My Husband is Dying and I feel so alone. I have a handicap sister also which I take care of. My brother is trying to help. I want to say thanks. But I will cry too much because I will have to say it out loud. I have tried to tell my daughter. She thinks he will be here for a few years and I am worried about nothing. I have not told my son everything. Because he has two altistic children, and that's a lot. Me and my husband know his time is short. We talk a little when he is not to tired. I let him talk to me. I thought about going to go and get some antideppresent. To maybe help me though this. What do other people do. I see some stand strong. DO they cry when no one is around.

Denice,you need to talk to someone,no one is a rock all the time.I'll pray for you even thou I am not a christian I do think God hears everyone.If you fall apart what will become of your sister,so if you don't do it for yourself do it for her.I think you should tell the immediate family about this and don't shoulder this burden alone.

What is it that your husband is dying from? An antidepressant helped me to get through the suffering and death of my mother about ten years ago.

Some people cry when no one is around, and others don't. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way. Sometimes a good cry is what helps a little. Other people find help through counseling with religious leaders or bereavement counselors. You are certainly dealing with a lot of issues, but I would let the family in on it, though it won't be an easy thing. Your daughter who thinks Dad will be around for awhile, might be experiencing denial or hoping that things aren't all that bad as a way for her to cope with the situation. I would also let your son know. He has an involvement as well, and if it were me, I would want to know so that I could be involved no matter what other things were going on in my life. You don't have to shelter other people from your feelings. You have every reason to cry when you talk about such an emotional thing. Let others in, and share with them.

Denice, I posted the following on your first post so will send it then comment at the end of this on this current post:

Denice, you will find a lot of warm hearted, loving people on this site. Please feel free to share feelings, ask questions, whatever your needs are, there will be someone ready and willing to be here for you. If you are uncomfortable sharing in the open forum about certain questions or sharing of feelings, you always have the option of private messaging. Just wanted to share that since I noticed you are a new member. Don't feel shy to ask for emotional support. We all need one another. You can private message anyone, just go to their profile or if someone replies to your post, just left click on their name and you will see the option to PM. If no one responds immediately, just remember that most have jobs and some have children, grandchildren and so are not available at the exact moment you post but please, don't give up. We will answer, usually within the same day. Our hearts go out to you and we are here for you.

Denice, please know that "they", "I", "we", not only cry when we are alone but when we are in the car, in a store, outside. Bless your heart. It sounds like you have your plate full and feel so alone. You are not alone. Many will be here for you.

Please don't be discouraged at slow response from us. Give us time to respond. Sometimes, we need to think through what we want to say before typing. Just know that many are going through similar situations and some have walked in your shoes so to speak and can offer great support to you. You are not alone. I do not know what your faith belief is, but I believe in God and his son Jesus Christ and His word. If we have put our faith in Him, He promises He will never leave us nor forsake us. Take heart in that promise. There will be others posting soon. Just know you are not alone Denice.

Please just share with us. We will go at your pace.

Denice, I notice that you are now offline. I hope you can sleep tonight and we will be here for you tomorrow. Good night. I will be praying that God wraps you in His comfort and gives you much needed rest tonight.

My Husband is Dying and i feel so alone. I have a handicap sister also which I take care of. My brother is trying to help. I want to say thanks. But i will cry to much becouse i will have to say it out loud. I have tried to tell my daughter. She thinks he will be here for a few years and I am worried about nothing. I have not told my son everything. becouse he has two altistic children, and thats alot. Me and my husband know his time is short. We talk a little when he is not to tired. I let him talk to me. I thought about going to go and get some antideppresent. To maybe help me though this. What do other people do. I see some stand strong. DO they cry when no one is around.
Hi Denise I am Lady Kalliope, no I am not going to tell you that what you are going through will get easier, but I took care of terminally ill patients for 8 years, and it was exhausting for me. With all you have on your plate, you may need antidepressants, but most of all you need friends, and family around to support you. If you need to talk I am here for you, you may think I'm nuts but Ive been there many times over, and I would like to help you in this dark time for you. Brightest blessings to you and your family

Originally Posted by denice
I see some stand strong. DO they cry when no one is around.


