My ex-wife and I split up 7 years ago. Neither one of us has ever had another serious relationship since then.

It happened after our child was born. His mom wanted to be more than just a housewife, saying that she felt trapped and was not happy with her life. I no longer fit her plan.

She had a history of counseling for panic/anxiety attacks and depression, and the divorce was her way out of the depression. I had no say in the matter, and was caught totally off guard.

She offered no chance for marital counseling, or any possibility of anything other than her decision. Anything else that I tried, I became the bad guy for just not letting it be.

Since then my world has not even come close to anything that I thought it would be.

I miss her, and the relationship. I am very involved with my child, but long for the days before the divorce, and would still like to work on the relationship. I have not given it up after all of this time.

I don't think she would be willing to try. She has not been willing to consider it at all in the past. I have been rejected so many times and it is probably stupid to still wish.

She tells me that I deserve to be happy, and that I should look for someone else, but I don't see anyone out there that comes close to what I thought of her.

I know that she tells our child about fun things we did together in the past so that she does remember them.

I wonder if I have done all I can, but I still struggle to accept it as final. You might say I'm still in love with her.

It's not just the holiday blues setting in. This has been going on a long long time for me, but I don't want to be an obnoxious pest to her either.

I keep trying to figure out if I can do anything to get her to reconsider, or change her mind. A new and well paying job, more sophistication on my part, a declaration of my unending love, and all types of stuff like that.

My question is if anyone knows of any similar situation with a positive outcome? What might it take to make it happen?

I know I will probably hear that I should move on with my life, forget her, that I'm stupid for banging my head against the wall so to speak, and all that, but I've heard all that before. I'm not ready to let it go. Though I do accept that nothing I do may ever change things.

After all this time, getting back together with her is not likely. But, hey, nothing is impossible. I know two couples who did get back together. Neither had positive outcomes. If you do win her back, be sure that the circumstances are different. You cannot change her. So, work on you.

Do everything that you can think of to more completely understand why she felt the way she did. Talk to single moms who are raising babies alone, with no car. Find single dads and ask them too. I'm sure that there is more to it than you no longer fitting her plans. You may have some idea what that is. In any case, don't drive her crazy telling her what you're trying to do. Be polite, courteous and situationally specific. Tell your friends how you feel. If you don't feel as if you have enough understanding friends or that your friends "understand all too well", go find some new ones. Join a support group. Get a part-time job helping out at a daycare. Talk to everyone you meet there. Find out what their challenges are. Really listen to what others are saying. Try new activities, see how you react. Keep a journal of your activities and feelings. Analyze your words later. Read like crazy. Read about women, about relationships, about sex, about divorce... Learn and grow.

I think it's perfectly OK to wish for the woman of your dreams, to have her back. But do not cut yourself off from other people or from life. If she comes back to you, give her the best you, you can. Do all of your homework, but do not show off. A new job or more sophistication may be something she would like to see, but you have to do it for yourself.

I disagree with the previous poster, and think you should get professional help to show you how to let go and let live, and make a independent happy life, for yourself.