This is my story...
Its been a week since we broke up.weve been out dating, having fun and sex for 4 years. Right now am good as dead, meaning no life. September 13 I picked her up at her school. She's 20 am 21. Were not studying at the same college. I feel something wasn't right. I asked her if there's a problem. She said she wanted sometime to think and decide for herself. She said she wamted to decide things for her own, making decisions without thinking of me.I know its just an excuse. I gave her a few days. September 16 Monday, we ate lunch together. She still have 2 hours free before her next class. But she said that she have to do her assignments for that class, so I let her go. That happens the next day too. Then that night I texted her and ask what's wrong? She replied " am no longer in love with you!".. my whole world stopped for a minute.I texted her again, she didn't replied. I picked her up at their house the day after. We talked, she said that she doesn't feel any love for me anymore. It felt like my heart will explode. I asked her to give me a chance and she said yes ill give you a chance if you give me time to think. I agreed. I can't sleep that time, I was asking myself why and what went wrong. Then she texted me and said she'll meet me after her class. She said OK ill give you a chance untillthe last day of this semester. That'll be on October 18. I said that was short! The she said "if you dont want it then this is goodbye!"... I have no other options but to agree... after that day I was about to show her how I really feel, I want to comfort her to and give the necklace she wanted. But she refuse to open up.I want to hold her hands but she doesn't want to. I tried to embrace her but she pushed me away.then I tell her. You gave me a chance and now that am trying to comfort you... blah blah blah... she said I gave you a chance to let you know that you don't deserve a chance! That's weird. That really broke my heart. She gave me a chance of no chance?! Then the next day I sit down beside her and talked. I asked her what really is the reason. She said that I was too tight that she can't breathe no more. She said "i want to do things that I want, I want to be free. She misinterpreted me. I banned her from drinking and smoking because her mom sont want it for her. I told her to limit being friends with her other school mates because they were a part of a bad frat at their school.I did those to protect her. Is that wrong? Tell me guys! I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her. She all that I have. Please guys I need your help. I can't picture myself moving on. I don't know what to do. Am depressed. I even cut my wrist a few days ago. Luckily my uncle saw me before I run out of blood. Am desperate. I don't know what went wrong. Am I that tight? I tried to explain all those thing to her. That I only did it because I care. Is that wrong? I entered college just for her! Ill be graduating next semester. Am doing my thesis, but I don't know if I still can go on. I can't think right! Her mom trust me a lot. Been crying till now! I can't sleep well. I can't stop thinking of her. I even thought that she might be under the influence of her friends. Most of her friends were guys, they have their gfs but they're cheating them. So how can I trust those friends of her. What if those guys abused her while under the unfluence of alcohol? can't help to think negative things! Am not seeing her till now because she don't want to. Each time I try to pick her up at their school, she always pushed me back and shout at me. Saying she doesn't love me and that I don't have a chance to win her back... I don't know what to do... please I need help... I want her back... please!! Should I keep on fithing or just hold off for awhile... I need help ASAP...

I want her back... please!! Should I keep on figthing or just hold off for awhile... I need help ASAP...
You've come to the right place, but your not going to like what you hear. She was quite clear and adament as to what she is feeling and what she wants and the only thing for you to do is accept that this is really over and there is no looking back, as she is moving on and you must do the same. I know it's a shock to your system, but you must leave her alone and work on yourself. Click on the links in my signature, for some good insights.

please I need help...
Get some help for yourself fast, as cutting your wrist because of a break up, indicates a lot of other issues you need to deal with, and should ASAP.

Very hard to cope mate but the best thing you can do is ignore her and get healthy yourself

Gee! Am crying from what I have you posted. I never expected this to happen. I love her. We've been together most of our free time. I showed her everything. I can't sleep and eat that much. I feel so sorry for myself. Is there a way to win her back. I've been to a break up before but its not like this. Am planning to talk to her sometime this week. I don't know if its right. I haven't called or texted her since. I don't want other guysto be by her side right now, I know am being selfish. But that's how I feel. My mind says to just leave her but my heart keeps on saying "GO FIGHT FOR IT"... I really don't know what to do... I check her later this morning but no ones at their house... can't help to think of what she's doing right now.. it really hurts.. as if we didn't share some memories... as if I didn't become a part of her life... can't she feel anything?? will she miss me?? how can I get and win her back! I don't know if I can accept it... its too hard for me... can't help but cry... its getting harder and harder to breathe.shes all that is left for me.am begging you guys.how?

Hi Overdozed
I'm really sorry for your pain , believe me there are a lot of people all over the world feeling exactly as you are at the moment. I know that doesn't make it any easier :( And there are a lot of people on here including myself who have gone through the pain and survived it. Learn from all of our experiences and I know its something you don't want to hear unfortunately that's the way it is. Come on here and vent whenever you need to because there are some really good people on here who can help you get through it , AND YOU WILL! Anyway what you must do at the moment is leave her alone , that is the only way if any that you can get her back. And I'm not saying she will come back but if you keep pursuing her now she never will sorry. At the moment every time you try to contact her she will pull away that little bit more. The more you push the more she will pull away. So for now you will need to leave her alone , NC (no contact) and that way you will start to heal for YOU! It won't be easy and it won't happen overnight , but you won't start to heal until you at least make an effort to help yourself. We will all be here to talk to you.

this is my story...
its been a week since we broke up.weve been out dating, having fun and sex for 4 years. right now am good as dead, meaning no life.

You have a life it’s just not running on all cylinders at this particular moment. But the last thing you should be doing is short changing yourself. Now more then ever you must start thinking about good things in your life and challenge yourself to find them, even when your feeling depressed.


we talked, she said that she doesnt feel any love for me anymore. it felt like my heart will explode. i asked her to give me a chance

This was a big mistake. You’ve given her 4 years. You have nothing….absolutely nothing to prove to her.


and she said yes ill give you a chance if you give me time to think. i agreed.

Why does she need time to think? Luckily I know the answer. She wants to keep you around in case something goes wrong in her new life. You have already expressed to her that you’ll be available. By doing that you have told her that you will become her back up plan.


i can't sleep that time, i was asking myself why and what went wrong. then she texted me and said she'll meet me after her class. she said ok ill give you a chance untillthe last day of this semester. that'll be on october 18. i said that was short! the she said "if you dont want it then this is goodbye!"...i have no other options but to agree...

I disagree with you. You had many options available to you. Now I realize you were thinking emotionally and not thinking this through but I think you should have said one of two things.

1. “I’ve given you four years and that’s more then enough time to prove myself. If you aren’t happy with my loyalty, companionship, compassion, understanding, and love after that time then I deserve a break from you.” That would have turned the tables right back on her and it would have been the truth.

2. The other option would be to say something like “I don’t think a couple of weeks is enough time to show you that I’ve changed and I think by offering me such a small time frame after all that I’ve given you is insulting so I will have to decline the offer.” Again, you would have turned the tables and she would not be expecting it. You would have stood up to her in a polite way, yet been aggressive about your stance and it would show her that you are stronger then she gives you credit for.


after that day i was about to show her how i really feel, i want to comfort her to and give the necklace she wanted. but she refuse to open up.i want to hold her hands but she doesnt want to. i tried to embrace her but she pushed me away.then i tell her. you gave me a chance and now that am trying to comfort you...blah blah blah...she said i gave you a chance to let you know that you dont deserve a chance! thats wierd.

It’s not so much weird as it was her way of letting herself down. While extremely cruel to a man who devoted himself to her, to her it’s a way to build a wall. It’s incredibly rude, childish, and insulting. I have very little respect for her behavior given what you were attempting to do and given that you’ve offered almost half a decade to her. I hope you can see that disrespect as well and maybe use some of it as leverage to finally see what a bottom feeder she really is.


that really broke my heart. she gave me a chance of no chance?!. then the next day i sit down beside her and talked. i asked her what really is the reason. she said that i was too tight that she can't breathe no more. she said "i want to do things that i want, i want to be free. she misinterpreted me.

