So basically I can't not lie. Even the most trivial stuff that can be answered honestly I lie. I have no idea why. The worst part is nowadays I can't figure out what's truth and what's lies. I mean I know if I'm telling one sometimes but this is seriously affecting mine and my girlfriends relationship. It seems like everything I tell her is a lie not because I want it to it just happens. This doesn't just happen with her it happens with a bunch of people like everyone. I feel so bad that I lie to them but I can't stop. By the time I realize it's a lie it's too late if I try to tell the truth it's so buried in lies that I won't be able to get out with out ostracizing myself to my friends, family, girlfriend, well everyone. I need help really bad someone please help please.

Well, it is probably to make you look cooler, popular or stuff like that because you are insecure about who you really are,

That is an interesting suggestion but the thing is I know and they know that it doesn't matter about who I truly am. I don't lie about who I am. I do lie about some stuff I do but it seems to be more of a game nowadays to see what I can get people to believe. I don't know. I've never really wanted to be popular so that's not a big deal for me and most of the stuff I lie about has no bearing on how cool I would be if I didn't lie

That is an interesting suggestion but the thing is i know and they know that it doesnt matter about who i truly am. i dont lie about who i am. i do lie about some stuff i do but it seems to be more of a game nowadays to see what i can get people to believe. idk. ive never really wanted to be popular so thats not a big deal for me and most of the stuff i lie about has no bearing on how cool i would be if i didnt lie

If you are saying that it seems to be more of a game nowadays, then it sounds like it is something that you could control if you really wanted to.

Do you have things in your life about which you feel very or somewhat insecure?

Well when I say it's a game I mean that a lot of times I can control it but can't I don't know how to explain I don't wish to lie but after which I want to see if people believed it but some lies I can't control but I feeling secure about my whole life I'm super dependent on my dad I'm a lazy person and I know it but yet I can't seem to change it everyone or everything good that ever happens to me ends up leaving so maybe I make up stuff in order to justify why it happened to be able to be like that's why they left because I lied or that's why this happened because I lied I don't know but sometimes I start to believe what I'm saying is true then I think about it and I can't decipher lie fro reality

What are some of the things about which you tell lies?

Anything its not even specifics ranging from trivial stuff to what can be taken as seriously

It would be helpful in helping you if you could provide at least a couple of examples. Don't really know much about you at this point. Others will probably also be along to help you.

Well the few that brought up my interest in this is I told my girlfriend that my job in which me and my friend got placed at(temporary services) they decided they only needed 1 of us and the chose my friend well today she found out that I lied and I quit the job and got furious. I also tell people I will do sumin and wind up not doing it this lie is usually because of laziness or forgetfulness but those are all I can think about right now

Coming clean about what is true, admitting that you can't seem to stop lying and that you are lazy at the moment or you just plain forgot, will not ostracize you with real friends. Telling the truth is so simple that you will look back and laugh at how you used to be. It's a clean, clear feeling when you aren't confused anymore and everything you say matches everything else.

Lying is getting you something that you want. What?

Coming clean about what is true, admitting that you can't seem to stop lying and that you are lazy at the moment or you just plain forgot, will not ostracize you with real friends. Telling the truth is so simple that you will look back and laugh at how you used to be. It's a clean, clear feeling when you aren't confused anymore and everything you say matches everything else.

Lying is getting you something that you want. What?

Are you asking of what I am trying to obtain by lying

Originally Posted by simoneaugie
Lying is getting you something that you want. What?

The above is an excellent question!

How old are you? Also, do you still live with your parents or at least one of them?

I'M 18 soon to be 19 and yes after a rather unfortunate turn of events in college I'm back living with my dad

You're not working now. Is that correct?

Whatever we are doing is giving us a reward. If there was no reward from doing it, we wouldn't do it.

Yes I'm not working yet I'm in the process of finding a job

Okay. So, are you being truthful in everything that you are posting on this thread? It's important to know that so that we can help you the best that we can. I have to ask that. You seem to be being truthful in what you are stating so far.

Yes I am I am truly being honest

As redundant as that sounds lol

Would you mind telling us what happened in college that caused you not to be there anymore? So far, you are very anonymous on this site.

Well I got lazy and stopped going to classes causing me to fail out this is probably caused by me hardly ever doing anything at all through out high school

Who paid for the college education that you have had so far?

Teachers in schools, colleges or universities not only teach us about the subjects that they teach, but hopefully teach us how to deal with life and how to deal with it ourselves so that we can be successful and productive.

We are never through learning. That is a big part of what life is about. Mom or dad aren't going to be around forever.

My father took out loans and I got a scholarship that paid a little and yea the part I feel really bad about is I know I couldve passed with all a's if I tried and went to class

Being lazy is a choice. We all make choices. It's an incredibly big part of life. You got a scholarship. That's great!

Do you want to go to college again?

Yes I plan on going back when I feel I won't be lazy and waste more money

How about getting in the motating rhythm of thoughts right now about that? My father paid for all of my college education. I deeply regret now the fact of the classes that I failed and the money that he wasted.

