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View Full Version : Does this really love me?


sweetmelissa37
Nov 26, 2007, 01:50 PM
Ok here is my question, I have been living with my boyfriend who is 41 for the last 3 years I am 37. We have been together almost 4 yrs. Over the last year and a half, I have dealt with him becoming distant, chasing other women, (from a distance) and telling me how he wants to have sex with almost every woman he has met. Even our friends. When I get upset or question him about the subject later, he always tells me I am childish and insecure for being upset, tells me I am a nag, and that I can "*#%^ Off". He also states that he wouldn't as long as we are together and is scared of me doing something to him if he did, but I know he has cheated in the past.
Well, I think I have every right to be upset. I constantly hear about how great the ladies are at his work, and how he checks them out and can't even look them in the eye, how hot he thinks they are, how he would bang them if he wasn't with me etc... Well, as of two months ago, we moved into our own places, now he tells me he loves me but not in love with me. I decided to start seeing other people and he came back saying that he wanted to continue being boyfriend and girlfriend and did not want to see other peoplke. He has told me that he is going through a midlife crisis and he also has a drug problem and I want to help him but at what cost. I also know he is a big liar and acts like we are not together around his friends and coworkers.
I am deeply in love with him and don't want to lose him, but am starting to feel I am losing myself to go along with whatever he wants. Am I insecure and childish to be paranoid of the women around him when I know he is like a dog in heat? Do I even believe anything he says after being lied to so much and blamed for it? I really need someone else's opinion.

450donn
Nov 26, 2007, 02:48 PM
Lets face the facts. He is a drug addict. He is looking at all women as Sex objects. He is also probably looking at magazines and x rated movies too? Do you want to marry this creep? I think the best thing you could do for yourself is move out today! He is a sex and drug and verbally abusive addict. And unless he is willing to change, like all addicts of any sort will only drag you down with him. Next time, don't so anxious to have sex with a guy. Remember the adage, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

sweetmelissa37
Nov 27, 2007, 09:16 AM
Thanks for the opinion. I did however make him chase me for 1 year before having sex with him. Thought that was long enough. I value the opinion though and thanks again.

lerouxma
Nov 28, 2007, 08:26 PM
My ex-wife was an addict and verbly abusive. If he is an addict then the patern will not stop until he is clean. I went through this type of behaviour for over 6 years. Now she is gone and I have custody of both children. I thought I was losing my mind and I loved her even through all the addiction. It is still not easy, but you must be very careful and listen to your head and not your heart because your heart will always want to stay and have hope, your head will know what to do.

amylc
Nov 28, 2007, 08:35 PM
Ok here is my question, I have been living with my boyfriend who is 41 for the last 3 years I am 37. We have been together almost 4 yrs. Over the last year and a half, I have dealt with him becoming distant, chasing other women, (from a distance) and telling me how he wants to have sex with almost every woman he has met. Even our friends. When I get upset or question him about the subject later, he always tells me I am childish and insecure for being upset, tells me I am a nag, and that I can "*#%^ Off". He also states that he wouldn't as long as we are together and is scared of me doing something to him if he did, but I know he has cheated in the past.
Well, I think I have every right to be upset. I constantly hear about how great the ladies are at his work, and how he checks them out and can;t even look them in the eye, how hot he thinks they are, how he would bang them if he wasn't with me etc... Well, as of two months ago, we moved into our own places, now he tells me he loves me but not in love with me. I decided to start seeing other people and he came back saying that he wanted to continue being boyfriend and girlfriend and did not want to see other peoplke. He has told me that he is going through a midlife crisis and he also has a drug problem and I want to help him but at what cost. I also know he is a big liar and acts like we are not together around his friends and coworkers.
I am deeply in love with him and don't want to lose him, but am starting to feel I am losing myself to go along with whatever he wants. Am I insecure and childish to be paranoid of the women around him when I know he is like a dog in heat? Do I even believe anything he says after being lied to so much and blamed for it? I really need someone elses opinion.
Why are you still living with a man that treats you so bad? That is not love, it is something else. Perhaps desperation. Are you fat, ugly or stupid? If you are, go to Walmart and look at all the fat, ugly or stupid people who are with partners that treat them nice. Do you think there are no other men out there? This man will never be respectful towards you because he doesn't have to. Your may get an identity from mistreatment because it gets you sympathy from your friends, family and co-workers. Do some personal inventory. Change your life. It is never too late.

david405
Nov 29, 2007, 11:50 AM
I need help somebody who think they know they can help because I'm
In love with a girl and she has a boyfriend it a long story somebody help me I don't know
How to use this site if you know or think you can help me my nummber is 405-603-4542 ask 4 david thank you very much