Wrong. You misinterpreted her. No matter how bad something is for someone the more you tell them they can’t, the more they are going to try it. Who are you to ban her from anything?



i banned her from drinking and smoking coz her mom sont want it for her.

I’m not sure where you are from but I’m in the United States where the drinking laws state that you can not drink until you are 21. Do you know what many teenagers do? Drink alcohol. And why, because they are being told not to. I’m sorry but you come off as momma’s boy when you tell your girlfriend that she can’t drink because her mama said so. I’m not a big drinker but I guarantee that if my girlfriend was nagging me not to drink, I’d start doing it.


i told her to limit being friends with her other school mates coz they were a part of a bad frat at their school.i did those to protect her. is that wrong? tell me guys!

Yes that is wrong. I’ll go so far as to say that you did it to protect yourself, not her. You didn’t trust her enough to make her own friends and make her own mistakes.


i dont know what to do. i dont want to lose her. she all that i have.

She is not all that you have. Start focusing on other things that you do have. Hell you have access to the internet and there are some people on this planet that have no idea what a computer is. If you if start focusing on what you do have you’re outlook on life will start to improve.


please guys i need your help. i can't picture myself moving on.

In other words, you refuse to picture yourself moving on. You certainly can do it.


i dunno what to do. am depressed. i even cut my wrist a few days ago. luckily my uncle saw me before i run out of blood. am desperate.


Trust me if you don’t take anything else away from this, trust me on this. There is no woman……not one, not a single woman on the face of this planet to be killing yourself for. That certainly includes some skank who is callus enough to tell you to prove yourself after 4 years.


i dunno what went wrong. am i that tight?! i tried to explain all those thing to her. that i only did it coz i care. is that wrong?

I don’t doubt that you did those things because you care. I almost get the feeling you care too much. By that I mean you got so wrapped up in “us” that you forgot “me.” You put the couple ahead of yourself and you should never do that. You always come first.
You also can’t protect people to the point of being their guardian. You have to let people make mistakes on there own. In fact you can’t grow as a person if you don’t make your own mistakes.


! i entered college just for her! ill be graduating next semester. am doing my thesis, but i dont know if i still can go on. i can't think right! her mom trust me a lot. been crying till now! i can't sleep well.

Start exercising. If you can wear yourself out so that you will start sleeping longer.


i can't stop thinking of her. i even thought that she might be under the influence of her friends. most of her friends were guys, they have their gfs but theyre cheating them. so how can i trust those friends of her. what if those guys abused her while under the unfluence of alchohol?

What if they did? I don’t believe it for a second but let’s just say they did. What are you going to do about it? Call the police and report a crime you have no proof of on a victim that has no idea what your talking about against people who may or may not even know you? Hopefully that sounds as stupid as what your attempting to get across here.
Nobody abused her, she dumped you and now your grasping at straws to rationalize it.


!cant help to think negative things! am not seeing her till now coz she dont want to.
Then that’s her choice. Let her live with it.


each time i try to pick her up at their school, she always pushed me back and shout at me. saying she doesnt love me and that i dont have a chance to win her back...

Dude, I know your in serious emotional stress so please understand I’m not knocking you, but that comes off like a stalker. I’m not going to BS you and say I haven’t chased the person that dumped me in the past but for YOUR mental and emotional well being you have stop seeing her, talking to her, and contacting her. She’s over it, so now you have to work on yourself and get back to a better position where you can see this situation with some logic and not clouded in emotion.


i dont know what to do... please i need help... i want her back...please!!! should i keep on fithing or just hold off for awhile...i need help ASAP...

Actually you need to stop and take a deep breathe. What you feeling is loss but you are not accepting it which is driving you to act out in a desperate way. Now you can get plenty of help and this board is filled with similar situations like yours and people that can offer you some great advice but you have to be ready to TAKE THE ADVICE! The advice at this time, for YOUR mental and emotional health is to quit contacting her at any time. You must for your own sanity start to rebuild your life. You must become stronger then you were and are now.

Thanks guys! You really knew a lot... I know am still young... am just 21... but experienced a lot of tragic things. My problem now is. Each time I try to focus, I cant. Everything reminds me of him.should I go and talk to her for one last time or just let it be. The last time I text her and asked if she wants to talk about it and clear things up. She she said "! i dont love you anymore!".. why is she like that? I don't want her friends to lead her stray. Because from what I know and see, those male friends of her were bad influences. I really care a lot for her. Guys!. I dreamed of being a 3d model/animator someday... ill be graduating this march.. guys! If ever I caught my dreams come true, will she ever come back to me... can't stop to cry.its not a man thing to do but I can't help it... shes all that I've got... hope she feels something too.hope she'll miss me... but I can't seem to see any hard or negative emotions from him... geee! Why do it have to end this way...

Am sorry...
Will you guys permit me to talk to her for 1 last time?

Its hard to just ignore the person I love...
Now ill be going home alone, eat alone, do things alone...
Can I just talk to her 1 last time and tell her...

"OK i guess i deserve this break up after all that ive done."
"If there will be a chance to meet you again in the near future."
"Will you still give me a chance to prove to you my love?"
"Ill do things on my own as you do things on your own."
"I want you to know that ill always love you."
"Cherish those moments we have."
"Ill be back."
"Ill graduate and work hard for you."
"I want you to open your heart for me when that day comes."


But what if that day comes and she have a new partner?
Can't accept it... am totally deeply madlly in love with this girl...
Gee!

So its me who made the wrong move from the very start?.
Its my fault??


Need more comments...
Please!


Thanks guys...
Can't help but cry...

thanks guys! you really knew a lot...i know am still young...am just 21...but experienced a lot of tragic things. my problem now is. each time i try to focus, i cant. everything reminds me of him.should i go and talk to her for one last time or just let it be. the last time i text her and asked if she wants to talk about it and clear things up. she she said "! i dont love you anymore!"..why is she like that?! i dont want her friends to lead her stray. coz from what i know and see, those male friends of her were bad influences. i really care a lot for her. guys!.... i dreamed of being a 3d model/animator someday...ill be graduating this march..guys! if ever i caught my dreams come true, will she ever come back to me...cant stop to cry.its not a man thing to do but i can't help it...shes all that ive got...hope she feels something too.hope she'll miss me...but i can't seem to see any hard or negative emotions from him...geee! why do it have to end this way.....

am sorry...
will you guys permit me to talk to her for 1 last time??

its hard to just ignore the person i love...
now ill be going home alone, eat alone, do things alone....
can i just talk to her 1 last time and tell her.....

"OK i guess i deserve this break up after all that ive done."
"If there will be a chance to meet you again in the near future."
"Will you still give me a chance to prove to you my love?"
"Ill do things on my own as you do things on your own."
"I want you to know that ill always love you."
"Cherish those moments we have."
"Ill be back."
"Ill graduate and work hard for you."
"I want you to open your heart for me when that day comes."


but what if that day comes and she have a new partner?!
cant accept it....am totally deeply madlly in love with this girl.....
gee!

so its me who made the wrong move from the very start?..
its my fault??!


need more comments.....
please!!


thanks guys...
cant help but cry.....

Dude, I'm sorry I just don't have time to go through and break this down but you have got to QUIT talking to her. None of that emotional stuff is going to help. Furthermore, while you may not have been perfect neither was she so quit painting this picture that you screwed up entirely while this supposed precious angel did nothing wrong. You offered her more then both she and yourself give you credit for. Were you perfect. No. Am I perfect. No. But I'll tell you something both of us have in common with each other that she doesn't have. That's class. I know you wouldn't just toss someone to the curb after 4 years and then be so cruel as to say "Ah I'm feeling charitable you got a couple weeks to win me back." F her. You're here and your reaching out and others and myself will try and guide you through this but you have... YOU MUST take the advice from those that have been in your shoes. You're the not the first guy to ever get dumped, believe it or not I have even been dumped. I can't believe it either. Who in there right mind would let me go. Then again that supposes that I date girls in their right mind. But seriously, the point is that your not the first person to experience this kind of loss and your not the first person to do desperate things in an attempt to get her back. But this is not about her anymore. This is about you. This about YOUR life and you making decisions that benefit you. Decision number one is to quit talking to her in any capacity. None.

