What purpose does it serve for you to not sleep, not eat, be late for school, etc? Why don't you make yourself stay up when you get home from school, do your homework, eat supper, talk to your mom, find something pleasurable to do in the evenings (besides telephone, computer, tv), go to bed around 10 or 10:30 pm and get up the next morning in time for school? Obviously, it won't happen overnight, but if you are dedicated to it, and follow the same basic routine every night for a month, you WILL eat, sleep, drink, perform better at school, etc. like most teens your age.

What is the payoff for NOT doing it?

Hugs, Didi

I don't have time to myself which is why I never sleep. Sometimes I forget to eat. I'm late for school because even if I just slept a million days I'm still going to be tired if I know its before 8 am. I can't stay up when I'm home from school because I'm too bored and theirs nothing to do but sleep and even if there is I don't feel like doing anything because I'm too tired and if I take a nap, when I wake up I don't think as much about school whereas if I don't take a nap I think more about school all day and sleep makes me forget what day it even is and everything that happened plus I'm really tired. In the evenings, I have nothing to do because I don't have anything. My mom ignores me and acts like she doesn't care when I talk to her. I talk to her on the way home from school everyday for about 20 min. but that's it and she never says anything except "you talk too much." or "can you shut up" she says it like in a joking way but still that's all she says. And I can't go to sleep at the same time every night because it never works out. Sometimes I can't go to sleep that time and sometimes I can't stay up til' that time even if it was like 8 pm. And I can't stand everyday being like that it has to be different every day.

That makes absolutely no sense: "I don't have time to myself" AND "I'm too bored and there's nothing to do but sleep."

What do you mean that you have no time to yourself?

And I know your thinking "she says she doesnt have much time to herself but has nothing to do" well, I need a lot of time to just chill out. I go to school and its 20-30 min their and back which takes an extra hour than if I went to a school near by. Then if I did my homework that would take like 3 hours but I can't do it. I have pets and stuff to take care of and you have to remember I can't stand being in my room and I'm in here about 16 hours a day because I won't leave my room if theirs more than 1 person out their and theirs 4 of us living here and my nephews over a lot and I just the thought of him makes me so damn angry. And I need to quit talking about it now, sorry.

Told you you would think that

Omg I had so much trouble trying to sleep last night. I thought I was going to die. It was miserable and will probably be the same tonight. Theni went to school and it just so happens that I heard this one girl say that she was in the hospital because she was dehydrated and went a few days without eating.

Here's an after-school schedule:

DO NOT NAP!

Have a healthful snack and something nutritious to drink (even just ice water) then do an hour of homework.

DO NOT NAP!

Eat supper and drink a full glass of ice water.

DO NOT NAP!

Wash dishes and put them away.

DO NOT NAP!

Do another hour of homework.

DO NOT NAP!

Take an hour of free time to relax. Deal with the animals.

DO NOT NAP!

Do another hour of homework.

DO NOT NAP!

Get clothes and stuff ready for the next day and finish homework.

DO NOT NAP!

Take a warm bath or shower and get ready for bed.

GO TO BED!

I almost broke up with him today because I just get so mad when I'm at school and well, he made me really mad and then like the second I went up to him in the hallway and was going to it was like I forgot or something and like everything went back to how it was and then after that I couldn't even think about breaking up. But its like IN A WAY IT SEEMS LIKE he wants me to be someone I'm not. He doesn't like me for me. He can't find who he's looking for so he's just going to make someone into that person even though its fake.
Im not saying that's true and I'm not explaining it all exactly right. That's kind of wrong. I don't know how to say what I want to say though

Um, I had to take a smelly school bus (stop and start to pick up or drop off kids) all four years of high school and sit on it for a half hour to 45 minutes each way. I don't feel sorry for you.

If I don't take a nap, I can't do anything and I will actually fall asleep while walking over to get the phone or something.

Only one person makes you mad. No one else has anything to do with it.

That makes absolutely no sense: "I don't have time to myself" AND "I'm too bored and there's nothing to do but sleep."

What do you mean that you have no time to yourself?

Because it's her computer and the Internet's fault that she has no time to herself! Her computer sends out a magnetic wave that works with attracting flesh, so there's no way for her to get away to have time to herself! It's a co-conspiracy between her computer and the Internet, no doubt! They are the ones who are in charge! :D

Aha!! I totally understand the problem. It happens here too.

Well ii don't fall asleep but it feels like I am. I just feel really relaxed and like I could easily fall asleep and other times like when I go to sleep for the night, I can lay their for hours and not sleep. I'll just start talking to myself after a while and pretend I'm somewhere else. Or plan conversations out that I'm never going to have with people I don't even talk to anymore, sometimes. And this goes on all day. Sometimes I think of my future and if I'm still with him try to imagine what it would be like, where we would live and everything. And its like having an imaginary friend only I'm imagining he's with me every second I'm away from him. So even though he's not their, I talk to him. I know it sounds crazy

And also, weather I'm tired or not I almost always stay up til' at least 11:30. I can't help it. I guess its cause everyone is asleep and it6s quiet. I HATE NOISE!! It makes me so angry. Some is OK but it depends on what it is I guess. And I never leave the house because I cant. I want to so bad but the only place my parents will take me is school. Not even to get new clothes that I'm willing to buy because "they dont have the time" And so after every one goes to sleep its like the only time I have that I enjoy. And I usually just watch t.v even though I hate it. I have satalite and I still think that the only thing I will watch is like king of the hill or the simpsons. Unless I watch animal planet... during the summer I always watched mtv or mtv2 but now I hate it because it brings back memories of my miserable summer

Only one person makes you mad. No one else has anything to do with it.
Who makes me mad? I'm not mad until 2nd hour with the teacher that grades all stupid and puts us in groups where our desks are so close and I don't have room to move and then the girl I'm stuck with has a staring and loud chewing gum problem. Then I hear him always talking to his friends and this one girl always trying to talk to him and I hate people like that so much.

Here's an after-school schedule:

DO NOT NAP!

Have a healthful snack and something nutritious to drink (even just ice water) then do an hour of homework.

DO NOT NAP!

Eat supper and drink a full glass of ice water.

DO NOT NAP!

Wash dishes and put them away.

DO NOT NAP!

Do another hour of homework.

DO NOT NAP!

Take an hour of free time to relax. Deal with the animals.

DO NOT NAP!

Do another hour of homework.

DO NOT NAP!

Get clothes and stuff ready for the next day and finish homework.

DO NOT NAP!

Take a warm bath or shower and get ready for bed.

GO TO BED!

Woohoo!! Ten thumbs up for Wondergirl!! Michelle... you need to print this out and make this your schedule for one month... just one month! Then we can reassess to see if it works or not!

Although, I guess you need a weekend schedule, too, huh?

Hugs, Didi

But I actually think I'm going to take a nap now... and another reason is I get so hungry and have to wait forever for dinner and I tell my mom I haven't ate all day and to wake me up for dinner5 but she just lets me sleep. Anyway, I can't stay awake because I'm too hungry to be awake while waiting for food. I actually cry sometimes because I have nothing to eat and according to my mom she thinks we have all kinds of food I could be eating or cooking. I guess she expects me to just wake up one morning and magically know how to cook. And I get called "lazy" cause I donk know how... they think I learned at school but all I learned in that class was how to properly cut out paper snowflakes. Really great for a cooking class. That was in the 10th grade and advanced class. I guess the next level is learning to color in between the lines.

Um, I had to take a smelly school bus (stop and start to pick up or drop off kids) all four years of high school and sit on it for a half hour to 45 minutes each way. I don't feel sorry for you.

My youngest granddaughter gets picked up by the smelly school bus at 6:40 a.m. to start school at 8:30!! Then she has to take it another hour and a half or so to get home! I don't feel sorry for you, either!

In fact, not only are you lucky to get a drive to school... you are lucky that you have a mom to do it for you - and to joke about how much you talk!!

Get a grip, girl! You have a case of the "Poor Me's"!

How am I lucky for my mom to do it for me? I said I wanted to stay at the school in town but she works out of town so picks me up when she gets off work and sometimes I have to go wait for almost 2 hours with no place to really go other than DQ. So my boyfriend would go with me and we would just hang out or whatever. But my parents sent me their because they were worried about gangs at the school in town. I told them if they sent me to another school I wouldn't talk to anyone or be friends with anyone who tried talking to me. I kept that promise if you don't count my boyfriend.

I don't think you see what its like in my life though. You know when it's a really cold winter day and you just want to sleep and keep warm? Any time theirs clouds in the sky, I think of my room, or school I feel like its one of those days. I guess that's the best to explain it. I love sunny days but theirs never enough. I love being out side but I never have anything to do out their or any place to go. Theis a really cool place by my bf's house though. Don't jump into conclusion... but its out in the woods and it goes back like a mile and theirs all these ponds and stuff. And this trail. Its really hidden and then theirs a vidock or whatever its called that we would climb up on and it was like taller than the trees. I only went up their because he did and I was afraid of him going up their and I'm like reallly afraid of heights. Just the thought of them I can get that thing in my feet like you would get if your standing at the edge of a tall building. I would love to be able to go their all the time, or have a big back yard with my own pond. What I want is to be at home, outside, and where no one can see me and just think or something. That's one thing iv'e always wanted

But my parents sent me their because they were worried about gangs at the school in town. i told them if they sent me to another school i wouldnt talk to anyone or be friends with anyone who tried talking to me. I kept that promise if you dont count my bf.

