I have been dating this guy for almost a year. He has proposed, and have not set a date yet. I believe if were going to be married that it is a total commitment. He once told me that my bills were not his responsibility, I created them. Now mind you I have no car payments merely 2 charge cards, then the basic utilities and my horses. He has 2 children we get every other weekend. They are not my responsibility but I love him so I accept them. He all the time complains about how I waste elec. Blah blah blah... I pay the bill. Anyway he never does anything special unless there is a threat of me leaving. I love him but I feel like I am under a microscope around him. He is OCD and I don't know how to handle all that. Not to mention he hardly ever does anything nice, never says WOW you look great. I was married 18 years prior and I know how it is spose to feel, but I know everyone is not alike. He has money but so scared to spend a dime. We have to buy the generic foods which I am not complaining but come on. I don't know if I am the one that has issues or him. I feel he should be wanting to move in by now but not yet there is always a reason why he hasn't. I finally quit asking. A part of me feels if I left it would be more then he could handle but do I stay and try to fix something I might not be able to fix?

That which is observed prior to marriage is but a fraction of what will be observed after marriage. Best to trust yourself on this one and hope you go with the discision that offers the most options. Play it safe.

It's a good thing you aren't married yet.
He is not likely to change, so don't expect to change him.
Seems like control is a major issue and money is his security and method.
He has children, and you don't write fondly of them. An issue on your part?
And from what you have written, neither of you has anything positive to say about the other.

This does not look good. Sorry.





Grace and Peace

Well at least you see the red flags waving, and the warning bells blaring. I don't think moving in together is a very good idea right now. I think it's a lousy idea. If you think he will change later..? I seriously doubt it.