Hi,
I have been with my girlfriend for around 3 years now. The first year and a half was great, then she started graduate school. The program is pretty intensive, and keeps her busy, so I understand that she has to study a lot.

The thing is, she seems so detached and doesn't call nearly like she used to. If I don't call her first, and just wait to see what she doesIt's not uncommon to not hear a word from her until around 10 or 11pm somedays. I told her that I would like to hear from her more often, maybe in the mornings or even in the afternoons, but she always says that she doesn't have time.

What's going on with this? How can someone not have time to take 5 or 10 minutes out of the day to make a phone call? Even that would make me feel better. She does text a little throughout the day, but they are just mindless texts with no thoughts. "have a nice day". "talk to you soon". "good morning/afternoon". To make things worse, about 6 months ago, she admitted that she had given her number out to another guy. They did flirt back and forth over email and she still gave the number out. When I found out and confronted her and ended it, she cried and asked to be taken back.

When you put all these together, I start to wonder if maybe the relationship is just not important for her, and she's just waiting to get out. I asked if she wanted to break up, and she always cries and says no. I even suggested maybe taking a break and she cried at that to.

What's her deal? Is it time to just move on from this girl?
Please, I need all of your input. This is affecting my eating and sleeping. I just walk around in a daze all day thinking about only this.

Hi,
I have been with my girlfriend for around 3 years now. The first year and a half was great, then she started graduate school. The program is pretty intensive, and keeps her busy, so I understand that she has to study a lot.

The thing is, she seems so detached and doesn't call nearly like she used to. If I don't call her first, and just wait to see what she doesIt's not uncommon to not hear a word from her until around 10 or 11pm somedays. I told her that I would like to hear from her more often, maybe in the mornings or even in the afternoons, but she always says that she doesn't have time.

What's going on with this? How can someone not have time to take 5 or 10 minutes out of the day to make a phone call? Even that would make me feel better. She does text a little throughout the day, but they are just mindless texts with no thoughts. "have a nice day". "talk to you soon". "good morning/afternoon". To make things worse, about 6 months ago, she admitted that she had given her number out to another guy. They did flirt back and forth over email and she still gave the number out. When I found out and confronted her and ended it, she cried and asked to be taken back.

When you put all these together, I start to wonder if maybe the relationship is just not important for her, and she's just waiting to get out. I asked if she wanted to break up, and she always cries and says no. I even suggested maybe taking a break and she cried at that to.

What's her deal? Is it time to just move on from this girl?
Please, I need all of your input. This is affecting my eating and sleeping. I just walk around in a daze all day thinking about only this.
I know that it is really difficult to hear, but if you spend the majority of your time worrying about whether your relationship is going to make it, there are only two possibilities.

1: You should probably move on, you deserve someone who will be there for you as much as you are there for them.

2: You are being overly paranoid, and should probably take time off to discover more about yourself before continuing a serious relationship.

Based on what you have said I think that you are most likely in the first category. Taking a break from the relationship might be just what you both need. I'm no psychologist, but hopefully I have helped you out somewhat. Good luck

Im sorry to hear what your going threw.

She does text which is good and sometimes people do have so much on they can't take 5 to 10 minutes out of there day.

But it sounds like this is hurting you more than its doing you good. I think you should move on.

She will either try and make an effort to make you happy or not.

I think you can find a lot better
She seems like a flirty girl anyway. And that's never good

Wow, since you let things affect you, then maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship right now. Come on, its not like she disappears, she gets busy with school work. You sound a little to needy to me.

Wow, since you let things affect you, then maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship right now. Come on, its not like she disappears, she gets busy with school work. You sound a little to needy to me.
I agree more along the lines with Tal here, but not so much as to say "break it off". The worrying is all on your part. The fact that she texts you and calls you late at night indicates she still cares. The fact that she cries when you talk about breaking up also suggests she cares. You are worrying for nothing.

What you should do, in my own opinion, is just stop calling her. FORCE her to call you for a few days. I would be super shocked if she let that continue for more than 2 days. This will also prove she cares.

But you are really thinking too much. The problem with this relationship is more on your end than it is on hers. You need to concentrate on yourself more. Better yourself NOW. Work out more, read more books, get with your friends more, call and hang with your family more, and less focus and attention on her. It'll do you and her both wonders.

Would it make you feel better dumping her if I say I think she's fooling around with another guy?

You're a worrier just like me. I go nuts whenever my guy doesn't call/text me enough. What kept me sane was to keep myself occupied with sports and clubs and this site! LOL It wouldn't hurt to find another alternative to keep your mind off worrying about your girlfriend.

She sounds like a flirt but for some people, flirting is simply flirting. If you trust her, you wouldn't be bothered about this situation.

If you miss her, call her. If you don't, then don't call her. She's probably doing that to you.

Don't break off because of your paranoias, base all your decisions on facts.