View Full Version : Should I let my children explore religion?
connie-mom
Dec 9, 2007, 01:31 PM
Hello my name is connie and I have 3 kids. My daughter who is 3 wants to go to church so does my 6 year old son... But I am neither chirstien or anything else I was never raised around religion So what do I do I am not into the whole church thing its not that I am a non beliver but I like to do my thanks to the things that deserve it! And I have no idea about anything in the bible so please no quoting I really won't get what it is supposed to mean sorry. But I would really like to know what you think and why you pray to god and what church means to you?
Fr_Chuck
Dec 9, 2007, 01:39 PM
You can't really stop them, OK you can say no, but they will talk to friends, read material and so on. With that many families send their kids to Sunday school and church but don't go. Most of the larger churches have buses that will pick the kids up and bring them back.
connie-mom
Dec 9, 2007, 01:47 PM
I do understand what you are saying but there are no busses where we live to pick up kids for church and most kids in this town don't go to church so you don't really hear about it too much.. there are also about 6-7 churches in this small town so which do I send them to? Do I need to be a christien or what ever else church things out there ( sorry for the lingo but not to shure what to call the other church people) I really don't know what to do at this point.
savedsinner7
Dec 9, 2007, 01:52 PM
I would just ask God very simply "please show me what you want me to do. I don't know how to handle this situation. If you lead me, I will follow." Then let Him show you what church to take the kids to. You don't have to know everything, just take them and let God do the work.
To me, church is a place where I am welcome, I find strength, friendship, fellowship, comfort, I can learn, I can worship, I can grow. I prayed for six months or so before going to the church I am with. God will answer if you ask.
Nurturer
Dec 9, 2007, 02:07 PM
Hello my name is connie and I have 3 kids. My daughter who is 3 wants to go to church so does my 6 year old son .....But I am neither chirstien or anything else I was never raised around religion So what do I do I am not into the whole church thing its not that I am a non beliver but I like to do my thanks to the things that deserve it!! And I have no idea about anything in the bible so please no quoting I really wont get what it is suposed to mean sorry. but I would really like to know what you think and why you pray to god and what church means to you?
Hi Connie,
This is quite a sensitive subject and I can feel your sincerity in your words. I must also compliment you on your honesty as well. You mentioned that you do not go to church or read the bible, however you said you are not an unbeliever and you also asked why pray to God. Very good question.
God made the earth , he made us ,humans , he also provided us with food, sunlight , rain , all the different seasons . He gave us food in variety, with taste buds to enjoy the food we eat. He gave us eyes to see, not only in black and white but in color. We really do not need taste buds or to see in color to be alive! This shows how much he loves us and cares for us.
Besides have taken a good look at a beautiful sunset? How awesome is it? His power and greatness is seen in the wind, the stars, moon and sun! Do you think that a being that Awesome, Powerful and Great should be praised? If you believe then teach your children to love him, pray to him and respect and worship him . He is God Almighty and he deserves to to praised.
I hope that I have shed some light on your concern and please feel free to ask more questions if you think I have helped you. Thank you for your honesty and love.
The Nurturer
Fr_Chuck
Dec 9, 2007, 02:11 PM
What nation do you live in? And how large is your town, the reason I ask is that even in a town of 5000 people there were over 60 churches in places I have lived, in a town of perhaps 1000 you may only have 10 or less churches. Unless you live in a community where everyone is almost one faith, like 90 percent catholic, or anglican or something.
But believe me, if they want to go, any good church could or would make arrangements for them to go.
So what are your religious beleirfs, state them and perhaps we can narrow down what religion you fit into better.
lobrobster
Dec 9, 2007, 03:51 PM
Hello my name is connie and I have 3 kids. My daughter who is 3 wants to go to church so does my 6 year old son .....But I am neither chirstien or anything else I was never raised around religion So what do I do I am not into the whole church thing its not that I am a non beliver but I like to do my thanks to the things that deserve it!! And I have no idea about anything in the bible so please no quoting I really wont get what it is suposed to mean sorry. but I would really like to know what you think and why you pray to god and what church means to you?
First, let me say that I think kids should be exposed to all all kinds of different beliefs and customs and arrive at their own conclusion about the world as they get older.
