krt222
Nov 20, 2007, 05:54 PM
Hello,
Here's my situation...
August of this year I might a certain young lady. I am 24, a little under two years out of college with a full time job. She is 23, about half a year out of college with a full time job but looking to go to Grad school next August. We hit it off right away - things were even physical the first night we met. We went on a few dates a week for the first few weeks of our relationship. Things quickly became more intense and we were hanging out every day or every other day after about 2 or 3 weeks into it. At that point, she attempted to push away due to her apparent need for space. This wasn't what I wanted - but I granted her what she wanted and told her that I would not chase her and that she needed to come find me if she ever wanted to take a swing at things again. Within a few days, after having spoke with some of her friends about our relationship specifically, she told me she had changed her mind and still wanted to see where this relationship might go. We carried on merrily. Our connection was intense and deep, we rarely fought, and our love life was splendid. I can honestly say that neither of us had any serious complaints about the other or the relationship for some time. One night about 2 and a half months after we started dating she told me that she had had a pregnancy scare due to missed periods the last two months and she honestly thought that we were going to be having a child and she was amost going to tell me but then she finally got her period. She told me that she had come to terms with the possibility and that she thought that I would have made a great father and she wouldn't have resented it, etc, etc. She even said that when she had her period she was actually sad that she now wasn't having a child with me. It was also around this time that she dropped the "I think I'm falling in live with you" bomb as well. Things continued on with us now being closer than ever from this nonevent. About 2 weeks later, I began feeling like her attitude towards me and/or our relationship had changed. Little things that an observant person will note began to add up. I was becoming frustrated at this. We both felt that we needed to have a serious conversation one night - I let her go first. She told me that she really needed to not be in a relationship at this point in her life and that despite, and I quote, that I was "perfect" and that she liked me so much , etc. etc, that she HAD to do this for herself. I responded by telling her that this explains the vibe I had been getting from her recently and that what I wanted to talk about was already answered by this. She said that she didn't expect me to "wait for her" and that she felt that if things were meant to be that they would work out in the future. I was pretty saddened by all this - but I told her that as hard as it was and as much as I wanted her to stay that I understood that she has to do what she has to do. She had been in a long relationship throughout HS and college and another long one the latter years of college. She really hasn't had any time to just be herself I guess. She asked if we could still be friends and in the heat of the moment with emotions I said I didn't know if I knew how to be just that with her.
She left crying that night with me crying on the couch. It's been really rough - she means a lot to me. She sent me a message 3 hours after our talk saying that she is sorry, misses me already, and that she hopes our lives meet again in the future. I didn't communicate with her for a few days. Eventually, I recorded a song on the guitar (no lyrics) and put it on an online profile. It was a song that I wrote about her/us right after we met. The title of the song would have given this away anyway - but she had heard it before and knew what it was about. I'm guessing she was on my profile at some point that following week and saw the song. She responded by writing an online memo - or poem rather that was about us. It basically said that she had been crying about me and that this was really hard for her and that she needs to do this and that she hopes things will work in the future. A few days later I wrote her a poem in response saying that I understand what she's doing and why and that I'm OK with it, even though I miss her so much. I told her in that poem that whenever/wherever she's ready that I'd be waiting. I continued not having any contact with her. A few days later I broke down pretty bad about the whole deal. I called her up and we met briefly and I told her that despite what I had originally said about being friends just wasn't working out for me - that I need her in my life even if it is just as friends. She was very happy to hear this. I left the ball in her court to get a hold of me sometime if she wants to meet up for lunch or similar.
I'm still missing this girl like crazy. I need to know if others out there have gone through something like this and if it's better for me/us to try to see each other occasionally as friends and to keep in touch or to let it go completely. I've dated quite a few girls in the past and I've never felt this way about someone let alone so quickly. I feel a special bond with this woman and I feel like there is indeed a future for us.
Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this!
Here's my situation...
August of this year I might a certain young lady. I am 24, a little under two years out of college with a full time job. She is 23, about half a year out of college with a full time job but looking to go to Grad school next August. We hit it off right away - things were even physical the first night we met. We went on a few dates a week for the first few weeks of our relationship. Things quickly became more intense and we were hanging out every day or every other day after about 2 or 3 weeks into it. At that point, she attempted to push away due to her apparent need for space. This wasn't what I wanted - but I granted her what she wanted and told her that I would not chase her and that she needed to come find me if she ever wanted to take a swing at things again. Within a few days, after having spoke with some of her friends about our relationship specifically, she told me she had changed her mind and still wanted to see where this relationship might go. We carried on merrily. Our connection was intense and deep, we rarely fought, and our love life was splendid. I can honestly say that neither of us had any serious complaints about the other or the relationship for some time. One night about 2 and a half months after we started dating she told me that she had had a pregnancy scare due to missed periods the last two months and she honestly thought that we were going to be having a child and she was amost going to tell me but then she finally got her period. She told me that she had come to terms with the possibility and that she thought that I would have made a great father and she wouldn't have resented it, etc, etc. She even said that when she had her period she was actually sad that she now wasn't having a child with me. It was also around this time that she dropped the "I think I'm falling in live with you" bomb as well. Things continued on with us now being closer than ever from this nonevent. About 2 weeks later, I began feeling like her attitude towards me and/or our relationship had changed. Little things that an observant person will note began to add up. I was becoming frustrated at this. We both felt that we needed to have a serious conversation one night - I let her go first. She told me that she really needed to not be in a relationship at this point in her life and that despite, and I quote, that I was "perfect" and that she liked me so much , etc. etc, that she HAD to do this for herself. I responded by telling her that this explains the vibe I had been getting from her recently and that what I wanted to talk about was already answered by this. She said that she didn't expect me to "wait for her" and that she felt that if things were meant to be that they would work out in the future. I was pretty saddened by all this - but I told her that as hard as it was and as much as I wanted her to stay that I understood that she has to do what she has to do. She had been in a long relationship throughout HS and college and another long one the latter years of college. She really hasn't had any time to just be herself I guess. She asked if we could still be friends and in the heat of the moment with emotions I said I didn't know if I knew how to be just that with her.
She left crying that night with me crying on the couch. It's been really rough - she means a lot to me. She sent me a message 3 hours after our talk saying that she is sorry, misses me already, and that she hopes our lives meet again in the future. I didn't communicate with her for a few days. Eventually, I recorded a song on the guitar (no lyrics) and put it on an online profile. It was a song that I wrote about her/us right after we met. The title of the song would have given this away anyway - but she had heard it before and knew what it was about. I'm guessing she was on my profile at some point that following week and saw the song. She responded by writing an online memo - or poem rather that was about us. It basically said that she had been crying about me and that this was really hard for her and that she needs to do this and that she hopes things will work in the future. A few days later I wrote her a poem in response saying that I understand what she's doing and why and that I'm OK with it, even though I miss her so much. I told her in that poem that whenever/wherever she's ready that I'd be waiting. I continued not having any contact with her. A few days later I broke down pretty bad about the whole deal. I called her up and we met briefly and I told her that despite what I had originally said about being friends just wasn't working out for me - that I need her in my life even if it is just as friends. She was very happy to hear this. I left the ball in her court to get a hold of me sometime if she wants to meet up for lunch or similar.
I'm still missing this girl like crazy. I need to know if others out there have gone through something like this and if it's better for me/us to try to see each other occasionally as friends and to keep in touch or to let it go completely. I've dated quite a few girls in the past and I've never felt this way about someone let alone so quickly. I feel a special bond with this woman and I feel like there is indeed a future for us.
Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this!