So you refuse to talk to anyone at school out of spite toward your parents who put you in a that school against your wishes?

People there are different then people where I'm from. Their all like country people that live in a town with less than 2000 people and that includes inmates at the prison. Everyone their knows everyone, The high school doesn't even have 300 students and they all have a certain thing to them and I don't know what it is but I don't like it. And the thing about there is that when I first went their no one talked to me anyway. They hate new kids their. Where I'm at, the high school in town has over 1,000 kids. I think one time I heard it was like 3,000. There's like 36,000 in my town (so I heard, but I don't know if I'm remembering those numbers right). I'm not used to small places and being around people who live out in the country

I mean the city I live in has 1,000 or w/e students and the sc hool I go to has less than 300

people their are different then people where i'm from. their all like country people that live in a town with less than 2000 people and that includes inmates at the prison. Everyone their knows everyone,. the high school doesnt even have 300 students and they all have a certian thing to them and i dont know what it is but i dont like it. And the thing about their is that when i first went their no one talked to me anyways. They hate new kids their. Where im at, the high school in town has over 1,000 kids. i think one time i heard it was like 3,000. theres like 36,000 in my town (so i heard, but i dont know if im remembering those numbers right). im not used to small places and being around people who live out in the country

Hmmm, and I came from a city situation and spent my teens in a town of 500, mostly farmers, and there were fewer than 400 in my high school, but I turned out OK. Everyone knew everyone--and many were related in some way. I was the "odd ball" who came from somewhere else. I found ways to blend in and make friends. You can too.

Grammar lesson --

they're = they are
their = shows possession, like, their house or their dog
there = a place, like, going over there or what's in there

I know the different theirs I just don't feel like thinking about how I type them. What's your last name? I'm beginning to think I know you. Seems how my teacher goes over that every single day.
I wouldn't be friends with these people if I got paid to be their friend. I just don't like them at all.

They're over there picking their flowers. Did I use them all right?

If you know the difference, please use them correctly. Otherwise, you disrepect not only yourself, but us too.

Boy, you sure carry a grudge.

Perfect! A+++! On their/there/they're. Now, do that ALL the time.

I hate weekends... its hard for me to get through without him... but I'm not crying about it yet... I'm just thinking about my license. I'm really sensative to where if I hear "so n so broke up" and I may not know who they even are but it makes me start to cry. But its only when its like about love or whatever. Its os sad

When I'm typing a lot I'm worried mostly about getting done with what I have to say and north how I spell. It doesn't matter to me how people spell words I can still understand it

It makes me mad typing, I type fast and it takes too long.
I know my to's too. I think.
I went to the store and bought two cakes for you too.
Maybe the sentence is a little off but that's not the point.

Wondergirl, do you have a dog? I'm really beginning to think you are my teacher. I know your in chicago but maybe your lying. Are you?? Do you have 2 sons? I know I'm wrong but you just seem so much like her.

I have four cats. I hate dogs.

Grammar lesson --

your = possessive pronoun - your sweater, your Dodge Neon
you're = you are - you're going to Homecoming, aren't you?

I wanted a dodge neon really bad but I ended up with an escort instead. I hate cats.
I know the yours too. I know you don't need to tell me. I no

Or should I say "KNOW" geezes

Or should I say jesus instead of geezes

I have a Dodge Neon. It has an awesome sound system and fantastic cupholders.

Get good grades in school and graduate so you can get a good job and make money and buy a Neon. I've heard the Prius is very cool too.

I have a Dodge Neon. It has an awesome sound system and fantastic cupholders.

Get good grades in school and graduate so you can get a good job and make money and buy a Neon. I bought my Neon with my own money all by myself.

I've heard the Prius is very cool too.

Well, I need to ask something? Maybe one of you can help me here so I won't have to start another thread... tell me this sounds like. Well first I got like really sad because I can't stand being stuck in my room all day. I loved my room before but now I'm sick of it so I figured I would leave my room. I went in the living room and just sat there. That's all I did and I got bored so I went back in my room right back where I started and I just started crying really bad. I was trying to figure out what it is that I really want. I thought it was just to get out of the house. That would help a little bit but not enough. I thought some of it had to do with missing him because I get sad every weekend from missing him. Escpesially on fridays and saterdays. So between missing him and wanting to go somewhere that has a lot to do with it and I think that's what was bothering me most. Anyway, my nephew who's always over here, I never did like. I really HATE him A lot. Well, he thinks its funny to be all loud and everything and that's how I ended up always being in my room is because of him always being over. When I am anywhere near him I hit him. When I hear him I go in my room and turn the music up as loud as it goes. Anyway, I asked my mom if we were going anywhere tomorrow and the answer was no as usual. Its been like 2 or 3 months since I went anywhere other than school. I wish yesterday when I didn't feel good I would have went to the hospital instead od just dealing with it myself. Just so I could get out of here. I look forward to school and I hate school. Anyway, after being around my nephew I had to go back in my room, then I cried a little more until I suddenly noticed I wasn't crying anymore and I was really angry. Then after a while I was just really tired and wore out from it all... before any of this I was pretty happy. I just haven't felt this sad since summer break because I couldn't see him at all. But I also was sad because I felt like my life isn't going to last long. I couldn't imagine me having a good future at all... then I thought of one thing... take a guess... Yeah, it was him. And I realized. Hes almost 18 and in a year and a half I'll be 18. We've been together almost 2 years. If we can make it together another year and 1/2 maybe we can at least get ourselves an apartment. Things only get better between us now. They got worse for the longest time but then they got better. And I'll soon know if he's using me or not because I'm not doing anything for him anymore. I just don't get how when we first went out he wanted to break up because we were together 2 months and didn't even hold hands and now he won't do that at all. Well, tell me what you think about any of this

I think you are knocking yourself out to make yourself miserable.

I think if you spent as much time trying to make yourself happy as you do in worrying about things that you would be living a totally different life. You know, you touched on something here. You said you look forward to school - you hate school. Imagine that you decided to pour yourself into something so that you weren't always bored or dwelling on a guy that you really don't even have a relationship with. Imagine, just for a moment, that you decided that you were NOT going to let yourself be sad any more. I wonder what kinds of things would happen in your life??

Hugs, Didi

Ive never had anything even before him. I just would always listen to music all day. There is nothing. And I blame my parents. They don't let me do anything

"Their" is nothing??

You aren't powerless.

It all has to do with choices.

Well, this is odd... My brothers starting to remind me more and more of my boyfriend. Which is making me kind of feel pushed away from my boyfriend and my brother more of a friend. I don't want it to sound like anything really messed up. Lol. My brother jokingly (at least I hope) always puts his arm around me just to be funny. And acts like he's going to kiss me. That's stuff my boyfriend won't even do... but they both take my stuff from me and try to keep me from getting it. And they both make me laugh the same. They are both the 2 funniest people I know. And I don't really believe in that zodiac stuff... but if you do, you may find this interesting. Their birthdays are only 1 day apart but different years. Anyway, I don't want my boyfriend and my brother to be alike. I mean I have almost as much fun talking with my brother as I do with my boyfriend because I can talk about the same things... well, mostly the same things. And its like I'm always laughing. I don't know what to do.

You aren't powerless.

It all has to do with choices.

I'm not interested in anything. See, I'm 16 and could have my license but I don't like driving, I hate it. There is something wrong with me. So right now I plan on just working on trying to get that so I can spend time w/ my boyfriend. And remember when I told him we weren't going to do anything? Well, I'm really not going to do anything with him for a while. And I won't say to him "maybe whenever" I'll just tell him I don't want to and we aren't ready or w/e. And see how it goes. But what do you think from what I said in that one post about when he said "okay we wont" and " i want you to get your lisence so i can see you more, not just for that" Do you think it's a lie...
1 more thing about earlier... sometimes I get this where like 1 little thing will make me laugh for like an hour but at the same time 1 little thing will make me cry and its so back in forth at those times. Anyone know why? Other times if I'm happy its hard for me to be sad and if I'm sad its hard to be happy.

There is only one way to find out if he's lying or not. Get your license and then find out how he wants to see you--just to be with you or just to use you.

As for the mood swings -- you are 16 and your hormones are still all over the place. If I were you, I would work real hard at putting some routine and regular stuff into my life and see if that helps my mood swings stop swinging. That means eat right, drink good fluids during the day, start getting yourself into a decent sleep cycle, and do your homework so you can graduate. If you really work at this, the mood swings should stop and you will be as normal as WE are. (*giggle*)

Speaking of normal, it's almost 3 a.m. I'm off to bed.