This won't be a popular answer here, but I'm very much against the brainwashing of little children in the ways of any one religion. Just as they're too young to know whether they subscribe to a democrat or republican point of view, they're also too young to know whether they should suscribe to a Christian, Jewish, Islamic, (or hopefully), secular points of view.
Think about it... Kids are naturally gullible. They don't have a choice when parents bring them up to believe their beliefs. So I would suggest exposing your kids to all different religions and letting them sort it out when they're older. My kids know that I'm a non-believer. But they also know that I want them to think for themselves. If in the end, they decide they want to believe in God, that's fine by me. As long as they thought it through themselves and don't believe things just because someone said it's true. This is what I'm doing with my kids and they seem happier for it.
lobrobster
Dec 9, 2007, 04:07 PM
We really do not need taste buds or to see in color to be alive! This shows how much he loves us and cares for us. The Nurturer
I know you mean well, but this just makes me wince! I take it you don't believe in that far fetched little scientific theory called evolution, right? The earth is only 10,000 years old, and our species didn't descend from other species. There are very good evolutionary reasons we have taste buds and see in color!
To Connie:
This is precisely the problem I have with subjecting young children to religion! Do you really want your kids growing up to be ignorant with respect to science and the real world around them? Don't you want them to be successful in their careers, etc. By the time they are adults the world will require that they be well versed in science and how things really work. Dogmatic religion often promotes just the opposite.
connie-mom
Dec 9, 2007, 04:47 PM
That is my exact problem I do not have a religion... and I do look at things rationaly (not to say others don't who believe god gave us all this) but my problem with god and the aspect he was some kind of superhuman person. I know some things I have to say might be touchy and some of it might be a huge misunderstanding but this is why I need to know these things I would like to be able to be behind my kids in their search for the right religion but not knowing anything about it its hard for me to point them in the right direction so here are my question and ten reasons I need peoples help in understanding things.
1st I do not believe we all came from addam and eve (that would mean insest)
2nd I do believe in a guy who did wonderful things(god)
3rd I do believe in same sex couples as some animals in the wild do the same thing.(pigmi apes)
4th I do not believe god was a virgin when he died too much evidence that he was with that girl marry something.
5th I do not believe he had magical powers as later in years the church did witch hunts and killed a lot of innocent people accused of doing magic.
6th If he is so almighty why does he kill the innocent and leave the bad people?
7th If god died for our sins then why did the church sin after he died for them? (pretaining to the witch hunts,child assults and other offences against people) and why do they still allow it to happen?
8th If drinking and gambeling is so wrong then why does he gamble in people lives and why did they drink wine?
9th if murder is wrong why did he kill all those people during the red river thing with the plague and all that?
10th if god was so upset with our behaviour and sent a flood to wipe out the bad why did and how did the bad continue and why did his followers do bad things to each other?
connie-mom
Dec 9, 2007, 04:51 PM
To fr-chuck I live in canada in a small minning town we don't even have a proper doctoer here that is about 45 min drive away.. so yha only 7-8 churches and I have no idea which one to go to they do not advertise or ask for people to come to their church mostly they just keep going with the family who have lived here for years and keep going but I am so not a churchey person so they don't go near me.
connie-mom
Dec 9, 2007, 05:57 PM
I was hopeing for this for my children but a so called friend took my children to a youth group run by the church and my kids want to go back
... I am not to sure what kind of church it is or what they do but they really liked it and wants to go back what would you segest there?
And how do you teach prayer and worship with no god or higher power?
I really do hope for something else as I lost one of my children (she died at birth) she was a stillborn and is my reason I have so much problem beleaving in a god who kills little children
.. and why I feel so confused about my other children going to a church. Do I allow it why should I allow it ?should I let then decide what do I do? And how do I go about doing it?
lobrobster
Dec 9, 2007, 06:06 PM
I was hopeing for this for my children but a so called friend took my children to a youth group run by the church and my kids want to go back...I am not to sure what kinda church it is or what they do but she really liked it and wants to go back what would you segest there?
I'm not sure who you're asking, but I see nothing wrong with letting them go if they enjoy it. Again, I'm not ANTI-Christian! I just think that if they explore one custom or religion, it would be nice to expose them to others as well.