I graduated and went on to teach. But, I still have the regret of him spending the money for the courses that I failed or did really poorly in that could have been prevented happening, had I just tried harder.

Yea I know it sucks to have let him down like that especially when my mom refused to help or support me and I had nuttin but everyone not believing in me the whole time I so wanted to prove them wrong but I didn't not yet anyway

Everyone not believing in you the whole time? Now, we are getting somewhere with the way things have been for you. Thank you for opening up some!

You are safe in sharing your thoughts here.

What time is it where you are now?

Its 9 01 lol because that's the area code that's why I laughed

Okay. I forgot that you are in the Eastern time zone that is an hour off from where I am. I need to get to bed. Haven't been to bed all night. Have some things to do tomorrow, but at least not until the later afternoon. I am self-employed. I am going to alert at least a couple of individuals to your post, after I get up, whom I think would also be able to advise you wisely. I am sure that they will also be able to help you. For now, I'm going to sign off from here. Good night or good morning to you, whatever the case may be!

Okay. According to the map, maybe we are in the same time zone.

Sit down and write out a pro and con list of where lying has gotten you.
Write out a reality list of facts vs your lies to better help you get back to reality.

When you go to say anything to anybody bite your tongue and first think about what you want to say, what it will accomplish and even how others will take it or what they might think or say.

Realize that lying doesn't accomplish anything, it adds confusion.
Realize most often people know you are lying but don't call you on it for whatever reasons.
They see you coming and tell themselves oh there comes 'Joe' wonder what kind of story they are going to come up with now? Wonder if it is going to be another whooper! Well he is good for entertainment purposes!

Lying is often an issue of control.

Also, lying can be that a person is so sensitive that if they feel they are failing someone by the truth, they will lie so as not to disappoint the person they care about.

Lying and laziness are both choices. When you have gotten away with being lazy and lying for so long, it becomes just a way of life for you. That can be changed but only by you.

Adamabc, the fact that you have come on this site sharing this issue shows great promise for a better life for you in the future. Not being able to discern within yourself what is truth and what is a lie, says to me that it has become much of who you are. You have done it so much, one appears to you the same as the other.

Time to make some hard choices! Your future is in your hands and in your mind. It will take hard work on your part. You may suffer some consequences when you tell the truth. I would rather take a lashing than lie. A clear conscience to me is worth a lot. Taking thought for each action, thinking before you answer, and making yourself do activities and jobs, etc. will require you not taking the easy lazy way out. Apparently, what you think of yourself is important or becoming more important. This is a positive thing. By reaching out, you have made the first move toward making some positive changes that will be with you the rest of your life.

When you tell the truth now, it may conflict with things you have said in lies to that person and you will get called on some things. If you really desire to change the way you are living your live, you can just tell the person that you lied before, ask them to forgive you, tell them you are doing your best to live a straight forward life from now on and hope they will understand. If they don't, please, don't let that deter you from the changes and choices you are making.

I am so proud of you for addressing this and we are here for you to encourage you but it is up to you. You must made some difficult choices and make them every time you say anything. Apparently, you are lying at times you don't even realize it. Your future is yours to mold and make to give you joy. This will not be an easy task or journey but it will be worth everything to you. Best to you as you live daily to make improvements in your life by each choice you make.

I think everyone has summed it up and made some great suggestions so I shall not repeat them - but have you onsidered hypnotherapy? Hypnotherapy isn't just for giving up smoking, losing phobias and gaining confidence, it has many useful tools such as this and will retrain your mind using NLP and hypnotherapy to tell more of the truth... have a look and research it and see if you can get a FREE initial consultation locally to you!

Thanks you all you all have been great and have helped me more than anyone ever could I now know what I must do and I will work my hardest to do it thanks again everyone but I am also welcome to more suggestions as it can only help not hurt at this point so feel free thanks for your help and support

Do you think your girl or friends won't like you otherwise? If so, your hanging with the wrong people. People generally tell tales to make themselves look good, so maybe you should figure what your doing wrong or why your so boring you have to lie. I think you should re evaluate your life and decide you need to focus on doing things for yourself and not to impress everyone. Get a job, period, and start feeling good about what your doing- that you are getting somewhere, even if it's a slow start compared to others... your making some money right, no matter what the job is... then and take your girl out... this will impress her, not what kind of job you have, slowly work your way up, you can do it, it is a lot easier to tell the truth then remember lies!

The best way to stop lying is to start telling the truth. You can see that lies are causing problems in you life with your girlfriend and it is obviously affecting you personally so just start telling the truth. You say it does not affect who you are... but I'm afraid it does because it is making you into a liar and who wants to be a liar? You obviously don't or you wouldn't be asking this question. Truth is, it IS changing who you are, what you are, what you do and it affects everything. Stop it or you will not be able to tell what is real and what is not. This can seriously affect your mental health long term.