In public, I stood strong when my father was going through the process of dying as a result of cancer. When I was alone, I would cry very hard.

Denice, I will be checking my computer throughout the day periodically to see if you have posted. I will have to leave at 5:00 to feed my mother at the Nursing Home and get her to bed but will check again on my return a few hours later. From the posts I have read, there are several others anxious to hear from you to help you also.

Please do consider being very open with your family. You are trying to protect too many people. That is an awful heavy load for you to carry. You may be surprised how healing, opening up with them, might be for you and for them. Until later then!

I'm very sorry for your situation. What you're experiencing is quite normal. You may want to talk to your physician about a short-term, low-dose antidepressant or something similar to help you cope while the situation is at its most intense if that's what you feel you need. Be honest and forthright in communicating with your children and whoever else is impacted by this situation. It will get better with time.

I was so upset jerry is starting to turn green. I know he has liver cancer. No one told us. We just knew. But when signs show there ugly face it is hard. Five years ago my mother committed suicide she had parkinson very bad. That took me almost two years to get some of my life back. Then a year and a half ago my best friend died liver cancer. Then my sister went down stairs and said do not call 911. She came back up two days later. But she is not the same person I think she had a stroke. She is so mean and hateful. We are going to move so she can not find us. So I have very little family. It was nice to write it to someone and everybody that wrote back thank you so much. If I can I am going to get something to help me. I had something for two weeks when my mother passed away and it helped a lot. I will let everyone know how I do again thank you all so much. I know it will get bad again and you all will be here denice

I am glad that today was better, Denice! We are here and would like to be of support for you!

i was so upset jerry is starting to turn green. i know he has liver cancer. no one told us. we just knew. but when signs show there ugly face it is hard. five years ago my mother committed suicide she had parkinson very bad. that took me almost two years to get some of my life back. then a year and a half ago my best freind died liver cancer. then my sister went down stairs and said do not call 911. she came back up two days later. but she is not the same person i think she had a stroke. she is so mean and hateful. we are going to move so she can not find us. so i have very little family. it was nice to write it to someone and everybody that wrote back thank you so much. if i can i am going to get something to help me. i had something for two weeks when my mother passed away and it helped alot. i will let everyone know how i do again thank you all so much. i know it will get bad again and you all will be here denice

We will be here Denice. Knowing you have people to share your problems with here on the site when things get too hard, is such a blessing. There are so many good people here who care from deep within their hearts. Caregivers tend to deplete themselves of every thing they have before seeking help. Take care of you. Best to you!

And, a very fine and caring post by jrebel7 above! We are here for you Denice! It would be helpful if you would just continue to keep posting responses on this thread to other responses that have been added rather than starting a whole new thread. I just happened to notice that you had posted again, and requested that your post be attached to this thread.

This place doesn't operate like a chat room.

If you wouldn't mind, would you please let us know approximately where you are located and when you might be online here again? Maybe we could coordinate it so that we are all online at the same time.

Thank you, kindly!

Well I am back. Jerry is doing OK for all the changes he has been though. They said his copd has gotten worse and now he has nodules in both lungs. He can no longer hear me but he hears other voices and thinks it is me. He is very confused. I think he has cancer of the brain.
Our best friend died a year ago of this. And this is how jerry is acting. I know his time is short.
I did tell my brothers. And my handicap sister can stay in fl. They will take care of her. Until I am better. I am going to tell my son tomorrow that will be the hardest of all. Well will take later going to make some tea.

Denice,
Thank you so much for the update. You have been going through so much. It is times like these that really make me look at life with more depth. I would love to live in denial at times but sadly we have to face things square on.