But if they like it, I say what's the harm? You're still their parent and the biggest influence on their life right now. My own kids go to religious school. My ex-wife is adament that they make their first communion and get confirmed. I'm fine with that. But I have a very good relationship with my kids. They talk to me and they're very smart. When my daughter was 7, she already wanted to know how Adam could've preceded Eve if babies come from mommies! I was soooo proud of her! Now that's a smart kid!
Today, I don't think she believes most things in the bible (she's 11 now). But she enjoys religious school and I have no problem with it. I always tell her, "Just think for yourself!". As long as she does that, I'm fine with whatever her world view turns out to be.
connie-mom
Dec 9, 2007, 06:20 PM
Thanks for the help I was so confused as to what to do
I know its harsh to point fingers but all religion have some kind fault with them I really like to think in a scientific way and believe in facts not fiction.
But to say to my daughter and son if god is so great why did he let you sister die? To me is just as bad on my part. There is no facts on whether there is a god or afterlife but it helped me at one point in my life dealing with my hurt to point a finger at this god figure and post blame.
I am still not to sure on what to do fully or how to get them in to a church group with out going myself but I hope to figure that out in time they are still bent on going and I don't want to stop them but what other options do I have I don't know of any other groups like church. Aah so annoyed with myself I should have done some looking into this as a teenager when my son was young.
John in Montana
Dec 9, 2007, 06:25 PM
By all means let your children go... Just a quick note for you and me... God loves us first... just as a parent you love your children... then he went one step further... his one and only son Jesus died on the cross so that you and I (sinners) may be saved... What great news... and where can you hear the Word of the Lord? In church... Go and listen to the word and the good News that we sinners have hope when we put our trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! Have a Nice Day !
lobrobster
Dec 9, 2007, 06:29 PM
But to say to my daughter and son if god is so great why did he let you sister die? to me is just as bad on my part.
I'm very sorry for your loss. And I agree it's not a good idea to turn your kids against god. I hope you don't think I'm suggesting that. As rational thinking adults, we question how a loving god can allow innocent children to suffer and die, etc. (also a big reason I'm a non-believer). In time, I'm sure your kids will see it too. But for now, they're too young to be bothered with such confusing and mixed signals about their sister. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss. It must be hard. But you sound strong, which is good for your kid's sake.
connie-mom
Dec 9, 2007, 06:39 PM
Thanks so much We do love to go for walk as I am a huge animal lover and I do respect all things in life which is my other problem with church I respect all types of people no matter colour,race ,beliefs, life mistakes,sexual orientation its life and life has a way of revealing beauty in all you just have to look with unaffected eyes to see.
But yes we will sit down and talk about how thing went,me and the kids have a very open relationship we talk about everything.. which is how I found out about heir wanting to go and we did discuss things but not knowing anything about religion it was hard for me to answer their questions.
But thank you you have helped out so much.
connie-mom
Dec 9, 2007, 06:44 PM
By all means let your children go...Just a quick note for you and me...God loves us first...just as a parent you love your children...then he went one step further...his one and only son Jesus died on the cross so that you and I (sinners) may be saved...What great news...and where can you hear the Word of the Lord? In church...Go and listen to the word and the good News that we sinners have hope when we put our trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ ! ! ! Have a Nice Day !
Ok I know this might sound dumb to you but why would he let his son be killed that makes him just as guilty to murder as the people who killed him and was it not the other god beleaving people who killed him? Not to sure on the details so help me out on this one so I am on the right track as to what you are trying to say. And if we are still sinners why did he die? I thought he died for our sins?
Fr_Chuck
Dec 9, 2007, 06:58 PM
This is why of course you need to go to church and do a bible study to find out why, and of course you don't have to accept to allow your children to believe, and you can't force your children to believe just because you do.
This is YOUR opinion which I would call wrong
All religion is based on some fiction, sorry no real fiction, that is only your opinon
And you are trying to justify God, he has his rules and ways, and to be honest does not need to justify, And making you believe is not going to happen until you want to find God. As long as you want to find him in science, don't waste you time, when you want to find him in faith, you want to find him because you know something is missing in your life and happiness then you will find him. When you realise science can't explain near everything that happens, and believe miricles do happen that science can't explain.
This is why children accept and find God much easier, because they can still believe in faith.
On Jesus death, remember Jesus rose from the dead, so why he experienced death he did not stay dead, So God the Father knew this and that his son was taking the suffering of the world, and was doing the final defeat of death for us.
