OK here's my story and I no its going to make me sound like a big wusss but I just want to be honest with myself from now on. I am 28 and my girlfriend I guess ex now is 22 we have been dating for 2yrs months we have out normal difference and arguments we are pretty different her mother makes excellent money and is able to buy her anything she wants pretty much. So she's use to a lot of high end things I make a OK salary 56, 000 and can't keep up with a lot of that stuff and it is a strain on me that I can do that when I no that's what's she need or is use to. That's only one small part of it I mean that's not always on my mind but enough to start a fight over it now and than. Others things are arguments over things she does that gets me mad and me doing things to spite her you no the little games that are played sometimes. The last few weeks I feel like there's something different in the way we interact with each other and talk and hang out. For example she can stay out all nigt when she with her friends but iif were not doing anything like movies eating or constantly moving she wants to be around other people or go home. And that all makes me think and then the money thing comes in to play and we arguee.. Today I picked her up from school and we went to the farms she slept the whole way up there and we bickered a bit. While there we boughtthings for her friends I made a comment are we getting any money back for this and she started with a attitude and that got us into a argument so after speaking about it for 10 minutes I asked is it your not happy and that's just it and she said no and I kept going on like I wanted her to say that's she's not happy. After a but she did say that she does not see a future with me and so on. And how she is miserable sometimes and how she's in love with me and all that. We finally got to the point were we were broken up. And it was by her now we have a 2hr ride home we were talking crying and all that. So now she said were better as friends and I told her I can't to that it would be to hard on me and she said OK but I want to still come to the dr appt with you on Friday I have to have some stiches taken out. I also said no to that cause it is really going to be hard. Most of my friends moved far away a few of them overdosed on drugs and the rest I don't no were they are so her friends were pretty much my friends so I really don't have no one to talk to I made friends with like 15 guys and girls from there. And anway not only do I not feel OK talking to them still ecspecially about her. I don't want to pull family in yet cause I'm to upset.. soooo I don't no what to do how to handle this or even how am I going to stopp myself from calling were do I turn..

Sorry for the long unmaly story any advice would be great

Anyone


?

Hay chris. I wrote u a personal message.

ok heres my story and i no its going to make me sound like a big wusss but i just wanna be honest with myself from now on.

Being honest with yourself is the furtherest thing from being a wuss.


I am 28 and my girlfriend i guess ex now is 22 we have been dating for 2yrs months we have out normal difference and arguments we are pretty different her mother makes excellent money and is able to buy her anything she wants pretty much. so shes use to alot of high end things i make a ok salery 56, 000 and can't keep up with alot of that stuff and it is a strain on me that i can do that when i no thats whats she need or is use to.

Let's cut the BS. She's a spoiled. That being said, do you live in NYC or something? Because $56,000 is good salary, especially (I'm assuming) with no child expenses to pay for.


That's only one small part of it i mean thats not always on my mind but enough to start a fight over it now and than. others things are arguments over things she does that gets me mad and me doing things to spite her you no the little games that are played sometimes. The last few weeks i feel like theres something different in the way we interact with each other and talk and hang out. For example she can stay out all nigt when she with her friends but iif were not doing anything like movies eating or constantly moving she wants to be around other people or go home.

She's doing or did in this case what is called letting herself down easy. She saw the break up coming and instead of just ending where by she would have a void she kept you around and slowly let herself down emotionally.


And that all makes me think and then the money thing comes in to play and we arguee..

Even though she is spoiled this had nothing to do with money and more to do with you second guessing yourself all the time. You let your insecurities drive your arguments and if you start an argument with a woman based on your own insecurities she's going to take notice, and to be honest you got off very lucky because most women would actually use your own insecurities against you. If you tell a woman that you not good enough then at some point she's going to start saying to herself, “If he says he's not good enough, then why not find somebody who is?”



Today i picked her up from school and we went to the farms she slept the whole way up there and we bickered a bit. while there we boughtthings for her friends i made a comment are we getting any money back for this and she started with a attitude and that got us into a argument

Okay I'm confused here.

First why would you even say such a comment? It makes you look insecure and greedy which is not going to be attractive to her.

Second, why is she using your money to buy her friends gifts? Tell her to spend her own money. It's like you want her to be happy so you offer her as much money as you can, but then you get mad at yourself so instead of facing your own issues of insecurity about the money issue you get mad at her friends of all people, who probably don't even realize this is going on.

The issue is with you and in this regard you have to quit being the “big wuss” and put your foot down and say, “I'm not buying it” or “If you want so and so to have that pay for it yourself.” Women are going to ask you questions like this at various times just to test you and see what they can get from you anyway. You don't have to be a prick about it, you just have to say “No, I'm not buying it.”


so after speaking about it for 10 mins i asked is it ur not happy and thats just it and she said no and i kept going on like i wanted her to say thats shes not happy. After a but she did say that she does not see a future with me and so on. And how she is miserable sometimes and how shes in love with me and all that. we finally got to the point were we were broken up. And it was by her now we have a 2hr ride home we were talking crying and all that.

Believe me, I am not trying to mock you for this but you can not cry in front of a woman over a break up. It's not right, but they think it means your weak and it makes you look bad in their eyes. If she already doubted the relationship as we know she did, having a emotional cry with her ex wasn't going to bring any kind spark back that she would want.


So now she said were better as friends and i told her i can't to that it would be to hard on me and she said ok but i wanna still come to the dr appt with u on friday i have to have some stiches taken out.

Why would she want to come to that?


I also said no to that cause it is really going to be hard. Most of my friends moved far away a few of them overdosed on drugs and the rest i dont no were they are so her friends were pretty much my friends so i really dont have noone to talk to i made friends with like 15 guys and girls from there. and anway not only do i not feel ok talking to them still ecspecially about her.

Well, I don't encourage holding everything in, telling her friends is never a good idea and I agree with you that it would only bring more drama to the situation.


I dont wanna pull family in yet cause im to upset.. soooo i dont no what to do how to handle this or even how am i going to stopp myself from calling were do i turn..

Sorry for the long unmaly story any advice would be great

Well I think you have to NOT call her. She wanted the break up so you have to honor it. At this time find some short term goals and start striving towards them. Start working out. Take your focus off her.

Hi Chuff, you hold great wisdom. Very conforting words of encouragment and I am really going to try not to speak with her it is going to be hard but that is what it is. O and yes I live in brooklyn NY and its expensive to live ughhhhhhhhhhhhh o man its killing me. I love this girl and I do feel it might be time to move on. It just the starting over from friend to everythingd else we went away with her friends from skiing camping, hiking, movies you name it I feel like I'm starting over. But on a positive note I already made plans for breakfeast 2morow with a old buddy we will see what happens from here.

:)

Give it time she will MISS you thaats right MISS YOU... and if she doesn't well she isn't that into you amyway...

No your righttttt that's what I'm fighting to do no contact that's my goal

Okie so today was the first day that I have not talked to my ex I kept buisy all day even buisy a few times I felt saddened . One thing I could say is I haven't had much of a urge to call her yet... I did start to doubt myself saying I'm not going to call and then if I don't will she think I don't care?? Or if I call would I be a wuss and make thinga worse but point heere is that I didn't call but I do feel pretty down a few times today... :)

Okie so today was the first day that I have not talked to my ex I kept buisy all day even buisy a few times I felt saddened . One thing I could say is I haven't had much of a urge to call her yet... I did start to doubt myself saying I'm not going to call and then if I don't will she think I don't care?? Or if I call would I be a wuss and make thinga worse but point heere is that I didn't call but I do feel pretty down a few times today...

i did start to doubt myself saying im not going to call and then if i dont will she think i dont care ??? or if i call would i be a wuss and make thinga worse but point heere is that i dint call but i do feel pretty down a few times today.....