Lol... well, I woke up early this morning at like 8:30. And I went to sleep at like 3 am too. Anyway, I was kind of tired when I woke up but I was in such a good mood that I didn't want to go back to sleep. Then I went driving with my dad for a couple hours and I think I seen my bf's mom because we went out by where he lives and it looked like her car I saw. I should have acted like I was going to hit her but I probably would have. My dad said I did pretty good and I should be able to pass the test soon. Well, now everything seems olmost like it should be except its not. I just feel like it is almost there.

For some reason I get b's and m's mixed up a lot. Anyone know why? Its all the time, when I'm writing or typing or anything. I always have to correct it. Its not every single time but quite a bit. And I do it with q's and g's too but they almost look alike.but the b's and m's can get to be pretty bad.

And sometimes I wonder if I have dyslexia but that's only because I say get ahead of myself too much and mix things up... like one time I said something about a bag of dog treats only instead I said "a dog of bag treats" and I always say " i need to fish my feed" instead of feed my fish. And sometimes I say things that sound like what I'm going t say but aren't what I mean to say. Like for example instead of "i need to take a shower" I'll say "i need some chicken chowder" Only, not that weird of things... I can't think of an exact one iv'e said right now but it happends.

O and sometimes I'll spell things like way way off. Like weekend I might speel weakened. See, I did it with spell on accident. Right there. Did you see that?

I guess I kind of feel like I did when me and him 1st started going out.

It happens to all of us. It just means your human. It's usually because your mind is going faster than you can speak/type/write.

Dyslexia is a reading/writing problem, not a spoken one.

If you say, "I have to shake a tower," instead of "I have to take a shower," that's called a spoonerism. They're called spoonerisms after Reverend William Archibald Spooner, who lived in Oxford, England in the late 1800s and early 1900s and who supposedly frequently made these slips of the tongue. Spoonerisms are very common, such as "keys and parrots" (for peas and carrots) and "burls and goys" (girls and boys).

I said I do it when I write too

And its hard for me to read sometimes but mainly because I don't pay attention to what I am reading even when I try but I get words mixed up so bad sometimes

It's still a spoonerism, not dyslexia.

Dyslexia is seeing words reversed, like "was" and "saw".

Perhaps you need to slow down and keep your mind on what you're reading or writing?

My boyfriend always says cabause instead of because.. but he does it more of a joke

I don't think I've ever finnished reading a whole book in my life. Ok maybe its not like completely backwards but its like... when I just typed maybe, I almost typed bemay. And smaller words escpessialy and, I spell a lot backwords. But usually not bigger words.

My brother used to say waterlemon instead of watermelon, and sotormycle instead of motorcycle.

Calapiller was nother none... ever nothis how nother is like not her. But is nother a word?

That's me without correcting it or trying to think about what I am talking... I mean typing

See, I do it a lot and it pieces me off.lol

My brother used to say waterlemon instead of watermelon, and sotormycle instead of motorcycle.

Other family favourites: pascetti (spaghetti), chimbley (chimney), belt seat (seat belt), racaroni (macaroni), pimentos (mementos), espesilly (especially), Wilco (Woolco). I always say co-inky-dink instead of coincidence... maybe I have a learning disability? :eek:

Hmmm, you two are starting to scare me.

I wonder (since I'm Wondergirl) if Clough says or writes like you two do. If he does, I may have to start looking for new friends...

it peices me off.lol

HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!! :D I love it!! :)

Uh oh. Clough understands Michelle.

My daughter used to say McDondalds instead of McDonalds. I counldn't say the letter "s" when I was a small child. I used to ride downtown with my mother's mom on the bus. I would tell people that I was riding downtown on gramma's butt!

I just thought I would peek in here briefly. Got to go work some more on my painting...

Then I have to get things ready to travel to and play for a gig in Union, IL tomorrow. It weel take up thee hole dae tomorrow. :p

My bf's little sister can't say her r's so she says grashoppa instead of grasshopper and for fork... she says another f word. Lol. She's like 6 or 7. Its funny though when she says it.

my bf's little sister can't say her r's so she says grashoppa instead of grasshopper and for fork... she says another f word. lol. Shes like 6 or 7. Its funny though when she says it.

I'll bet it is! :p

My daughter used to say Zuchinni instead of bikini...

Sometimes I say memember instead of remember.

sometimes i say memember instead of remember.
I say musKKKKel instead of muscle... I pronounce the c as a k...
And when I am serious I am serial...
Oh gosh I could go on and on... Have a wonderful day sweet...

People at school say that all the time because they think its funny... they say "are you being cereal?"
One time I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I said "hold on i need to get my thinks straight" and I meant something like "hold on i'm trying to figure something out" Or "hold on im trying to understand" I don't know what I meant but it was something like that.

Anyone ever just get that bad feeling like something terrible is going to happen but you don't know what? I have that. I feel like I'm in that nightmare I had or something. I feel like either someone going to break in my house, kill me, shoot me, the house is going to burn down or something like that. Its kind of scary and I'm afraid to go to sleep. I feel like I need to keep an eye on things... I used to be like this all the time when my brother wasn't home. When he first got home he didn't have a room and had to sleep in the living room and I felt safer but now he has a room and everyone is in their room and when its like this I feel almost like a watch dog. I'll set out their and be careful to listen to any noise and sometimes, even though I'm scared I'll look out the window... every time a car goes down the street or anything.

But it kind of quit this summer and I knew not to be afraid of things even before my brother came home. Usually I'll be afraid of the dark and the light. But mostly the dark... I am exremely afraid to death of my basement when everyone is a sleep or is I'm home alone and its dark.. my dads rooms down their now so its not as bad... but I would go down their to do laundry and run so fast up the stairs and I've fell so many times from it... I would either feel like someone's watching me or I could just picture someone getting killed down there.. like in one of those electric chairs or something... I told my mom how scared it makes me and she said that she gets a bad feeling down there too.. Well, I was talking to my brother one day and his room used to be down there. He doesn't know about my fear of the basement but he said when he was about my age he tried to hang himself by the washer and drier and then he woke up and the rope broke. But sometimes I would be standing like right in that area and all of a suddenh get REALLY scared and run for my life. And when I got upstairs I would shut the door behind me and lock it and one time I got so scared I hid under the kitchen table. And I wasn't a real little kid at the time either. This was in the last year or 2

Don't you think that this is all in your mind?

Don't you think that this is all in your mind?

Yes, Michelle... It sounds like an over-tired, over-emotional, over-active imagination to me - ESPECIALLY in view of all your other posts since you joined AMHD.

As long as you refuse to set normal sleeping and eating habits for yourself, I suspect these types of thoughts will continue.

Hugs, Didi

Well, its been a few days did everyone here forget all about me? I guess so :( :( :( :("
Well anyway I guess that's all I have to say... I could say more but I don't really feel like it

No, we didn't forget about you.

I hope that you learned some things by what people have said to you here. :)

Well I slept for like 16 hours and I woke up abput 7 hours ago and I'm tired again... I think things between me and my boyfriend are getting better...
By the way (btw) time for another pop quiz... NO CHEATING
Tell me what the following stand for: Hint: Try Saying Them.

4
B
C
R
Y

Well, its been a few days did everyone here forget all about me? I guess so :( :( :( :("
Well anyways i guess thats all i have to say... i could say more but i dont really feel like it

I haven't forgotten you, Michelle! I will be here if you need me, although you may have to wait sometimes. Right now I have company for the week, so my time online is limited, but I always look to see if you are seriously seeking guidance or support when I am able to be here.

Hugs, Didi

Thanks, Didi

Ok. Now I may be getting him mad at me... I e-mailed him a while back talking about him using me and I would post what he said back but it's not really appropriate... Basically he said " i thought i was proving that i care about you by not messing around with other girls. If your trying to end our relationship just do it and quit dancing around it" Well, I didn't know weather or not to think he was mad and I kind of just forgot about it and the next day at school he didn't seem mad... in fact we came so close to almost kissing... lately when I go up to him at his locker its like we end up being so close to each other and I don't know if its me getting closer to him or him getting closer to me but it seems more like him. Anyway, my brother baught me an iPod. I knew nnothing about ipods before and my boyfriend had a shakeria video on his iPod and he said that it was on their for some reason I can't remember but that he couldn't delete anything once its on there... but now that I have one, I know that you can delete it so I e-mailed him about that and now I'm afraid I'm taking all this too far because like everyday its something else that I e-mail him like "are you cheating" "Do you even care about me?'' "are you using me?" and all kinds of things like that and he bused to get mad at it all the time but then I stopped and things got better and now ever since school started, I started again and its only when there's school it seems like. And well, I'm just afraid he's going to get mad but I just want to know the truth but I should be more mad at him anyway because he lied to me... so I guess me asking him about it is just what he deserves. Right?

I got more to say and io'll probably forget it later but I can't type right now... my palms are really sweaty

Hello... no one says much to me anymore.
Well, all I can say is that I'm sad and happy at the same time. Like I'm not worried about him doing anything but I always hated halloween... until last year when I was with him. I remember 2 days so perfectly... his aunts halloween party and the other day being at his other aunts house... I remember everything we talked about everywhere we went, what we ate... I even remember people at the party that I didn't know and haven't seen but that one time. I remember it better than yesterday. Better than now.