What he said ^

Ditto... what Chuff said!!

Could not spread the love and give Chuff the greenies he deserves but he is correct! Absolutely!

she said OK ill give you a chance untillthe last day of this semester.
This is a dealbreaker and when you hear this from the female you love... ITS OVER and time to move on!!

Agreed
What Chuff said!

Well Overdozed, not only do you see the compliments but you'll notice they are all in agreement. The reason I point this out is because you are tempted to do the exact opposite of everything I said. Your road to recovery begins by either facing the reality of what those of us with no emotional attachment with experience in your situation or by acting out in a desperate way which will only make you feel worse. I won't lie to you, where you are at sucks, but I also let you know that if you just give yourself some time and learn to trust the decision your making you will see that everybody was right and eventually you will be happy that you took the that road to a better life where you can live for yourself without being told how to act with in a time frame.

It sounds like she wants some space from the relationship. The best thing to do is leave her alone and if she Loves you she will come back. Stay away from her and where she goes if possible. I know it hurts and you are feeling terrible right now. You can't make anyone love you. The hurt will go away with time. You need to be around people who can support you and help you get through this. You may need to see your doctor and let him or her know what's going on and how you are feeling. Give it some time guy... you will get through it.

Thanks guys... after my last yesterday... I decided to go to a bar... I saw some of my batchmate... old friends... they asked me to stay with them, drink... theyasked me why am I sobering. I told them my story.after 2 hours. I met a girl at that same spot. The girl new me but she totally stranger to me. My old friends told the girl my story. Gee! I wasn't drunk yet, but I just found her hands holding mine. I can't seem to realize it. I don't know when did her hand touches mine.

I went out that night to think. To decide for my own self. Trying to slowly understand what you posted and commented on my life story. I went their to have some time for myself to know myself better.

The girl and I talked for about two and a half hour. It seems that she knew me very well. I didn't let my guard down. She talked to me tenderly. Making me realize things. And it turns out that she was a 1st year student at my school, we are at the same department. I really didn't know.

Each time she rubbs my hand I feel comfortable. Then she started leaning her head on my shoulder. Then she suddenly asked me."am i attractive?" I said "i dont know." then she let go of my hand. I continued drinking, then a few minutes later she asked me again "am i atractive?" I replied "YES??"... then she added, "am i appealing?" I said. "may be.yes?" she smiled.after that she again grabbedmy hand. Playing it. Every time I let go of her hand she always try to hold it again, play it again. All I did was to listen to what she's saying.

After that I went to the bathroom. Am not vomiting of anything, I tried to think. I asked myself questions. Then I realize that I was smiling again. It was that time that I felt comfort, happiness. I even said to myself, "why did i not do these things back then?". "why did i dedicate too much time for my ex?" I can't find the answer... all I know is that am am happy. Not just that time because, after those weeks of no sleep. I slept more than 6 hours. I also woke up smiling. I don't know why? Is this just an after effect?I walked her home that night and thanked her.

Gee!
I also have lots of sketches of my ex... am planning to give those to her... what do you think? Should I give it to her... to keep it as a remembrance? I still haven't contacted or texted my ex.. am following exactly as what you guys told me... even if it really hurts...
Thanks guys!

I really appreciated those advices... all of you guys who commented and gave the advice...
Gee!but I stll feel the pain... right now am asking myself... "do i really deserve her?"... what do you think?

I think in time you will be sick and tired, of being sick and tired, and you will get a life that makes you happy, and move on like the rest of us have done. Matter of time.

Sorry for your pain. So many people here have been through breakup trauma. There is great advice being offered to you on the previous posts, try and use it to your benefit. Sooo much cheaper than a therapist, and available at all hours! You need to take care of yourself, and stop measuring your value as one half of a couple. It is hard enough to stay the course of a life plan on your own, much less try to make someone else do the same. She is going to mess up if that is what she wants to do. Cetainly at age 20 she knows right from wrong. She is not an innocent baby thtat needs to be led by the hand. Consider yourself lucky to have this end before you were further invested in this person She has made a choice . You can choose to graduate, make a good living for yourself.Good luck in the future when you meet the girl who wants the same things you do.

This is simple really. You aren't a couple unless you BOTH want to be, this isn't the case.

I don't care if you want to lose her or not, you already did, she made that choice. Its not yours to make or not.

Move on... and keep in mind if she says get lost and you don't you are officially a stalker, and there are laws against stalking.

Sometimes its harsh to say, but grow a set of balls, consider this chapter of your life closed and move on to the next one.

Yeah its going to hurt... thats life, it builds character. What separates winners from losers is how they handle adversity. A winner takes losses in stride, learns from those mistakes and moves on to the next opportunity. A loser cries in his or her Wheaties.

You have me worried with the whole attempted suicide. I think that you really depended on her for your happiness and made her your whole world.

You really need to seek some counseling. No one... and I mean... NO ONE... is worth killing yourself over.

You have a precious life that someday you can share with someone. But you can't count on someone to make your life happy for you. Its your duty to make your life mean something. To have purpose. To be happy.

What you need to do more than ever is focus on you.

Thanks guys... stay calm and focus... decide on things that'll make me happy... ill just wait...

Guys what if sometime these following days ill encounter her while walking home or something. What will I do? Should I talk to her?

Anymore advice...
I woke up this morning and felt the sting of our break up...
Thanks guys!.

You don't have to ignore her, just don't give her the extra attention you normally would. Say hello in passing, but keep walking. I promise it'll get easier once you take the time to take care of YOU. You are the only one that is looking out for your best interest.

<3 Leslie

Thanks...
The thing is... I don't know if I can handle seeing her with another guy... gee... her tried to call me last night... I didn't answer the phone... am trying so hard not to think of her... am giving myself much work to keep me busy... but still... geee! I know I can overcome this... but I don't know when... gee.. I totally messed up...
*sobs*

What if she saw with this flirty girl I told you about... will it hurt her?? Am not rebounding or anything...
I just don't want to hurt her even if she did hurt me...

Geee

thanks....
the thing is.....i dunno if i can handle seeing her with another guy....gee......her tried to call me last night....i didnt answer the phone....am trying so hard not to think of her....am giving myself much work to keep me busy.....but still......geee! i know i can overcome this.....but i dont know when.....gee..i totaly messed up...
*sobs*

what if she saw with this flirty girl i told you about.....will it hurt her??? am not rebounding or anything....
i just dont want to hurt her even if she did hurt me...

geee
You are on the right track... keep it up and you will find it bothers you less and less. Its going to hurt at first but soon you will feel that decrease more and more. In a few months of keeping her out of mind you will wonder what you made all the fuss about.

Thanks exactly what am feeling... but still I have some regrets...
Gee!

Am meeting lots of new faces now... what'll I do if I ever encounter her? What should I say? Or things like that? Help... I still have some stuffs at her house... shall I go and get those?

Gee!

thanks....
the thing is.....i dunno if i can handle seeing her with another guy....gee......

You mean you wouldn't feel sorry for that guy? I sure would knowing he's dating a callous, crude, bottom feeding skank who's idea of charity is to do nothing for anybody but herself.


her tried to call me last night....i didnt answer the phone....am trying so hard not to think of her....am giving myself much work to keep me busy.....but still......geee! i know i can overcome this.....but i dont know when.....gee..i totaly messed up...
*sobs*

And again I shall point out that you are blaming this entirely on yourself and giving her a free ride when she's done nothing but be a complete b*tch to you. Again I say F her. She gave you two weeks after you gave her 4 years and she then has the nerve to call that charity. I hate this woman and I've never even met her. While you may not be perfect, you did not, in any way mess this up. That's her fault and she knows it... in fact everybody here knows it, the only one that doesn't is you. So I'm letting you in on it. You were not the problem here. Now, not in next month or next year or in 20 years but right now is the time to start placing blame where it goes and I congradulate you because you are not to blame for this.


what if she saw with this flirty girl i told you about.....will it hurt her??? am not rebounding or anything....

