How does one go about offering gift suggestions for their children? The holidays are now behind us and I wonder how I should have handled things differently for future years. Family and friends solicit me as to what my boys want and I find myself struggling to come up with an answer.

Many of our elderly relatives just send them cash gifts. We opened 529 education accounts for them and have deposited any money they receive there. My husband thinks we should send our family and friends a letter letting them know we have set up education accounts for the kids. I feel this is basically solicitation and I'm not OK with it. So, what do I do?

And what do I say to people who want to know what the kids want? I don't want to become my sister who tells you what to get her kids every year.

Your husband does not have a bad idea there. Since you have family who ask what your children need - funds for college is an excellent gift giving idea. It is concrete, planning for a future, and they know it is not going to be blown on video games or something that will break in a month.

I never minded contributing to my nephew's and niece college fund. Much would rather do that then get them a sweater that they will not wear. You and your husband are the ones who can stipulate exactly how that money will be spent. It will not just be a blank check for college.

A letter is like a fundraising effort... don't do it! If someone asks, that's another story and it depends on who's asking. A neighbor who's kid is coming to the birthday party? I would come up with something small that your kid likes to play with. If it's someone who tends to give more and is close (family or a godparent, for example) I think it's fine to share with them that one option is to give the children something to put in their college savings because your are teaching the children about living simply and planning for the future.

Consider who's asking though... some people have to have a wrapped package, and it has to be fun. That's their choice, and really, kids should get some fun gifts, too! College savings is a great idea but it is pretty dull to a grade schooler.

My parents give my son a small, inexpensive, token gift that he can play with and spend the rest of their gift budget for him on savings bonds, stocks and so on. The older he gets, the less the small gift means and the more he appreciates the financial gifts.