One of my really good friends passed with brain cancer. I had gone over weekly and gave hot oil massages to help with muscle pain which was such a blessed time for me. I hope it was for her. This time you have spent being the caregiver I know has to have taken such a toll on you. It should comfort your heart somewhat knowing that you have shown others what it is like to have staying power even when every fiber of your being want to scream.

I know you stated earlier that you have very little family. Please know that although most of us are what you might call "virtual" friends or "virtual" family, our hearts care just as deeply for what you are going through. I just appreciate the update so much.

People say to live life to the fullest each day and that is great advice. But when we are going through things this tough, it is a great accomplishment just to get through the day, physically, and emotionally. You sound like you are staying strong for Jerry. What a gift that is to him.

Enjoy your tea and breath slow and deep to try to help your muscles and your mind to relax. Please, keep us posted, not on just how Jerry is doing but how you are doing.

Always feel free to send Private Messages if you need to just type and vent your frustrations, concerns, grief. We all need a good strong support base. This site is great for that. Take care.

Thank you for sharing again with us, Denice! You know that you don't have to face these things alone. I can't really add much to what jrebel7 has stated other than you are a strong person and I admire that! What a fine example for your son!

well i am back. jerry is doing ok for all the changes he has been though. they said his copd has gotten worse and now he has nodules in both lungs. he can no longer hear me but he hears other voices and thinks it is me. he is very confused. i think he has cancer of the brain.
our best freind died a year ago of this. and this is how jerry is acting. i know his time is short.
i did tell my brothers. and my handicap sister can stay in fl. they will take care of her. until i am better. i am going to tell my son tomorrow that will be the hardest of all. well will take later going to make some tea.


This is so close to me that's hard to put it down on paper - but my husband died 7-1/2 weeks ago (Christmas Day, in fact), after 3-1/2 weeks of incredible, unexpected suffering. I never gave up hope until the very end and spent all day, every day, in the ICU. And, yes, I was strong at the hospital and never shed a tear in his presence, never once. I would come home, turn on the shower and pound my hands against the tiles and scream - but as far as the World knew I was okay.

The only advice I have for you is do not allow anyone to say anything upsetting or negative in your husband's presence, no matter how unconscious they think he is. I actually threw Doctors out of my husband's room and on more than one occasion after believing he was totally out of things he would rally and squeeze my hand and answer questions - he wasn't going to hear anything upsetting on my watch.

The first day I was told there was no hope, absolutely no hope, was our wedding anniversary - and when I went in my husband knew me, squeezed my hand, tried to speak, nodded his head yes and no. The staff was amazed, the Doctors came in in disbelief but he pulled it together that one last day. You just don't really know what the patient can hear.

My husband, right at the beginning of his hospitalization, said that when his ears no longer heard me his heart would, no matter where he was, no matter where I was - and I talked to him up until the minute he died... and I talk to him still.

I'm so sorry you're going through this - and there are just no words -

My father died of Lymphoma that spread to his liver, he passed away less than two weeks after he was diagnosed (but he was already in the advanced stage of liver cancer). When he passed on his liver was three times the normal size. For five days after his death I cried non stop, stopped eating or showering or anything, all I did was sleep, cry and scream at God. My son was not even 2 1/2 years old at the time and my mother was also dying of cancer and grieving for the loss of her soul mate (they had a very fantastic marriage). After 5 days of grieving I finally realized that I had to be strong for my son and my mother and I pulled myself together. I did start taking antidepressants and that helped, I also started going to a therapist that specially deals with people who are dying of cancer or have lost or are losing a loved one to cancer. Eventually the pain lessened only to be brought back 6 1/2 months later when my mother lost her battle with this terrible disease. This all happened in 2001, as of today I live each day as if it were my last, I cherish all the time I have with my family and friends. Do I still mourn for my parents? Yes, the pain isn't as terrible as it used to be but every once in a while I'll see or hear something that reminds me of the happy times and it brings a tear to my eyes. I am praying for you and the ordeal you must face, don't be afraid to show or tell people what you are feeling, talking about it will help you heal. We are all here if you need to vent or cry, but don't be afraid to include the people that are physically in your life. God bless.

