11 years ago my sister who is 10 years younger decided that she no longer wanted me to visit our Mother when she was there. Because of this my Mother took her side and would not tell me why my sister had stopped talking to me and had decided she hated me. Instead, my Mother told me that in the future I could not come to every Holiday, that for now on I had to come every other year. So, I this year I cannot go for Thanksgiving, but I am going for Christmas. I can only go home for Easter, etc. every other year. And I now need to ask for permission if I want to come for a long weekend, while my sister can go whenever she pleases. I cannot begin to tell you how much pain I am in. I have asked my Mother to help, but she refuses. What do you think??

I think you should tell your mother that you do not understand the rift is between you and your sister. That you will gladly try to repair it if she can explain what the problem is.

From there you have two choices. Since your mom has sided with your sister and told you what schedule you have to adhere to, you can either abide by that schedule or not visit at all. You can't force yourself into your paarents home when you have been told you are unwelcome. If your mom hadn't sided with sis, then I would say you go when your want and if sis wants to stay away that's her problem, but that's not the case.