Here is my story. I'm a 29 year old male who was dating a 26 year old girl for about 2 years. We broke up about 4 months ago because I felt that she was becoming rather selfish in the relationship. All about her! Her friends, her family, come over to her place. She seemed to care less and less about my family, my house, and my friends. When I wanted to hang out with my family, she did something else. We were just not spending that much time together anymore. About a month ago, we started hanging out again and we were deciding to give our relationship another try. That is until I saw a picture that made me so mad I started having serious second thoughts.
I'll give you a little background. She loves to go out with her girlfriends almost every Saturday and go clubbing and dancing. I hate clubs! I'm almost 30 and I think a guy that age has no business in a dance club, besides the fact that I hate to dance. Anyway, I'm also not the jealous type of guy. I've always trusted her and she has never really given me a reason not to, until now. I was looking at her Myspace page recently. For those of you who don't know what Myspace is, it's a friend website where you send friends little messages daily, keep in touch with old friends etc... and most people post pictures on there as well. So, I was looking at her myspace when I ran across a picture of her and a guy that she has told me about. I knew about this guy a couple months after we broke up because she said she went on a couple dates with him. No big deal right? Well, that is what I thought, until I saw the comment and date posted on the picture. It was a picture of him holding her up on his shoulder, like she was sitting on his shoulder. On top of that, she had a short skirt on on top of his shoulder. Now for the worse part. The comment next to the picture was, "it was nice meeting you last night." The date posted was July. We broke up in early September. So we were still together when that picture was taken. I don't think she necessarily cheated on me and she swears she didn't. She said it was just a funny picture. The part that bothers me is that she was out with her girlfriends and they met this guy that night. He was a stranger. Again, I'm not sure that she cheated on me, but my question is, why is she posing on a guys shoulders for a picture when she has a boyfriend? She has a lot of guy friends and I told her if it was one of them holding her up like that it would have been no problem. The fact that it was a guy she just met pisses me off to no end!! The thing that really pisses me off is that when I asked her about it she saw nothing wrong with it! She said nothing happened, it was just a picture. Well, that may be but how she can think there is nothing wrong with posing like that with a strange guy she's known 5 hrs. is beyond me! I said if the roles were reversed and I was out with my friends posing with a girl I just met on my shoulders, how would she react. She said she would be fine with it because she trusts me. I know this girl very well, and I know for a fact she would have been so pissed at me! I told her I've lost a lot of trust in her because I can't be sure that she is doing the right things when she's out with the girls. That pissed her off so much that she told me not to contact her anymore and to leave her alone. She took no responsibility for any of it, it was no big deal to her! So we haven't talked in over two weeks and it looks like getting back together is out of the question. It's probably better off anyway. My real question to all of you is this, " did I overreact to that picture?" She's never given me any reason not to trut her before, but that picture was worth a thousand words to me! Should I have given her the benefit of the doubt? I feel like my reaction was the correct one and one that most people would have. Please let me know you're input. Thank you!

I don't think you over reacted, and I'm sure if she really would have seen a pic of you and another girl like that, she would have flipped out. And her girlfriends would have been like omg look at him with another girl on his shoulders. Even if she says nothing happened, its just disrespectful to do such a thing. You have to have respect for your significant other, and I don't think she had much for you.

Buddy listen. Me and my ex (both 25 and been broke up a week) went through the same kind of thing. Except, she had started a new job and went to little "halloween get together." Anyway, I saw a picture of her, she had on a little tiny skirt and was huggin on this guy in every picture. She also said it was no big deal and I didn't get mad at her. But inside I was pissed! Anyway, we hadn't been hangin out that much either lately (we dated almost 3 yrs) and it just really got to me. I know that eary on in the relationship she would never have done that. I know it sounds dumb, a picture right? But you know as well as I do that you would never do that to her if it was going to be any kind of question. So, no I don't think you did... now I'm doing this NC thing (been a week) and hoping she'll call. I KNOW! Its for me not to get back together buy anyawy

I really don't think you were happy in this relationship, and the picture was the last straw. Its probably been over for sometime. Okay now move on.

Girls love attention. They crave it. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, so she probably just did this for a picture and nothing probably did happen.

But this is the way she wants to act and will continue acting, no matter what you think. Does this bother you? Will it bother you in the future? If so, there's really no fixing this. I dated a girl who was absolutely GREAT in every way... except she was a huge flirt. She sat in my friends laps, smacked their asses, etc. I had to get rid of her. She wasn't respecting me, and without respect, there is no relationship. It was hard to do, but I did it, and I got over it in less than a week.

Oddly enough, I met a guy 1-2 years later, and after talking to him at a store, I found out he was her new boyfriend, and he had the same problem I had with her. She never changed! Good move by me. :)