John in Montana
Dec 9, 2007, 07:03 PM
It all started with sin... first sin was when Adam and Eve ate fruit of the tree... since that time we would all be deemed to hell... but NO... God had a plan... he sent his Son Jesus to save the world from sin... By his death on the cross he took our place so he intercedes for us to God... thus all we have to do is to truly believe that Jesus is our Lord and Savior..
savedsinner7
Dec 9, 2007, 07:32 PM
Connie, please check out these sites:
Not Religion! - Home (http://www.notreligion.com)
1-888-NEED HIM - Why Am I Here? What Makes My Life So Hard? Answers to Life's Greatest Questions (http://www.needhim.org)
connie-mom
Dec 9, 2007, 07:39 PM
He died and then came back to life? When and how and why?
"on Jesus death, remember Jesus rose from the dead, so why he experienced death he did not stay dead, So God the Father knew this and that his son was taking the suffering of the world, and was doing the final defeat of death for us"
And I have no idea what that is supposed to mean I have never read the bible and the one time I did go to a church I didn't understand what a... I don't know what its called but a kid got dunked in water was and laughed out loud and got into trouble.. I didn't understand what they were doing or saying so I thought it wa like a play or something and I thought it was the funny part I never thought in a million years they would put someone in a big water tank put a cloth over his face and dunk him..
I felt so bad after its was explained to me but I feel so uncomfortable in a church lol I was even going to be married in an out door meadow because I din't know anything about the whole god says its OK for you to be married thing so we had a guy who can marry people do a special wedding thing for us with our own vows.
I am not saying god is real or not real no one really knows for sure but its what church people believe in that I find hard to take in I have no problems with gay or lesbians I have no problem with any kind of race or anyone who worships anything if someone wants to worship the devil then it's their beliefs its kind of weird but hey to them god is weird so how can we judge others? Oh and I am totally not judgemental I take everything and see the good side but also try to see what could be different if it's a bad situation.
connie-mom
Dec 9, 2007, 07:45 PM
OK what tree and why was it bad t eat the fruit? Why would they go to hell for eatting fruit?
And he sent his son to keep us out of hell if we are good right?
Question if god is a virgin how did jesus come along who did he have a kid with to get a son?
Fr_Chuck
Dec 9, 2007, 07:46 PM
I am sorry what county do you live in, I am now believing this to be a joke, since anyone I know would know what a baptism is, being dunked in water, it is a sign that you have accepted Christ and a very serius time but one where you can be filled with joy also. Some denominations may yell and shout in joy, others are quiet and prayerful.
Again, we were not trying to convert you, only talk about the ability of your children to go to church.
The issue is you did not ask what was happening, if you don't understand you ask.
next not all churches have problems with gays and lesbians, now for others have problems with the sex aspest. For that it is a moral value issue.
Remember it is not judging, it is comparing their life to the rule book that God gave us, the bible. And no one can expect you to know what is right if you have not read it.
savedsinner7
Dec 9, 2007, 07:47 PM
OK what tree and why was it bad t eat the fruit? why would they go to hell for eatting fruit?
and he sent his son to keep us out of hell if we are good right?
question if god is a virgin how did jesus come along who did he have a kid with to get a son?
Connie, the answers you are looking for are in the sites I posted above. Please look.
Fr_Chuck
Dec 9, 2007, 07:49 PM
OK what tree and why was it bad t eat the fruit? why would they go to hell for eatting fruit?
and he sent his son to keep us out of hell if we are good right?
question if god is a virgin how did jesus come along who did he have a kid with to get a son?
Have no idea, bible tells us fruit, could be a banana, a apple or pear or some type of fruit not here today. It was bad because God said not to do it, a rule, limitation on what man can and can't do
No, we are good becaue we are suppose to be, we stay out of hell by accepting Christ as our savior,
Jesus was born from a women called Mary, God by his power made her pregnant without having sex. Mary being a virgin at birth is an accepted fact even by the muslims, it is that accepted as a fact.
Connie I would let them explor my mom never went to church but she believes in god. When my brother and I asked to go to church she took us there and picked us up. She always encouraged us to find our own truth. I went to all kinds of churches. I even explored into the pagens and even budisim a bit lol. I eventually desided that I couldn't believe any of it. My brother on the other hand believes and goes to church with his wife regularly. So my theroy is give them all the options and let them decide what they want to believe, because they will anyway but at least they will have all the options and all the sideds of the coin.
