My ex-wife and I have 2 children. Since our divorce she has moved out of state and I do not know where my chilren are. I have not seen or talked to them in over a year. I pay my child support on time every week. The court systems will not help me, I've already tried. Instead of dealing with this for 14 more years, I would rather give up my rights to the children.

You cannot relinquish your parental rights unless the mother is in agreement and has someone, like a spouse, to adopt the children in your place.

And what do you think giving up your rights will accomplish? If you had taken the time to read the many other threads on this this issue, you would have learned it is very hard to relinquish one's parental rights. Generally it is only granted when there is someone waiting to adopt. It is never granted just to get you out of payng child support.

You say you pay your support on time. Who do you pay it to if you don't know where they are? At the time of the divorce was a custody and visitation agreement put into place. If so and your ex moved without permission then she is in violation of a court order and the court should be able to do something about that. Someone knows where she is to get the support to her.

Hello carol:

I'm sorry you're a quitter. Kids don't need parents who quit on them. Maybe they're better off without you. I don't know.

Me?? I love my kids. I can't imagine how anybody could just give them up... But that's me...

You say the courts aren't any help, but I have the feeling that you didn't use them. Actually, I KNOW you didn't use them. What?? You think you can fool us?? When your ex moved out of state, you didn't go to court to stop her, did you?? You could have. Then your kids would be right down the block.

But no, you just want to snivel...

By the way, if you're NOT getting ANY of your rights, why would you need to give them up?? Doesn't make sense to me... But, I've been here long enough to figure out what people like you REALLY mean when they talk about giving up their rights.

What they REALLY mean is that they don't want to pay child support. Isn't that what you REALLY want?? You're unable to even tell US the truth, and you don't even know us.

Nahhh, your kids are better off without you... But, you're still going to be paying, and that makes me happy.

excon

Giving up rights simply means that you give up the right to make decisions regarding the health and welfare of your children. It does not exempt you from child support.

Say one of your children may have to have an extremely rare medical procedure, but you find another less costly, less invasive treatment that will have the same results. Should you terminate your rights you would not be a part of the decision making process. Yet you would still be responsible for child support, and possibly medical bills.

Please don't give up on your kids, they are your flesh, and don't deserve to be deserted.

Caroloway... keep on making those payments that is one less thing your kids will be bitter over. Someday they will say you know at least he cared if I had food or not.

If you really want to get in court with your ex. Miss a few payments and see what happens. I bet she will surface.

carolway07 disagrees: I honestly don't even know if my kids are alive. How would you sleep at night?

First of all, let me point you to as to how to use the comments feature

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-help/using-comments-feature-official-guidelines-24951.html

And, dear, how do you know I haven't been in your shoes? How do you know I have not had to deal with the same situation? You don't, therefore you cannot disagree with my comments.

Also, as a medical professional, I have seen this before. I have seen a parent who gave up rights only to regret it later when they could not save their child because they no longer had the right to voice a choice and/or opinion as to the treatment of their child.

First you are not using the courts properly, you get your attorney and file in court to have your child custody modified ( unless it is already there) part of almost any child custody agreement is that the other parent supply you a address to visit ( and also they can't move out of state without your permission)

But on the address, you file in court to have her found in contempt for not providing you a address.

As J_9 pointed you're your use of the Rate this Answer button was not in keeping with the guidelines for its use.

As Chuck has pointed out you are not using the courts properly. You need an attorney to help you deal with the legal system. Your attorney can have the court order the state agency to give up the info. And that bit about her getting a continuance without notifying you is total garbage. The only time a court issues a continuance is at a hearing. You would have to be represented at that hearing. Even if a judge issued a continuance prior to a hearing, you or your attorney would have to have been notified of the new court date.

So what I see here is someone wallowing in self pity but not doing a lot about it. And then asking for help, then ignoring the good advice you get. Not only ignoring it but striking back at the people trying to help you.

The bottomline here is you will not be able to abandon your children and get out of your parental responsibility. The courts won't allow it. So if you trulywant to be a part of your kids lives you will fight within the court system to do so.

OK, for all of you that would like to judge me because I asked a question, let me explain further. Yes, I can prove I pay my child support! I would not stop paying my child support for any reason. I did try to take her to court but she informed the court that she was trying to hire an attorney so they continued it, AGAIN. I have been to the child support office and they refuse to give out her address. I have looked online, talked to her family, have had her served court papers but at her dads house (not her address) because I don't know where it is. So if anyone would like to help with any ideas instead of thinking that I am a deadbeat, I am interested in helpful advice not criticism

Hello again, carol:

You need a lawyer. I don't know if its been said, but maybe we need to spell things out to you. They know how to work the courts. You don't. It would be nice if you could, but you can't. The situation you find yourself in is PROOF of your INABILITY to get what YOU want from the court. It ISN'T proof that the courts don't help.

When I said above that I know you didn't use the courts, it's because NO court in this great country of ours would let a mother move out of state as long as there is an involved father. The court only needed to be asked to intervene. You didn't ask.

That's what they do. ALL of us here know that.

Hire a lawyer. Yes, I know you don't have money sitting around. I also know that lawyers take payments.

excon