Log in

View Full Version : I'm pregnant and I don't want it. What do I do?


rawr_itssonya
Nov 2, 2007, 02:08 PM
I've already decided I want to terminate this pregnancy. I can't raise a child or birth a child. I can't remain pregnant. I know that sounds awful, and that's really not the type of person I am but I seriously CANT. What should I do? I have some birth control, but I don't want to OD on it. Should I just get an abortion? I'm 2 weeks late on my period and got a positive pregnancy test. What should I do? I have a supportive father of the baby. We've been together 2 years and he's staying with me. But we can't raise a child.

Synnen
Nov 2, 2007, 02:09 PM
Go see your doctor, first and foremost.

She will be able to confirm your pregnancy, and then (if she's a good doctor) talk to you about your options.

J_9
Nov 2, 2007, 02:14 PM
Taking too much of your birth control is only a myth. It will rarely, if ever, cause a spontaneous abortion.

Please follow Synnen's advice.

rawr_itssonya
Nov 2, 2007, 02:15 PM
Taking too much of your birth control is only a myth. It will rarely, if ever, cause a spontaneous abortion.

Please follow Synnen's advice.

So should I just go get an abortion?

peggyhill
Nov 2, 2007, 02:18 PM
Definitely see a doctor first thing. Don't take a bunch of birth control. It won't be like a medical abortion. It will only make you sick. Go see the doctor and tell them what you told us. He/she can let you know what your options are and help point you in the right direction. If money is an issue, see if there are any free clinics or clinics for the uninsured in your area. You could also check the yellow pages for pregnancy counseling centers. They often have free pregnancy testing. If there is a medical reason you can't have a child, then get to a doctor ASAP. If the doctor won't take the time to talk to you, like I said, check out the pregnancy counseling centers. They have very nice people who work there. Once the doctor confirms that you are pregnant, you can also talk things over with your boyfriend, if that's what you want. Hope this helps!

J_9
Nov 2, 2007, 02:25 PM
so should i just go get an abortion?

Although you WILL get many opinions here, as we are quite the opinionated group, it is not our decision to make.

Some are pro-life, yet others are pro-choice. We do not know you or your particular circumstances. This is a decision that is completely and totally individual, and only you and your partner can make this decision WITHOUT interfering factors (and yeah, you'll get that here).

Please make an appointment with your doctor to discuss ALL of your options.

sothisislife
Nov 2, 2007, 03:53 PM
i've already decided i want to terminate this pregnancy. i can't raise a child or birth a child. i can't remain pregnant. i know taht sounds awful, and thats really not the type of person i am but i seriously CANT. what should i do? i have some birth control, but i dont want to OD on it. should i just get an abortion? i'm 2 weeks late on my period and got a positive pregnancy test. what should i do? i have a supportive father of the baby. we've been together 2 years and he's staying with me. but we can't raise a child.
Im pro-choice, and I believe that it is your choice to do what ever you want with your life. Your very lucky the father is supportive, but if he is or isn't, you're the one who is pregnant. It is your choice so don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. What ever you do, make sure it helps you.

macksmom
Nov 2, 2007, 04:23 PM
Okay, okay, let's not try to make this into a "pro-life" "pro-choice" issue.
The OP has already stated her mind is made up... and is not asking advice on weather it's right or wrong...

So you are decided that you want to terminate the pregnancy. So you need to do as the others have stated... go to your doctor, get a blood test to verify the pregnancy, then your doctor will be able to give you more advice on where to go from there.

MOWERMAN2468
Nov 3, 2007, 08:47 PM
Pro-life is what I am. My question would be, where was your birth control when this happened. It is sad to think you want to end this child's life when there are couples out there that would gladly adopt your child at birth and raise it as their own. Go and see the doctor and perhaps they will try and tell you also about pro-life options.

HollyAnngel
Nov 4, 2007, 01:00 PM
Birth control is not always effective and this is a very had decision Im sure... Espesially if you feel you are not the kind of person that would get an abortion. Are you just scared to have a child or do you not want to tell your family because of his age?

Miss lovley
Nov 5, 2007, 10:26 PM
Why would you want to kill your own flesh and blood that is just wrong go the 9 months give birth and give the child up for adoption.

softbelly
Nov 6, 2007, 11:55 AM
i've already decided i want to terminate this pregnancy. i can't raise a child or birth a child. i can't remain pregnant. i know taht sounds awful, and thats really not the type of person i am but i seriously CANT. what should i do? i have some birth control, but i dont want to OD on it. should i just get an abortion? i'm 2 weeks late on my period and got a positive pregnancy test. what should i do? i have a supportive father of the baby. we've been together 2 years and he's staying with me. but we can't raise a child.