What was the breakup situation like? Who broke up with who?

If you are not together anymore I don't see why you would care if she cares.

What was the breakup situation like? Who broke up with who?

If you are not together anymore I dont see why you would care if she cares.
Well a few reason it was mutual at first but I thinkk on my part it was a test and when we actually broke up I panicked o and I have a previos post that explains more thanks for the advice

Since being friends was mentioned I don't see anything wrong with you calling her, as long as you are not calling her too much. I talk to my friends on the phone about once a week. I don't think it would make you look like a wuss, but rather that you are just trying to be her friend.

**EDIT** - Next time you do call her, if she reacts as if you don't care about her because you haven't called her in a few days, ask her exactly what she wants, and how often she wants you two to speak. Sometimes to know what a person is thinking, you just have to ask. :)

Ok, here is your other post so others know what we are talking about : https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/breakup-guidence-134200.html

Since being friends was mentioned I dont see anything wrong with you calling her, as long as you are not calling her too much. I talk to my friends on the phone about once a week. I dont think it would make you look like a wuss, but rather that you are just trying to be her friend.

**EDIT** - Next time you do call her, if she reacts as if you dont care about her because you havent called her in a few days, ask her exactly what she wants, and how often she wants you two to speak. Sometimes to know what a person is thinking, you just have to ask. :)

You I hear you but see the thing is I don't want to be a secuirty blanket you no like I don't want her to think that we can be friends and let her do what she wants I think that will make it harder how can I move on if we speak and she still does her thing. See I'm really trying to make myself get over this easier but I just don't no what to do I'm so confused

Mate she is confusing you. You are not the one who is confused so cut all contact let her no a break meand exactly that BREAK UP!! NO LONGER TOGETHER! NO LONGER SPEAKING SIMPEL Don't let love cloud your judgement and don't let her talk to youu she just wants to do that till she has had enough

Hey man I am going through a pretty similar situation, don't have any advice for you but just saying that you are not alone. I am confused and hurt as hell, I wish we could all just be happy with those that we love. Good luck

ya i hear u but see the thing is i dont want to be a secuirty blanket ya no like i dont want her to think that we can be friends and let her do what she wants i think that will make it harder how can i move on if we speak and she still does her thing. see im really trying to make myself get over this easier but i just dont no what to do im soo confused

If you want to get over it, then it might be best if you just stopped talking to her. I know what you mean about being a security blanket, and you should not have to be anyones security blanket.

Talk to her whenever you are ready and whenever you feel like it, and if you never feel like it, you might be better off.

Trust us and you'll even find it on several posts here from people who caved in and made the call. YOU DO NOT WANT TO CALL. Your brain which loves to pass time with imagination and imagergy will dream up scenrios where this will work out and you'll live happily ever after... yet the moment, the very moment you call you'll know it's a mistake. It's like people who have attempted suicide from jumping from a bridge or building. The ones that survive always say the moment they jumped they realized what a mistake they had just made. Well calling her is committing emotional suicide.

Also in that above post you admit and talk about the negative but look at the positive and focus on it. You just proved to yourself that you can go a day without talking to her. You have some momentum. Not a lot but enough. Now all you have to do is go another day. If tomorrow you feel like you can't do that then just go for the hour. You have done well so far so give yourself credit and keep focusing on the good you have and have accomplished.

Trust us and you'll even find it on several posts here from people who caved in and made the call. YOU DO NOT WANT TO CALL. Your brain which loves to pass time with imagination and imagergy will dream up scenrios where this will work out and you'll live happily ever after....yet the moment, the very moment you call you'll know it's a mistake. It's like people who have attempted suicide from jumping from a bridge or building. The ones that survive always say the moment they jumped they realized what a mistake they had just made. Well calling her is committing emotional suicide.

Also in that above post you admit and talk about the negative but look at the positive and focus on it. You just proved to yourself that you can go a day without talking to her. You have some momentum. Not a lot but enough. Now all you have to do is go another day. If tomorrow you feel like you can't do that then just go for the hour. You have done well so far so give yourself credit and keep focusing on the good you have and have accomplished.

Ahhh man is that trueeeee I have to keep reading this when I want to call it enpowers me no I have to occupy my time its mostly mental cause I was with her a lot but was alone a lot as well all the time she spends with her friends and trust me it is a lot of time. Sooo I was just going with the fact she was in my head and all and felt confort in that and didn't complainb when she went out and all well let me no blaber on but please keep that talk commin

You have made a good decision with no contact, and that alone will cut the confusion, which will allow you to better see things in a realistic light. Check out the links to the sticky's in my signature for some really good insights. In the meantime focus on your own life and issues.

If you want to get over it, then it might be best if you just stopped talking to her. I know what you mean about being a security blanket, and you should not have to be anyones security blanket.

Talk to her whenever you are ready and whenever you feel like it, and if you never feel like it, you might be better off.

Yea the reason I don't want to call or anything is because I don't want to go backwards but its hard I'm pretty depressed.

Don't be depressed hun (I know its hard, but try). This is part of the break up process. You have to re-adjust yourself and your life and get yourself used to it being just you, not you and her. For some people, breaking up is a quick process, and for others it can take a lot of time to get used to it.

If you feel that calling her is a step in the wrong direction, then you know that calling her wouldn't be a good idea. You want to move forward, not backward. :)

2nd day now still no call and not bad urges thinking about her today but talked and hung out with family had a nice day

Well good for you! I'm glad you had a nice time with family! Just remember to take it one step at a time. :)

I no and I'm so impatient lol

I know how that feels, I'm an impatient person too sometimes :p

Just keep your mind on other things. Hanging out with family today was a good idea. Keep doing things like that. You can do it!

yea the reason i dont wanna call or anything is because i dont wanna go backwards but its hard im pretty depressed.

Start working out. If you can get a gym membership, if you can't afford one go for a run or just a walk. Exercise release endorphins inside your brain which make you feel better. Plus working out helps you sleep and focus.

Also watch comedy movies or stand up comedians. Put yourself in a situation where you will be laughing or where at least there are funny things coming into your head.

The problem most people have when it comes to dealing with depressing situations like a break up is they stop and focus on it so much they lose track of all the good things around them. It's vital that you put that in your life right now. I'm not saying you won't think about her or the break up but I'm saying that it will help alleviate the thoughts and the pain over the next few weeks and months.

Start working out. If you can get a gym membership, if you can't afford one go for a run or just a walk. Exercise release endorphins inside your brain which make you feel better. Plus working out helps you sleep and focus.

Also watch comedy movies or stand up comedians. Put yourself in a situation where you will be laughing or where at least there are funny things coming into your head.

The problem most people have when it comes to dealing with depressing situations like a break up is they stop and focus on it so much they lose track of all the good things around them. It's vital that you put that in your life right now. I'm not saying you won't think about her or the break up but I'm saying that it will help alleviate the thoughts and the pain over the next few weeks and months.

Yes I hhave a member ship and I'm starting once I get back to work mon or tues :) can't sleep too much now I wake up and think and then can't go back to sleep :( we will see 1 day at a time

This is my 3rd day no contact and I can't stop thinking what's wrong with me my g/f was not happy with me and I no its not going to work sooo why is it so dam hard anyway?? Ughhhhhhhh

OK hun, if u know its not ganna work out y stay wit her? Your young, go for diff girls, there's a lot more. My boyfriend n me just broke up yesterday (no lie) he wanted his x and I wasn't letting him touch me either, yea we kissed n held hands but he wanted (more) which I wasn't willing to give him. She might not be ready for that yet. Talk to her. Not in front of your friends or hers, pull her to the side n talk to her aobut it. Trust me, if u don't, it'll b awkward.lol.
<3,
~a concerned 15 year old friend~

Wednesday will be one week for no contact but today she texted me cause she waanted her things dropped off so we spoke a bit and I will drop her stuff off at a friends house 2 day or early this week I'm kind of depressed about that but its over I gues and that's just that :(

I'm sorry you have to go through that, returning the other person's things can be heartbreaking.

Is she going to be at the friends house when you drop her things off?

I'm sorry you have to go through that, returning the other person's things can be heartbreaking.

Is she going to be at the friends house when you drop her things off?
No she will not be there... :(

Well that's actually a good thing. Seeing her face to face, in person, could just stir up all of those sad emotions all over again.

I am proud of you for going so long without contact. It will get better soon, all of this is just part of the breakup process :)

What have you been doing to keep yourself busy and your mind off this?

hello im new to this site but i stumbled upon your Question im sorry to hear about you n your grl im sure it hurts when your with someone that long but you have to look at it this way everything happens for a reason....i know thats not something you wanna hear but hunny its true....but the thing that gets me the most is that you said her family is pretty wealthy right well she knew coming in to this that you arent as fortunate to have a wealthy family and that money just doesnt grow in ya backyard and if she really cares for you then she would be willing to sacrifice a few things that she wants because its exactly that a want not a need....now for the coping part hunny you need to get out and meet new ppl jus to chill wit and get to know grlz and guys dont jus sit around worrying wether you should call her or worry about her live your life theres alot of cool ppl out there try the net ive met a lot of ppl from the computer and i have a ton of friends its really cool because i can go on lil vaca. and know ive got some where to stay and ill alwayz have ppl to turn to ya know well i hope this makes you feel a lil better if not sorry =( jus remember there is alwayz other fish in the sea lol well you have a good day .......................
~! PeAcE ReTtA

Well thats actually a good thing. Seeing her face to face, in person, could just stir up all of those sad emotions all over again.

I am proud of you for going so long without contact. It will get better soon, all of this is just part of the breakup process :)

What have you been doing to keep yourself busy and your mind off of this?


Well I text her back a few times about feelings and all I even said I care for her allot. I did not say that I need her back at least. I will drop all her things off tonight at her friends house. The way I have been dealing with it is staying with family I don't have much friends that I want to stay with now there in different places then me so I'm doing the family thing at this point. What I really want to do no is start meeting new friends I live in brooklyn ny and there a lot of cool new people to meet just got to start putting myself out there that the hard part...

hello im new to this site but i stumbled upon your Question im sorry to hear about you n your grl im sure it hurts when your with someone that long but you have to look at it this way everything happens for a reason....i know thats not something you wanna hear but hunny its true....but the thing that gets me the most is that you said her family is pretty wealthy right well she knew coming in to this that you arent as fortunate to have a wealthy family and that money just doesnt grow in ya backyard and if she really cares for you then she would be willing to sacrifice a few things that she wants because its exactly that a want not a need....now for the coping part hunny you need to get out and meet new ppl jus to chill wit and get to know grlz and guys dont jus sit around worrying wether you should call her or worry about her live your life theres alot of cool ppl out there try the net ive met a lot of ppl from the computer and i have a ton of friends its really cool because i can go on lil vaca. and know ive got some where to stay and ill alwayz have ppl to turn to ya know well i hope this makes you feel a lil better if not sorry =( jus remember there is alwayz other fish in the sea lol well you have a good day .......................
Thanks for the positive thought. I wanted to say that she did sacrifice some things I don't think she intended this to work out this way it sort of just did I guess when your accustemed to certain things or a life style that's what your use to and expect... Or maybee she's just really not into me as much as I thought. At this point I'm pretty convinced its over I have not completely excepted it yet but I understand and I still do not even hate her. I don't no if that will change but I can honestly say I love her and that's it. I feel stronger when I talk about it or write about it. I am scared of being alone not for ever but right now I am. And like I said many times I really need to put myself out there to meet new friends I'm kind of shy and have a hard time sparking conversations once I get to no someone I'm pretty good at it but. It's the starting I have a problem with... I love all the advice I have been getting and yes it is definitely helping...

Well i text her back a few times about feelings and all i even said i care for her allot. I did not say that i need her back at least. I will drop all her things off tonight at her friends house. The way i have been dealing with it is staying with family i dont have much friends that i wanna stay with now there in different places then me so im doing the family thing at this point. what i really wanna do no is start meeting new friends i live in brooklyn ny and there alot of kewl new people to meet just gotta start putting myself out there that the hard part.....

Well good luck, I hope you make lots of new friends.

Just stay on the right track and you will start to feel better soon. :)

Just wanted to let everyone what is helping me me and girlfriend broke up on Wednesday with contact she finally texted me today to ask for me to drop her things off to a friends house. So I did that today after we text back and forth a few time I was saddened and depressed for a few hours then I came on this site and got some assistance andt t it helped some and after that I went to Google and did a search for "how to get over a break up" tons of info came up here is one for example How to Get Over a Bad Break Up - wikiHow (http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Bad-Break-Up) there are a lot more please do not pay for any all the free ones I read already helped a ton... here is a small line I got from one of the sites "Listen to a song that makes you feel empowered and happy. Make it your new anthem for your new life. (Try "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor or "Go Your Own Way," by Fleetwood Mac, or "I'm Still Standing", by Elton John, or "Ruby Red" by Jann Arden.) Do it as often as you need to" reading on those sites made me feel like a million bucks I feel good at this moment and hope this continues. Hope all is feeling well through these hard timessss.

I'm so glad you found something to help you! Good job! I am so happy you are feeling better!

I'm so glad you found something to help you!! Good job!! I am so happy you are feeling better!
Got to try everything don't want to fall life is good

Well good luck, I hope you make lots of new friends.

Just stay on the right track and you will start to feel better soon. :)

Hey another day gone and I'm still here wooppie had a few difficult hours but I got thhrouhhg them talking on the phone for hours jeez thank got lol

You seem like you are coming along just fine! Keep it up! Soon you will be better 100%! :)

Yes I agreee I feel beter still more to go its back and for with sad bouts but not all day long at least

I peeps today makes a week me and my ex are broke up. IM a 28 male and have posted a lot before this about my situation. Monday she texted me about her thhing so I dropped them all off at her friends house. Im going through highs and lows. Today as in the las week I woke up 2 hours before I had to and felt like crap I started crying and stopped a few times. Last few days was like a rollercoaster but I still did the NC thing . Are these feelings normal crying and all week later just thinking about her?? Is she thinking and feeling like me or am I a big baby

She is the arrogant high maintenance type that thinks she's gods gift to man...

Rule #1. Avoid women who expect you to buy their love. Hookers are cheaper.