Another thing...
Every Sunday he would always come to my house and sometimes on saterdays too.
Lately when I wake up on the weekends... I pretend that it's back when he could come over and I wake up and plan on calling him and getting ready for him to come over... I think if I do all the same stuff and pretend its back then that it will be, but it doesn't work.

I feel so bad too because when I get my license I can see him but its like I just don't care about my license for some reason... I don't like driving. It makes me feel so stupid. But I want to see him so bad.

Am I the only one here anymore??
Hey you guys no what a sad song is? Really sad...
Traveling soldier by Dixie chicks...
I normally don't listen to that stuff but yeah its sad. I liked that song when I was younger but didn't really understand it like I do now

You're here!! So are a couple of us, at least...

I thought you were all talking to each other about me behind my back and getting each other to not talk to me anymore!! ~

Lol... jk

I'm here but near death from fatigue. Clough is making me stay up.

Welcome back, br.

Welcome back?? Ive been waiting so long for all of you to say something. I stop in everyday and say a little something.

I'm here a lot, especially after 10 p.m. What costume have you been wearing, br?

Costume? What costume?
I want to go back to a year ago so bad and relive it without the torture

I want to go back to age 20, but oh well.

How was your week?

I thought you were all talking to each other about me behind my back and getting each other to not talk to me anymore!!!!~

No. Not at all. It's just been a really busy time for some of us. We all have our things that we need to do in order to survive and hopefully prosper.

I'm here but near death from fatigue. Clough is making me stay up.

Welcome back, br.

I plead the 5th...

Welcome back??? Ive been waiting so long for all of you to say something. I stop in everyday and say a little something.

Yes, welcome back, Michelle!

Hey, have you checked out these other links on this site? You might like to get involved in what is going on there!

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/holidays-observances/wanted-your-favorite-short-halloween-stories-jokes-145095-8.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/writing/your-favorite-fortune-cookie-sayings-143825-2.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/art/artist-you-133294-72.html

I want to go back to age 20, but oh well.

How was your week?

I think that I'm still at age 20, maybe even at about age 10, as a matter of fact!

Gosh, Michelle! That makes you older than me!

Yeah I seriously forget I'm 16 sometimes and I will think I'm either 12,14 or 15... other times I think 14 is too young for people to be dating but then I realize "what am i talking about ive been with my bf since i was 14" and sometimes I feel a year or 2 older

Well.. I got online a min ago to check my e-mail and probably his and when I went to log in to Yahoo... on the side of where you sign in it was this link I'm going to give you about checking your partners e-mail... which is kind of odd since I just started doing that.

Why Do I Check My Partner's Email? -- Yahoo! Personals (http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/12158/why-do-i-check-my-partners-email;_ylc=X3oDMTI0YW8wbGdrBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEc2VjA2Z wX3RvZGF5BHNsawN3aHktZG8taS1jaGVjay1teS1wYXJ0bmVyc y1lbWFpbAR6egNhYmNk)

Hi, Michelle!

So, can you get into his email?

Usually I just do it to see if he read my messages yet... no one else ever sends anything to him. But he did get a myspace newsletter but he told me he got rid of his myspace for me... so I logged into his myspace too and it said the last login was the day before but he didn't have any friends on it or messages or anything other than this one from a girl... but it was one of those that don't know you but try talking to you and all that.

Please excuse me, but I'm not clear here yet.

Please answer yes or no. Can you get into his email account?

Yeah I can I thought you would have knew that from what I typed... sorry

Yeah i can i thought you would have knew that from what i typed... sorry

It's okay. Thank you! I just wanted to be clear. You sure do like to type!

Thank you for posting on a couple of the threads that I mentioned. What did you think about them?

Are you gone? Are you eating something?

Sorry I was at another site for a little while...
I think those threads were very interesting... did you read what I said in them?

sorry i was at another site for a little while...
I think those threads were very interesting... did you read what i said in them?


Yes I did read them. I think that you did a good job. If I recall, I think that there was a question that I asked you on one of them that you didn't answer. I may be wrong, though.

Four questions, Michelle.

Do you have to go to school tomorrow? (I'm not trying to get on your case right now. I just would appreciate knowing, okay?)

If you do, what time do you have to get up in the morning?

And,

Would you like to try something creative and silly concerning Halloween that would be fun and interesting?

Yes. Okay. 7:30. I don't know

Are you going to be able to get up at 7:30 if we continue for just a little while longer here, but not much longer?

Yeah I do it all the time... I don't think I'll get to sleep at all though. If I would just try to sleep I could but I never sleep much because I try to get the most out of everyday. Lifes short.

Yeah. Life is short. But, in order to enjoy it the most, we need to get enough sleep!

You do need to get on a regular schedule as far as sleeping. You are a very wound up girl! It would definitely help you in your thinking and other things if you would try to go to bed at the same time every night and get a good nights sleep. I always feel and think better after a good nights rest.

In light of the fact that you do have to get up early, and in order to get it started, would you like to create a scary Halloween story with me? Kind of like Mad-Libs only not? We would take turns. It would give you a chance to be silly and creative.

Yeah but I can't sleep without making myself stay up fro along tim because then I feel like my day isn't complete.
I can never keep a schedule for sleeping wed. I went to sleep at 7pm, thurs- 2 am, Friday 4am sat- 5:30 am.. and I will probably go to sleep in about a half hour or so

But actually I think I can get to sleep more quick if I get off here... I'm playing a game too, in a few min. I'll quit and then maybe get to sleep

So I'll talk to you tomorrow maybe..

Okay. So, you are giving yourself a limit here as far as time. That is good! Do you want to start a story?

so i'll talk to you tomorrow maybe..

Okay. Maybe see you, tomorrow! You are doing the right thing.

All right... just so you all know. Sometimes I come back and forth here a lot. So I may or may not say anything for a while its hard to say... I may be on other sites and appear offline when in just afew min. I'll be right back here.

Cool

I'm thinking about breaking up w/ my boyfriend but that isn't what I want at all. I'm just tired of his lying. Today I told him "its over" but we only had a sec. to talk and he just said "what was over?" I didn't have any time to explain what I meant so I just said "nevermind" Then the rest of the day he just looked kind of down.Do you think maybe after this he'll straighten up? I told him not to call me today because I won't b home and I have 2 go to the doctor because I'm allergic to something... that's what I was planning on doing but my parents won't take me. He wanted me to do his homework and I asked why he couldn't do it. He said he didn't have time in his schendule because he had to bake cookies for another class. Lol. I figured it would only take me a min. to copy it down so I did it... But, I may not give it to him. He has that class after our 2nd hr. and it all depends on how he is in that class because today he made me really mad and confused. He did the same thing he did last year and last year I cut myself and theirs scars on my arms from it.

I wish he would start posting here. I would love to hear his side of the story. You are starting to sound like... like... you know.

alright... just so you all know. Sometimes i come back n forth here alot. So i may or may not say anything 4 a while its hard to say... i may be on other sites and appear offline when in just afew min. i'll be right back here.

Does that mean that you are like a ghost or spirit of some kind? :)

I wish he would start posting here. I would love to hear his side of the story. You are starting to sound like...like...you know.
Like what?

Does that mean that you are like a ghost or spirit of some kind? :)
Yeah that's what it means

Originally Posted by Clough
Does that mean that you are like a ghost or spirit of some kind?


yeah that's what it means

Perfect! Then I know that you would be great at writing a Halloween story! You have first-hand experience at being spooky!! :eek: Do you want to write that Halloween story with me Michelle that I mentioned to you last night? It would be fun and interesting! :D

Incoming phone call right now. I will be back...

Not really... Sorry.

Not really... Sorry.

Okay. Just thought that I would ask.

What's with this?


I'm thinking about breaking up w/ my boyfriend but that isn't what I want at all. I'm just tired of his lying.
***

Why are you being such a tease?


Today I told him "its over" but we only had a sec. to talk and he just said "what was over?" I didn't have any time to explain what I meant so I just said "nevermind" Then the rest of the day he just looked kind of down.
***

You think this is how to make him "straighten up"?


He wanted me to do his homework and I asked why he couldn't do it. He said he didn't have time... it would only take me a min. to copy it down so I did it... But, I may not give it to him.

What's THAT all about?

***

it all depends on how he is in that class because today he made me really mad and confused. He did the same thing he did last year and last year I cut myself and theirs scars on my arms from it.

So Michelle giveth and Michelle taken away. And it's all his fault you get mad and confused and cut yourself? I don't think so.

I really feel sorry for the poor guy.

:confused: hmmm... I wonder if anyone else would be interested in writing a story with me.. :confused:

What's with this?


***

Why are you being such a tease?


***

You think this is how to make him "straighten up"?



What's THAT all about?

***


So Michelle giveth and Michelle taken away. And it's all his fault you get mad and confused and cut yourself? I don't think so.

I really feel sorry for the poor guy.

I'm not doing it for that... if he doesn't stop lying.. I'm done. I can't deal with it anymore

The poor guy loves you.