Go and kill your child! And think and wonder about what you did for the rest of your life.
I would give up my own life to have my own child. But I can't because of health problems don't allow me. But you for whatever reasons would rather kill yours. There's couples out there would do anything to have a child but they can't. I will never understand this one side is killing the other is wanting it so badly but can't get pregnant. There's so little babies to adopt because they all get killed, murdered by their mothers. You have two options neither is easy 1/the selfish one is to go to doctor and ask him to tear the baby out of your womb. 2/ the loving one, give up the baby for adoption to a loving couple that desperately want to raise a child. The choice is yours. Sorry for me being so blunt, but there's no reason hiding behind nice words, when it's clearly murder.

macksmom
Nov 6, 2007, 12:11 PM
A. The OP hasn't responded since the orginial posting

B. there is no reason to 'attack' the OP

C. the OP was not asking was it right or wrong... she already cleary stated she decided to terminate the pregnany

D. the OP was asking for advice on what to do now that she has made the very hard decision to teminate her pregnany... THAT is what our advice should be focused on.

E. for the record, before this turns into more of an issue... I am pro-life, so you are hearing this from someone who doesn't agree with abortion... but that is NOT what the OP was asking advice on.

LearningAsIGo
Nov 6, 2007, 12:13 PM
There really is no option for you without seeing a doctor. A doctor will give you a blood test to confirm your pregnancy, talk about your options, and refer you to another doctor who will perform it if you so choose.

Don't try and do anything without professional help. Women who try to induce abortions through drugs (or worse) only become ill and risk their own lives as well.

Tuscany
Nov 6, 2007, 12:17 PM
Mack- I need to spread the love. But, I needed to give you a big hug.

I too am pro-life, but attacking the OP for her decision is not helping her with her question. Well said Mack!

softbelly
Nov 6, 2007, 12:47 PM
OP should see an abortion only then she could make up her mind!
I tell these were pro-choice girls future nurses, and they described the abortion as... the doctor ripped the head of the baby, then hands and legs of the body. You could see the limbs being torn of the body. They were clearly shaken by what they just saw!! OP needs to open her eyes and see, and calling things by the right names is not and attack.

macksmom
Nov 6, 2007, 12:59 PM
Softbelly... many of us, as you can see, are pro-life, and we still offer advice in a useful manner... we also know exactly what an abortion entails... there are many "debate" questions asked here a lot... THAT is where you should debate the issue.

softbelly
Nov 6, 2007, 01:02 PM
You are not pro-life, you are just saying you are, it doesn't matter, someone has to speak for the baby, that unfortunately has no choice in this matter, yet his/her life is being destroyed.

jillianleab
Nov 6, 2007, 01:04 PM
softbelly you are missing the point - THIS thread is not the place for a pro-life/pro-choice debate. Should you wish to start one, feel free, but THIS thread is not the place for it, and if it continues in this direction, it is likely the mods will close/delete the thread.

Foxy459459
Nov 6, 2007, 01:05 PM
If I were you, I would go to your nearest plan-parenthood, they will be able to give you all your options and if you decided to terminate the pregnancy then they can help you with everything. If you don't mind me asking how old are you? The only reason why I ask was I was 15 when I had my son, so I know how you feel right now. So if you need someone that has been there before to talk to just let me know. My other e-mail is EMAIL REMOVED FOR PRIVACY

softbelly
Nov 6, 2007, 01:06 PM
That's fine with me!
Dear just go to your doctor and he will do the job/abortion after you pay him! Isn't that nice and sweet!

Foxy459459
Nov 6, 2007, 01:10 PM
You are very nasty. You should not be that way twards a young girl that is scard and doesn't know what to do. Why don't you put yourself in her shoes for just one min! You have no idea how she is feeling! How dare you judge her your not in her shoes! Just because your "pro-life" doesn't mean the rest of this world is. Why would you want someone to bring a baby into this world knowing that they can't do it. You have no idea what her home life is like or her family or anything else. If you don't have anything positive to say THEN Don't SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!

softbelly
Nov 6, 2007, 01:13 PM
And how would she feel if she was in my shoes or in shoes of all the women that can't have a child? What do you know about me to judge me? I have just been told I will never have a child, what do you know how my life was, my home, what I have been through?
I think she knows the answer, everyone knows she needs to go to doctor to have it done!

Synnen
Nov 6, 2007, 01:16 PM
Softbelly--

I was 17 when I had my daughter, and considered abortion, but decided that it wasn't for ME.

I placed my daughter for adoption.

I am now suffering from "unexplained infertility".

I think I know better than you how all those shoes fit.

Shut your mouth.

The OP made her decision. There is another post ASKING for opinions about pro-life/pro-choice. Go post there, but quit hectoring people HERE. You have hijacked this post, and frankly--it's not about YOU.

