mylifewillgoon
Oct 8, 2007, 08:06 AM
This is the 4th day I was forced to take a break after she moved out (not completely; most of her belongings are still here). This forum has become my corner stone of the healing process since. I am very impressed with the depth and knowledge of our members posted here. This is my first ever serious posting on any forum and I hope I can also receive feedbacks from girls who have been on her shoes or know someone in a similar situation before so I can also understand a little better on where she is coming from.
Here is my quick story: We are 10 years apart. She is in our mid-20. We dated for 4 years and married for 2 years. I am the so called nice guy and she is the attractive one who always brings a lot of attentions from males. Overall, she is a nice person though still immature, short tempered and selfish sometimes but I can generally tolerate it due to I am a lot older than her. Throughout our relationship, she feels like I took her youth away even though I always treat her with kindness, love and respect. She is not stable and doesn't know what to do with her life and she has not had an opportunity to explore as I am her first serious relationship. I have been taking care of everything so she felt like she desperately needs to find out who she is and growing up etc. Of course, I know a lot of girls need this, explores and dates a variety of men, once reaching certain age before fully committed but hate this event happen to us. She settled with me when she was not ready apparently.
She said we can still meet to be physically intimate sometimes but I got so hurt when she asked my on the phone "can we take a break?" three times, I did not know what to say and just hung up the phone w/o giving an answer 'cause the action already presented itself and she is nice enough to ask for my permission. I'll do my best to maintain NC. But as a married couple, there is so much tie together w/ both of our names on so eventually we do have to talk even though I prefer to stay NC till I can heal completely.
Even though I was sad but recognized the good days we have shared and sacrifices we both made. Of course, I want her back and I believe I am strong enough to survive well if she decides not to come back. I hope whatever comes out in the end, go separate way vs. get together, will be the better for each of us.
Any advice/thought/feedback will be very grateful.
Here is my quick story: We are 10 years apart. She is in our mid-20. We dated for 4 years and married for 2 years. I am the so called nice guy and she is the attractive one who always brings a lot of attentions from males. Overall, she is a nice person though still immature, short tempered and selfish sometimes but I can generally tolerate it due to I am a lot older than her. Throughout our relationship, she feels like I took her youth away even though I always treat her with kindness, love and respect. She is not stable and doesn't know what to do with her life and she has not had an opportunity to explore as I am her first serious relationship. I have been taking care of everything so she felt like she desperately needs to find out who she is and growing up etc. Of course, I know a lot of girls need this, explores and dates a variety of men, once reaching certain age before fully committed but hate this event happen to us. She settled with me when she was not ready apparently.
She said we can still meet to be physically intimate sometimes but I got so hurt when she asked my on the phone "can we take a break?" three times, I did not know what to say and just hung up the phone w/o giving an answer 'cause the action already presented itself and she is nice enough to ask for my permission. I'll do my best to maintain NC. But as a married couple, there is so much tie together w/ both of our names on so eventually we do have to talk even though I prefer to stay NC till I can heal completely.
Even though I was sad but recognized the good days we have shared and sacrifices we both made. Of course, I want her back and I believe I am strong enough to survive well if she decides not to come back. I hope whatever comes out in the end, go separate way vs. get together, will be the better for each of us.
Any advice/thought/feedback will be very grateful.