I have read a lot of problems and querys here and I just guess I need to share my experience it's a long one

About two years ago I worked in a hotel and I use to always flirt a little bit but anyway one day in early January 2005 I kissed a girl on the cheek harmless and I might have kissed other girls on the cheek but as I say it was just a peck, anyway about a half and hour later she came over to me in the kitchen and asked me to kiss her again and I did but just as I did she asked me to kiss her on the lips, and I did and walked away then she followed me into the staff hall and sat beside me and kept giving me sexy looks.

I was a bit embarrassed and she was 24 I was 43 anyway that night I was going home I was in the changing room and she knocked on the door and I didn't open it I knew for some reason it was her so I was going away on holidays for a few weeks and as I was walking down the stairs she opened the door and asked me to come in for a second when I did she said I will miss you when I go on holidays and the eventual happened and we kissed

I should say at this time she has a boyfriend and I went on my holidays she rang me nearly every day and when I came back the romance started I guess anyway I had to be careful she had a fella, of course she was moody and would be angry the odd time and working together didn't help,

So w kept it up for a while and she wanted me to move with her but this was only when she had a row with him I know he use to beat her up so I guess it continued and she would go home at night to her fella and I would go my way then in 2006 she was deported from the job she was a romanian I didn't know but anyway it turned our one of her room mates had spilt the beans, I never heard from her in that year even though I tried to communicate with her, she never got in contact until one day on Yahoo messenger she came on and said hi
She told me she was working in Italy which was lie but she did get back to my country and after a month back got in touch with me even though she said she had only arrived back two days previous, when she was deported her fella eventually went back to her, so when she came back I was surprised she had come back with him again even though he had beaten her up.
She rang me one day and asked me to meet her which I did, anyway I did and met her again after that she told me her fella had changed and I said well I'm happy that you worked it out even though I had feelings for her, she asked me to help her get a job which I helped with a few weeks later she told me that she couldn't live with him anymore and that she wanted me and now new she had made a big mistake we would meet and the whole thing started up again

So I tried to help her get a job which I did but after a few weeks his cousin who was living with her reported her to the job that she was illegal and she was sacked seems to be a thing with Romanian people jealousy I didn't know, so I got her another job, anyway after the second job I got her she changed her brother came over to try and get a job and she was more I thought aggressive but not as in physical she would look down on you she could never say thanks even though I did a lot for her it wasn't that I lent her money ,anyway one day we had a row and I left a message on her phone saying I would report her for working here and she got really annoyed and told me never to contact her again so she eventually decided she had to move out of her house everything was for the brother she wanted a place near were he was going to get a job even though he didn't have a job

So since this all happened sh got a apartment but has not moved out yet cause she wants to do it when her fella is not there and she asked me would I helo her move and I said I don't think it would be appropriate because he could be in the area etc and she got real thick that I didn't congratulate her on getting an apartment , so we had a row and I got up and walked out of pub and she was behind me walking back to work and I asked her who her boss was I was going to report her , well I wouldn't and I didn't but she just had a way of pissing you off and everything was her her her she never ask you how you were getting on later that day she sent me a text that enough was enough and never to contact her again which she had said before its over a week now but I must say even after all the I miss her hoping she will ring or text, what would you do I know your going to say move on but its hard , any views :cool:

Just my own opinion, but I would feel that I was being used in such a situation. Doesn't mean I wouldn't do the same as you have, but realistically with nearly 20 years difference in age, I don't know what, besides financial resources, she is after. It would be nice if it were the affection and open communication stuff, but from what you have written it seems like you are her seurity blankey... something that she uses for her comfort. She has lied a number of times that you mentioned, so can you really be sure that her brother is really a brother?

Do what you want to, and hope what you will, but I would look for less troubling waters for your kindness.

Yeah I know now it is her brother

But don't u think its bad shehas a fella and goes home every day and doesn't even blink

I think she would do it on anyone

I agree with you, and that is why I think you are being used. Her fella might even be OK with it? I don't know, but would not want to be in your role, getting the treatment you have from her.

Your actions might make you feel good and hopeful for something down the road, but my opinion is that she will only give you heart ache. You don't need to deal with someone who is not showing any appreciation for you. You owe her nothing.

Good grief dude, you either love drama, or a glutton for punishment. I'd be long gone and never look back.

A glutton for punishment.

I just got this message from her :


Hi! How are you ? Hope you are good ? I really regret what happened to us but that's life , right.

I'd tell her that's life with her, so enjoy hers without you!

Do not respond.