Go spew your venom on someone who hasn't already made their choice.

jillianleab
Nov 6, 2007, 01:17 PM
We've really strayed off topic here, and these last posts are not helping the OP at all. Please take your discussion to PM or start a new thread in which you can debate being pro-choice or pro-life. This site is about helping people, and arguing in this girl's thread is not going to help her.

Foxy459459
Nov 6, 2007, 01:18 PM
Just because you can't have a child that's not her fault. That's why they have adption places. Im sorry you can not have children I truly am. But that doesn't give you the right to pass judgement on other people. No one is judging you at all! I know nothing about your life. And I said nothing about you or your situation. The poor girl is scard and doesn't know what to do. Think about it from her point of view for just a second.

rawr_itssonya
Nov 6, 2007, 01:19 PM
You are very nasty. You should not be that way twards a young girl that is scard and doesnt know what to do. Why dont you put yourself in her shoes for just one min! You have no idea how she is feeling! How dare you judge her your not in her shoes! Just because your "pro-life" doesnt mean the rest of this world is. Why would you want someone to bring a baby into this world knowing that they can't do it. You have no idea what her home life is like or her family or anything else. If you dont have anything postive to say THEN DONT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!

Thank you. I really do appreciate your understanding. For those that are pro-life, I'm sorry if I'm a dissapointment to you, but like others have said earlier- I've made up my mind. I'm in no condition to raise a child. I have a job but I barely make enough money to provide for myself. My mother doesn't make much money either and she has to support me AND my older brother who is old enough to move out but hasn't. And my boyfriend doesn't have any money to raise a child either. He works full time but he has bills and he has his own place etc. I don't think it's right to bring a child into this world when their living conditions would be awful. I grew up 1 out of 5 children with a single mom(the youngest). It has been horrible. I would never want to do that to another child. I know that adoption is an option, but my family is extremely judgmental and I can't see myself facing them pregnant. My older cousin recently had a baby a couple of years ago and ever since, they look at her like she's trash. I could never face my older siblings after having a baby. I would have to drop out of high school because there is no way I could be pregnant and go back to school and face my friends. I had dreams of attending one of the best universities in my state and I can't imagine giving that up to live with a child or be pregnant when we're both unhappy.

rawr_itssonya
Nov 6, 2007, 01:25 PM
I also wouldn't want to bring a child into this world knowing that they would never know their mother or father. That's unfair. I have only seen my father 3 times in my entire life and I've seen the difference it's made between me and my older siblings. They at least have memories of my dad when he was still around but I have nothing. To imagine that my child wouldn't know they were my child, and knowing the psychological and emotional scars that would leave them, I would never want to do that either.

softbelly
Nov 6, 2007, 01:26 PM
Softbelly--

I was 17 when I had my daughter, and considered abortion, but decided that it wasn't for ME.

I placed my daughter for adoption.

I am now suffering from "unexplained infertility".

I think I know better than you how all those shoes fit.

Shut your mouth.

The OP made her decision. There is another post ASKING for opinions about pro-life/pro-choice. Go post there, but quit hectoring people HERE. You have hijacked this post, and frankly--it's not about YOU.

Go spew your venom on someone who hasn't already made their choice.

Well you still have a hope for seeing your child, unexplained infertility, I know people had children with that. I understand this girl has a problem, but how do you know this will not be worse after she has the abortion. She will have to live with this, will she really be able to, once she gets older be able to look back and say it was the right decision. My sister in law had her abortion and she had a daughter after that, but she still keeps thinking and talking about the child she aborted. She felt under pressure to do it. What if this girl is going through the same thing. I am seriously unhappy at the moment and I don't judge her, but see where I am coming from. This is for her, and her baby not me.. please try to understand.

Foxy459459
Nov 6, 2007, 01:28 PM
This girl needs support not argueing. We need to help her through this...

rawr_itssonya
Nov 6, 2007, 01:32 PM
I'm already getting noticeably fatter :(

Foxy459459
Nov 6, 2007, 01:33 PM
Check your e-mail rawr_itssonya

softbelly
Nov 6, 2007, 01:40 PM
See she said it, she feels under pressure from piers and family, what they would think, well my child don't worry about them, they will always think something no matter what you do. This is what my sister-in-law went through, was under pressure from family, they all thought she should have an abortion. Have a good think about it dear... you can't undo it afterwards.

J_9
Nov 6, 2007, 03:10 PM
First of all Softbelly, you are new here and you are starting on the WRONG foot. Chill out, relax and be supportive rather than judgmental. We all make mistakes in life, but we should not be preached at for our mistakes but taken under wing and guided.

Now, back to the OP...

Sonya, how far along do you think you are? If you are too far along a doctor won't do an abortion. Abortions are only done until the 12th week of pregnancy if it is an elective abortion. Medical abortions, for reasons other than choice can be done later, but only if it is a medical necessity.

I can calculate your how far along you are if you can tell me the first day of your last period.