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Hello, Roslynrain101!

We are here to listen and to help!

Is there just one single thing that really bothers you over all the other things that are troubling you?

I hope that you come back! I was looking forward to "talking" with you, sharing, lending support and giving you proactive ideas so that you will feel better about yourself. I have had the same thoughts and feelings like you are having right now, a number of times in my life.

You will overcome these feelings and thoughts. But, you do need support.

Thank you! I guess the biggest thing right now is not feeling valued by the people in my life whom I put on a pedistle. I feel like I try so hard to be a great friend and that it matters to no one. I just feel like I don't matter. I also just don't feel I know my purpose in life. That's is the worse thing right now.

What makes you think that how you treat people matters to no one?

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How do your friends "rate" their friends? Do they tell you this personally to you, that you are at the bottom of their lists?

Do you have any contact with alcohol or drugs? Are they part of your life?

I think it might be a good idea for you to look into the availability of need based counseling that you might be able to receive on a sliding fee scale based on your income. The depression you mentioned is something that can be recurrent. It can be triggered by many many things going on in life. I am not saying that to imply anything is wrong with you at all. I myself have had recurring episodes.
Finding or recognizing the triggers is often not easy, then deciding how to respond is often even more difficult. I think you are on the right path to discovery. Your feelings are very natural, and you are not alone. Keep posting all you want, and I'm sure many people on here will be happy to read or respond.

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Originally Posted by Roslynrain101
To Clough---I have asked my "friends" who their bffs are and they've told me consistently who they are and in what order of importance they are in. I'm the last in line...


Don't you find them doing that, to be rating their friends, as far as level of importance to be kind of childish?

Instead of concentrating on the problems in your life, what are the assets you have?

A gratitude list(a personal listing of what you are truly happy with in your life,i.e.. Kids happy marriage, new home, nice hair? good hygiene?etc,things your most proud of.)is what some like me would suggest. Looking at the positive daily, instead of at the overwhelming negatives, can be a rewarding effort, add whenever you can to the gratitude list, not to the negative one,slowly but surely,you can get the right positiveness life has to offer.

I, myself, am on medications and find them necessary to keep the depression away,as well as the support of the Ask Me Help Desk(AMHD) people, and other outside support groups,I say this because you might(As oneguyinohio stated) relate to some depressive issues that we do and might want to look into further help, beyond AMHD,please,keep an open mind towards professional help,it has saved more lives than we could ever imagine.

Lastly, I would like to address the personal image and perception of where you are in others lives, You Are Wanted In Here,Join Us In AMHD And Help Support Others Like You(and us)It has been a great help for me and changed some of my perception of who and what friends are(based on writing,and even ratings help perception too.)

If you are in need, we are here to help.

Look around the site and participate in the areas you can contribute to.

I would like to be accepted by you, just as much as you like being accepted by us!! :)

I hope this helps and would like to hear more from you soon,

Ken

I was stressed for at least 20 + years and got to the point I would kid ALL the time...
Nervous breakdown #7534985. Sometimes I wish I DID have one just to get it over with.
Getting a day away never even helped cause once back to the same stuff just put me right back into the same stress.
One thing I never let myself do was worry about what others think and take one thing at a time... taking one day at a time can even be too much.

Anyway, you will get through it. When people make you feel pressured think of creative ways to tell them you can't help. Like when people ask can you.. I often reply, "I was getting ready to ask you the same!"
Read some self empowering type stuff and think of different ways you can deal with different situations.