Since my divorce in 2003, I have been trying to get back some sentimental items of mine that were left at my old house (yearbooks, family photos, etc... ). My ex and his friends moved my belongings into an apartment when we separtated and I wasn't 100% sure it was over between us, that's why I didn't get everything that rightfully belonged to me.

My ex has made excuse after excuse as to why I could not have them back. He wouldn't even allow me to pick them up from the front yard or give them to a mutual friend of ours.

I asked his mom for help in getting my things back. And she simply said, "I cannot help you". However, she wanted a ring back that she gave me on our wedding day. I told her that I would give the ring back only when I received the belongings that I have been asking for for years.

She & I recently found out that my ex threw my belongings away a few months ago, knowing that I've wanted them back for quite some time. And now she has been harassing me for the ring and telling people she'll take me to court. I have also received "guilt/nasty" emails from his current wife.

What should I do? I know the ring means a lot to her just as my irreplaceables meant to me. However, I don't want to give it back because my ex so carelessly threw my sentimental belongings away and she, as his mother, didn't have the decency to advise him to do the right thing. She only wants to preach to me about doing the right thing because it benefits her.

How can she allow her son to be so vindictive and expect others to be different?

Please advise.

Pears, I am so enraged for you at the fact that these people had such little regard for your property and threw them away, after hanging on to them for what 4 years... weirdos!! I think you should keep the ring and say that as a concequence for them throwing away your belongings you also have thrown away the ring. Or even better (if you don't really like the ring) sell it back to her! I know that most of your belongings that were thrown out can't be replaced but put a price on it and tell her how much you want!! I don't know where she's going taking the moral high ground with you when she didn't judge her son and his actions by the same standards... So now you tell her... "I can't help you".
(but hope I've helped you... tee hee (",))

In court the Judge will most likely say that the ring between you and her is a separate issue from your stuff and your ex. If she GAVE you the ring the Judge would most likely say it is her lose, except you did make a condition to give it back to her and it isn't her fault that he threw your stuff away. So if she takes you to court you need to emphasis that she GAVE it to you. Some Judges say that since you are not married any more so why keep it. Others say it was a gift you get to keep it.
One thing you do NEED to do for starters is make an itemized list with value like kiki was saying.