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View Full Version : Just Dumped, Got Questions.


tink9799
Jan 12, 2008, 05:34 AM
My boyfriend broke up with me this past weekend. I am really hurt by the whole thing. I don't know what to think... He started by saying that he wanted his space. Then goes on to tell me that he wants to take a break for a while.

He tells me I am too needy, too demanding, I don't give him his space... yadda... yadda... yadda. I want him back so badly. He and I got into an argument yesterday morning, he said that we are not together, he owes me no phone call, no good morning, no good night. I don't know if he is just angry, or what.

I told him yesterday morning, I would not call him and would not text him. I told him I was going to call him today (Saturday) and tell him good luck or congrats... he is purchasing a jet ski. I said since I won't make that phone call, I will tell you now. I did just that. I left it at " you know my number, you know how to get in touch with me, when you want to talk to me, you call me"

1.) did I do the right thing?
2.) Should I just call the whole thing off and count my losses.
3.) Is there any chance we can still be friends. We do work together.

Bluerose
Jan 12, 2008, 06:41 AM
tink9799,

Personally I think you did the right thing. No contact is the general rule after a break up, it gives you time to miss each other and get a better idea of where the relationship is going. After say three weeks to three months, if nothing happens to bring you back together then I'm afraid it's time to accept that it is time to move on.

s_cianci
Jan 12, 2008, 06:48 AM
He tells me I am too needy, too demanding, I don't give him his space... This is a #1 relationship killer. You need to get out of this mindset. Be grateful that he was willing and able to be so honest with you.

1.) did I do the right thing?Yep. Don't contact him or attempt to contact him at all, period.

2.) Should I just call the whole thing off and count my losses.That's what I would do.

3.) Is there any chance we can still be friends. We do work together.Don't bank on it. That "friends" jazz is just a cop-out. You can work together but you don't have to be friends. Work is work, not a social network.

allswell
Jan 12, 2008, 05:13 PM
He tells me I am too needy, too demanding, I dont give him his space...yadda...yadda...yadda.
1.) did I do the right thing?
2.) Should I just call the whole thing off and count my losses.
3.) Is there any chance we can still be friends. We do work together.

Yes, you did the right thing. Don't call--you were very clear on that and going back on your word will only hurt you down the line. Crying wolf is never is a good thing.

It's up to you if you want to cut your losses... it's an internal process that you have to go through to get through that stage, and NC helps that.

I do, however, feel the need to say something. Now I realize that all of use certain shortcuts and liberties when posting here and "email" is never a good way to express yourself. And maybe I am misunderstanding the post. Having said that, your use of "yadda yadda" for some reason really bothered me. I kind of felt that his very clear message was lost on you--does that make sense? As s_cianci said, he was respectful enough to tell you the real reason behind decision, and you really need to listen to and heed it. This is your chance to show him, in a non-verbal way, that you don't have to be need or too demanding all the time, and give him what he wants. If it's space, then give it to him.

And finally, I am going through a workplace break up right now and let me tell you, it's gut-wrenching. I don't advise being friends--it ma happen a long, long, long time from now, when you have both truly moved on. In the meantime, you need to be courteous, professional and cordial toward him in the workplace and leave your personal baggage at the door. The last thing you need is this break-up jeopardizing your career.

Good luck.

TrueFaith
Jan 12, 2008, 08:50 PM
I use to be really needy it was hard to break the mind set. When you love something you just wanan be around it so much. I know its odd how it breaks so many people up. But it is the best thing. Its not healthy at all..


And yeah you did the wrong thing you have to be strong

No contact

Good luck :)

talaniman
Jan 13, 2008, 03:23 PM
1.) did I do the right thing?
YES
2.) Should I just call the whole thing off and count my losses.
YES
3.) Is there any chance we can still be friends. We do work together.
NO! Not now for sure.

douapuncte
Jan 13, 2008, 06:30 PM
He wants space,give him the galaxy,let things go.The need he has for space is translated as:"I'm sick of you,I quit,I don't like you anymore".You are a smart girl,f**k him,he doesn't deserve you,you're too good for him.Nicelly done!