Hi me and my boyfriend have been datting for a few years and been having sex for a year and a half, but for some reson I have never had an orgasm before and it's bugging me that I haven't. We have tried many sites, and positions, and many shows that they show on TV, for helping people with sex stuff. There is nothing that I no of that can help me. Can anyone send me any information or tips on anyway you can help me and b/f
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Have you tried a slow approach where your partner stimulates your "G" spot. I find that this works about 99% of the time. Sometime you can have several orgasim's and then have your partner do his thing.

I have tryed that with him but it seems to hurt me still, we tryed it for like a half an hour. Also i've been goin to the doctor to see why it hurts but they can't find out the problem yet. Plz i need help..!!!

Have you ever had an orgasm on your own?

yes, i have tryed that too. I'm never able to reach one. So i've never had one before.:(

How old are you?

I'm 16 turning 17... why?

Hi miko
See having orgasm is more about feeling.
U and your b/f should be original and not try other stuff suggesteed. Chage the way and try things that come to your own. And make him explore your whole body and while you explore his.
OK
Please write back.

OK, you're going on 17, had sex already for a year and a half?? Hello... I sure hope this has been with protection and that he respects you enough to stop when it hurts you. There is more to sex and orgasm than just getting down to it. It needs a lot of work before it even happens, like tenderness, compliments, laughing and having fun doing other things that make you respect each other and want to be together. If you started dating him because it was the 'in' thing to do and have not really felt even a 'tingle' then, dear your going out with the wrong guy - plain and simple - he's not turning you on. The mind has a lot to play into this also and if you don't respect each other and don't have the tingly feeling when he calls - and you don't really like the sound of his voice or the way he acts in public, then it's time to move on. Watching films, reading literature, and playing acrobats will not help unless there is a deeper need for each other. Sex for a woman should not be an obligation, it should be a joy and you should feel content afterwards, not frustrated because you did not feel anything but discomfort.
I would suggest you try to imagine a fantasy guy in your own bed, think of the things you'd like to hear him say to you, touch yourself and get to know your body inch by inch to find what YOU like, and see if this takes you anywhere. He might be the cat's meow to everyone else and thinks so himself, but if he does nothing for you, then he's the wrong one. You are still young enough to 'try on other shoes' before buying them, but just make certain that you stay safe and use protection (both of you). If this guy has not found your 'g' spot yet, he never will, so do you think you'd want to stay with a person like him for the remainder of your life? Concentrate on education, future, independence and fun first, and then get to know your body - then share it on your terms. Imagine 'dirty dancing' with him, and if that does not feel right, then drop him. Imagine cooking or going to a carnival with him to have fun, and if that does not seem right, drop him. Sex is not everything, and when you're ready, you'll know it, so please don't force the issue - you'll regret it if you do. I hope this does not sound like a put-down, that's far from what I intend, your contentment and comfort is first and foremost the issue here, not any man, so please think about it and keep us posted. Good luck and all the best.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN)Life is too short, so don't waste it.

Have you tried supplements for women? Sentia was helpful in the same situation to my wife.

well we both love each other very much and respect each other, We do many fun things together. lol and i do love those things about him....the sound of his voice and the way he acts in public,(it's cute lol) but i will try and do those things with him, pictureing people and stuff.
Also whats, supplements for women?:confused:

If all the other feelings you have for each other are not negative, then try checking this site out and see if you get any hints here, and also don't be ashamed of talking to a doctor and your boyfriend about the issues that you might have that prevent you from enjoying sex the way you should. As you can see, you're not the only one with problems like this, and there is help - as long as you seek it. Hope this helps getting you on the right road to the joys of sex.

http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_sex_problems_in_women/article.htm

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN)Remember that communication is a crucial key here! And I hope you get the help you need to enjoy life to the fullest.

yes, my boyfriend and i talk through about ways it could help us improve our sex life, but nothing has helped so far. Also the Doctors have not yet found the problem to this yet. (i've gone through lots of testings and it feels very weird lol:p )
But ya this info has sent me on the right path so far. :D

Also whats, supplements for women?:confused:

Don't worry about it. You're too young to need supplements.

Anyway, you ARE young. You started having sex a long time go, too. You may not be ready for such sensations. I advise that you start by yourself. If you are not able to come to climax alone, you will find it difficult to do it with a partner.

I would assume that the majority of your problem is in your head. You can't get into it by just focusing on the orgasm. I assume its become such an issue that it is your primary thought and focus each time you two are intimate.