I can only hope.


i just dont want to hurt her even if she did hurt me...

geee

Dude, if she just dumped you I'd say that's her choice but she purposely dumped you then led you on then was cold to you, and then tried to get things from you. She didn't try to hurt you, she tried to emotionally and finacially clean you out. I'm telling you, this is not the angel you believe she is. Now I'm all about taking the high road which you have obviously chosen to do, but don't you confuse that with emotional self defense. You should not want to hurt her because you don't want to be near her, not because it's the right thing to do. She didn't break up with you in a respectful and dignified manner so you don't owe her jack. Remember this is about you, she gave up the right to be cared about so that's her problem now, not yours.

thanks exactly what am feeling......but still i have some regrets........
gee!

am meeting lots of new faces now... what'll i do if i ever encounter her? what should i say? or things like that?? help..........i still have some stuffs at her house.......shall i go and get those??

gee!

Get your stuff if it has any value to you, but other than that don't give her any more attention that you would give anyone you don't know. If she says hi, you say hi then move on. Take the moral High road and be nice... but don't give her more attention than anyone else would get.

Its been three days since I last visited this site... I focused on our thesis defense... my instructors approved it... am glad... right now am not feeling that same sting, pain as before... is that a sign that I moved on?

Am really thankful to all of you guys... you really nailed it... again, her mom called last night. I didn't answer the phone, again...

Am having fun with this girl I met at that bar... we were going out after our class.. get a drink or just eat... I don't know, but right now I feel so numb... I just don't know...

Have I really moved on?is this a sign of a brighter future? All that matters now is me and what will I be in the next month or years... gee! Hope she won't go stray...

I kept her pictures, our pictures, her sketches on my drawing book, deleted her pics on my PC... removed her contact number, what else...

Gee! Am really thankful to you guys!
A toast to all of us... ill be here asking some other questions guys... hope you'll stay and answer those... youve given me a place... gee!

Thanks to all of you...
*sobs*

its been three days since i last visited this site....i focused on our thesis defense...my instructors approved it...am glad....right now am not feeling that same sting, pain as before...is that a sign that i moved on?

am really thankful to all of you guys...you really nailed it...again, her mom called last night. i didnt answer the phone, again...

am having fun with this gurl i met at that bar...we were going out after our class..get a drink or just eat...i dunno, but right now i feel so numb....i just dont know....

have i really moved on?is this a sign of a brighter future? all that matters now is me and what will i be in the next month or years....gee! hope she wont go stray....

i kept her pictures, our pictures, her sketches on my drawing book, deleted her pics on my PC.....removed her contact number, what else............

gee! am really thankful to you guys!
a toast to all of us....ill be here asking some other questions guys.....hope youll stay and answer those.....youve given me a place.....gee!

thanks to all of you.....
*sobs*
You've made the first steps to moving on... just keep with it and soon you will wonder what you ever saw in her. Keep looking forward, and don't look back except to learn from your mistakes. Your future is ahead of you, not behind you now.

been days since my last visit here...
I dreamed of her twice the last last night... I don't know why... is that a sign that I can't still let her go? Or just a random dream... yesterday night I went home with this girl I met before my ex.gee! I courted this girl, but I didn't take it seriously... she saw me at the bus stop,waiting... she was weeping.. gee! Iasked her why, she said she and her boyfriend had a fight about a third party. The she said she wants to go home with me. Good timing, no ones home that day. When we got to my place, I offered her a cup of noodles.we sat at my room. I let her do all the talking, then she asked me of my girlfriend. I told her my story. By that time I knew she wanted to get some revenge about what her boyfriend did to her.

I wanted to have sex with her. I know she wants it too that time. I can see through her actions. But I didn't do it. I don't know why? We talked till 3:00 am... then I decided to get her another cup of noodles... as I go back, I saw her asleep... I just let her sleep... I only want her to feel comfortable...

guys... I did the right thing, right? I know how what she's feeling that time. I don't want her to do stupid things like I did, cutting my wrist... I just watched her sleep.. shes cute and sexy... hehehe! Please tell me I did the right thing...

gee! Its still hard to forget my ex...
am trying really hard...

I am so proud, and you should be too! You took the high road, and in spite of your misery and pain, helped another human in misery and pain. That's worth a lot in my book.

This morning... I woke up weeping... I don't know why... it seems that all the sting is coming back again...
Gee!it still hurts... how long will it take me to totally forget her? How long do I have to feel this?
The last thing I know is... last night... at around 1:00 am.. I dreamed of her again... woke up cried a bit.. then sleep again...

I went to the bathroom to wash things up... but I ended up crying again in the shower... I let myself cried for about 2 hours,almost... guys... at this rate, with that no contact thing... is there a chance that she'll come back? I've asked this a lot of times already... I just want to know...
Is there a small chance? Will she ever recognize my pain and sufferings?

This'll be my last week on school... so as her... remember the deadline she gave me... *laughs*
Ill be having a vacation with that girl who I conforted... she said she needed to stay away from that guy for a period... so I asked her to come... ill tell her mom later... ill be doing my favorite hobby... sketching... want to see my sketches?

Hope when I got back here... at this site... ill be able to forget her... hope I can... ill draaaaaaaw 24/7... gee! Ill help her decide for herself...

Hmmm...

this morning...i woke up weeping.....i dunno why....it seems that all the sting is coming back again....

Crying is an outlet for pain. I won't recommend that you do in front of a woman but cry away, it's only helping you.



gee!it still hurts...how long will it take me to totally forget her? how long do i have to feel this?

Have you tried thinking about anything else?



the last thing i know is.....last night...at around 1:00 am..i dreamed of her again.....woke up cried a bit..then sleep again....

Or as I would write that, once you were done feeling the pain you had no problems going back to sleep.



i went to the bathroom to wash things up...but i ended up crying again in the shower.....i let my self cried for about 2 hours,almost......guys.....at this rate, with that no contact thing.......is there a chance that she'll come back? ive asked this a lot of times already......i just want to know.....
is there a small chance? will she ever recognize my pain and sufferings?

Does she really come off as someone who gives a damn about anybody other then herself. Furthermore, you can not pain your way to anybody's heart. Women don't feel sympathy for men can't take charge in certain situations and this is one of those situations.


this'll be my last week on school...so as her....remember the deadline she gave me....*laughs*

I'm going to be subtle. F her deadline. How low of a human being (and I don't like being listed as in the same species as that thing you call your ex, I must admit) to demand that you change in two weeks to meet her approval. Who in the hell is she? Were you dating the Queen of England? Even she isn't worth this treatment.


ill be having a vacation with that girl who i conforted.....she said she needed to stay away from that guy for a period of time...so i asked her to come....ill tell her mom later....ill be doin my favorite hobby....sketching....want to see my sketches?

hope when i got back here....at this site.....ill be able to forget her......hope i can.....ill draaaaaaaw 24/7.....gee! ill help her decide for herself.......

hmmm.....


Good, you've already made plans and you've got something to look forward to. I'm not an artist but I would assume that being on is a great outlet for you to concentrate and focus on something you love. Keep doing that, and also try exercising.

Yeah the deadline thing, dude, that's that's umm as low as it gets. Cutting your wrist? Get help you're highly co dependent and a danger to yourself. You can't change people either it doesn't work. They have to change for themselves. See a therapist man and forget her.