Is that why he lies all the time? He always asks me who all I talked to and everything and says he doesn't want me talking to other guys and he won't talk to other girls but then he does it right in front of me... its not that I'm mad he talked to someone... it's that he lied. I told him I didn't care if he talked to other girls if I can talk to other boys but he said he didn't trust me. For him to talk to another girl all class hour and keep making her laugh right in front of me when he said he wouldn't, really makes me wonder what he would do behind my back.

He loves you and wants you all to himself. Doesn't want to share you.

Well then why does he say that he won't talk to anyone else and then he does? I do all I can for him, why won't he do anything for me? This is weird. This is all flipped around. Usually its him that once ( meant wants. Lol) to leave me or w/e and everyone says he doesn't care and I should forget about him.

I'm just really confused because I don't know what I really want to do.. I mean I want to stay w/ him but I'm just tired of him always being this way

Just ignore that stuff. Be nice to him when you see him and don't get all huffy over what you think he's doing or not doing. Just be casual and friendly. And don't do his homework for him.

What reason am I staying with him though... we love each other but why? I mean I even woke up 1 day in my sleep and I don't know what I was dreaming about but I woke up crying and I was saying like I was talking to him "no matter what i'm always going to love you for as long as i live"
But I just don't see how he loves me or shows it. Other than he just has this look on his face like a sad little puppy, every time he looks at me at school from across the room. When I pass him in the hallway he gives me this really serious evil look.. and when I'm actually talking to him he seems nervous.
He says he shows it by not talking to other girls (lie)... and that he doesn't find others attractive (probably another lie). And by not lying (lie). And then I asked if he would ever lie to me... he said "probably sometime'' so I was glad to hear him be honest about it.
But I just don't know if he really even cares that much about me.

Last year in the same class the same thing happened and he was talking to that same girl... I almost pushed her desk over with her in it... to keep myself from doing that I just walked out of class... later that day 4 cops came to my house because my friend said I was going to kill myself. Then later that day I cut myself and still have the scar. That was when I started cutting.
Today, I just sat their and kind of turned my head facing the wall so I couldn't see them talking because I almost just went up and punched her. Every time I looked over she was laughing at something he was saying.

You're too emo with this. Just enjoy life and him and the others and have fun and be a kid. Before long you will be an adult and then the troubles will start--and you will wish you were 16 again. Yeah, I know. You don't know what I'm talking about.

I didn't do my work. I just sat their shaking because I was so mad

Oh for Pete's sake. Get a grip.

You're too emo with this. Just enjoy life and him and the others and have fun and be a kid. Before long you will be an adult and then the troubles will start--and you will wish you were 16 again. Yeah, I know. You don't know what I'm talking about.
Yeah I do.. every year I want to go back to the year before. Like now I always think back to this time last year and this time last year I would think of that time the year before. I was just thinking today how its weird that you just kind of get a certain feeling about different times in your life or different years... I guess they are just so different. You talk to different people, act different, look different, have different stuff, do different stuff, etc. I took a nap today and I woke up thinking it was last year pretty much. Then I realized, other than the fact I can't talk to him when I want, my brothers here now, my rat died, I have a car, internet, and an iPod now. I also look A lot better. Nothing else has changed. It feels like its still back then. But its not. I feel like this whole last year didn't happen. Like its still then but its not... its so hard to explain.

But I do know that right now I kind of don't want to go back to last year.. yeah I liked being able to talk to him when I want but then I'd just go through alll this again... and I'm looking forward to like a few months or so.. I should be able to see him now. It seems like he's not trying to see me though.. he's rushing me to get my license... why can't he get his? He's almost 18.

Anybody want to know about the couple of homework assignments that I was given here last week?

Sure, clough.

I didn't get them done yet! Sorry... :o

I think I'm going to go soon though... maybe now.
I forgot to type one of them but I don't remember what it was. It was either g2g(got to go) or ppl(people) maybe wb(write back)... did I say all those? I don't know theirs a lot.


And wondergirl... what do you think about my situation? I seen your offline, and I'm about to go tooo but I will tell you more tomrrow how things go. Thankfully the teachers only making him set by that other girl for 2 days. And today was 1. But I just don't think I can trust him now.

I think I'm going to go soon though... maybe now. That would be a good idea for your health and well-being!


I forgot to type one of them but I don't remember what it was. It was either g2g(got to go) or ppl(people) maybe wb(write back)... did I say all those? I don't know theirs a lot. Thanks for the answers!

Later...

I think that you need to set your sights on other things in your life, Michelle. There's much more to life than concentrating on relationships at your age. You have your whole life ahead of you. Right now is the time to set up and train yourself for how you are going to be. It might be better to concentrate on you and what you can do. Relationships with boyfriends at your age can be on agan, off again in a flash! Both you and your boyfriend are going to be going through tremendous changes and decisions that you are going to make in the next several years.

Just some additional food for thought.

Later...

So I kind of sort of broke up with him today but then an hour later everything seemed back to normal. He kept talking to that girl and I saw her laughing every time he would say something. Its him, her and his friend that sit in that group and she asked the teacher to never put her in a group with them again because my boyfriend kept disagreeing w/ everything she said and the other person kept making her feel bad about herself. But I can tell he's joking about stuff by the way he talks to her. He kept lying to her too. I heard them talking and she said something about him calling her a name and then he said he didn't and she called him a liar because he did.
But I told him "its over" and he just said "okay, i'm not going through all this with you ever again" and then I walked into class and he walked away really fast. Then after that class I told him "i'm not mad that you talked to her but its the fact that you said you dont trust me and you dont want me talking to other people and you wouldnt do it but then you turn around and do it anyways." then he said "fine go ahead i dont care" (is their a thing for I don't care? Like idc? If not there is now). Then he said ''i don't know what your so pissed off about" and I said that again about how he told me not to do that and then he did. And that was when we were walking to class and we didn't have time to say anymore. Then after that class everything seemed back to normal I guess

I have told you before, guys like girls who are fun and happy. If you are always beetching (won't let me spell it any other way), jumping on him for stuff, not trusting him, complaining, breaking up with him, getting upset, etc. then you will push him away. If you always walk around like a zombie because you are tired, you will not attract anyone of worth, and will cause those who like you already to back off. Guys don't want problems. Smile a lot, laugh a lot, talk to everyone in a kind way, sleep properly, eat properly, study, do your homework, make friends. It will drive him CRAZY!! He will be afraid of losing you instead of you obsessing all the time. It's time you start acting like a woman instead of a 4 year old pining over a lost stuffed animal. You need to either end it forever and see other guys or decide to trust him. You need to start treating him with respect if you want him to respect you. If I were him, I would be afraid of you. It's like everything this guy says or does (or doesn't say or do) you obsess over and bring more meaning into it. Let me tell you this... it's okay for both of you to talk to other people, both male and female. It's okay for both of you to have fun without the other one. It's okay for you to be happy! Try it!! You may be pleasantly surprised.

Hugs, Didi

Now, if only Michelle would print out what you just said, Didi, and post it on her mirror (and read it at least twice a day). In fact, that should get the prize for 2007.

Michelle
Read what Didi has written above and then read it again and again , and then put it into action. Believe me it will make a huge difference.

I have told you before, guys like girls who are fun and happy. If you are always beetching (won't let me spell it any other way), jumping on him for stuff, not trusting him, complaining, breaking up with him, getting upset, etc. then you will push him away. If you always walk around like a zombie because you are tired, you will not attract anyone of worth, and will cause those who like you already to back off. Guys don't want problems. Smile a lot, laugh a lot, talk to everyone in a kind way, sleep properly, eat properly, study, do your homework, make friends. It will drive him CRAZY!!!!!! He will be afraid of losing you instead of you obsessing all the time. It's time you start acting like a woman instead of a 4 year old pining over a lost stuffed animal. You need to either end it forever and see other guys or decide to trust him. You need to start treating him with respect if you want him to respect you. If I were him, I would be afraid of you. It's like everything this guy says or does (or doesn't say or do) you obsess over and bring more meaning into it. Let me tell you this... it's okay for both of you to talk to other people, both male and female. It's okay for both of you to have fun without the other one. It's okay for you to be happy!! Try it!!! You may be pleasantly surprised.

Hugs, Didi
He gives me reasons to not trust him... this is only the 2nd time in 2 years I ever thought about breaking up with him and the 1st time was more of a joke. We both for joking around about stuff and both knew it was a joke. So this is the 1st real time I ever thought about and even now I don't want to... he's the 1 who always wanted to break up w/ me but that changed. Today when he daïs "i'm not going through all this with you again" that pretty much explained to me that he got tired of always being mad at me before and going through all that when he knows we still end up talking which is why he doesn't bother because he knows he wants to stay with me anyway. Does that make sense? To me it does.

