The first 3 years I was with my g/f we had a GREAT sex life. We had sex at least once a day. Last year she got pregnant, and her sex drive instantly went away. While she was pregnant I think we were only intimate 3 or 4 times. Although it bothered me to go from having it every day to pretty much not at all... I guess I kind of understood that her body was going through a lot, and she just didn't want it.

Our daughter was born Aug. 17 of this year :) After waiting the 6 weeks she finally wanted to have sex again, and it seemed like things were going to get better. It only lasted a couple days though, and its like her sex drive fell through the floor again. She never wants it, she gets mad if I even mention it, and she don't want me to masturbate. She says it makes her feel like she is not good enough. I've tried to talk with her about it but she just gets more upset. I've tried to just masturbate without her knowing, but when we do have sex, and we finish, she will actually look at the condom to see if there is a lot in there or not, and if not complain about it.

I love her, and I love to be with her... I feel like an for making such a big deal about sex, because it probably should not be that important. I've came very close to telling her before that she has 3 options though.. 1- we can have sex 2- I can masturbate 3- I can go and find someone else to have sex with. (which I don't want to do... it just bothers me that she don't want to)

I've tried to get her to talk to her doctor about it too, but she says she don't want to be put on medication to make her want sex, if she's going to have sex, she wants to because SHE wants to.

What can I do?

You can be patient... There are some questions I need to ask though is she nursing? Because nursing also has an effect on a woman libidio?

No, we use formula

Okay I needed to know that based on my response. You need to be patient with your girlfriend, It is so normal for a women's libido to decrease after giving birth to a child and by you telling me that she just had the baby it's only been 12 weeks since she has given birth and 6-8 weeks, when you are given the okay to continue sexually activity. You need to understand that her body have been through major changes after giving birth, and allow her time to gain her sex drive. In the meantime what are you doing to stimulate her? Is there foreplay involved? Are you being supportive with her in taking care of the baby? Because if one is not getting a sufficient amount of sleep or is taking on a lot of reponsibilities then how can you focus on having sex.

Are you helping her a lot with the baby? Do she spend a lot of time caring for the baby? Is there help? There are many reasons women don't have sex after child birth. Don't make her feel bad by telling her you will have sex with someone else.

Women face a lot of self-esteem and body acceptance issue after giving birth you need to talk to her and see how she is feeling and ask her how she feels... To see if depression is a sign.. this often happens a lot after giving birth...

I love foreplay... a lot of times I think I actually like that more than having sex (is that weird for a guy?)

I think we both take care of the baby about the same amount. She works part time, and goes to school part time. I have a full time job, and a part time job. We are staying with her parents right now (she says she feels more comfortable there with the baby, and don't want to get our own place yet) her parents will get up with the baby a lot in the morning so she can get a little more sleep.

I haven't actually told her I would have sex with someone else... I know I wouldn't anyway. My biggest problem with it all is that she don't want sex, and says I should just wait until she does and not do anything myself.

Ok, so I don't know if I should be worried about this or not. She has a male friend from when she went to school that she has always kept in touch with. She has always been a night person, so I've never really thought anything of it when I wake up at night and see her out on the computer talking to people online. She's always told me though that she only talks to him online, that she never sees him. Well last night I was playing with her phone (she got a new one) and there was a text message in her sent items where she told him "I guess you don't want to see me then ;)" Whatever replys he sent to her she deleted...

With it seeming like she wants nothing to do with me lately, is always talking to this guy online at night, and apparently wants to see him, should I be worried?

Ok, so I don't know if I should be worried about this or not. She has a male friend from when she went to school that she has always kept in touch with. She has always been a night person, so I've never really thought anything of it when I wake up at night and see her out on the computer talking to people online. She's always told me though that she only talks to him online, that she never sees him. Well last night I was playing with her phone (she got a new one) and there was a text message in her sent items where she told him "I guess you don't want to see me then ;)" Whatever replys he sent to her she deleted...

With it seeming like she wants nothing to do with me lately, is always talking to this guy online at night, and apparently wants to see him, should I be worried?