I thought I can get through this by having this vacation thing... im with this girl...
Last night she played the song entitled when your gone by avril... after a couple of seconds I felt a pain... and I want to cry it out to... I rushed upstairs to cry but as I turn my back she grabbed my had and about to slap me, but she discontinued. Instead she said, "if you cry i cry too"... so I decided not to.. I sit right by her side feeling the sting...

I haven't finished any drawings yet because all I see in the canvaz is my ex.. dunno why... all am doing now is trying to comfort her... geee! Yesterday was suppose to be our monthsary thing.. can't help to cry that night... I saw the calendar and it's the 20th of October... glad that she was sleeping when I cried...

Thanks guys for being there for me all this time.. you really knew what to say..
Thanks...

I was just thinking... what if this girl am with right now, in this vacation is falling for me?
Because guys you know what mean... I just came from a break up and I needed time to heal... I really can feel that she falling for me... just don't know what she sees in me... right now I can say that am still having a hard time accepting the fact that its over or should I say that its hard to move on...

Gee! Feels like the sting is getting stonger each day... I still miss her... there are time when I want to grab the phone and call her... but I cant... am doing my very best... but still I end up stumbling... she became my center for 4 years... did everything that she ever wanted me to be... how can she easily forget all our memories? Why is it easy for her to forget the things I did? All I ever wanted was to make it right and look at her eyes, I still get rejected... I received a text from my ex's older sister asking me to come by there house and visit her... I said I cant... now I believe the world really is unfair... ive done nothing to her to do this to me...

Ill be back to check things here as soon as I can... I just rushed here at the nearest café to check this post... I left my friend sleeping... shes cute... gee!

Thanks to all of you guys...
Hope we can all overcome this...
*cries*

Take things one step at a time... and one day at a time for now... don't over think them, a very common mistake so many people make. When the time comes, and the subject comes up deal with it then. Right now just enjoy yourself.

Gee!
Its been a month but still I can't get over it...

*cries*

gee!
its been a month but still i can't get over it....

*cries*

I feel for you man me and my ex haven't spoke for 2 months. I know it doesn't feel like

You are progressing but believe me you are. Continue NC it took me about a month or so

To even start feeling like I was moving in the right direction. Good Luck!

gee! am crying from what i have you posted. i never expected this to happen. i love her. weve been together most of our free time. i showed her everything. i can't sleep and eat that much. i feel so sorry for my self. is there a way to win her back. ive been to a break up before but its not like this. am planning to talk to her sometime this week. i dunno if its right. i havent called or texted her since. i dont want other guysto be by her side right now, i know am being selfish. but thats how i feel. my mind says to just leave her but my heart keeps on saying "GO FIGHT FOR IT"...i really dont know what to do...i check her later this morning but no ones at their house...cant help to think of what shes doing right now..it really hurts..as if we didnt share some memories...as if i didnt become a part of her life...cant she feel anything???will she miss me???how can i get and win her back!?i dunno if i can accept it....its too hard for me....cant help but cry....its getting harder and harder to breathe.shes all that is left for me.am begging you guys.how?!


Buddy, you got the answer by yourself. Why are you expecting us to give you the answer, you already have in front of your face. The answer is you. She gave you the answer. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO PROTECT HER?? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO CONTROL HER LIFE?? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO TELL HER WITH WHOM SHE SHOULD HANG OUT? OR WHAT SHE MUST WEAR? OR WHAT SHE MUST DRINK AND SMOKE? FOR THAT THERE ARE HER PARENTS! AND NEXT TIME, WITH HER OR ANOTHER GIRL, Doesn't MATTER, Don't STAY NEAR HER 24/7. HAVE YOUR LIFE TOO. AND Disappear A LITTLE TIME AFTER TIME. IT MAKES THE THINGS BETTER. WAKE UP!!
In my opinion this is the answer, and you should tell her these words. And than disappear! For some time. Let her think of what you told her. At least she will know you understood your mistakes.
By the way, everyone needs a little time alone. That doesn't mean she doesn't love you. That means nothing more but time alone. SHe gave you the signs, but you missed them. Now, stay away for a little.
HOPE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE TO READ MY POST :)

Yeah the deadline thing, dude, that's that's umm as low as it gets. Cutting your wrist? Get help you're highly co dependent and a danger to yourself. You can't change people either it doesn't work. They have to change for themselves. See a therapist man and forget her.

My opinion. Why the hell people still think they must change other people?

Am still stuck. I can't get my life back to normal. I still love her. I miss her more and more each time I try to forget her. I just don't know what to do, am totally confused. It like my head is about to blow. How can I forget a person I love? FOGETING A PERSON I LOVE IS LIKE REMEMBERING A PERSON I Don't KNEW.
I want us to be together again. This is too much for me to take.

LIFE is REALLY UNFAIR! I thought I can make it, but it seems that the more I try the more am about to break. Am on the edge of giving up. I only cling to the belief that this'll be over someday soon and that she'll be with me like it was before. Am only 22 but I know when and where to get serious. Since a kid I've experienced drastic events and things.

With that 4 years relationship, all I did was to adjust and try to understand her. Why can't she see through it? Did she even think about my sacrifices? Are all girls like that? I've been serious, loyal and dedicated to her. Why can't she even give me a chance? Are promises always made to be broken? Like what they say, or it's the HEART THAT IS MADE TO BE BROKEN? I know some of you guys feel the way am feeling right now.

Can't help but cry each time I woke up after dreaming of her. Those dreams were perfect, I WISH TO LIVE ON THOSE MOMENTS. How can she do this to me? For I've given everything to her!. TO FALL IN LOVE IS AWFULLY SIMPLE, BUT TO FALL OUT OF LOVE IS SIMPLY AWFULL! am too blind to not see it coming to this!

I want to talk to her, but am afraid. ITS TOO PAINFUL TO SEE HER KNOWING THAT I STILL LOVE HER BUT I can't EMBRACE HER!(cries)... will she easy forget me? Please answer me guys. Can she replace that easy? Can't she feel what I feel right now? Is there a chance for us to be together again? Is it that easy for women? I can't stand to see her with another guy, I can't take it! Now I took a bus ride alone going to school. I want to take a bus ride together with her like it was before. She's all I've got, now am all alone most of the time. Its so lonely with her. *cries*

Is it that easy for her, my ex to forget all the things I did? Why is it like that? I tried my best to make things right. I loved her more than I love myself. I still love her. My younger sister text my ex about the incident, that I cut my wrist. She even described how it looks like. 3 cuts on the right 4 on the left my ex got mad at it. Gee!

Our past memories still bugs me, each time I try to sleep. They come all together like a movie playing on my head. I tried to be busy. But at the end of the day, I still feel the sting. I know I just can't escape this, I have to face this. I miss her. How can she dump me like that, for I only want what's best for her and us.dont know if I can make through this semester, she's my strength and reason why I entered college. I don't know if I can concentrate on this semester.

I want to talk to her, I want to plead and cry in front of her, I want her to know how her decision is affecting me, of how hard it is to try and make it through a day with her,that she's the reason why I entered college, that I need her to make it through this, of how I missed her so much and of how I can't forget her because I love her. But you guys do not permit me, am not blaming you guys. You only want to help. Sorry for what I've said, am only being honest to you and obeying what you said.

I knew all about her, may be not all but most of it. She can be easilly infuenced. I knew she's been under her friends influnce. And I don't want to see her plunging down. Am only protecting her? Does protecting someone from harm and bad influence too tight! Gee!

Am planning to talk to her older sister about things. To pour out things am feeling. Will that be okey? I still love my ex, I want her back. I think I've lost my sense of wrong and right. Like I've said, am on the edge and am falling apart. I know its not over because as long as I live I know I have a chance to make it right... living without her is too hard for me...

*cries*


@kuulski - may be not only months... think this'll take a year or so...

@Matteus - yes am still alive... so I must go and meet her and say those things? How about the NC thing?

Part 1-2

Do you want my opinion? Really?


am still stuck. i can't get my life back to normal. i still love her. i miss her more and more each time i try to forget her. i just dont know what to do, am totally confused. it like my head is about to blow. how can i forget a person i love?