Rule #2. Only date women who aren't obsessed by money, trust me there are plenty of them. Unless you are happy being their sugar daddy for now avoid them.

I know the type, none of them are worth your time OR money. Like I said, if you need to buy someone's love get an Escort. They are cheaper and at least you know what you are getting and when.

Work on finding new friends. Its not really hard.

It sounds like you need to get involved in some activities to get your mind off her... that will certainly help. Get way involved into something...

Its totally normal. You will go through this quite a bit over the next month or two. Like ConfusedandLost said throw yourself into activities and other stuff so that way your focus isn't on her so much. Its hard I know. Your focus has been on this girl for your whole relationship so its just learning how to be on your own again which takes time.

Its totally normal. you will go through this quite a bit over the next month or two. Like ConfusedandLost said throw yourself into activities and other stuff so that way your focus isn't on her so much. Its hard I know. Your focus has been on this girl for your whole relationship so its just learning how to be on your own again which takes time.


Okie good I think its even harder cause I have the feeling she's not hurting the same way.

Okie good i think its even harder cause i have the feeling shes not hurting the same way.
Now I don't want to sound crewl or mean but I gave my all I guess it wasn't good enough but I no it was only 30% my fault it didn't work. Now its getting back out there looking for new friends hey anyone from here live around brooklyn ny??

Your right its just so hard to know that someone who loves you could just not be happy cause you coudnt buy them or take them out to certain places... why is love so hard

ur right its just so hard to know that someone who loves u could just not be happy cause u coudnt buy them or take them out to certain places.......... why is luv so hardI know women that date guys just so they can get stuff... trust me... they aren't hard to spot. Love isn't hard to find if you aren't giving the wrong signals.

Okie good i think its even harder cause i have the feeling shes not hurting the same way.

That's normal. One person is always hurting more then the other and the person who hurts WANTS the other person to hurt just as bad if not worse.

Okie all so today is day 8 that me and my ex are broken up, and the mornings when I wake up usually suck the most. My whole trip to work is sad. I think about what we did and what we won't be doing anymore. I still have held out on calling and texting we only made contact one time when she contacted me for her stuff this Monday. I just feel week today I just got to work and I do feel a bit better but the loneliness is there I feel somewhat empty and I can't get her out of my head today she's probably going to her aunts house for a holiday and there is her single cousin who just broke up as well and she has been dating so of course my crazy imagionation tells me she's going to sleep there hang out and go look for men with her cousin. I understand this shoudnt bother me but I can help the thoughts I can so far fighht the urge for contact by keeping buisy but I can't stand being alone and its kind of hard to stay with people 24/7 escpecially when I live alone... tips adviceeeee?? Anyone here from the ny area??

Thats normal. One person is always hurting more then the other and the person who hurts WANTS the other person to hurt just as bad if not worse.

Why does it have to be me!! 1 everyone says she's is going to regret this and soon give in and call I think that's just giving me false hope even her friends mom I called her yesterday and she told me I think she's going to miss you in a few days and call you and telling me how that will not be the right thing... hard times!!

why does it have to be me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 everyone sayz shes is going to regret this and soon give in and call i think thats just giving me false hope even her friends mom i called her yesterday and she told me i think shes going to miss u in a few days and call u and telling me how that will not be the right thing.............hard times!!!!

Put an end to that. Tell everyone that you appreciate it but no more speaking about her you need to move on with your life and if everyone keeps talking about her and how she will come back you will stay stuck.

Sure she might regret it and come back but chances are that it will happen AFTER you've already moved on.

Put an end to that. Tell everyone that you appreciate it but no more speaking about her you need to move on with your life and if everyone keeps talking about her and how she will come back you will stay stuck.

Sure she might regret it and come back but chances are that it will happen AFTER you've already moved on.


I no your right in my heart of hearts I feel the same thing that when she relizes what I did for her and what I was willing to do she will see what I was all about. And unfortantly I think it will take her being with anopther guy to see that and that's what really sucks :( but that's the way it might have to be

But you know what Chris - you aren't living your life for HER you live your life for YOU.

If she thinks she made a mistake 6 months from now chances are you will be on with your life and happy without her.

Ever seen the movie Swingers? I swear it should be required viewing for guys post breakup. It's the way the universe works that the ex doesn't come back until you are totally over them and moved on.

Honestly would you really want her back? She walked away from you and for what? When someone is willing to walk away let 'em.

I know how you feel. I'm going through that myself, and almost the same time frame. It's hard to see her moving on, doing her own things, while your world has stopped. BUT remember that time doesn't stop for anyone, even though it seems like it has stopped for you. This is going to be easier said than done, our mind can only carry 1 thought at a time, so try to think of something else vividly and that might help preoccupy your mind. It's normal to replay everything, I'm stuck on repeat as well. It's a greiving process, and find some solice that you are not the only one to experience this. Keep your head up.

Find something that you always wanted to do and dive right in head first. I went through and still am going through the same about 3 months ago. For example I am learning to play the guitar, became a volunteer fireman, I hang out with my friends and co-workers a lot etc... You just have to eliminate thoughts of what could have been, what is she up to, why did she do what she did, etc. I will slowly destroy you and you will become a person that no one wants to be around and not even know it. Remember life is totally in YOUR control, if you want to be happy you can be... if you want to be sad you will be.

Time heals everything, you have to let go and accept that it is over. That is half of the battle. You will get through it... we all do. If your in the Albany area let me know :)

I know how you feel. I'm going through that myself, and almost the same time frame. It's hard to see her moving on, doing her own things, while your world has stopped. BUT remember that time doesn't stop for anyone, even though it seems like it has stopped for you. This is going to be easier said than done, our mind can only carry 1 thought at a time, so try to think of something else vividly and that might help preoccupy your mind. It's normal to replay everything, I'm stuck on repeat as well. It's a greiving process, and find some solice that you are not the only one to experience this. Keep your head up.
Dam that was posittive, thanks. So your in the same situation, I also no there are other like us but it just feels so weird... and its almost a physical pain its amazing how the human mind could work and hurts us at times.

But you know what Chris - you aren't living your life for HER you live your life for YOU.

if she thinks she made a mistake 6 months from now chances are you will be on with your life and happy without her.

Ever seen the movie Swingers? I swear it should be required viewing for guys post breakup. Its the way the universe works that the ex doesn't come back until you are totally over them and moved on.

Honestly would you really want her back? She walked away from you and for what? When someone is willing to walk away let 'em.
Yes I hear you and your right. Im just scared of loneliness and change. I'm still fighting don't get me wrong and no I don't want to be with someone who is not content. This feeling is just consuming. I am a worry worth to begin with I need a way to relax and just not think about it. And I gues if she did come back after I was over her it could be cause maybee she tried other relationships that didn't work and she wants to settle for me now or even just needs someone and it could still be temporay I guess and not be a foreva thing. Everyone is telling me its not her or my fault she just needs to find and figure herself out. I believe that to ./

Okie so I'm still alive, the sun still comes up, I still eat I still have family and so on and so on. I no all these things and don't get me wrong I'm so greatfull. I would always give my right arm to become to me I want to be. I would love to walk into a place and meet to people to instead of waiting for someone to approach me I would like to approach them. I would love to get another shot with my ex. But since that's a pipe ddream id rather do something great for myself and make myself a much better person in the meantime. Although sometime so simple sounding really is one of the biggest challenges in my life. I had a lot of crazy things happen to me that most people never experienced but meeting new people and being the center of attention is my weak spot and I would love to be there. Each day that goes by since my split 8 days ago I walk away with more knowledge. The 64, 0000$ question is when does this utter loneliness go away and how to I break out of my shy shell to meet to fun people guys as well as girls...

The loneliness goes away whenever you make it go away. You have two options, either A. sit around thinking about the past, making yourself even more lonely, or B. get up and go out and do something about it.

Breaking out of your shell is actually quite easy, you just need to build up the courage to talk to people. Go to some of your favorite places to hang out; whether it be clubs, bars, pool hall (I love playing pool.. lol), etc. Just find someone and start talking to them. I know I make it sound simple, and its really not all that simple, but you just have to build up that courage. Sometimes you can make friends even when you least expect it, like at the grocery store, doctor, etc. You just have to keep your eye open for interesting people, and spark up a conversation when you see some.

I know you can do it, just try. :)

okie so today was the first day that i have not talked to my ex i kept buisy all day even buisy a few times i felt saddened . one thing i could say is i havnt had much of a urge to call her yet.... i did start to doubt myself saying im not going to call and then if i dont will she think i dont care ??? or if i call would i be a wuss and make thinga worse but point heere is that i dint call but i do feel pretty down a few times today.....Take it one day at a time... then the next thing you know a month has passed and the urge isn't as strong. Then 6 months and you wonder why you were ever so upset.

Yes I am opening myself up to new things that's what I have to do. ITs going to be fun I no once I get out there. I got to stop feeling bad for myself first step ASAP

Did you read the links in my signature??

Dam that was posittive, thanks. So ur in teh same situation, i also no there are other like us but it just feels so weird...........and its almost a physical pain its amazing how the human mind could work and hurts us at times.

It's crazy to find out how many others experiencing this same situation. Not everyone stumbles across this site when they search for advice.

Our minds are more powerful than we realize. I haven't had an appetite since IT happened. I only eat because I know I need to eat. It seems like a curse because of all the pain we are experiencing, but think how you can use this to make yourself happy and better. I mean better in terms of taking care of yourself and picking yourself off the ground, don't lay there and expect it will bring her back.

As hard as it may seem, it does get better, whether small or big steps each day. It's going to hurt, but we will get through this. You aren't alone.

me and girlfriend

Married 5 years and my name isn't on the mortgage

Please clear up my confusion.

Please clear up my confusion.



Your guess is as good as mine someone used my name I don't no who posted that comment and I can't delete its I have been on a lot of computers recently and I'm thinking I left something signed on somewere but what's weird is someone actually posted something nothing surprices me after what's going on with me anyway...

Okie so yesterday I alos actually fumbled gave in and called my ex. Instead I went out to uno had a few beers and there were a few buddies I ran into and hung out with. So that worked out well thanks god. I think whatt it is that's really bothering nothing is the same for me and I'm having a hard time adapting I don't want to ruin my life but I need to control this... just need to stop thinking about her what's she's doing were she's going ughhhhh I'm so tired of it...

Chris... it is always hard when you lose someone you love. No one will ever say it is going to be easy, if it was easy then there was never any love there to begin with. The thing you have to do is to accept that it is over and that all this extra "time" you have is meant for YOU. To work on yourself, improving and exploring a life without her. You are going to drive yourself to the edges of insanity if you continue thinking about her and what she is up to. Take up some new activities :) Stop making this time about her...

Okie so I'm going to just have to stop talking about her cause I'm starting to break I'm losing it and the urge to call now is worse so I'm beating myself to insainity and it must stop now... ughhhhhhhhhhh so I have to stop wondering and thinking...

Every time she enters your thoughts get busy with a chore. Or exercise, polish the nike's, any action that changes your focus for a while.

Ok so here goes today is my 10th day me and my ex are broken up. She texted me this Monday for all her things and I dropped them off at a friends house as she requested. Since then she has not contacted me and I have not contacted her. So I really miss her. Some times are harder then other. Last night one of her friends and her friends mom went to go visit a mutual friend and they invited me so I met them them there. We were talking for a while then we started talking about the breakup. The pretty much told me they think it's the best thing for me and all things like that and how she is asking if she did the right thing and if people think she's going to regret it. But anyway we continued to talk and they mentioned that she says she won't call me and she knows I won't call her but she made a few coments that she I revolved my life around her and that she hopes I could move on and her friend said she wasn't trying to insult me it was genuine care that she thinks I can't move on. Her friend told her to be honest I don't think its over she told me she thinks were going to get back but my ex says no way. Her friend keeps telling me how this is the craziest breakup she ever saw we didn't fight didn't arguee didn't curse and don't hate each other. I heard a few stories from my ex friend how my ex is cold she was in a 15 yr friend ship they went there own ways and she didn't shed a tear. Now keeping this all in mind I miss her like hell I don't no if hanging out with her friends is stirring uput I mixxed emotions but I felt like crap last night and this moring. My ex also made a few comment to her friends she felt of us more as friends or looked at me as a protector I treated her well and I'm having hard time going on. I think I might be holding a lot of false hope now from what her friends been sayong and all that everyone things she's going to call me. But do I want to go back if she does?? I don't no I never had a breakup this smooth I just miss her and wish I could see her and its so hard not calling am I doing the right thing not calling?? Am I ruining any chances?? Or is caling a sign of weekeness?? Its weird my exs friends told me a story yesterday how my ex wants me to hang out with all her friends and keep in touch since I made friends with all her friends and dropped all of mine. Then 1 or 2 hours later she's turns around to her friend and goes you better remember I have priority I'm what you have to worry about I'm your main concern. She here friends tells me how she doent understad why she changes her mind so much... people I don't no what to do... im so not sure if she was the won?? Will I be alone foreva 28 I'm not ugly not the best looking guy but have tons to offer why am I so stuckk...

Anyone have any more wisdon for me??

Ok first of all, you are doing the right thing by not calling. The mutual friends talking about her might be doing you some harm, you might have to ask them to not talk about it/her if you really want to get over her. From what I'm hearing your ex has said, it sounds like this particular relationship is over. Its going to suck, and hurt a lot but it is normal. You ARE going to miss her, and probably for a long time (maybe not what you wanted to hear).
Im in 2 months since my ex and I broke up and I still really miss her. But you will realize one day that life does go on, and that you can be happy without her and you WILL meet someone else who will make you laugh at wasting so much time pining over your ex.

To truly begin healing, you have to let go of the false hope of being with her again. Your ex has said that she isn't considering getting back with you, so that should be your sign to move on. Prove her wrong(that you CAN get over her) and live a great life without her.

Ok first of all, you are doing the right thing by not calling. The mutual friends talking about her might be doing you some harm, you might have to ask them to not talk about it/her if you really want to get over her. From what im hearing your ex has said, it sounds like this particular relationship is over. Its going to suck, and hurt alot but it is normal. You ARE going to miss her, and probably for a long time (maybe not what you wanted to hear).
Im in 2 months since my ex and I broke up and I still really miss her. But you will realize one day that life does go on, and that you can be happy without her and you WILL meet someone else who will make you laugh at wasting so much time pining over your ex.

To truly begin healing, you have to let go of the false hope of being with her again. Your ex has said that she isnt considering getting back with you, so that should be your sign to move on. Prove her wrong(that you CAN get over her) and live a great life without her.

Ahhhhhhhhh spoken by a tru expert I'm sooo happy I have people to talk to in the same or similar situation its ggives me some comfort it still hurts but I no it is for the best no matter how much I hate to admit it thanks and anyone has a opinion or helpful advice shootttt I need it lol

Thanks chris

Dude, its easy to beat yourself up over a break-up, lose that will I be alone for ever mentality and things will get better, obviously you weregood enoughfor her and she seems special right.

That's the good part, the bad is that her comment about hoping you can be friends and hoping you move on carries more weightin my opinion that what her friends say. I would not call, I havementioned this before in other posts but calling or not calling has nothing to do with changing the girls mind. I mean if she has set her mind on not getting back than whether you call makes no difference. Same is true if a girl likes you, if she likes you than she likes you, people spend wayto much time thinking about whether or when to make the first move, regardless of when it WILL happen, this is the same thing.

I fear thatthings like this often end in it not working out, especially if she is "hoping you can be friends". It's going to hurt, its going to suck, your going to want to call, but you will move on, post me back in 5 months and it will be a totally new outlook. Just be strong, but learn from what happened and take time to correct what needs to be corrected, in thattime you will heal and be better for it, we all got to go through this at least once my man, its almost like a rite of passage before you findthe ONE!

Best of luck.

Dude, its easy to beat urself up over a break-up, lose that will i be alone for ever mentality and and things will get better, obviously you weregood enoughfor her and she seems special right.

Thats the good part, the bad is that her comment about hoping you can be friends and hoping you move on carries more weightin my opinion that what her friends say. I would not call, I havementioned this b4 in other posts but calling or not calling has nothing to do with changing the girls mind. I mean if she has set her mind on not getting back than whether or not you call makes no difference. Same is true if a girl likes you, if she likes you than she likes you, people spend wayto much time thinking about wether or when to make the first move, regardless of when it WILL happen, this is the same thing.

I fear thatthings like this often end in it not working out, especially if she is "hoping you can be friends". It's gonna hurt, its gonna suck, your gonna want to call, but you will move on, post me back in 5 months and it will be a totally new outlook. Just be strong, but learn from what happened and take time to correct what needs to be corrected, in thattime you will heal and be better for it, we all gotta go through this at least once my man, its almost like a rite of passage before you findthe ONE!

Best of luck.

Aboutly perfectly put and I no your right and in a few months I can see myself looking back and almost laughing I just have to get to that point and keep strong my taking all this great advice... thankssss 11 days now.

Chris, I'ts been 9 months since my ex fiancé broke up with me. The first 3 months were hell but focus on you and hang out with friends and family. What ever you do do not contact her, it will only bring you back to square one. Trust me, I did this 2 months into our break up and hurt even more. One more thing you may want to do for a while is stop hanging around her friends, this will only make you think of her and you may here things you may not want to here.

Im pretty good when I'm with friends or family but like I said I have become close with all her friends since we stayed with them all the time I lost contact with my friends but it was a good thing cause my friends were on a bad path. I t was great while we dated but now that were not 2gethor anymore it sucks. Its such a big change now and that's what makes it even hard the people I stayed with were her friends first so nothing I can do about it and since there still friends ill probbaly wind up hearing things that id rather now no. Like new friends she makes b/f's so on. I think the worst part is the feeling of emptyness tthat I'm having now. And the feeling of loss its been 12 dats shoudnt the emptyness be leaving?? Ughhhhh this sucks/.

Hi today makes 13 days no contact. I was doing pretty good about not contacting her until yesterday I stood with her close friend and her mother. In the begingin she was not showing any emotion at all. Recently her friend has been telling me she's been pretty upset about the whole breakup and is taking it pretty hard now. I think that could have gave me the false hope I was looking for to hold onto. And now its killing me I want to call her so bad just to say hi and see what happens from there. I no once I break the NC its over from there. Buut after finding out that she's upset and she's is hurting it made me think there's still a chance. I asked her friend if she thinks there was a chance and I shold just move on she said I don't no but I do not she's not 100% sure. How do I get past this feeling of calling?? What should I do??

Hi there

If you read my posts from yesterday I said I was almost up to a full month of no contact with my ex or whatever he wants to call himself. I have been so strong, and even in times where I've wanted to pick up the phone or something, I've managed to work around it.

For me, one of the things which has kept me going is having some pride... why should I contact him? I am devastated, yes, and still love the guy of course, but from the start I decided if he wanted no contact, then no contact was what he was going to get.

If she's upset and hurting, then let her hurt, let her stay upset, she needs to deal with her own thoughts and issues. Do you want to look like all you're doing is sitting around thinking about her? Yes you may be (hell, I'm there with you at the moment) but she doesn't need to know that. Let her wonder what you're doing. I don't know the details of your split, but if you're hoping she will come back to you, making some contact now would just undo all the good you've done so far. If she wants you back, she'll come to you (something I have told myself over and over)

I know its hard, but when I've always found myself in the place where I want to call him, I've just occupied myself... called someone, anyone, have a chat with them and you'll feel better.

Think of how well you've done going 13 days... before you know it you'll be like me, just days off a full month. It gets easier. Not much, but it does.

And always remember, if you keep a dignified silence you know you have done everything you could do. No matter what happens, you can't look back and say "oh man if only i'd kept away".

Keep your chin up... there are plenty of us in this boat right now, you're not alone.

Hi there

If you read my posts from yesterday I said I was almost up to a full month of no contact with my ex or whatever he wants to call himself. I have been so strong, and even in times where I've wanted to pick up the phone or something, I've managed to work around it.

For me, one of the things which has kept me going is having some pride....why should I contact him? I am devastated, yes, and still love the guy of course, but from the start I decided if he wanted no contact, then no contact was what he was going to get.

If she's upset and hurting, then let her hurt, let her stay upset, she needs to deal with her own thoughts and issues. Do you want to look like all you're doing is sitting around thinking about her? Yes you may be (hell, I'm there with you at the moment) but she doesn't need to know that. Let her wonder what you're doing. I don't know the details of your split, but if you're hoping she will come back to you, making some contact now would just undo all the good you've done so far. If she wants you back, she'll come to you (something I have told myself over and over)

I know its hard, but when I've always found myself in the place where i want to call him, I've just occupied myself...called someone, anyone, have a chat with them and you'll feel better.

Think of how well you've done going 13 days.....before you know it you'll be like me, just days off a full month. It gets easier. Not much, but it does.

And always remember, if you keep a dignified silence you know you have done everything you could do. No matter what happens, you can't look back and say "oh man if only i'd kept away".

Keep your chin up....there are plenty of us in this boat right now, you're not alone.

Well my ex I think more then anything is confused she's not the one who said nc it was me she said she would like to try to be friends and all that but I didn't think I could nor do I think I can now either. The 13 days were hard your right but since I found out she was upset it made it worse now I just be thinking about that and only that. I started to tell myself its nmot worth it unless she calls but then I think what if I don't and she was saying if he wanted to make it work he would have tried to call. I think my imagionation part of my mind is taking over o man I thought I was past that point... ughhhhhhh

Well my ex i think more then anything is confused shes not the one who said nc it was me she said she would like to try to be friends and all that but i didnt think i could nor do i think i can now either. The 13 days were hard ur right but since i found out she was upset it made it worse now i just be thinking about that and only that. I started to tell myself its nmot worth it unless she calls but then i think what if i dont and she was saying if he wanted to make it work he would have tried to call. I think my imagionation part of my mind is taking over o man i thought i was past that point.........ughhhhhhh


Grrrrrrrr going min by min dammmmmmmmm this is hard...