Maybe you don't know this but I have problems sleeping... when I can sleep I forget to eat. Sorry but I am so tired of hearing it. Nothing is going to change how I eat or sleep. People in my school are not anything like anyone I would want to talk to. Want to know why? I live in the "ghetto" and go to school out in the "country" where every one is different than around here. One little incident in that town happened in probably the past 10 years... about a month ago a girl shot her boyfriend and then herself. She died and he had 4 bullets in the head and was in the hospital last I heard... in my town.. in the past 5 years... 1 guy was shot on my block, 1 kid down the street died of a drug overdose, 1 person got shot in front of my aunts house, then down the street near my other aunts house, a person got stabbed to death at a wal-greens near my house. My neighbor went to jail for running a guy over on purpose.. this same guy was always breaking into our cars and trying to steal them and threw a brick through one of my neighbors window.
I'm not to proud of where I live... but it does make me not fit in over there. THe people are a lot different than what I am used to because it's a whole other town. There are not even 300 students in the high school... where I live there are like over 1,000. I think I heard one time their was like 3,000. People at my school act and even look like they are 10 instead of 16 or w/e. Most of them are like those really preppy or w/e you call them people that are all into sports... and I hate how they join the sports but they are so glad when they cancel a game... why do they join the sport then? Its stupid.
This is my 3rd year now at this school and my boyfriend is the only one in the whole school who's house I have been to or has been to my house.
The last person I tried to be friends with was before I talked to him, this girl kept saying that my boyfriend keeps using me and all this stuff to keep me from talking to him... I never really liked her to begin with and I was only talking to her to be nice... but everyone at my school has like the same personality except for him and his friends.

I messed up that last part. What I meant was I tried to be friends w/ her and I was starting 2 talk to him and she kept telling me all this stuf so I wouldn't

Now what was my answer for him finding others attractive? I don't know if he does or not I don't remember... It was possible that he doesn't right? But more than likely t at was a lie too because he always lies

Yeha now your all scared of me too. Just because a lot of people get shot where I'm from doesn't mean that I'm going to shoot nayone or anything... Geeze why does everyone act this way towards me? :(

You are missing the point! You must either decide to trust him or end it forever. Placing the trust in his hands will either make it or break it. Regardless, for your own sanity, you MUST make a choice!

As for your sleeping problems - you have sleeping problems because you spend HOURS worrying about stuff you have no control over! In addition, you have very bad habits. You will always have bad eating and sleeping habits if you don't force yourself to maintain a 'normal' routine for a minimum of one month - preferably 3 months. You must not allow yourself to nap AT ALL! You must eat 3 regular meals a day, even if they are small ones, and you must eat healthy food. You must drink water to replenish your body fluids. You must go to bed every night at the same time and get up every morning at the same time. If you can't sleep, so what? Lay in bed, read a textbook or your school notes if you absolutely must do something - but do NOT watch TV, listen to music, turn on the computer or get out of bed! Gradually your body will adapt.

You know, you are a very judgemental person. You judge everyone in your school, forgetting that YOU are one of those people! I bet there are more like you. The thing is, it's not up to you to judge. It IS up to you to smile at people and be friendly. I'm not saying you should become soul sisters with anyone - just be nice! Accept people the way they are.

I have lived in the city and the country. My adopted daughter went to one of the best schools in our area when we lived in the city, from Kindergarten to Grade 7. We then moved to the country. She felt the same way that you do. However, the problems turned out to be hers, not theirs. In Grade 8 she distanced herself from the others, preferring the company of two boys that people didn't accept very well. In Grade 9 she had no friends at all. Recently, she started a new job and one of the girls who 'hated' her worked at the same place. She had to learn to get along with her, so she decided to talk it out with her and ask her to put aside her dislike so they could work together. Imagine her surprise when she learned that the reason that the kids seemed to 'hate' her was because of the way she acted towards them! In fact, she learned that many of the girls really wanted to be her friend but found her to be withdrawn, rude and unapproachable. She has now made a new friend.

Maybe you aren't proud of where you live, and maybe people will judge you for it. It just doesn't matter! You are there to get an education so you can get the heck out of there! Concentrate on that! Learn and grow. As I said before, you don't have to be best buds with anyone - but you should be nice to everyone no matter how they are.

You say this other girl said your boyfriend was using you. Personally, I think she was probably trying very hard to help you. Sometimes outsiders can see situations that you can't. It doesn't matter what she said, though, because the fact is, you make up your mind what you will and won't do. You have spent 2 years worrying about whether this guy really cares, whether he is using you, etc.

Michelle - get on with LIVING!! Find things in your life that will make you happy! If there aren't things to make you happy, then create them yourself! You will meet many obstacles to happiness in your lifetime. Life is what you make it, and don't you EVER forget that! If you want to be happy, make yourself happy! You are the only person responsible for your feelings. If you are bored, it's because you are boring. If you are sad, it's because you are neglecting yourself. If you are angry it's because you aren't dealing with your problems.

Again, I say to you that you need to realize that you are a woman now. It's about time that you started acting like one. When I was 16 I had a baby and an abusive husband who wouldn't hold a job. When I was 17 I had two babies and an abusive husband who wouldn't hold a job. He wanted 9 babies and I had 2 in 10 months. I had to take control of my own life! So I raised those two children on my own. I worked 3 and 4 jobs, went to school full time for 3 years, and I made choices that would affect three people's lives forever. I had to grow up fast. You have time, so why not start the process now? If you don't you will be in exactly the same situation that I was in one day.

Think about the things that people are constantly telling you. I have seen you give advice to others here. You KNOW we are right. Are you afraid of failure? If so, all I can say is that there are many people here willing to help you through it. You are a very lucky girl... take advantage of it.

Hugs, Didi

She said he was using me to get me to quit talking to him because she's obsessed w/ every guy and she knows I talked about her to her friends.
I know I'm at school for education and not friends which is why I don't care about having them and I don't need them they are a WASTE OF TIME

And instead of seeking advice... I'll go back to dealing with it myself.. I was so much happier when I did and didn't worry about as much.

and instead of seeking advice... i'll go back to dealing with it myself.. i was so much happier when i did and didnt worry about as much.

This probably means that some of what I have said is opening up something for you and it's very hard for you. Michelle, you were not happy then. That is why you are here, and reading your boyfriend's emails, checking out other websites he has used, etc. You are very sad and confused and you need people in your life who care. Why would you go and deal with things yourself when you have so much support here and so many people who really care?

If that's what you want, do it, but we all know that you are reaching out for something. Are you strong enough to take our hands, though?

I'm going to bed now, but you KNOW I care.

Hugs, Didi

I was happier then... I figured he didn't find other girls attractive, he did care about me, I had nothing to worry about... after coming here you all made me worry more and more and more and more.

All I want is the truth... and you can all tell me what you think but it doesn't mean its true because you don't know for sure. Only he does and I guess I'll never know. When I come here all I hear is the worst from people who dotn even know what the real truth is. The only thing that can make me happy is knowing that what he says to me is the truth. I would believe it if it weren't for the rest of the world. I believe him until I notice how everyone else is... Could he really be different than them? He seems to think its wrong to find others attractive so would he do it? Maybe you shouldn't answer that. I'm afraid of what I might hear

I was happier then... I figured he didn't find other girls attractive, he did care about me, I had nothing to worry about... after coming here you all made me worry more and more and more and more.

All I want is the truth... and you can all tell me what you think but it doesn't mean its true because you don't know for sure. Only he does and I guess I'll never know. When I come here all I hear is the worst from people who dotn even know what the real truth is. The only thing that can make me happy is knowing that what he says to me is the truth. I would believe it if it weren't for the rest of the world. I believe him until I notice how everyone else is... Could he really be different than them? He seems to think its wrong to find others attractive so would he do it? Maybe you shouldn't answer that. I'm afraid of what I might hear

There are several reasons I can't sleep... wondering this stuff about him is one of them, not being tired (sometimes), then the times I wake up gasping for air, dizzy, and in the middle of a breath that I feel I can't finnish and live through. I practically quit breathing sometimes.

But I am going to try to sleep now but I alrasy can't breathe. Anyway, I'll come back here tomorrow and let you know how things are.

Well I'm here and no one has said anything so I will come back either later or tomorrow

The waking up at night with breathing problems sounds like panic attacks.

(I just got home from work.)

Well that's what my dad kept having happen to him a few years ago when his best friend died around the same time my brother got sent to iraq. And my dads friends was my brothers rotc teacher when my brother was in high school. But I have asthma too. Couldn't that have something to do with it?

i was happier then... i figured he didnt find other girls attractive, he did care about me, i had nothing to worry about.... after comming here you all made me worry more and more and more and more.

All i want is the truth... and you can all tell me what you think but it doesnt mean its true because you dont know for sure. only he does and i guess i'll never know. when i come here all i hear is the worst from ppl who dotn even know what the real truth is. The only thing that can make me happy is knowing that what he says to me is the truth. i would believe it if it werent for the rest of the world. I believe him until i notice how everyone else is... Could he really be different than them? he seems to think its wrong to find others attractive so would he do it? Maybe you shouldnt answer that. I'm afraid of what i might hear

Does anyone have anything to say about this... this is very important to me. But I think maybe I should just deal with it myself because if I don't then yeah pretty much what I just said. I think

Do you have an inhaler? Meds for the asthma?

Yeah I do but when it gets bad enough to where I need my inhaler, that doesn't even help

So what does the doctor say about times like that, when the inhaler doesn't help?

