Its been about 7 weeks now sence my ex has left me. There were A LOT of different things that contributed to the break up. It felt surreal at first, like I was in a dream... It hasn't really hit me untill now, feeling all alone. I was content with the situation at first, I felt happy to be free and single. Now, all the sadness of past memories are catching up with me and I feel like I am stuck at a cross road. There is a part of me that is telling me to be strong and keep my head up. Then, the other part of me wants to let loose and drink my pain away. I know things are going to be better off without eachother, but how do you say goodbye to four years, ESPECIALLY when there is a baby involved. Im trying so so hard to be strong for my daughter and keep it together, but I just want to break down inside.

Everyday now is a rollercoaster ride, I dont know when I wake up if it's going to be an "up" day or a "down" day. I can't eat. In the past 7 weeks, I have lost 30 lbs. Now, Im having a REAL hard time sleeping. Why am I so sad, when I know in my heart that this is for the better? :confused:

I ended a 6 year relationship about a year 8 months ago and thought that I would be fine and dandy regarding it because it had been rocky for a while and thought it was for the best. Fast forward to now and I have had a 2nd relationship end because basically I was overly needy and expecting to be cared about the same way that I was from my long term ex, which basically sees me grieving for 2 relationships.

What I learnt from this is even when you know a relationship ending is for the best and you feel content and happy, you still need a grieving period! For all the bad things and small little things that led to me ultimately leaving the first relationship there is still something inherently special about being close to someone for a long time. They know more about you than you do and share in some very important memories. She was very sad when I left her and at the time I basically went no contact for myself and for her.

One of the good things to come out of it is that our relationship was basically a co-dependant relationship. She relied on me for pretty much all the happiness in her life and while I was prepared to give it for a long time it ultimately was too much. Now after 6+ months of very little contact she is an extremely confident young woman who has guys chasing her and me wondering why I left her in the first place. She has a very large social circle and has righted so many things about her that I thought she wasn't capable of doing.

I guess what I am saying in a round about way is that if your heart of hearts knows this is for the better than try and embrace the pain if even a little bit and know that you are a good person for seeing it through for yourself and your daughter. I myself am going through the up and down phases knowing that not only is my ex in a far better place than what I am but I also lost the opportunity of being with someone I think is very special.

We all have pain and misery and confusion after a break up. Doesn't really matter how long it lasted, when its over. You are not alone and must give yourself time to greive. It's a must. Read the links in my signature and know it will get better.

As Talaniamn said, read the links; and this one: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-break-up-survive-101-use-you-wish-114179.html