I had similar trouble with a girl many years ago. She had always had sex just because that's what guys wanted to do with her. She never let herself really... TRULY enjoy it. You let too many pretenses get in the way and you will never get there.

Don't have sex just to have sex. Set the mood... do it for each other. He needs to focus on your wants and needs as a woman and you as him as a man. I don't know if you enjoy masturbation but if you don't do it commly now, I would advise starting. The more in tune you can get with your body, the better you will be able to share that with your man.

If you are having intercourse and it is painful for you it is so hard to concentrate on you enjoying it yourself. So find out what the pain is and get rid of that and things should change. One scource of the trouble could be a unusually tough hyman one that is partially broken and needs to be seen about by a doctor.

I'm goin to the doctors again tomarrow to see what the problem is. They have not found the problem yet. But ya thats true idon't really like doing that becuz my family is ashamed of me, so i don't feel like i could totaly enjoy. I'm always thinking that my family would find out, then what would they say.

I agree wholly with Chery. Remember have a relationship is not one sided. Have your partner go with you to the doctor and maybe he will be able to understand that there really is a problem and that he can help you. Why is your family ashamed of you? Have you tried orally? Remember slow WILL win the race. Luke

You will just have to keep trying all of the different ways and see what works. I know being on top is the only thing that works for me. Or perhaps you just need to quit stressing over it and maybe it will happen. Don't think about it as much and just kind of let nature take its course.

my family expect perfection from our family, so there ashamed if anything like this happenes at a young age. Yes we've tryed oral, we've try'd all the ways, nothing works

Look, I really don't think a regualr doctor visit is necessary... I sincerely doubt your "orgasm-maker" is broken. If anything, you need to speak with a counselor, someone that can help you relax and focus on the right things in life.

You and your boyfriend should just back off the sexual side for a bit and focus on other things in your relationship. Fool around here and there if you must but don't approach every sexual experience with the thought, "Will I be able to do it this time??" That anxiety is killing you and is very likely the cause of your situation (note: I did not call it a "problem"). In the meantime, learn your body... get comfortable with yourself. The more sexually comfortable you can be, they easier you will be able to relax and the less anxious you will be.

I'm goin to the doctors again tomarrow to see what the problem is. They have not found the problem yet. But ya thats true idon't really like doing that becuz my family is ashamed of me, so i don't feel like i could totaly enjoy. I'm always thinking that my family would find out, then what would they say.

Hello? Is your family in bed with you?? You probably have been told all your life what to do and what to feel and when. Stop this crap, stop wasting money on doctors, and relax and enjoy life! Life, not just sex is the key here - and it seems like you've focused on just this one subject for so long that it is making you sick and a victim of what others want you to achieve instead of what you want. Believe it or not, there are actually some women that don't have orgasms and still enjoy sex, but have to 'fake' it so that the man thinks he's the greatest. This, if a man really loves you and knows your body well, can be felt by him - again only if he's in-tuned with you and cares, because a women swells up, muscles twitch, and lubricates also during orgasm. It's just that most macho men don't notice this because they are too involved with what they get out of it. Also when men are not sensitive enough with oral sex, it can be painful and you might not like it or they don't find the right spot - but you put up with it anyway, making you dry up because it no longer excites you. So leave it alone for a while, stop trying so hard to please everyone else except for yourself. And tell your family to mind their own business. You are a independent young woman, not a child anymore, so act like it. Wishing you a lot of fun in life, and you'll get there sexually when YOU are ready, until then, enjoy everything else around you too.

my family expect perfection from our family, so there ashamed if anything like this happenes at a young age. Yes we've tryed oral, we've try'd all the ways, nothing works There you go thinking of your 'family' expectations again. If they are not in bed with you, and they should not be, they have no business knowing anything at all about your sexuality. Just make sure that your female organs are OK through regular OB/GYN checkups, and start enjoying life. Later when wanting a family, and having problems there - that's when you should worry and see a specialist. I think the main problems is that you try too hard to please everyone else and are not thinking about yourself. It's now time to think of #1, and that's you. If you feel you need to talk to someone but are worried about your family, there are groups to join and they cannot reveal your issues - not even to parents. Again, good luck dear.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_14_18.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN)Give yourself time to blossum!