I tell you something. These are the words I used to say before 4 months. Did you copy them somewhere :)? Common, look at me now, I was back from the hell man, and I'm happy again. You don't even know what happened to me. I was cheated, disrespected, played, lied, used from so many months, and I was so deep in love with her, when I used to know the truth. Beliefe how hard it is, as I used to get the truth by myself, because the lady had no nerves to breakup and was such a little person to try to say the truth. How does it sound? Hell, right! What I did ? I said to myself, I'm me. Im a strong person. At least I'm a better person who is going to be improved. What was the breakup? JUST A WAY TO UNDERSTAND MYSELF, AND KNOW WHERE I WAS WRONG. I can live by myself. I don't need anyone in the world to make me happy. NOBODY CAN LOVE YOU IF YOU Don't LOVE YOURSELF! AND YOU can't LOVE No one IF YOU Don't KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF. Look at this. You are so down right now, and she is having fun somewhere. That makes you ill. Exactly. What you need to do? Have fun somewhere else too. Friends, etc. I MEAN, HAVE A LIFE!


FOGETING A PERSON I LOVE IS LIKE REMEMBERING A PERSON I DONT KNEW.

Don't base your life on quotes OR OTHER PEOPLE buddy!!


i want us to be together again. this is too much for me to take.

Wishfull thinking... Don't you understand that by your behaviour you ARE NOT THE CATCH ANYMORE?? WAKE UP!


LIFE is REALLY UNFAIR! i thought i can make it, but it seems that the more i try the more am about to break. am on the edge of giving up. i only cling to the belief that this'll be over someday soon and that she'll be with me like it was before.

Life is unfair... oh god, kill this man, really. Who the hell are you? Again and again? You base your life on bad experiences? On breakups? And you took the breakups and bad experiences, as some dramas in your life... LEARN FROM THEM!! THEY ARE THE EXPERIENCES. CAN YOU STAND UP FOR YOURSELF NOW THAT YOU ARE HURT? NOO!! YOU ARE WEAK... ARE YOU? NO? A GIRL PUTS YOU DOWN AND YOU can't STAND FOR YOURSELF? YOU SEE IT...


am only 22 but i know when and where to get serious. since a kid ive experienced drastic events and things.

Serious? Where? When? How? I don't see it. LISTEN NOW. You have to be serious about your life and yourself. Look at you. You little creature. You are discusting me. Can't you see how down you are? Do you deserve it ? SOMEONE PUTS YOU IN THE SH!T, AND YOU STAY THERE TRYING TO REACH HER HAND TO GET YOU OUT OF THAT SH!T AGAIN. YOU THINK It's a GAME. YOU THINK SHE WILL COME AND SAY, HEY COMMON, IT WAS JUST A JOKE. SHE LEFT YOU THERE ON THE STREET LIKE A DAMN DOG, AND YOU STILL HANG UP ON HOPES. ITS OVER. ITS GONE. Its like you like dramas in your life, that's why you had drastic events and things in your life. There is a quote, as I see you like quotes. If you are pesimistic about the things, I'm sorry bro, but that will be the fate for you. You write your own fate.


with that 4 years relationship, all i did was to adjust and try to understand her. why can't she see through it? did she even think about my sacrifices? are all girls like that? ive been serious, loyal and dedicated to her. why can't she even give me a chance? are promises always made to be broken? like what they say, or its THE HEART THAT IS MADE TO BE BROKEN? i know some of you guys feel the way am feeling right now.

Wowowowow the little romeo. Take it easy cause you are making me nervous right now. Really. You did everything for her. Sacrifices. Serious, loyal, dedicated. Pfffffff. You are nothing more but a controlling nature piece of . Look at you again. You did everything to have her approval, and make her stay. Your controlling nature made a plan for the future. You do everything for her, so she can't leave me. She will feel obligated. GOD, why do such people live?


cant help but cry each time i woke up after dreaming of her. those dreams were perfect, I WISH TO LIVE ON THOSE MOMENTS. how can she do this to me? for ive given everything to her!...TO FALL IN LOVE IS AWFULLY SIMPLE, BUT TO FALL OUT OF LOVE IS SIMPLY AWFULL!!am too blind to not see it coming to this!

Yes, cry little baby, cry. Dream about her. Can't you see how obssesed you are? Obssesive, possessive, controlling, manipulator, insecure, jealous, every bad word I can say. Listen buddy. I'm being really harsh with you, but I'm telling just the truth, nothing more. Do you want to stop focusing about her, and in the time you will feel better and let the hurt heal? I gave you 5 points about your character, where you can focus, and work on yourself. So, focus on yourself right now, and that is the only way, to have her back. In the end of a therapy, she will be flying to you, listen to me. BUT, ONLY BUT, IF YOU WILL FIRST LEARN THE LESSON, AND WORK TO BE A BETTER PERSON!


i want to talk to her, but am afraid. ITS TOO PAINFUL TO SEE HER KNOWING THAT I STILL LOVE HER BUT I can't EMBRACE HER!(cries)...will she easy forget me? please answer me guys. can she replace that easy? can't she feel what i feel right now? is there a chance for us to be together again? is it that easy for women? i can't stand to see her with another guy, i can't take it! now i took a bus ride alone going to school. i want to take a bus ride together with her like it was before. she's all ive got, now am all alone most of the time. its so lonely with her. *cries*

You are afraid that she is going to forget about you. That is the point. You love to be loved, no matter what.


is it that easy for her, my ex to forget all the things i did? why is it like that? i tried my best to make things right. i loved her more than i love myself. i still love her. my younger sister text my ex bout the incident, that i cut my wrist. she even described how it looks like. 3 cuts on the right 4 on the left my ex got mad at it. gee!

You are the pain in your , not hers. You are nothing but a loser. You wanted to cut your life because of her?? Do you know what you did with that ? Really? No! You scared your ex even more, you little freak. Absolutely she has every right to fly away from you even more. Don't even think she will want to be with you, because even if she wants, she is scared now that you wanted to cut your life because of her. No one wants drama in their life, don't you understand this?? What if she comes back, and goes away after another round? She will be afraid you will do the same thing again, and that is the reason she will hesitate. Listen to me, stop everything what you are doing! Immediately! YOU ARE SCARING HER!


our past memories still bugs me, each time i try to sleep. they come all together like a movie playing on my head. i tried to be busy. but at the end of the day, i still feel the sting. i know i just can't escape this, i have to face this. i miss her. how can she dump me like that, for i only want whats best for her and us.dont know if i can make through this semester, shes my strength and reason why i entered college. i dont know if i can concentrate on this semester.

Buddy buddy, what should I say... what are you by the way? A man or a female?


i want to talk to her, i want to plead and cry in front of her, i want her to know how her desicion is affecting me, of how hard it is to try and make it through a day with her,that shes the reason why i entered college, that i need her to make it through this, of how i missed her so much and of how i can't forget her because i love her. but you guys do not permit me, am not blaming you guys. you only want to help. sorry for what ive said, am only being honest to you and obeying what you said.

YOU Don't LOVE HER! YOU Don't LOVE YOURSELF! You are just obssesed on this girl. Its your torment. Your nightmare. That's all. You did everything because of her. You admit it. She is your strength. So, she is stronger than you. And you lose. What is the point here? You have to be strong and love yourself in order to love someone else, for the 1 million time. You have to respect yourself, for someone to respect you. Are you doing this? NO! You are crying like a little baby, whom someone stool a toy. And you can't live without that toy?


i knew all bout her, may be not all but most of it. she can be easilly infuenced. i knew shes been under her friends influnce. and i dont want to see her plunging down. am only protecting her? does protecting someone from harm and bad influence too tight! gee!

1. Exactly, she is easy influenced. A toy? Right.
2. I told you, but you don't listen. You are protecting whom? Is she your child? Common, she has a life even without you protecting her. She has her parents for the god sake. DId you had a relationship or what, cause this is what I don't get. You think you were protecting her? I guess, you told her she should not stay with such friends, with such company, etc. right? Because they are bad... exactly. And she went with them. Were you protecting? NO, You were trying to control her and manipulate her thoughts. She knew that, and now she is gone. She was afraid of you and about the future.

Part 2-2


am planning to talk to her older sister bout things. to pour out things am feeling. will that be okey? i still love my ex, i want her back. i think ive lost my sense of wrong and right. like ive said, am on the edge and am falling apart. i know its not over coz as long as i live i know i have a chance to make it right...living without her is too hard for me...

NEVER EVER TALK TO SOME OF HER FRIENDS, OR PARENTS OR SISTERS! YOU ARE ONLY Controlling HER AND MANIPULATING HER THROUGH HER PARENTS AND SISTERS. YOU TALK ONLY TO HER, IF SHE WANTS TO TALK, OTHERWISE LET HER FLY. DO YOU LOVE HER? PROVE IT! LEAVE HER WITH HER DECISION. LET HER GO! CAN YOU DO THIS? YOU Don't LOVE SOMEONE IF YOU Don't LOVE HIS/HER DECISIONS.


@Matteus - yes am still alive.....so i must go and meet her and say those things? how bout the NC thing?

Listen, the last thing. You may accuse me about being harsh, or a pain in the for you, I don't care that much. If you want to hear my opinion, hear it. But I'm not going to say what you like to hear. I don't know if you talk to her, in a way or another. But sooner or later, after every breakup, the couple will try for a little closure, that is for sure. So if she didn't talked to you, I guess she will do it. You should NOT!only if she wants! Than tell her every word I said to you. And the lesson you have learned since the breakup. That you are a controlling type, a possessive, an obssesed person, a co-dependent, an insecure, a manipulator, and everything else. That is what the breakup affected on you. For telling you the real you. You get my poiint? And that you need to go to some therapy, cause you don't want to lose another person in your life, by your behaviour. This way, here is a little white "manipulation" which is fair:

1. you tell her what you have learned about yourself, and you should make a big excuse for your behaviour. That you treated her like a child, like a stupid person.
2. you need to take care of yourself, and your behaviour, and be a better man and partner.
3. by telling her about the therapy, you let her KNOW (do not say to her that the door is open) that the door will still remain open if she thinks to come back sometime, and that she will find someone completely new, in every point.

BUT YOU ARE DOING ALL THESE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF, AND NOT BECAUSE OF HER! Don't GO AFTER HER ASKING HER IF SHE WILL WANT TO COME WITH YOU AFTER THE THERAPY!~!!
After that meeting, you just disappear until she comes in contact again. I really say, go make some therapy, cause you really need one, if you don't want to lose other people in your life.
Look at my quote here below. It will help you a lot!

Get some professional therapy. Anyone who can't or won't accept reality needs professional help before they become a danger to themselves and others. You aren't there yet but you aren't that far from it. Do yourself a favor and get yourself some help. The girl doesn't want you so give it up already. She isn't a possession or thing that you can control or own. When you understand what that means then you might understand what's wrong here and what a relationship really is.

Overdozed, You have a life given you by God. You must make it a good one FOR YOURSELF. Injuring yourself hurts only you hon. She is not going to be impressed because you are emotional. And really, why should you want her to be? Wouldn't you rather have a relationship where you both admire each others strengths? c'mon kiddo, build up those "can do!" muscles, grab life by the ----- and begin enjoying it. Don't waste it on regrets. Make new memories, better ones. You are young, what I wouldn't do to have your youth and energy. Use it to make every day a good day,FOR YOU.
BTW, girls will be more attracted to guy who is confident and happy. I am rooting for you.

Just wondering, if my love for her stays strong through all my efforts in improving, moving on and letting go, then may be am trying to do the impossible and make my heart erase true love. What do you think?

@Matteus
Bullseye! Go got me there right... it took a long while to understand me and myself. All this panicking makes me think and act like this... the pages of my life has left an empty space. But ill fill that empty space soon! You'll see.. am not planning to talk to her anymore. Ill leave it at that. Ill be focusing more on my studies and to improve myself. Ill learn from my mistakes, after all we all made mistakes in our little cute lives. Think I don't need a therapy. Am OK with you being harsh to me. I understand that. Thanks..

@smoothy
Yes I've been a danger to myself. Sorry, it won't happen again. Ei! I don't need a therapy. Bhee! I think am not that type of guy who wants to manipulate her, because some of the things I said and warned her not to do were also the things that her parents told me. Her mom said that I should look at her all times, that she should not smoke, drink etc. its just that her parents expected too much from me that I can't fail them.gee!

@cerisa
Hon?
Ei! God didn't gave me this life. It mine since the very beginning. Sorry I don't believe in deities, gods & goddesses. Yah! Ill look for someone who'll appreciate me like I appreciate her. Gee! Am going out with friends a lot lot lot lot now..




What do you mean by "You never let them catch you. You always keep the mystery. You never give them all of you."??

Are women all liars? Do they only say things like how much they love and care for you, just for you to not to leave them? I don't want to believe that they're selfish and that they only care for themselves.
She's too cold and heartless by that time. Women are so hard to figure! Just want to ask if you have any ideas on why women want different things in the relationship and they change their mind along the way?

I can do this like you guys did!
You'll see!
You'll seee!!

just wondering, if my love for her stays strong through all my efforts in improving, moving on and letting go, then may be am trying to do the impossible and make my heart erase true love. what do you think?

This is not a test, some examination test. I told you the way you should look your position, and how to analyze yourself. I told you some mistakes in your behaviour, which can absolutely be fixed, and all you need is the "Good Will". I am not saying you should not talk to her anymore, and forget her, and move on, as you see. Im saying you should take action on yourself NOW! You still don't get my point. You lost the girl because of you, not because of her or anybody else. And the way you are taking action, like "i wont talk to her anymore, i will erase my heart, etc", you are still doing something against her! Stop it! Its like is her fault why the things went this way. So, in somehow you are judging her again. Stop talking about her, or the things you are doing against her. If she wants to stay a friend, let it be. Remember, you did things against her and her needs, that's why the relation ended. Now you should stop that! Sometimes, these "needs" of a woman, are missinterpreted, which means people just can't understand women at all. Its not about bying things, dinners, gifts, taking "care", "protecting" her, etc. A real need for a girl, is to have a Man in her life! Someone who makes her feel like a woman! Some Man in his shoes, not her shoes! Someone who leads her, and not be leaded from her. Someone who doesn't need her attention, her affection, etc. It's a big difference between "Want" and "Need". And being needy is the opposite of being a Man! What answer do you need more?


@Matteus
bullseye! go got me there right...it took a long while to understand me and myself. all this panicking makes me think and act like this...the pages of my life has left an empty space. but ill fill that empty space soon! you'll see..am not planning to talk to her anymore. ill leave it at that. ill be focusing more on my studies and to improve myself. ill learn from my mistakes, after all we all made mistakes in our little cute lives. think i don't need a therapy. am ok with you being harsh to me. i understand that. thanks..

If you think you understood me... In your shoes, I would take a therapy, but anyway, if you think you don't need... its up to you. By the way, what do you mean by "improving myself"? You made mistakes? Can you make a list and post it here??


@smoothy
yes ive been a danger to myself. sorry, it wont happen again. ei! i dont need a therapy. bhee! i think am not that type of guy who wants to manipulate her, coz some of the things i said and warned her not to do were also the things that her parents told me. her mom said that i should look at her all times, that she should not smoke, drink etc. its just that her parents expected too much from me that i can't fail them.gee!

Are you kidding me ? Her parents told you to take care about her, and not let her smoke, drink etc? You were not her Big Brother for the god's sake. And you are not some kind of Mother Theresa! And she is not your child, but theirs! The last sentence would be an answer I would gave to her parents! It seems to me like you were waiting for an approval from her parents, that you are a nice and "caring" guy. I guess her parents didn't knew you are in a relatioship, not some kind of "best friends". Anyway.



