I know he has feelings for me... we work together, so I have to see him everyday... this has been going on for 2 1/2 years. I feel like just a booty-call-f**k buddy anymore. He is married. I have to hear about what 'they' did over the weekend and blah, blah, blah. I have tried explaining to him about how I feel like just a whore and that is the furthest thing that I am. I have been putting him off for 3 weeks now and he keeps of pursuing me about coming over. Doesn't help that he absolutely turns me on. Today he wrote me a note that said 'I want you really bad'. God, I want him too but for my own well being I just don't know anymore. I don't want to hurt him and don't know what to do anymore. He is extremely unhappy at home so I don't know why he still talks about her and takes her places. Help me someone please. He has never even asked me out on a date... just sex... what can I do to make him take it to the next level?

You can't. You are right, you are the sex toy in this relationship and it is not likely to change. There is no motivation for him to change anything. He has his cake at home and the icing too (with you).

You do not want to hurt him? Excuse me, but what world do you live in? You are already hurting and he is not apologizing for that, is he? Get some courage and tell him that while you enjoy his attentions, the well has run dry and will remain dry until you see the dry ink on the divorce papers. Then mean it!

Then after you say this to me and stick to your words go and get a new life. The time you have spent waiting for him, having sex with him, re-arranging your life for him, etc. you can take that same time and devote it to fidning a new life for yourself. Meet new people, get a hobby, maybe a part time job, volunteer, go and work out and physically exhaust yourself - ANYTHING constructive for your own well being.

This guy is a loser with a capital L. There should be a stamp made like that - like the kind meat inspectors use for inspecting beef. Would be easier to identify these chumps.

If you stay with this married gigolo, you have only yourself to blame.

Are you mad, WAKE UP this bloke is USING you, he will tell you anything to get what he wants, and if he was really unhappy at home, he would have left. Forget this user, move on and find someone single, who is willing to spend time with you that doesn't just involve sex. Oh yes, and in the unlikely event he does leave his poor wife, who doesn't know he is screwing you then going home to screw her, the chances of him doing the same to you as he is to his WIFE, are pretty much 100%. Don't waste your life with him... move on.

You are a sex call for him, most likely a sending that note to his wife will get him to stop sending you more notes.

Of course if he is willing to pay you, at least you will get something out of it.

Two and a half years is a long time in the life of a young person. For some reason, you don't want to go out into life and find a real relationship... I think if I were you, that is what I would be concerned about. It can be fun to have an illicit relationship, but ultimately, it is probably self-destructive.

Maybe, now you are wanting to have more than hot sex? If so, you may want to have some sessions with a good therapist to help you gain insight about your relationships with men. That knowledge will help you gain confidence so you will feel comfortable asking more from yourself in life.

Hoping 2008 is a year of new experiences for you. :)