Thank you everyone thats right, i do thing and try to please everyone else but myself, i don't do many things for me to make me happy, my family controlled me that much. I'll also try to go c a councillor if it doesn't cost much. MY boyfriend and I will stop haveing sex till I'm actually finally ready, and feel fine with me, and happy with what I'm doin and who I am.

Thank you everyone thats right, i do thing and try to please everyone else but myself, i don't do many things for me to make me happy, my family controlled me that much. I'll also try to go c a councillor if it doesn't cost much. MY boyfriend and I will stop haveing sex till I'm actually finally ready, and feel fine with me, and happy with what I'm doin and who I am. Good Girl! - Be independent and think about yourself for a change, just imagine the change in you already - and have fun!

Keep us posted on your progress, and if there are any more positive feedback you need from us, let us know. Proud of you!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_30_125.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN)Learn to be yourself and also like it!
It's not going to be easy, but freedom never is - take it one day at a time and DON'T feel guilty!

I have the same problem,I have never had an orgasm and I'm 21,not for the lack of tryn I tell ye,I've tried absolutely everything and I cnt could there be sumting wrng are what,its really anniyn and frutrating

I had that problem with my ex boyfriend and I think it was because I didn't let my emotions out toward him. Now that I do with my boyfriend it is great!

Do I'm screwd basically till I find the "one" then ye ,dats crap I'm screwd so!

Its not that you are screwed until you find the right one... even when you find him, you may still have the same problem.

You may just need to learn to open yourself up. Allow yourself to feel. Get emotionally involved. Women require more emotional involvment/stimulation in sex than men, who require more physical involvment/stimulation.

Its usually a mental state. Like I advise most other people, you need to learn to do it yourself before you are likely to do it with anyone else. This can really help you get over the anxiety usually associated with this.

Ye but I'm always masturbating and I've tried vibrtors and all,evn d rompant rabbit frm ann sommers don't wrk like? its v embarresin but when I used d rabbit I act thought omg I'm goina and instead I peed lke what d ****s wrng wit me ye know?

Did it smell like pee? Odds are you weren't actually peeing. It likely was an orgasm. It may be a lot of fluid but don't let that fool you. Female ejaculation is pretty common among women, though most have a hard time doing it. It is a more intense orgasm than most women experience.

ye but im always masturbating n iv tried vibrtors n all,evn d rompant rabbit frm ann sommers dnt wrk like??its v embarresin but wen i used d rabbit i act thought omg im goina and instead i peed lke wat d ****s wrng wit me ye knw??

Dear Flynn, welcome to the forum. Please check the Index and find where you can 'introduce' yourself so that you can be welcomed properly. This forum is one of the best forums you can find, and we'd like to keep it that way. Especially by not interrupting someone else's post and start a new one, even on the same subject, that's OK.

But you don't have exactly the same problem as this young lady does, and I'm sure that she (and may of us here) are not used to the 'chat shorthand' that you have been using. Did you know that there is a spell checker on here? Please be kind enough to use it when possible, so that everyone will understand you. Believe it or not, I have a handy and I don't even use the SMS, as it is pretty childish to me and I like the proper English language just fine, which can be used without brash words too.

Now that I've had my say, hope you don't feel too offended, I hope will will enjoy this forum as we all do and that we can benefit from your input also. Have a good One!

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Hi me and my boyfriend have been datting for a few years and been haveing sex for a year and a half, but for some reson i have never had an orgasim before and it's bugging me that i haven't. We have tryed many sites, and positions, and many shows that they show on tv, for helping people with sex stuff. There is nothing that i no of that can help me. Can anyone send me any information or tips on anyway u can help me and b/f
plz contact me on this site or at my email- [email protected]
thank you

I want u to finger yr self using two fingers. Use your middle finger and another finger and insert in there as deep as u can and rise it up and u will feel a lump, it is where the MAIN G SPOT is, about the size of a coin and start rubbing it fast and will have the best orgasm

Your 16 going on 17... your too young to be worried about this... maybe the problem is not your body but your mind. You just might not be comfurtable or ready for all this...

ok thank you for ur suggestions, i will try the finger thing and stuff. And that 21 year old is right, after trying everything u can think of it gets really annoying, and it makes u angry. So far after my break there has been nothing that changed, the only thing is the time i really wanted to have sex with him and i did it my way. It did not hurt. .....But i still didn't have an orgasim

I have a similar problem, I'm really new to this... please help

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/orgasim-shmorgasim-87957.html


:o :confused: