My 12 year old daughter, currently live with her father and his wife. Over the past year, my daughter has been subjected to violent arguments between her dad and step mom, sometimes brought into the fight and asked to take sides. Her father is emotionally abusing her, speaking badly about me and punishing her for things that she hasn't done or things I do.

One day, he made her pull her pants down, then beat her with a leather belt for having a "boyfriend", the grounded her from her room, making her sleep on the floor in the hall in front of her room for well over 6 weeks.

I called the police immediately, but was told CPS would have to handle it. When asking CPS for help, they informed me there was nothing they could do because a parent is well within their rights to punish their child by any means they see fit. Then was told that if it continues to happen then they may be able to help later.

The situation is getting so bad, my daughter cried when she has go back home. She has also made comments about doing the things she is being punished for since it doesn't matter that she hasn't done it.

After I found out about the belt beating, it took me almost 3 hours of talking to my daughter, reassuring her that she should not be afraid to tell me what happened. She was told if she says anything, and he finds out she will be in big trouble.


I have been battling with myself for the past few months about what to do. I have been afraid that taking action against him will only cause him to hurt my daughter more. In the last 2 months, these things have gotten increasingly worse. So bad, that I feel if I don't intervene I am just as guilty of abuse as he is.

What do I need to provide to the courts so they will help? She is 12, but she is very mature for her age. Will the Judge consider what she wants?

What do I submit as evidence of the abuse??

Are there specific things I should focus on? Do I want to include every detail, no matter how petty? There are so many events that show a past pattern, but on a much smaller scale, but it also shows how much it has worsen and continues to.

Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks


Foxxx :confused:

I called the police immediately, but was told CPS would have to handle it. When asking CPS for help, they informed me there was nothing they could do because a parent is well within their rights to punish their child by any means they see fit. Hello foxxy:

IF you were told that (and I doubt you were), what you were told, is ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE - not even close!! Call CPS back and DO NOT GET OFF THE PHONE until you have somebody who will start an investigation.

excon

I agree with excon. A spanking is one thing but beating a kid with a belt is over the top. Especially a 12 yr old girl being made to drop her pants.

At this point, however, you really have no proof other than the girl's testimony, which is going to make your task more difficult. Tell your daughter to start keeping a journal, record EVERy piece of abuse. If she is physically abused again, have her go to the school nurse the very next morning and be examined. If the nurse finds evidence of the abuse she will be compelled to call in CPS.

NRS 432B.260...

3. Except as otherwise provided in subsection 2, upon receipt of a report concerning the possible abuse or neglect of a child or notification from a law enforcement agency that the law enforcement agency has received such a report, an agency which provides child welfare services shall conduct an evaluation not later than 3 days after the report or notification was received to determine whether an investigation is warranted. For the purposes of this subsection, an investigation is not warranted if:

(a) The child is not in imminent danger of harm;

(b) The child is not vulnerable as the result of any untreated injury, illness or other physical, mental or emotional condition that threatens his immediate health or safety;

...

(d) The agency determines that the:

(1) Alleged abuse or neglect was the result of the reasonable exercise of discipline by a parent or guardian of the child involving the use of corporal punishment, including, without limitation, spanking or paddling; and

(2) Corporal punishment so administered was not so excessive as to constitute abuse or neglect as described in NRS 432B.150.

...

That is the law they quoted me.

And they claim that whipping the bare bottom of a 12 yr old girl is "not so excessive to constitute abuse"?? What more would he have to do to her then?

If I were you I would take the name of that officious twit who read that to you and then go to your local media and ask their opinion.

Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is characterized by physical injury (for example, bruises and fractures) resulting from punching, beating, kicking, biting, burning, or otherwise harming a child. Although the injury is not an accident, the parent or caretaker may not have intended to hurt the child. The injury may have resulted from over discipline or physical punishment that is inappropriate to the child's age or condition.

The injury may be the result of a single episode or of repeated episodes and can range in severity from minor bruising to death.

Any injury resulting from physical punishment that requires medical treatment is considered outside the realm of normal disciplinary measures.

A single bruise may be inflicted inadvertently; however, old and new bruises in combination, bruises on several areas of the face, or bruising in an infant suggest abuse. In addition, any punishment that involves hitting with a closed fist or an instrument, kicking, inflicting burns, or throwing the child is considered child abuse regardless of the severity of the injury sustained.


... that is in the CPS guide http://www.dcfs.state.nv.us/ChildFatalities/ChildProtServices/CPS-ParentGuide-08-07-06.pdf



Basically if you dicipline your child and even cause injury, but didn't mean to hurt the child as bad as you did, it is not child abuse. It is only abuse if you new you would cause harm... See me delima?? I am afraid he will be able to convince the judge that EVERYTHING is accidental, then I will lose the case and she will suffer even more because he will know that she told me about what is going on.

I need advice on what to give the jude as proof. She did not suffer injury, other that emotional. But how do I prove the contuing emotional abuse??

You prove continuing emotional abuse through a counselor.

Get her into counseling now. She needs an advocate who is a professional in the field of mental health.

What you are missing here is that you need to get chidren's services to INVESTIGATE. They have counselors who can interview the parties, including the child and make some determination. If they determine its not abuse after an investigation that's one thing, but to refuse to investigate based on what you have told us, is just wrong.

And you are missing an important aspect of this. Spanking or even beating the child with a belt or paddle is one thing. I can see where that might be considered within the realm of reasonable discipline. But telling a 12 yr old girl to drop her pants goes beyond normal disicpline, In my opinion. That should qualify as emotional abuse and it brings a sexual abuse angle to it. I'm saying that it at least bears investigation.

When asking CPS for help, they informed me there was nothing they could do because a parent is well within their rights to punish their child by any means they see fit.
CPS actually told you this? I find that hard to believe. Did you strees to them that he's beating her without mercy? As for evidence of the abuse, from here on out have her seek medical attention at the nearest emergency room after each incident, no matter how minor (or not.) She needs to get ot the hospital some way. Does she have a cell phone that she can secretly call you on and have you take her? Have her tell the triage nurse that she is being abused at home. This'll be the best way to gather evidence to present to a judge.