling your kids about how their bodies work does not destroy their "innocence". It helps protect it. They know about the responsibilities that come with sex and the potential for contracting disease.

Has she seen a picture or diagram of her internal organs? Does she even know she has a uterus? Does she even know the names of her reproductive parts?

I apologize for sounding so cruel, but this child needs to be educated. Especially since she is going through this so young and ignorant. It saddens me to no end.

She is going to educate her child... that's why she is asking for help. If she didn't plan on educating her daughter, she wouldn't have asked for help.

Don't you think you are assuming by saying things like she is using the term pee-pee and tummy.

So this kid is 10, and you expect her mom to have talked to her 3 years ago. Ok, at the age of 7 you want her to talk about "the potential for contracting disease." To educate a 7 year old about body parts, and periods etc is fine, but I must say, at 7 years old I think it is a bit early to learn about STI's.

You write "It saddens me to no end." Come on, get real. There is many other things going on in this world that could take the place for that phrase.

She is going to educate her child... thats why she is asking for help. If she didn't plan on educating her daughter, she wouldn't have asked for help.

Don't you think you are assuming by saying things like she is using the term pee-pee and tummy.

So this kid is 10, and you expect her mom to have talked to her 3 years ago. Ok, at the age of 7 you want her to talk about "the potential for contracting disease." To educate a 7 year old about body parts, and periods etc is fine, but I must say, at 7 years old I think it is a bit early to learn about STI's.

You write "It saddens me to no end." Come on, get real. There is many other things in this world that should take the place of that phrase.


I didn't say she used those terms. I was talking about parents in general who use those terms. My post is a general commentary on the lack of education provided to children about their bodies. Then they end up going through puberty completely clueless about normal physiological functions.

And trust me, I am very real. Do you know how many 12-year-olds are blowing their boyfriends and how many 15-year-olds are HIV-positive? Oh, they're "virgins" all right because they were told to "not have sex". They don't consider taking it in the butt as "sex".

This poor mom is scared to death about talking to her child. There is absolutely no reason
For this.

And Jesus H Christ, how in world did you read that I wrote that you talk about STIs with a 7-year-old? Menstruation, yes. I stated that very clearly.

You don't have one talk with your kids and blast them with every bit of information at one time. Many 7-year-olds wouldn't even have the comprehension required to distinguish between a bacteria and a virus, much less all the different STIs that can be contracted from sex.

Kids have questions, and too often parents dismiss them, and kids remain in the dark. If a kid asks something, then chances are she's ready to learn about it. It may be the abbreviated version, dumbed down to the level of that child's comprehension, but still, education trumps ignorance any day of the week.

"And Jesus H Christ, how in world did you read that I wrote that you talk about STIs with a 7-year-old?"

Right here:


They know about the responsibilities that come with sex and the potential for contracting disease.

By "They know... the potentential for contracting disease." By contracting disease I'm sure you mean STI's if I'm not mistaken. You clearly stated that she should have talked to her daughter 3 years ago, which would have made her 7.

"And Jesus H Christ, how in world did you read that I wrote that you talk about STIs with a 7-year-old?"

Right here:



By "They know... the potentential for contracting disease." By contracting disease I'm sure you mean STI's if I'm not mistaken.

I spelled "potential" correctly. And there's nothing in there about talking to a seven-year-old. Age seven is in sentence #1. If you notice, I also mentioned talking about something else to a 2-year-old. Were you also to draw the conclusion that I recommend discussing syphillis with a toddler?


I stated my horror at the child not knowing about menstruation 3 years prior in sentence one. I continued my post with other issues, and any conclusions you drew, well, I'm not so sure where you came up with your issues. If you have a problem with what I posted, say so. Otherwise, leave me the hell alone.

"And Jesus H Christ, how in world did you read that I wrote that you talk about STIs with a 7-year-old?"

Right here:



By "They know... the potentential for contracting disease." By contracting disease I'm sure you mean STI's if I'm not mistaken. You clearly stated that she should have talked to her daughter 3 years ago, which would have made her 7.


About MENSTRUATION.

...the responsibilities that come with sex and the potential for contracting disease.


Gee, looks like your talking about sex and STI's to me! Maybe you should just be more specific, because when I see the word sex and contracting diseases I think sex and STI's. Not menstruation.

Gee, looks like your talking about sex and STI's to me! Maybe you should just be more specific, because when I see the word sex and contracting diseases I think sex and STI's. Not menstruation.

I AM talking about sex and STIs, but not about talking about them with a 7-year-old.

Godd*mmit, can't you read that? Do you see "seven-year-old" anywhere in that sentence? Did I write that seven-year-olds need to know about STIs?

And it's not "your". It's "you're". That little mistake right there speaks volumes to me.

I was about your daughter's age when I had my first period. My mom skipped the whole talk with me (I'm not recommending that you skip it, communication is important) and gave me a book instead and said ask her if I still had questions. The book is called The Period Book: Everything You Don't Want to Ask (But Need to Know) by karen and jennifer gravelle. If you don't know what to say or where to start you might consider checking this book out though, you guys could even read it together.

Wow, so many responses! Thanks to everyone who did not criticize me for not being all knowing! I appreciate all of your help!! I just wanted to get some extra advise on what to say to her. My daughter is a very bright girl and has absolutely no problem with growing up and asking questions along the way, and I have no problems answering anything that she would like to ask. No, my daughter is NOT overweight at all. She is actually at the appropriate weight level for her age and she is around 5 feet tall. Honestly, I feel that after reading the responses from mldubose, I feel that I was being attacked in some sense. I don't agree with talking to a child at the age of "7", especially if she isn't mature enough to understand. I have a 7 year old too. She is not mature enough for me to talk to her about her menstration. When the time is right, I will have the talk with her, but not now. She does not, however, say "pee pee or wee wee", she knows the correct words. She is not "below average" in her knowledge either. Thanks everyone! Have a great night!!

