My boyfriend just moved in with me and my two sons. He has been going through a tough time at work & for awhile, money was tight. I completely understood when he said to me that he didn't have anything for me to open on Christmas day but will get me something soon. Before he even said anything, I knew that would be the case, so I was not upset.

Last night, he told me that he was going to get this huge sleeve tattoo this weekend. I was astonished when he said this because finances are low. I said "Oh, I didn't know you were doing that now; We didn't talk about it." He told me that he didn't think it was something he needed to talk to me about and seemed annoyed that I even had asked about it.

He can do whatever he wants with his money, that's not the thing that bothers me. What's bothering me is that I put sooooo much effort into making sure he and my sons had a good Christmas and he didn't even give me a card. I just want something from the heart. I know not to expect an engagement ring; I've been disappointed too many times to keep that dream alive.

How do I tell him that I am hurt without starting an argument or hurting his feelings?

Any thoughts?
Thanks, Trish

He sounds a bit selfish to me? Does he pay rent? Buy grocerys etc... I would make damn sure he was not trying to take me for a free ride.

Selfish... yes.

Immature... possibly.

I may be biased as I'm not a big fan of tattoos... but I would feel that he'd at least get you a card on christmas. If not a card, why not a letter? Why not make breakfast in bed? There's plenty you can do with less than $5 that says a lot.

I'd go with bushg and ask, does he do anything else around the house to help you? Pay rent? Take care of your kids?

Whoa! Huge red flag here! He has enough money to get a sleeve? That is quite costly, but yet not enough money to buy you a card. It seems fishy and like you are being taken advantage of. If he does not help with the finances and daily living at your home HE SHOULD! You deserve to be recognized as a special person in his life and if he cannot do that then he is way to selfish to be with a mother and children. But, that is my opinion.

He does help with the kids LOTS. In fact, he has become my oldest sons scout leader. He will go to the supermarket, do things around the house and even cook. I have no complaints when it comes to holding up his end of household responsibilities including financial obligations. It just seems when it's his turn to do something for me... just me... he flakes. I just don't understand him I guess.
I appreciate your opinions everyone.

Hmmm... so he's rebelling against "expected" relationship stuff, like a gift for his woman. Sounds to me like his independence feels threatened since he moved in with you, and he's trying to show that he only has to look out for himself by getting a stupid tattoo. At this rate, I wouldn't expect anything for V-Day neither.

Just express to him how hurt you are, you didn't get anything for Christmas. Keep your eyes open for any more red flags and re-evaluate this situation if he cannot accept you are hurtting.