That's not the point though... nothings going to change any of that stuff. It's a waste of time talking about it and I'm going to go for a while to take a shower... I don't know if I will be back tonight or not. I'm kind of tired and I have homework 2 do 2 but I may need your help... its history

So what does the doctor say about times like that, when the inhaler doesn't help?
I don't know I never see my doctor. They say they will make me an apointment when they have time but they never do have time I guess.

Don't you have to get renewals on your meds?

Like once a year I go to the doctor for that. But like I said... talking about it isn't going tgo do anything and I don't want to waste anymore of my time

What else do you have but time, and golly gee whiz, this is all about your health, isn't it??

I really don't want to talk about this and so I'm not going too. Its pointless. Im really healthy. I don't have asthma. I don't have any colds or sinuses. I get a lot of sleep and I eat right. I drink at least 8 glasses of whater a day. I exercise everyday. I'm fine now can I go take a shower, and when I come back can we talk about what I came here to talk about and not something else?

I refuse to theorize if your boyfriend is lying or not and if he flirts with other girls or not and if he means it or not. I'm suddenly having an asthma attack, my sinuses are full, I'm very tired, I'm hungry and thirsty, and I weigh 936 pounds.

Well good luck with that... but if your not going to talk to me about what I came her to talk about then I'm done. I don't want to waste anymore time talking about stuff idc about. I have other things to do. And guess what... I'm getting my license REALLY soon so I can see him more.

I almost ran into a building a few weeks ago though.

i'm getting my lisence REALLY soon so i can see him more.

Thought you didn't care about getting a license and nobody took you out driving anyway.

I wanted to so I could see him but I feel like an idiot when I drive for some reason... or anytime I have to wear my glasses. The second I put them on I can't help but cry and its hard for me to cry anymore... and its my mom that never takes me driving. My dad I hate driving with because he says to turn somewhere and when I turn exactly where he said to turn, al of a sudden that isn't where he wanted me to turn, I was supposed to turn somewhere else. He'll tell me to go to mc donalds and I start driving in that direction and he says that he starts asking where I'm going because he wants to go to burger king. That's just an example. He does that all the time w/ everyone.

Anyway. End of this conversation. Another thing I will not waste anymore time here talking about. I come here only to talk about him. That's my main concern. And that's how I found this site. I don't want to laugh with all of you and tell jokes and talk about what I'm doing and how I'm doing, that doesn't matter. I'm only interested in talking about him. That's the only thing I come here for and if I can't get answers here then I'll quit coming here. I would be sleeping more if I wasn't here now talking about this. If I just simply got the answers and not had to talk about a bunch of other stuff all the time, I would have this all cleared up and nothing left to talk about him. I try to spend as less time on here as possible. And I don't want to talk about all this other stuff it just keeps me up later

Only he can give you answers (we certainly can't speak for him!). And you have to believe what he tells you, or get out of his life and give him a chance to find someone else.

Yeah right (about us keeping you up).

See, he lies... and that last part... about him finding someone else. Please don't ever mention it again. I cry when people I don't even know break up sometimes.
Its just that everyone thinks that stuff is impossible for him to not find another female attractive and if you ask me its NOT impossible. But the whole world thinks it is. I would believe him if it weren't for the rest of the world. So now they have me thinking that he's lying to me and so I think about every thing he says and if it sounds like a lie and a lot does but how do I know for sure? I don't know and I probably never will. So he tells me something and I should believe him? But the whole world would say he's lying. I really felt like he wasn't but now I'm starting to wonder. But only because the rest of the world makes me that way. Who's right? Or should I ask who I should believe instead? Everyone that says he does find other girls attractive just because they do if they are guy and the rest of the world they think is that way. Or should I believe him who is him and knows the truth, but if it is the truth its so unbeilevable.

My husband and I have been married 40 years. He has looked at and admired other women. Big deal. I trust him. I have looked at and admired other men. Big deal. He trusts me.

You would NOT believe your boyfriend (ANY bf) no matter what. You have said that from Day One. Leave him alone and give him some peace. Move on with your life. You are being poison to him.

Who should I believe though? He has said that he doesn't like other girls since day one and back then I wouldn't have cared. But I know he would get mad at me if I liked anyone else.
But I know he cares because now that I think of it... anytime he knows I need something or want something, he gets it for me. It takes him forever but he does. And I would be willing to be with him no matter what. I would like things to be a certain way but if they can't be that way, but they're another way its still better than nothing at all.

i wanted to so i could see him but i feel like an idiot when i drive for some reason... or anytime i have to wear my glasses. The second i put them on i can't help but cry and its hard for me to cry anymore.... and its my mom that never takes me driving. my dad i hate driving with b/c he says to turn somewhere and when i turn exactly where he said to turn, al of a sudden that isnt where he wanted me to turn, i was supposed to turn somewhere else. He'll tell me to go to mc donalds and i start driving in that direction and he says that he starts asking where im going b/c he wants to go to burger king. Thats just an example. he does that all the time w/ everyone.

anyways. end of this conversation. Another thing i will not waste anymore time here talking about. i come here only to talk about him. thats my main concern. and thats how i found this site. i dont wanna laugh with all of you and tell jokes and talk about what i'm doing and how i'm doing, that doesnt matter. im only interested in talking about him. thats the only thing i come here for and if i can't get answers here then i'll quit comming here. i would be sleeping more if i wasnt here now talking about this. if i just simply got the answers and not had to talk about a bunch of other stuff all the time, i would have this all cleared up and nothing left to talk about him. i try to spend as less time on here as possible. and i dont wanna talk about all this other stuff it just keeps me up later

Even if things do work out for you and your boyfriend Michelle, you are still going to need to have your own life. If you revolve everything that you say and do around your boyfriend, then you don't really have your own life. It sounds like he has his own life, and that you are just along for the ride.

No one here can read your boyfriend's mind. We can't speak for him or even guess at what he is thinking. You do need to be speaking with him, rather than spend time here trying to guess what is going on. You have received some very fine answers from people on this site who have cared about you. Have you cared about them in return? You are not likely to find another site such as this where people will take the time to give answers and also care so much.

Do you want to have your own life, Michelle? You are more likely to get along with others better; have better interpersonal relationships with others, such as your boyfriend, if you do have other interests that you are pursuing rather than being completely obsessed with your boyfriend.

Even if things do work out for you and your boyfriend Michelle, you are still going to need to have your own life. If you revolve everything that you say and do around your boyfriend, then you don't really have your own life. It sounds like he has his own life, and that you are just along for the ride.

No one here can read your boyfriend's mind. We can't speak for him or even guess at what he is thinking. You do need to be speaking with him, rather than spend time here trying to guess what is going on. You have received some very fine answers from people on this site who have cared about you. Have you cared about them in return? You are not likely to find another site such as this where people will take the time to give answers and also care so much.

Do you want to have your own life, Michelle? You are more likely to get along with others better; have better interpersonal relationships with others, such as your boyfriend, if you do have other interests that you are pursuing rather than being completely obsessed with your boyfriend.
No one can read his mind but how do I know if I should believe him or someone else when everyone says that he's lying and that every guys going to find other girls attractive and he says that they are all wrong? Its like this worlds against me. They are just out to get me. I would believe him but after a while I start to notice? How can other people find other people attractive when they are with someone? Its not fair. Then I noticed that everyone is like that. THey all say he's lying. So now I begin to wonder if he is. I didn't think so but everyone else is trying to get it in my mind that he is

Ive never had any interests. Unless you count sitting at home all day listening to music so much it became an addiction. At least 8 hours a day before. Started in the 7th grade and now its starting to fade away.

Every guy, no matter if he has a gf/SO/wife or not, will find girls/women attractive.

Are you afraid to talk to him? I mean, about certain things that you want/need to know?

Every guy, no matter if he has a gf/SO/wife or not, will find girls/women attractive.
Even if they are gay? That's what confuses me. If you can like boys or girls, can't you just like one girl?

I am talking about straight males. (Didn't realize I had to get persnickety with my statement.)

Are you afraid to talk to him? I mean, about certain things that you want/need to know?
Sometimes because he won't answer and he'll just get mad and walk away. I e-mailed him and asked him some stuff and he read it and never e-mailed back

I am talking about straight males. (Didn't realize I had to get persnickety with my statement.)
So can't he be like I said then?

Also:

Every guy, no matter if he has a gf/SO/wife or not and likes/loves that gf/SO/wife, will find girls/women attractive.

Every guy? Are you sure that their isn't ANY that aren't like that? Would you say the same about every girl with guys? Because I know that would be wrong.

If they are alive and healthy (both mentally and physically), yes--every single one.

Is that why he would leave me if I liked someone else in any way at all?

Did I say "like"? That's a whole different ballgame.

Your just assuming he does because you look around and that's what you see.

But you don't know him like I do and so how would you know the truth? Just because of what you see everywhere around you?
But does he really have to? No. Does he? I don't know. Do I ? no. Do I have to?no.

I'm going to tell him that I think someone's hot. And yeah it'll be a lie. But just to see the truth about him

Yeah yeah yeah... whatever... when I say like I mean that a word that I hate typing. You know what I mean.

I think Clough is very cool. He and I have become friends. There's no problem with that.

I have many male friends, all ages and some ugly, some handsome, some just so-so.