Oh you are so right. If it is anything but quite he gets so upset. I even turned off the phone and put a sign do not knock. If they belong here they come in. yesterday was bad. He woke up coughing blood. My brother went and got some herbs. And last night he sleep very well. We made some tea out of the herbs. And he was scared to drink it. It seems he is scared of the strangest things. Thank you everybody for written you would be amazed how much it helps just to read and write to everyone. Thank you again denice

Denice, Please contact your local hospice. I currently volunteer for one, and I know first hand that they really do help with the whole dying process and they will make your husband as comfortable as possible. If you are unsure about how to get ahold of one, contact the hospital to find out.

I hope that today finds you well and strong. My prayers are with you at this terrible time. I will continue to write every once in a while to see how you are doing. I know that we'll all be here for you if you need us. God bless you and your family. Take care.

I lost my Dad in 2004 to tongue cancer. He fought bravely for a year, but in the end, it won. Even though its been four years, at times I'll still just break down and weep...

People say that time heals all wounds... time only numbs the pain and makes the time between tears easier to deal with. Yes, we all cry. We all break down... it is natural to do so. I'm sorry that you feel like you're dealing with this all alone, but believe me, you are not alone. Your husband is always with you in the memory that you carry in your heart, now and forever.

Two things that I have done that have helped me IMMENSELY are:

1. Take the time you need. I schedule in 10 minutes each day to cry, scream, weep, be angry, whatever I needed. You have to give yourself the time you need to grieve. Even now, four years later, I still need that ten minutes some days. It helps you to know that you have a set time that you can use to let out all your frustrations and hurts, then wipe your tears and go on until the next day. Believe me... the days that you use the ten minutes will become fewer and fewer, but knowing that the time is there is comforting.

2. Adopt a candle for him. I'm partial to Yankee Candle, but whatever you decide, pick out a special candle just for him. Mine is Jack Frost. Every time I burn the candle, I smell that pepperminty smell and it just reminds me of Dad. Burning candles is a great way to knit your hearts together and carry you through the tough times.

Hope these help you, and like I said before, you're not alone. Remember that you are who you are because of your husband's influence on your life - and you will continue to develop into the person that you will be because of your love and honor for him. Keep your chin up... and message me if you want to chat more.

We had hospice come in to take care of my Dad... please, contact your local chapter. It will help you in ways that you can't even begin to understand. My Mom now volunteers with hospice... she feels it is a way to give back. Hospice is still helping my family cope and grow.

You are loved. You are cherished. You are going to make it.

Denice, Please contact your local hospice. I currently volunteer for one, and I know first hand that they really do help with the whole dying process and they will make your husband as comfortable as possible. If you are unsure about how to get ahold of one, contact the hospital to find out.


Oh, yes, Denice - Hospice is simply wonderful, amazingly supportive for everyone. I didn't use Hospice because of our particular circumstances but they did come in and they were amazing people.

The only other thing - and I don't mean to upset anyone - be very, very careful of the Clergy. I walked into ICU and discovered a Clergyperson with my husband, a different religion, no one I ever met, no one I requested, no one my husband requested to see, and the Clergyperson was reciting the prayers for the dying. I'm sure she thought she was doing a good thing but it wasn't praying over him - it was prayers for the dying!

I found out later that in that particular hospital the Clergy can come and go as they wish - wandering in and out of rooms, invited or not. Probably a good idea in theory but a very bad idea in practice.

Needless to say she was out of the room in seconds, never came back and I ran screaming to the hospital administrator. No problem praying with/over my husband - but I didn't know what he knew or didn't know and didn't think he needed to hear he was dying!

