EX-Factor
Dec 21, 2007, 02:15 AM
It’s been nearly 7 years and counting since my ex walked out of my life. It’s been a really long heart breaking road to travel. But I did it. I think I have survived me! But, something keeps me still missing him. I find myself on AOL message where I still have him on my buddy list and since I can still see him, he has not blocked me as he blocked me from everything else in his life. I sometime wish he would block me and then I would never have access to him. But I don’t have the heart to ask him to do that and I certainly cannot do it.
I don’t log on often, just once in a while but very rarely talk to him. Its crazy, but oddly it makes me feel better to know that he is some where out there. I keep wondering why has he still has me on his buddy list? Why has he not blocked me? He never msg’s me at all. I know he can see me when I log on as I can see him.
The break up was really very traumatic. And I hold myself totally responsible for it. But I tried everything in the world but I could not change his mind. Now I am left wondering why has he still left access for me to contact him? When ever I do message him which is probably once a year or so, he dose respond back. But its very brief and to the point. Why has he not blocked me?
We both moved on, both of us are married. And I am not unhappy with my husband, but sadly my love for my ex runs too deep :( and I so wish I could forget him, but so far its been a losing battle. I don't think we could ever get back together, not because I don't want to. I would give my life to have him back but our life has GONE toward TWO different path which cannot be changed, even if he wanted to which I know he don't and I am not foolish enough to think he will ever come back... even though my stupid heart sometime lets me down... well often lets me down and has me reminiscing about him in a tragic way which makes me very sick for days.
Why dose he still have me on his buddy list? Oh why oh why?
I don’t log on often, just once in a while but very rarely talk to him. Its crazy, but oddly it makes me feel better to know that he is some where out there. I keep wondering why has he still has me on his buddy list? Why has he not blocked me? He never msg’s me at all. I know he can see me when I log on as I can see him.
The break up was really very traumatic. And I hold myself totally responsible for it. But I tried everything in the world but I could not change his mind. Now I am left wondering why has he still left access for me to contact him? When ever I do message him which is probably once a year or so, he dose respond back. But its very brief and to the point. Why has he not blocked me?
We both moved on, both of us are married. And I am not unhappy with my husband, but sadly my love for my ex runs too deep :( and I so wish I could forget him, but so far its been a losing battle. I don't think we could ever get back together, not because I don't want to. I would give my life to have him back but our life has GONE toward TWO different path which cannot be changed, even if he wanted to which I know he don't and I am not foolish enough to think he will ever come back... even though my stupid heart sometime lets me down... well often lets me down and has me reminiscing about him in a tragic way which makes me very sick for days.
Why dose he still have me on his buddy list? Oh why oh why?