When I have sexual intercourse I don't feel any kind of pleasure. Just the feeling of a penis moving in and out and around. It never hits any spots that feel good to me. What is wrong?

when i have sexual intercourse i don't feel any kind of pleasure. just the feeling of a penis moving in and out and around. it never hits any spots that feel good to me. what is wrong?

Well, the design of the male versus female for intercourse is "wrong" to begin with.

His most prominent errogenous zone can be found while you're blindfolded wearing oven mitts (a fav line of mine) and its completely in the area of stimulation. He thrusts, he feels it all over his unit.

For all the talk about the cl!toris, there are a number of areas in the female anatomy that can help bring about an orgasm... but clearly the cl!toris is a prime player for most women. While its located near the action, most likely its just not properly stimulated for your pleasure. I can think of several positions I really like (im a guy), that if pursued, will not directly stimulate the cl!toris. Great for me, maybe not for her.

Sooo...

Lots of things to consider here. Sex is just as much about being mentally in the moment. I can do all the "right moves" that I know my partner likes, but if she's feeling rushed, stressed, or otherwise distracted... well, it just isn't going to work. There are times when I'm performing oral on her and I can look up and tell whether its going to work. If she's just laying there staring into space, nada. If she's self stimulating her neck or breast or moaning a little, arching her back and pushing back against me, we're on track.

So mentally you need to be ready. And a big problem is when you can't get off its pressure on the next time... this thing hanging over the moment that you are stressing about. No good.

Tied into that, as I mentioned before, is that what men like and women like aren't always the same or possible in a given position. My partner has hardly ever had an orgasm in the missionary position. She likes it, but it never, ever gets her off. Cowgirl position (guy on bed, girl riding on top) is much better. Why? More direct control and stim of the clitoris and an ability to control the angle at which the shaft enters you.

Honestly, if I have a gun to my head and I'm told to get her off or else, id do oral. Not that its easy, but it's a much better bet. Not to mention it better lubricate the woman for intercourse. So are you getting any oral stim? The problem here is also that its not just do step one, two, three. Different women like different stim... and even the same woman can want different things depending on the moment, mood, physical state.

And then there's the issue of multiple stimulations. One way to keep things escalating is to vary the sensations so that you aren't just getting used to one primary feeling (thrusting). My partner, for ex, doesn't like a lot of playing at the breasts early, but later it can send her over the top. Another partner liked hands around her neck with a little pressure at the right time. And still another loved strong cl!toral stimulation with fingers when things were starting to level off.

Which brings us to self stimulation during sex. Don't be afraid to. Using your fingers to self stimulate when he's inside you can sometimes be just what you needed. My partner does this commonly and it can absolutely help push the moment over the top... there are a couple of positions that would do very little for her (outside of feeling nice) unless she self stimulated during sex.

So... I know this is a long post...

1) think about what you like to feel when self stimulating. If you don't, try it. You need to discover your body and what works... your partner can't magically know exactly what feels good to you, so helping him understand is useful. I've been with my partner for 10 years and she still asks for things she wants.

2) get oral stimulation. Period.

3) consider self stimulation during sex and different positions where you have more control

4) mentally try to be in the moment. A quickie just might not be what you need. Try sex after a hot bath or massage, when you are more relaxed.

5) educate yourself. We have probably two dozen books about sex, sexuality, sensuality, etc. the latest I read was She Comes First: A Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman... focusing on aspects of oral stimulation. Not a perfect how-to... but it gives you info on areas of stimulation and some things to think about.

If you can provide more info about your situation, maybe there will be more tailored advice. How old? How many partners have you had and have they all failed to bring you to orgasm? Any health issues? Mental state OK? Stressed? Working a lot? When do you try to have sex? Where? etc...

The more we know the more we can address your situation...

I have had two partners in the past. The only way I can feel pleasure is through oral sex and I usually orgasm.

But with sexual intercourse, my vagina does not seem all that sensitive. I feel occasional discomfort, and then after I get used to him inside of me there is no feeling at all really. At times it feels really strange and unusual. Rubbing my clitoris when I am being penetrated just doesn't feel as good as it does when there is nothing inside of me at all. The penetration seems to decrease the sensitivity of manual stimulation greatly for me. And being that penetration itself doesn't provide any sort of sexual gratification, stimulating my is pointless.

With me, it's not even about having an orgasm. I'd be happy if I can somehow find penetration itself pleasureable.

I do try sex toys. I've moved it all around inside of me, and thrusted the thing from every angle and still have not felt a sexual response.

I have the same problem! It's good to know that I'm not alone, but yeah, the way I feel is almost like there is nothing significant about my vagina, it's not sensitive or anything. It's almost the same as if he were to touch any other body part.

But how old are you?
And do you get pleasure from oral/masturbation/etc?

This is to help me too hah