John in Montana
Dec 9, 2007, 07:53 PM
No, we don't go to heaven because of our good works... that sounds like something you and I would expect... But all of us are sinners and we sin daily. Thus it is through God's grace that he loves us... and sent his Son... His love is unconditional... Thats hard for us to comprehend...
connie-mom
Dec 9, 2007, 08:09 PM
OK this is no joke... I just have no understanding of church stuff and I know what a baptism is but could not remember what it was called.. growing up I was never told or talk to about god or church... I did at one point want to go to church but my mother forbid it and as a grew up and did a lot of science I grew to grow from the god factor..
I did go to the links and they were nice but I have no idea what they were talking about with salms and those number things I don't remember what they called them but it created so many question too.
Is mary the girl at the last supper or the manger christmas girl really confused there. I thought it was marry and joseph? And I really don't understand to whole magic thing I know some call it a miracel but its still magic but later the church killed people for doing supposed magic. Or am I wrong there too?
savedsinner7
Dec 9, 2007, 08:19 PM
Connie, if you go to BibleGateway.com: A searchable online Bible in over 50 versions and 35 languages. (http://www.biblegateway.com) you can type in the psalms numbers and find what it says.
Go here to learn more about Jesus Jesus Christ (http://www.jesuschrist.com/)
This is a Bible online you can listen to Audio Bible Online (http://www.audio-bible.com/bible/bible.html)
And if you go here, there is a short video you might like.nooma rain (http://www.nooma.com/Shopping/ProductDetails.aspx?ProductID=270&Mode=WMV&PMID=122)
This skit shows what God will do to try to reach us. GodTube.com - Please view the comments. Lifehouse Everything Skit. (http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5)
I hope you take the time to search these sites. Kelly
These are complicated questions, and for every answer one gives another will give an oposit. I usually don't talk about religion cause it starts up a long three hour lectuer that I don't want to hear. Basically If you read the bible it totally contridicts itself, some people say it doesn't but if you read it it does. And many people at least were I live use the "King James Version" lol which was literally his verision of what he thought the bible meant (I find that a laugh). I've had so many people try to explain why that it says one thing here and why it says the oposit there. But I came to realize first it's cause it was translated into english, and second people take it to mean what is right or convieniant for them. I myself don't believe, but I do happen to believe that religion is good for people that wouldn't be able to make it threw their lives without something to believe in. It is also good for teaching morals, which the youth of today need, but you can teach them that without beliving in god. Even though I don't believe I do believe that for some it is a good thing to have religion. And I believe that it is good for children to be able to chouse for themselves.
Choux
Dec 10, 2007, 02:53 PM
My opinion is that teaching a child religion is child abuse. That is probably a minority opinion on this board. There are lots of wonderful children's literature you can read to your children that would be so much better for them.
Angel_Wings
Dec 10, 2007, 10:29 PM
At first I was going to respond with hopefully helpful info.
After reading to the end, I do believe this person is not really interested in answers. 'Her' responses and glossing over of the help offered, only serve to keep the thread and the controversy going.
I believe in God.
I don't believe this thread is for real.
... hope this person gets the HELP they need!
JoeCanada76
Dec 10, 2007, 11:23 PM
I also agree with the above post. I was going to answer the question as well but after reading through I felt the same. This thread is not for real.
Joe
jillianleab
Dec 10, 2007, 11:57 PM
I don't know, Jesushelper and Angel; being an atheist myself (though I don't have kids) I can see being torn about what to do when your kids want to investigate religion. I can also see being torn and or hesitant because of the perceived inconsistencies in the bible (I know you don't see them that way, but others do).
I think it is wonderful to expose children to religion. It's important for kids to learn about the different cultures and belief systems in the world in order for them to understand others and be tolerant. Look at all the hate in the world because of people having different beliefs - if they bothered to learn about the other's faith, perhaps they would not be so angry and intolerant.