Denise,
I can fully understand how you feel. A few years ago I lost my husband of 34 years. We had been together since I was 19. My family was all grown up and my kids had their own lives. They were very much there for me in the end. Family and Friends can help a great deal, but when they are gone and you are alone is when it hits the most.
Yes when I was alone I cried, I cried at work, I cried in the car driving down the road, I got mad and yelled at God, I told him "I can't do this", but I did.
I personally decided against any medications, but instead I surrounded myself with work and people and my kitty that was a great comfort to me.
I don't know your husband's condition, but Hospice was a great help to me. They kept me sane. I also joined a support group on the internet where I met others going through the same thing and that helped me a great deal to cope with the feelings.
You are absolutely correct, you feel alone even when others are around and the feeling never goes away and the butterflies in your stomach and the not sleeping and the headaches and constant fatigue.

My husband has been gone several years now and I met someone and remarried. It was not an easy situation and sometimes I can still feel his presence at Holidays and special events.

I just want you to know that you can talk to me whenever you need. I know it is hard and unless you have been there you have no clue how hard it is and it gets harder before it gets better, but it does get better. Life does go on and you will go on with it.

Shirley

Well yesterday was much better. Jerry was so upset he said he was a shamed that he was ill. No matter what I said it did not make him feel better. So I took him back to the doctors. They gave him some medicine so he did not get so upset. He was sitting there and one of the waves came on in front of the nurse. He gets very angry and stikes out. Well they saw it. And decided I was correct. I wanted to hit them in the head. So he finally got some good sleep last night. Me too. My problem is. You know some one is dying. And they do not want cancer treatment. They just want to be home. Well to be home let them be happy. And pain free if they wish this.

I would definitely recommend getting a depression screening and talking it over with your doctor. I would also recommend seeing if there is a support group and/or therapist nearby.

You need support, hon!! Please get it and take care of yourself!!

Denice,

Hang in there, the anger your husband is feeling and showing is because he feels so helpless and men have a hard time with that. They don't do well being ill, they get angry and depressed and they lash out at those that love them because they can't lash out at anyone else. It is very hard to watch a healthy, active man progress into such an illness that saps his very being. It is probably the hardest thing you have ever had to do or ever will have to do. When that happens picture the two of you at one of your happiest times in your mind, it will help you somewhat to cope with the horrible symptoms of the illness.

I strongly suggest you call Hospice. If you are getting Medicare or Medicaid help they will pay for the hospice. Than your husband can spend his last few months in dignity and pain free in his own home.

Those emergency room visits two or three times a week and than working and caring for others all at the same time will really take a toll on you. When my husband was so sick I almost made myself sick because I didn't eat. Emotionally I did not feel like eating, I didn't have time to eat and frankly I was just too exhausted to eat. I almost ended up in the hospital with him. Don't do that to yourself. The hospice can offer respite care. Take it and go shopping or to a movie. It is not bad if you do something for yourself, he will not die on the spot if you take a little time out for yourself. I promise you it will keep you sane.

Keep writing us here on the site, we will be here for you to talk to. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband that you will be guided through this time of heartache.

Remember one thing "God never gives you more than you can handle" you might think so sometimes, but he will be there to see you through it.

Shirley

Denice,

I've been thinking about you and your situation allot these last few days, I wish there was more I could do or say to help you through this terrible time in your life.

As I stated before, my father died of liver cancer, he was very confused and sometimes angry the last few days of his life. When the liver is riddled with cancer, all the toxins that normally get filtered will go throughout the body, brain included, at least that is how the doctors explained it to me. It's no wonder that this would cause confusion. My dad didn't realized he was dying until our entire family showed up at the hospital. He opened his eyes, saw his brothers, sister, nieces and nephews, and yes, his mother (and of course my mom and me) and he burst into tears. Thankfully he slipped into a coma one day after this and died 3 days after that.

I can't begin to imagine what it is like to loose your husband, losing my parents was bad enough. You are losing your mate, the man that you shared a life with, had children with, built a home with, laughed, cried and yelled with. My heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers. Things will get better, I promise. For now I'm sending you a big hug and hope that some of the burden has been taken from your shoulders.

I think that the person is right!