Im going to go out on a limb and say that you were and probably are suffering from the breakup. It is only fair that she has to as well. I know it has got to be SO tough right now to not pick up the phone, but think back to the last 13 days. Do you really want them to be in vain? Im sure those days went by so slowly, why waste them? I just hit 40 days and every day picks up speed and it feels better and better.

Im going to go out on a limb and say that you were and probably are suffering from the breakup. It is only fair that she has to as well. I know it has got to be SO tough right now to not pick up the phone, but think back to the last 13 days. Do you really want them to be in vain? Im sure those days went by so slowly, why waste them? I just hit 40 days and every day picks up speed and it feels better and better.
Yea I no exactly what your saying but could there be the slighest chance that if I do call or text it will make things better or is it already written that no matter what I do or try I will not succeed?? Is there really any rulles or is this just the normal thing not to do..

Chris NO CONTACT... Dude chasing her will only make you look desperet and needy.. Basically MOVE ON.. not tyring to be a but thatwas theadvice I got when I first came on here.. When you move on and heal yourself then and only then " she might be back" until then better yourself as a person. Deal with emotions that are natural to have.. You can't make some one love you..

Dam I no your all right its just sooo dam hard this is killing me thanks for all in my time of need... I feel a lot better and hope I can get through this day without a call. I made it this far because all of this support I want to thank everyone and hope for a better afternoon... Why did I have to pry and find out she was upset only to make me feel worse dam that was dumb...

Well your mistake was definitely asking how she was doing. Since this girl is your ex best friends she is of course going to give you a big sob story if only to make you feel as if you aren't the only one feeling hurt - keep that in mind.

The fact is that its done. If she is not 100% sure then why end the relationship to begin with? The fact is its done and she has to live with her decision. No, you can't be friends at least not until YOU are healed. You have the right thinking but your willpower is wavering which is totally normal. You are 13 days in - dude that's awesome! Give it another 13 and see how you feel I bet it's a lot easier at that point then it is now.

you are doing good - remember that. Most people feel weak. I remember when I first went no contact with my last ex and I decided that I would not call until x date well when x date rolled around I didn't even want to call him and just kept chugging forward. You will get there.

Man.. I have a child and we were engaged and she cheated on me. Dude let her go. If it was meant to be it will be.. Just improove yourself. Make her see that you are better then what she thought and when she comes back you won't want her I promise.

Chris you have her RIGHT where you want her.. she's hurting and she's seeing it now... CONNECT HER... nothing big but just a hi and make sure she knows your still there... That's it... really man.. think about it.. if you Don't connect her.. she will probabyly think you will reject her and won't even try to connect you.. same time... girls are AFRIAD to admit they are wrong.. so in that case.. she probably doenst want to look stupid in connecting you after what she did... but you.. Don't chase her.. just text her saying hi or something that's IT. After 6 days.. I texted my ex just saying HI.. then she started texting back wth questions and things... meaning she wants to talk... trust me man.. deep insdie I know you want ot just say HI to her.. so do it..

Forever, its easy! You just don't contact them.

Why are you wasting your time on such an emotionally immature girl?

Why are you wanting to be such a spineless person? Jeesse, two weeks is practically yesterday, If you don't have the backbone to stand up for yourself then surrender your gonads at the door.

She was wrong, and if she is so immature she won't admit it then you want nothing to do with such a self centered arrogant girl. Save yourself from a ruined future now. If you don't get the respect from your partner you expect and give then its time to move on to someone else that will. Why waste more of your time on her. Count your blessings you found out now, and not after you got married or had kids.

Dude, when you get that urge to use the phone, get online and rant instead. It's WAY BETTER. Or go for a drive, or a jog, or if you're up for, call a friend. And as hard as it is to accept, HER FEELINGS ARE NO LONGER YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Letting go of someone close is very hard. But remember, it's all ABOUT YOU now. She may feel sad, BUT SO DO YOU. DEAL WITH YOURSELF.

Good luck.

--Cali

Hmm I actually shocked someone is telling me to contact her... Most people say do not but finally someone things I should lets take a vote here who thinks contact is 100% wrong?? And is a text really that bad or what to come after that text is worse??

Don't contact her.. Like some one else said 13days is like yesterday and do you want the 13days to be for nothing. Dude get out of your house go out with your friends. Show her with out contacting her that you are happy with out her. Be seen out on the town. Go hang outwith your friends. AND DO NOT SPEAK OF HER WHEN YOUR OUT HAVING FUN... If it is a buddy and you then mabe, but when your going out , your going out to have fun not talk about her. Look at it this way.. Give yourself half a hour a day to really think about it. Then that's it.. Any more of then that she isn't deserving of your time. If you truly want to get her back then listen..


Ignore her with no contact. Do not speak to her friends, don't ask your buddys what she has been doing.. Concentrate on you. It might not make sense but if you want to get her back you need to let go.. Im not making any promises but if you ask people out her by you wanting nothing to do with her it will drive her crazy. And I mean it. Go out, hell go out on a date if you can. Show her that you are moving on. If she wants you she will stop you from moving on and that's when you say to her, Im sorry but you just ant give me what I want and nothing more. Let her eat her decision and keep that up for a while. Just accept she is gone. How old are you and her. Im preety sure you're a young guy and there are plenty of other owmen. For myself I know there are plenty of others but I still only want one.. BUt just because you only want this one doesn't mean you can't go out on dates.. The best thing to do is let her have her space, let her make her own choices and mistakes and she will respect you for letting her be. If she wants to come back she will find a way. But enjoying your life to the fullest and not thinking twice about what she is feeling or caring.. She does Not Not care what you fee like. Face it. Sorry but it is true. She might care in a few months but as of now she doesn't. Chris your obsessing over her. Make a list of what you have to offer her and what she has to offer you. I bet you offer her a lot more then what she brings to the tabel.

Ur probably find you learn so much about life and relationships, specially if you go NC. Your be sat here in many months maybe less saying was that all about?

If you call her you are a bigger loser than she is...

Listen I already feel like a loser hjust going through all of this as well as thinking so much about it. I just not sure what to do the advice is all great and I appreciate it. I just guess Its like I started over after finding out this information about her and it could be because I think she might be re-consideringn things while in fact she might not even be thinking about it... ughhhhhh what to do...

Put it behind you or you will be reliving it all over again down the road. You already know she's capable of it, and that's reason enough to be a winner and not be sucked a second time.

Remember the old saying.

Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me.


Repeat those words when you think about her. She shafted you once... go back and the next time its your fault, not hers. You know she's like this now.


Those words mean learn from your bad experience... and don't repeat it a second time.

Okie so I'm officially a loser I signed on to myspace and coudnt help checking hers and on it she had the song wich she added today jorden sparks tatooed. So I caved in and texted her and said that I understand were from different world and I don't refgret anything but I miss her and she said she missed me back yada yada and she said she just thinks it's the best for both of us right now. So I agreed and said take care... What have I done am I a idiot??

You can check your gonads in at the closest women's center.

If you can't stand up for yourself then what can you stand up for.