Originally Posted by Clough
Are you afraid to talk to him? I mean, about certain things that you want/need to know?


sometimes because he won't answer and he'll just get mad and walk away. I e-mailed him and asked him some stuff and he read it and never e-mailed back


Does this happen a lot? If so, how often?

I don't know. It doesn't happen as often as it used to. But if I'm on the phone and I tell him "i wont get mad if you find others attractive if you do just let me know. i dont wanna be lied to" and he just either says "but i dont" in a voice like he only cares about me. Or "can i go now." like he's just tired of it and wants to talk about something else. Then I tell him I just want to know again and then he just says "no i dont now i gotta go bye"
But that's how it WAS. Now I don't know because I don't get to tlak to him enough to know. But things seem to have gotten better.

But mainly because I quit asking him because I believed him... now, I don't know. I'm starting not to believe him. I'm starting to see him lie a lot. Some of it doesn't even make sense. And I'm starting to notice he's always been like that and he's that way to everyone.

So you all tell me to believe him and you even disagree with what he says?

When is the last time that you actually did something with your boyfriend for a date, Michelle?

Well what do you really mean by that? And I haven't seen him out of school since like April or may. He can't talk to me.

What I am getting to is, if you haven't seen him since April or May outside of school, then maybe he might not be someone that you should or would consider to be a boyfriend.

But, I suppose it does depend on what you think a boyfriend should be.

What do you consider a boyfriend to be, Michelle?

Well, we are both waiting for each other and everything is exactly like it was... we talk on the phone once in a great water if he can call... I meant while. (im really tired) but everythings like it was only we can only talk at school. We aren't looking for someone else or anything like that. We are both waiting to be able to hang out

Dear Michelle,

It is very late. We both should be in bed! I'm really tired, also!

I just came on because I was checking my email before going to bed, and noticed that you had responded.

Here is another question for you. How do you know that he is waiting for you?

I'm going to bed, now. I do look forward to your answer later! It was nice to see you answering some other people's posts for a change tonight, also! Please keep doing that! It will help you to get out of the rut that you are in.

Craig

I think Clough is very cool. He and I have become friends. There's no problem with that.

I have many male friends, all ages and some ugly, some handsome, some just so-so.

Does that include me?

Does that include me?

Of course it does! Hey, Joe -- I even adopted you, so charming you are!!

How is everything going today Wondergirl?

It's a nice, but cool, day in Chicagoland. Soon I will turn off the computer to get ready for work (from 1-9). Except for a sore knee, small headache, sensitive tooth, two hangnails, achy low back, arthritic finger, stuffy nose, and increasing myopia, I feel great! Hope you do too.

Wow, I could come up with a long list of things but I won't. Well besides all that your all right.

Emailing you soon after we get back from our trip. Did you get the pictures? Well hope to hear from you soon.

Yes, I got the pictures. They were WONderful! (Didn't you get my response?)

And those were fake ailments. I just wanted you to feel sympathy for me... Well, actually I do have ONE hangnail. Got to deal with that now and get ready for work.

I look forward to more pictures and for you to continue on this thread with your good thoughts.

Dear Michelle,

It is very late. We both should be in bed! I'm really tired, also!

I just came on because I was checking my email before going to bed, and noticed that you had responded.

Here is another question for you. How do you know that he is waiting for you?

I'm going to bed, now. I do look forward to your answer later! It was nice to see you answering some other people's posts for a change tonight, also! Please keep doing that! It will help you to get out of the rut that you are in.

Craig
I don't know anymore... I'm forgeting who he is. What do you think... way to go!! Get me worried about that too now. THank you!

Michelle... here is the truth. Your boyfriend is lying. He doesn't love you. Are you happy now? Can you talk about other things now that this issue is resolved?

Hugs, Didi

Does that include me?

Hey! Craig and you are both my friends too, Joe!! (I wonder what this makes Wondergirl and I in Michelle's eyes? *shudder*)

Hugs, Didi

PS Are you still in PEI or are you back now? How are Proud and your little guy doing?

Didi had an epiphany!!

Didi had an epiphany!!!!

Heh-heh! Yes! Although it wasn't quite as sudden as most. It's been mulling around in my head for awhile, I just hadn't been able to grasp it. :D

Hugs, Didi

Didi had an epiphany!!!!

Peek-a-boo! Does that coincide with my "senior moments" that I seem to have so frequently?

When did you have a senior moment, Clough?? We should post Didi's comment in answer to every time Michelle posts.

When did you have a senior moment, Clough????

If Didi had an epiphany, then you might like to know that I am the epitome of senior moments. They happen all of the time! Now, where's my Aricept.. :confused: :confused: :confused:

We should post Didi's comment in answer to every time Michelle posts.

Probably so...

It was good to see her posting things on some other threads. That was encouraging news to me to find out!

Clough, you're not even old yet. How could you possibly have senior moments??

Michelle is slowly but surely coming around.

Hey! Craig and you are both my friends too, Joe!!!! (I wonder what this makes Wondergirl and I in Michelle's eyes? *shudder*)

Hugs, Didi

PS Are you still in PEI or are you back now? How are Proud and your little guy doing?


Group hug...



((((((((((((((((((((US))))))))))))))))))))

:D

Michelle is slowly but surely coming around.

I think she has made some wonderful gains lately! I'm proud of her. I know it hasn't been easy.

Hugs, Didi

Clough, you're not even old yet. How could you possibly have senior moments????

Eh.. What's that you say?

Let me turn up my hearing aid a bit now...

How do you know? I just might be a troll trying to fool all of you? :D

How do you know? I just might be a troll trying to fool all of you?! :D

Ummmm... errrr... you mean you are only 15?? :eek:

I think she has made some wonderful gains lately! I'm proud of her. I know it hasn't been easy.

Hugs, Didi

I agree with you 100%, Didi! :)

Hey! I said it first about Michelle! Another senior moment, Clough??

Michelle moans when we are not here, and she's all alone.

Ummmm... errrr... you mean you are only 15???? :eek:

14 to be exact... :D How did you know? :confused: I thought that I disguised myself pretty well! Maybe they might start putting the Troll avatar on me now! Eeeeeeek!

(Gotta go right now and get one of the dogs that is outside and making noise in the neighborhood... )

My cats are asleep. Don't the dogs realize it's 1:30 in the morning??

My cats are asleep. Don't the dogs realize it's 1:30 in the morning????

I really screw up their schedule when I am here! I know, bad me! :(

Do these dogs KNOW you from other times?

Well, I just emailed my second story this week. The first (snail-mailed) was to a reputable writers' contest, with first prize $500. The one I just emailed has already been accepted by a magazine, but I rewrote the ending. It's much better now. My cyber son in Japan (doesn't speak real good English so we email a lot and he wanted to read the story for practice) gave me the key to a new ending.

Now I have to finish my third story and mail it out. It's due by Dec 3--$3000 first prize in a reputable magazine search for writers.

If only we could get Michelle involved in something like this, something outside herself and something she likes doing.

If only we could get Michelle involved in something like this, something outside herself and something she likes doing.

We have tried. But, she has made choices... Some of the energy in making the choices that she has made might have been better spent on other things. It's obvious that she is very creative!.

Well, I just emailed my second story this week. The first (snail-mailed) was to a reputable writers' contest, with first prize $500. The one I just emailed has already been accepted by a magazine, but I rewrote the ending. It's much better now. My cyber son in Japan (doesn't speak real good English so we email a lot and he wanted to read the story for practice) gave me the key to a new ending.

Now I have to finish my third story and mail it out. It's due by Dec 3--$3000 first prize in a reputable magazine search for writers.

If only we could get Michelle involved in something like this, something outside herself and something she likes doing.

This is awesome, Wondergirl! Do you have a literary agent? Have you won any contests before? I am looking for an agent for my book. I'm so afraid of scams that I don't submit to contests anymore. I found that most of them were for vanity publishers to 'recruit' more writers. I haven't had anything published in over 25 years because I lost my focus. Most of that was just small time stuff, anyhow.

Good luck in the contests!

Hugs, Didi

A CA small press assigned me to write and then published four books, plus The Chicago Historical Society published a long article another librarian and I wrote about a major Chicago landmark (no one had ever approached it from our point of view before, and CHS liked that).

I have no agent.

Start writing again, Didi. What's your book about? (I know from your posts here that you're a good writer!) If you have questions, email me.

And I wasn't on yesterday because I went to sleep at like 5pm and the day before I went to sleep at like 5 am... it's that big of a difference everyday

Actually now if I'm not with him I don't care as much because I at least have my iPod to live for now. But him and my iPod are all I'm really living for. Pretty sad isn't it? But I got to go put more songs on it

Dear Michelle,

Please read what others have written here recently. What do you think about some of the things that have been written?

Thank you! :)

Actually now if i'm not with him i dont care as much because i atleast have my ipod to live for now. But him and my ipod are all i'm really living for. Pretty sad aint it? but i gotta go put more songs on it
I hope you pick some good songs... music does wonders for the soul sweet! Hugs to you!:)

I love music.. All kinds. I don't want to but I just do

Musics all I need in this world... and my boyfriend.