My Husband is Dying and i feel so alone. I have a handicap sister also which I take care of. My brother is trying to help. I want to say thanks. But i will cry to much becouse i will have to say it out loud. I have tried to tell my daughter. She thinks he will be here for a few years and I am worried about nothing. I have not told my son everything. becouse he has two altistic children, and thats alot. Me and my husband know his time is short. We talk a little when he is not to tired. I let him talk to me. I thought about going to go and get some antideppresent. To maybe help me though this. What do other people do. I see some stand strong. DO they cry when no one is around.
Hi Denice its OK you do need to be strong in front of him but it is OK to cry. It will not be easy but you will get through it. Talk to your family and friends even maybe a counselor will help. I'm also a new user on here don't know too much on how to operate this but I will be here to listen if you need someone to talk to

Well I was on antidepressants when my gradnfather died and my mother had to take me off them because I was "acting all wierd" I understand some of what you are going through I recently lost my father, and I feel now that I am older antidepressants might work a little etter, but they do have their ups and downs, like any other perscriptive drug. If you start to feel funny check the side affects. With most you can feel suicidal tendances, that's when you need to talk to your doctor immediately. Any way have a good day and I hope I helped you in some way.

well i was on antidepressants when my gradnfather died and my mother had to take me off of them because i was "acting all wierd" i understand some of what you are going through i recently lost my father, and i feel now that i am older antidepressants might work a little etter, but they do have their ups and downs, like any other perscriptive drug. if you start to feel funny check the side affects. with most you can feel suicidal tendances, thats when you need to talk to your doctor immediatly. any way have a good day and i hope i helped you in some way.



Grief and depression are two different things. Sometimes grief turns into depression but many times you just have to work your way through grief. It's part of life and losing someone you love.

Denice,
I really think you would benefit more from a support group than from medications. The medications just numb you, they do not help you deal with the situation at hand and sometimes you become numb to the world in general.

There are probably hundreds of support groups on line. There are many you can go to in person in the community. Hospice will know of local support groups. If you would rather go on line than type in support groups for caretaker spouses and you can find them. Yahoo has many, the one I used to belong to was in Yahoo groups. They helped me a great deal through a tramatic time. I found some very kind caring people that were dealing with the same thing I was dealing with and since it was limited to members with ill spouses everything stayed within the group.

I found a local bereavement group after my husband passed at a local hospice. I met my now husband there and for a while we supported each other, cried on each other's shoulders and just were there for each other, for a long time. It helps when two people are going through the same thing and you can sit down and actually talk to someone that is facing the same thing every day that you are. It really means a lot. Whether male or female you will form a bond with that person that will last a lifetime.

Shirley

[QUOTE=Wildsporty]... I found a local bereavement group after my husband passed at a local hospice. I met my now husband there and for a while we supported each other, cried on each other's shoulders and just were there for each other, for a long time. It helps when two people are going through the same thing and you can sit down and actually talk to someone that is facing the same thing every day that you are. It really means a lot. Whether male or female you will form a bond with that person that will last a lifetime.


Not saying at all that this was the case with you AT ALL but I went to one bereavement group meeting, sponsored by the hospital, and it was like a singles bar on a Friday night. I was absolutely horrified.

I certainly have male acquaintances - I work in a male-dominated profession - but this was like my first college mixer.

I am aware that all support groups are not the same but I think you have to be really careful and/or make sure you are ready for the socialization aspect.

Judy,

My bereavement group was in the basement of the church, hosted by the hospice group. There were about 20 people all over 50. Not quite the college scene.

We took turns talking about our feelings and crying on each other's shoulders. Lots of hugs and lots of enchouragement. I don't know where your group was, but no it was not that kind of group.

The hospice people broke down the grieving process into stages and we tried to understand the different stages and where each of us were in our processes.

Families were there sometimes to try and understand how to help their grieving parents and spoke to us to help them understand what we were going through. It was a family type setting with a table and chairs. We all sat around a table and talked... and talked and sometimes we just listened when other's talked and didn't talk.