Since you said they went to a youth group event, I have to wonder if they are interested in church/god or if they just had fun playing with peers and doing whatever activities were at this event. If that's the case, maybe you can arrange some play dates for them at a local park (I'm assuming your kids are young) so they get the socialization. If they are expressing interest in religion, perhaps you can see what churches are in your area, and do some learning, with your kids, about those particular denominations. Tell them "these are the churches in town, and before we pick one to go to, let's learn a little about each one" and spend some time with library books or (credible) web research about each one. Don't forget to include other belief systems too; just because there is no Hindu temple doesn't mean they can't learn about it! This will be a good time for you and your kids to learn about the different faiths (or no faith, atheism) and decide what is right for each of you.
Is it possible for the friend who took them to the youth group program to take them to church, or to other programs? Your post indicated you are uncomfortable with this idea, so I defer to my original suggestion; spend time learning about ALL religions with your kids - that will help them make up their own minds, and might help answer your questions as well.
Beyond that, if you turn religion into a study session your kids might get turned off it forever! :p (KIDDING!! )
macksmom
Dec 11, 2007, 07:20 AM
I agree with Jillian.
My mother raised me in the Lutheran Church (still really don't know what that is), but while it gave me knowledge about the religion, it still didn't make me believe in it. But I think it was okay for her to do.
Now that I have a daughter my mother and I have bumped heads on certain issues. My mother assumed I would get my child baptized, because that is what she did to all of us. She was shocked when I said I wasn't doing it. I told her I don't believe in orginial sin and I cannot commit to raising her in the church, so why would I have her baptized?
But it's not just Christianity I don't involve her in. When I go to my meditation groups at a buddhist temple, I don't bring her. I don't push my beliefs on her either.
It is normal for her to ask about god, as it is a widespread belief. And I tell her what people believe. I believe a child should be educated on all beliefs, and have a good understanding of them. When my daughter is older, she can then decide what she believes in.
I would not refuse her anything just because of what I do or don't believe in.
If she asked to go to church, I would let her, and I would go with her if she wanted me to. If she wanted to be baptized, after learning the meaning behind it, then I would allow her to do so.
A person should not believe in a particular religion just because their parents did, and their parents parents did, etc.
I will allow my child to make the choice for herself, and I won't stand in the way of that.
NowWhat
Dec 11, 2007, 08:08 AM
I would imagine that your kids want to go back to church because they had fun when they were there. Yes, they are learning about things that you, yourself, may not fully understand. But to them, they just had fun.
What would be the harm in letting them go back? And it seems as if you have a ton of questions yourself. Maybe you could use this opportunity to learn something together.
Seek out the answers to all of these questions.
De Maria
Dec 11, 2007, 02:17 PM
Hello my name is connie and I have 3 kids. My daughter who is 3 wants to go to church so does my 6 year old son... But I am neither chirstien or anything else I was never raised around religion So what do I do
I believe that God gave you your children so you would care for them the best way you know how. It is really your call.
However, if you, personally want to know a bit more about Christianity, I can answer your questions from a Catholic perspective.
I am not into the whole church thing its not that I am a non beliver but I like to do my thanks to the things that deserve it!
I don't really understand that statement. The only response that comes to mind is that I feel the same way, except I believe God is He that deserves all thanks.
And I have no idea about anything in the bible so please no quoting I really won't get what it is supposed to mean sorry.
OK. Believe it or not, I understand the sentiment exactly. Been there.
but I would really like to know what you think
I think the children are yours, raise them up in a loving atmosphere, sacrifice for them and give yourself to them. This is what God asks of us, there is an old saying, "No one loves more than the one who gives his life for the one he loves." Give your children your life.
and why you pray to god
Because I owe Him so much. I awakened to the presence of God when my wife became pregnant with our first child. I realized that I had nothing to do with it. I mean, I had fun that night. I enjoyed every second of it. And then, a miracle.
Does anyone really believe that life happens by accident? I used to, then I realized, it simply can't. Only a super intelligence such as God could possibly make life come about.
And so I began to praise and thank God for ALL He had done for me.
and what church means to you?
At first, very little. Then, after I came back from atheism, I studied my Scriptures and Catholic doctrines and I realized that the Church is God's vicar on earth. She is God's mouthpiece. God speaks through Her to guide us through the dangers of life.
So, I began attending out of duty. Now, Church has become my extended family. People there have seen my children grow up, they love my children and look after them.
I hope that helps.
Sincerely,
De Maria