Yea your probably right but the conversation through text didn't go anyway there were only 5 and I feel relief not sure if it was tempory but I feel relieved

You

So everyone I broke down I heard she was upset, I heard her new interenet song jorden sparks tatooed I cracked I text her. It was long text just said Hi she answerd hi back told her I now we are from different worlds and I miss her she responded miss you to. I told her I no I could love w/o her but I never thought we wouldn't be 2gethor she agreed and then said that she things its better for both of us right now so I agreeed and told her I had to get that off my chest and ended it there... I feel like I got it out and I'm okie... did I just ruin the 14 days we didn't contact each other and that song just set me off if anyone knows what its about ull no y

Okie so after all that I contact her. She texted me back earlier tonight and said she don't want to call cause its to hard and that she's loves me and cares for me but she's young and wants to live a little bit. And how its better for the both of us I kind of think this was the closier I was looking for now I no its over and that's the way it is so as she hung up she said love you again and used her old pet name... Sooooo I kind of feel at ease hope this feeling stays around...

False hope is a bad thing my friend. Move on... Just wait till she is dating some one else which she probably has her eye on some one already.. Harsh reality but tough love is what I'm giving you. Let it go.. Be a man. Let it go , if she matures and comes back then sweet but you can't count the min. Go to the gym #1, #2 go out with friends and be yourself have fun. # 4move on #5 move on #6 move on #7 see where I'm going with this.. Where here to talk about moving on and letting go. . No waiting for her to come back.. I'm having the best two days of no contact where I'm thinking clearly.. open your eyes

Yea I woudnt that what your saying false hope was running my life I guess its out of sigh out of mind and when in mind forse it out you her being with someone would drive me nuts ughhhh I don't want to even think of it but its going to happen sooner than it will for me probably sucks o it sucks but keep the positive enforcement coming thanks for the support all...

Like I said... be a man, stand up for yourself and walk away from her, or be a wussy and be her doormat.

If you want to be a doormat you give up your rights to complain about it because you were warned and choose to do it. You therefore wanted to be kicked around because YOU made the conscience decision to go back to her.

However if you don't then stop crawling back to her... take charge of your own life and shut her out of it.

There are plenty of women out there that don't treat others like that, and that are a better match for you.

The more I read these threads the more I think divorce should be outlawed. Because people insist on picking the worst people and know it, yet insist on ignoring common sense and advice by sticking with people that are emotionally, or physically abusive to them. So they should be forced to stay in those relationships. They deserve each other.

I can't fathom why people keep doing this.

There are a LOT of women out there... they aren't all alike. Why do people keep insisting on staying with others that don't respect them or worse. If you are fighting, needing a break from each other or are just unhappy, then that's a flashing NEON sign that you aren't a good match much less a perfect one. Leave, move on, find a new partner. If you waste time with losers you will never find that perfect partner.

Abosulty correct, I was just scared cause I didn't think I was good enough to get another good looking girl that was nice most of the time. Im starting to think different and feel better about myself that had a lot to do with it. Im scard of meeting new people but that will be a new leaf for me to introduce myself to the new me... im working on myself so I can do these things easier we will see what's happens no she's not right for me I was just scared to walk away

abosulty correct, I was just scared cause i didnt think i was good enought to get another good looking girl that was nice most of the time. Im starting to think different and feel better about myself that had alot to do with it. Im scard of meeting new people but that will be a new leaf for me to introduce myself to the new me...im working on myself so I can do these things easier we will see whats happens no shes not right for me i was just scared to walk away

Keep in mind looks aren't everything. Most women lose their looks with age... then what do you have if they didn't have a personality to match? Not much, right.

There are plenty of perfectly decent looking women with great personalities... if you look for a trophy wife, that's all you usually end up with, a trophy, but not much of a wife.

A lot of serious hotties have this mindset, they think they are gods gift to man, and as such they are perfectly justified to do whatever they want.

Wait till the looks fade and the realities of life hit her. Payback can be a B1tch. By then you are happily on your voyage of life with a far better woman. She ends up settling for a drunken troll that beats her because unlike her he has a real job.

Keep in mind looks aren't everything. Most women lose their looks with age...then what do you have if they didn't have a personality to match? Not much, right.

There are plenty of perfectly decent looking women with great personalities...if you look for a trophy wife, thats all you usually end up with, a trophy, but not much of a wife.

A lot of serious hotties have this mindset, they think they are gods gift to man, and as such they are perfectly justified to do whatever they want.

Wait till the looks fade and the realities of life hit her. Payback can be a B1tch. By then you are happily on your voyage of life with a far better woman. She ends up settling for a drunken troll that beats her because unlike her he has a real job.
Smoothy, I will tell you one thing you do make a lot of sense. Was this all from life experience?? I am not 100% on looks personality is very important as well. Perfect example is that my ex thought she looked better then all her friends as well as most people and always told me how lucky I was. I new she was beautiful as well anyway. But to be honest as pretty as she was I still found the uglyness in her and that's the truth. Like I said before I'm not the best looking guy but definitely not the worst. So id be happy with the perfect match no matter what the looks really were on her outside...

Smoothy, I will tell u one thing u do make alot of sence. Was this all from life experiance???? I am not 100% on looks personality is very important as well. Perfect example is that my ex thought she looked better then all her friends as well as most people and always told me how lucky i was. I new she was beutiful as well anyway. But to be honest as pretty as she was I still found the uglyness in her and thats the truth. Like i said before im not the best looking guy but definatly not the worst. So id be happy with the perfect match no matter what the looks really were on her outside......
Some it was the school of hard knocks... others was from observation and friends that went that same route. I'm in my mid 40's so I've had a lot of years to learn these lessons. Most of them long before places like this existed. I like to watch people and see what they do and how they act... sort of bet myself that something is going to happen, and started to notice many times I was right. You can learn a lot by just sitting back and watching people sometimes. You can pretty accurately judge someone's character from how they behave. You don't even have to know them if you can watch them long enough.

And yeah, I've known quite a few of these women that think they are gods gift to mankind... they can also be refereed to as "high maintenance" women.

If you constantly have to spend money on them to keep them happy then its time to open your eyes. Many date guys just for the stuff, I've had them actually tell me this. The right woman wants you to be with her, she doesn't want you to buy her.

Many of these women are really not all that much to look at when you really take the time to look. And No woman is gods gift to man. Nor any man gods gift to women.

Some it was the school of hard knocks...others was from observation and friends that went that same route. I'm in my mid 40's so I've had a lot of years to learn these lessons. Most of them long before places like this existed. I like to watch people and see what they do and how they act....sort of bet myself that something is going to happen, and started to notice many times I was right. You can learn a lot by just sitting back and watching people sometimes. You can pretty accurately judge someones character from how they behave. You don't even have to know them if you can watch them long enough.

And yeah, I've known quite a few of these women that think they are gods gift to mankind....they can also be refereed to as "high maintenance" women.

If you constantly have to spend money on them to keep them happy then its time to open your eyes. Many date guys just for the stuff, I've had them actually tell me this. The right woman wants you to be with her, she doesn't want you to buy her.

Many of these women are really not all that much to look at when you really take the time to look. And No woman is gods gift to man. Nor any man gods gift to women.


Yea I hear you experience is key... Life is so short and I want to live it and have fun this is a stepping stone that I had to start with I appreciate your time as well as everyone else and anymore advice feel free to lay it on me...