Most of all we tried to offer our support and encouragement to the others in the group. There were some parents there that had lost children and some children that had lost parents and spouse's that had lost spouse's.

This was not the support group, it was the bereavement group. I had to try a couple of different support groups before I found the right one. This was the bereavement group arranged by hospice.

We talked about everyday life and little things that were reminders and how to deal with those reminders. (I still deal with them at times). How to function when you are not functioning. A place you could cry or shout and no one would look at you funny.

No it was not a social group. It was a group of understanding, hurting people. It was a support group for this person I was back than that didn't know who I was . I was so scared and alone. Married at 19, my husband thought I couldn't do anything so he did everything for me.. I didn't even know how to put gas in my car... I was 52 years old! I didn't learn to drive until I was 34 when my husband got sick and I am still not a great driver! This group was so understanding and so helpful and so full of encouragement.

I went back to college with their encouragement and their nudging. I finished my degree and I am now making over twice as much as I was then and have a great career.

Yes, my husband was in the group, but only as a support person like everyone else. He did offer to drive me to the college in the large city which is the state capitol. He showed me how to fill my car with gas and he taught me how to drive on ice. We became friends over months and months of just being there when we were needed.

Yes, there are bad groups, but believe me there are good groups and they are not all social groups. That is why you need to find one through hospice.

When you find a good group of people going through the same thing you are, you will have friends for life. I am still friends with several of the ladies and gentlemen from the group. They are all going on with life, some are remarried, some are not and some are still grieving. We still get together once in a while and offer encouragement to each other.

Shirley

Thank you all this makes it a little easier thank you all for being there denice

thank you all this makes it a little easier thank you all for being there denice



How are you doing? Is it getting any better? Thinking about you -

Well he is stable right now. He is happy stoned and plays on the computor a lot. I have learned to fix it a lot. He is very unaware of what is going on. No time concept but he has quite falling for right now. We have moved in with my brother and his wife. We were all going to take a trip to fl. But jerry can no longer ride. He gets so seasick. So the kids are going to try to come up. My son has two altistic children. Pretty bad. So we shall see. But at least I can go to the store now and walk around outside. Thank you all for being there it really does help. I read everything. And my sister is safe too which helps me. Please all keep in touch if you can. It is all so nice thank you denice

well he is stable right now. he is happy stoned and plays on the computor alot. i have learned to fix it alot. he is very unaware of what is going on. no time concept but he has quite falling for right now. we have moved in with my brother and his wife. we were all going to take a trip to fl. but jerry can no longer ride. he gets so seasick. so the kids are going to try to come up. my son has two altistic children. pretty bad. so we shall see. but at least i can go to the store now and walk around outside. thank you all for being there it really does help. i read everything. and my sister is safe too which helps me. please all keep in touch if you can. it is all so nice thank you denice

Denice, thanks for the update. Sounds like things have settled a bit, at least you are coping with all that is going on it sounds like (although I know it is difficult) and family is involved, that is good. Has the doctor tried the patches for seasickness (Motion Sickness)? He probably has. I just thought of it because a man I know was not able to talk, unaware he was drooling. He has Parkinsons and Dementia. The doctor said, let's try this patch... walla... started talking, stopped drooling. Just an amazing difference and not something one would think would make a difference. I hope your husband's doctor is very proactive in searching for ways to help you and him to make the very best of this time. Keep us posted. It is always good to get an update. Thanks much! :)

Denice,
Thanks for the update. I hope it gets better for you, we are all here to talk to, wish I could say that it would get easier, but I am afraid it will get worse before it gets better.

Just try to hang in there and keep your sanity.

Shirley

It is great that you are listening attentively to him. You should assure him that everything is going to be fine and he should not worry about leaving you behind. Talk about the wonderful times you two had spent together in the past. Death is inevitable but the survivor should do his/her best to make the last moments as comfortable as possible.
You should tell your sons and other relatives. It is important that they engage in this process. Your husband will feel a lot better hearing from his children and other relatives. I pray for you.