To justcurious55 - the book idea is great! It can answer things that I may not know how to answer. I am purchasing the book this week and will let you know how it works out! Thanks again!! :)

To mjl - Thank you so much for sticking up for me! It looks like I created a huge argument on this site, huh? Sorry to cause so much hysteria! You're advice is priceless to me and is helping me out a lot! Honestly, I am not as stupid as my original question seemed to make me sound. I just thought that a little extra advice would help me out. So thank you for being understanding! :)

To denosiawhiteninja - Thanks for your advise and understanding as well. :)

Did you want extra "advise" or extra advice?

If minor spelling mistakes bother you so much this site isn't for you. Get over it.

I only whip out the "grammar claws" after I've been attacked. And after this foolishness it was necessary.

Poor grammar and spelling ruin a person's credibility, especially when he or she can't tell the difference between "your" and "you're", for example. This is a common error on the internet and an excellent way to determine the intelligence of the person making the mistake because it's something a... are we ready for this one?. SEVEN YEAR OLD should know.

I'll be sure to avoid posting on this site from now on, but I'll keep reading it just to see the poorly educated "experts" giving out advice (I won't name names). It's a good thing this isn't a site about helping kids in school.

You should get this book that American Girl puts out - "The care and keeping of you". It is written for girls ages 8 and up, puts things in terms that they will understand. It covers a lot of things that we find hard to talk about, just because we don't know what level to start at.
I have had this book for a while, even though my daughter is only 7. She has looked at it and some of the pictures (especially those on menstration) freaked her out. I don't think she is quite ready for the talk yet.
Use your judgement on what your child can handle.

And by the way, with all the changes that come with getting your period - American Girl has a great series of books just for girls your daughter's age.
The one I mentioned also has a journal that she can write in. There is a feelings book and journal, etc. These are great books that put things that are some times hard to explain into terms that a child can understand.

This is for mldubose:

You obviously have major issues! If you feel that you need to be nasty to everyone that posts an honest question to this site, then you need to just quit reading these posts and unsubscribe. You have no right to treat people this way! Maybe you should take a good long look at yourself, because obviously there are major issues going on with you! Maybe the good people on this site should give YOU some advice on how to be a DECENT PERSON! Didn't your mother ever teach you that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! Maybe you should practice that and keep your nasty comments to yourself! Just because I misspelled something, doesn't mean that I am not a good person, or that I don't have an education. Just because YOU used spellcheck to verify the spelling of all of the other entries does not classify you as "All Knowing and Perfect"! Grow up and get a life!

:mad:

There is so many spelling errors on this site, even from the experts. Firefox, I think, will tell me I have something misspelled, but it doesn't offer suggestions. I'm trying better to be succinct and clear and this site is helping. Being to the point and concise is difficult.

OK... kind of a nasty response to a thoughtful question. I wouldn't expect to have to tell my 10 year old daughter about sex yet... I mean, that's young. However, my understanding is that a lot of girls are hitting puberty earlier than their mothers, so it's nothing to be concerned about first of all.

Here is my suggestion for workign with your daughter:

First, let her know that all girls go through this and it's a step toward becoming a grown woman and part of her body getting ready to have a baby if she wants to at the right time when she marries one day.

Second, let her know that it's something that a lot of people find embarrassing, including you, to talk about because years ago, people thought everything about their bodies was kind of secret and shameful. Let her know how fortunate she is to grow up at a time when people are a lot more open and mature about these things, and as a result, able to get their questions answered.

Third, tell her the practical stuff first. Kids are really concrete about things. Imagine what her worries are and solve them for her with practical solutions. Tell her how to use a tampon and a pad, explain how to shop for them. Have her doctor or nurse explain to her what is normal flow and what requires her to see the doctor.

Get her a variety of different pads and tampons and let her try them. Tehn supply her with what she likes to use. She may not like what you want her to use, and it's a stupid thing to force on her. Let her choose.

She will be embarrassed to buy them for a few years - get them for her.

Make sure she understands she can still do sports and swim and whatever else.

Don't treat her period like an illness. Let her know that it can be uncomfortable, figure out what type of discomfort or cramps or whatever she might experience and work with her doctor to come up with a plan so that it's not a free pass out of gym class and life in general. On the other hand, have some sensitivity and be caring if she has cramps, etc.

Make sure to explain to her that growing up is a process, and that while people say sometimes that this means she is now a "woman" that you feel she's still a young girl. It will be a long time before she is a woman, but just like getting taller, this is one way that she is moving in that direction. 10 is very young and she should still have a life of barbies and birthday parties.

If you do anything to mark the occasion, I would suggest you do some girl thing, one on one. Don't make it a big thing and don't tell other people - she'll be absolutey mortified. Let her have her privacy. Maybe take her for lunch and let her pick out something she wants - an outfit or a toy... what she wants, within reason.

And get her some books. Are you there God, it's me Margaret was the bible for pubescent girls when I was young, and I have a feeling it would still be a good one. Also talk to the school nurse privately and get her advise. As her for some statistics so you can tell your daughter, for example, "you know, out of every four girls at your school, 1 is going through the same changes as you, but they want to keep it private, too. You are not by far the only one, and within a year to three years, they will all go through the same thing".

Im glad to find this question, almost like I asked it myself! Same thing with my 10yr. Old. And don't give it another thought about your grammar that was not the issue your child is. Obviously someone who's mama didn't give a you know what! People like that shouldn't get under your skin. When you find a good learning tool on this issue let me know!