Ok I am 18 y/o and I lost my virginity almost a year ago. I've had sex a hand full of times with a few different chicks but no matter what I do not feel anything. The chicks liked it because I could last for 2+ hours but I don't enjoy it. I have had conversations with my friends about sex and according to them it felt good/great.

I can pleasure myself but no matter what they did I felt nothing... even head.

Any advice would be awesome.

Do you take any kind of medication or alcohol?
Emotionally, do you prefer men?
Do you think of sex as work?
Did you have a strict religious upbringing?

Yah I did have a strict religious upbringing.. my father(who died on Aug 14,2003) brought me up as a Jehovah's Witness, and they believe in no sex till marriage and not even dating till ready to marrie.

You are not allowing yourself to relax. right now it's just a guilty act.

I have to add this question: When you fantasize/pleasure yourself - what/whom do you think about?

Next:

I would recommend doing something you DO enjoy.. and build.

1) kissing?
2) fondling?
3) lying together?
4) holding hands?

Intercourse may be a bit soon for you in your relationship.

JW's have a reputation for, I don't want to say this in an insensitive way, JW's have a reputation for having a higher instance of child molestation in their denomination than some other Christian sects. In addition, JW's have a reputation for protecting the molesters.

Were you ever molested?

If the answer is yes, I would recommend that you see a therapist as molestation is a very serious matter. The molested child has to reveal all the darkest memories of these events in order to decrease the power of the memory of these events.

As for the religious message you received about sex, those messaged could be blocking your sexual response.

If a person has any kind of block... it is better to get professional help sooner before the problem becomes too entrenched.

Beat wishes to you,

For Ash I fantasize about doing stuff with girls that I know from school, work, or other friends.

And for CHoux, I've never been molested, but I can see what you mean with the "block" from the religious message.

So wait till marriage, having sex with a handfull of different girls during a year is not healthy anyway. Sex should come with a long relastionship where there is attachment and emotional ties.

I would bring that pleasure into your relationship....when you are ready...in other words that relaxed state of self-indulgence...maybe she can just watch to start.

Anyway, if you get no real pleasure from your own "attentions" while thinking about girls at work that is a medical/mental issue. If you do, that is a good start. If not, see a doc. It could be meds or deep-set hang-ups...

As always there is no rush in matters of intimacy etc.

a healthy successful life is an aphrodysiac! really.

All right thanks to all