@cerisa
hon?
ei! god didn't gave me this life. it mine since the very beginning. sorry i dont believe in deities, gods & goddesses. yah! ill look for someone who'll appreciate me like i appreciate her. gee! am goin out with friends a lot lot lot lot now..

You didn't appreciated yourself. Still you didn't learned anything. And you think to improve. How, when you still don't know where to begin ? And by the way, don't talk like a "i am a god". You know where you came from. Before 1 month you were needy, and now you don't need anyone?? Common. It's the stage, you think you are better. You feel like that, because you know you can't do anything else to change the things.




what do you mean by "You never let them catch you. You always keep the mystery. You never give them all of you."???

Exactly what she means. You must be the catch and make her respond with attention toward you. Never give everything to the girls.


are women all liars? do they only say things like how much they love and care for you, just for you to not to leave them? i dont want to believe that they're selfish and that they only care for themselves.
shes too cold and heartless by that time. women are so hard to figure!. just want to ask if you have any ideas on why women want different things in the relationship and they change their mind along the way?

Liars.. Or Needers? Or Testers? Think about this.
Women change their minds along the way? Or you make them change the mind? Oh god, its so hard to make you come to her shoes. All I'm doing is to make you come to her shoes, and women's shoes. You change their mind, with your behaviour! Stop it!


i can do this like you guys did!
you'll see!
you'll seee!!!

I didn't do nothing but analyzing my position in a relation. I Must be a Man and act like a Man, in order for a relation to work. I don't need to be her "best friend", but her Man!! This is what you have to understand. This is the lesson from your and my mistakes! That's all. I didn't cut her off my life! I still talk to her now and than and so does she. Everyone told me to not talk to her, move on, forget her, etc. Im not saying they are losers, they just can't do this, and the best way for them is to hide their head like an ostrich in the sand. Am I better than them ? No. I just try to see things in a different way. Am I waiting for results? NO! The only result in all this, will be: I improve myself (priority), and I don't lose a person in my life (secondary)! Instead by forgeting and hiding (in somehow, I would call it hate), you do nothing but you don't learn anything, and lose someone in your life. Do men hide?? Im not saying to stalk an ex!! But I'm not saying to cut her off your life. Think about this.

You can ask whoever you want, and you will see they will not respond the way I tried to respond and make you understand the whole thing. The best way for them is to hide. But none of them will ever judge you. I have to admit that I dislike these kind of situations. I don't have nothing against them, but its like "god forgive them, they dont know what they are doing".
Ask the girls in this forum. Mostly of them will say the same things like I did.

Keep in mind regardless of what her parents say or want, ultimately this girl is an adult and her own person who makes her own choices. What matters is what she decides, not what mom decides.

Now if she is one of those types that expects to have it both ways, run don't walk to the nearest exit. No man deserves the aggravation those women dish out.

Overdozed, sorry if it seems I am trying to impose my beliefs on you. Not the case. I cannot deny the existence of a creator, from which all matter in the cosmos generates from. And you are right, your life is in your hands since your beginning. Glad you are getting out more.

Her parent know am her boyfriend for 4 years. Please forgive my actions. I grew up with no one. Just my younger sister who come and visit me sometimes. I came from a broken family since I was 4 years old. Since their separation, either my mom or dad didn't care for me. Luckily my uncle took care of me. Am living alone now. I wake up alone, sleep alone. Got no one to talk to.

You guys are my therapy. A lot of healing comes here.

I lost her because of me, myself and my behaviors... its not that I will not talk to her forever. I'll move on while waiting for her to talk to me.

My mistakes, just don't know if I did any. Or I didn't see it was a mistake. I only warned her not to do things that her mom and dad don't want. But we both do it sometimes, that's because I love her. I knew her limitations when it comes to alcohols. I think am not that tight to her. There was a time that she deleted all my friends contact number, she said that I shouldn't be with them. So I did. I stayed away from them till the time of our separation.

Am still fighting some urges inside me, so I think I can't talk to her right now.

cerisa its OK.. *smiles* I just have this disbelief of gods since a kid. May be because of my background.gee!

Matt! Your saying that I have to appreciate 1st myself to improve, right? I think I am appreciating myself well, second thought not that well, may be.

I have this ticket to an art gallery this coming December. It was supposed to be my early gift for her this new year. The gallery featured some of my sketches, my ex was my model. She still don't know about it. I did this for her. But now she's gone.

I don't want to hide. You saying that I should be a man always. Decide and act like a man, right?

*sobs*

What we are saying is this, for whatever reason she broke up with you, it doesn't matter if it was your fault or hers. Fact is she made that decision and you have to be man enough to say she wanted that so she has it.

Life can be harsh and this is just one of those times you have to suck it up and move on. Trust me there will be other times in life that will be far tougher to deal with. Such as when you lose a parent, or sibling. Nothing in life compares to that except maybe losing a child.

Trust me in losing a girlfriend is a joke compared to those. Just be a man show maturity and close the door on that part of your life and move forward.

her parent know am her boyfriend for 4 years. please forgive my actions. i grew up with no one. just my younger sister who come and visit me sometimes. i came from a broken family since i was 4 years old. since their separation, either my mom or dad didn't care for me. luckily my uncle took care of me. am living alone now. i wake up alone, sleep alone. got no one to talk to.

you guys are my therapy. a lot of healing comes here.



Im really happy to be on your side buddy. Im sorry for your story, but that's life. Important is to be strong. We all have had vortexes in our little life, but life goes on, and every new day is stronger than the previous day. Living a life, is like having a great house near a crater of a vulcano. Its ironic, but we still love our "great house".



i lost her because of me, myself and my behaviors...its not that i will not talk to her forever. I'll move on while waiting for her to talk to me.

my mistakes, just don't know if i did any. or i didn't see it was a mistake. i only warned her not to do things that her mom and dad don't want. but we both do it sometimes, thats coz i love her. i knew her limitations when it comes to alcohols. i think am not that tight to her. there was a time that she deleted all my friends contact number, she said that i shouldn't be with them. so i did. i stayed away from them till the time of our separation.

I may sound a little tought or weird to the other people if I say this, but you still didn't losed her. You want her back? Right? In somehow, that door is just closed. If it will remain closed or will be open again depends on you and fortune. You may work on yourself, be better, etc etc, and that door still will remain closed. So its like I said before, don't focus on her now. Even repairing yourself with the thought of showing her in somehow that you are changing, its called focusing on her. Just stop doing things for her! Do this for yourself. If she will ever see that you have changed, and you can be again a "boyfriend-material" in her eyes, she will open the door by herself! So I guess you understand what you mean. Don't hold on hopes, and don't lose any minute thinking of her, but Yourself! Be happy, don't worry!

All you have to write on your daily schedule is: work on yourself! When your mission is completed, than you can care about other persons. But always remember, its not your duty to bring happiness in an another person's life.


matt! your saying that i have to appreciate 1st my self to improve, right? i think i am appreciating myself well, second thought not that well, may be.

Buddy, I just talked to you, like I did to myself. And if I talk to you, it means I talk to myself. Hope you understand why I was so harsh toward you (me). I say work on yourself, take your bad side outside you, be a better human, improve yourself, your own happiness, create a aura of happiness around you, and you will see big things happening in your life. Remember, you don't need no one in your life to make you happy!

OverDozed, can I speak to you as an artist then? Now I understand a little more of your intensity. Use your pain. Create from this emotion. That is what artists do. Lose yourself in your art, and you will find yourself. Great art, music, song, books, film, is born of emotion. Think Guernica. Talent, that is another thing. Having a gallery showing says you must have talent. Work it.

Think Guernica?? <-- what is it? *smiles*

I stopped drawing by the time I met her, she told me to stop it. She said she don't want to see me sketching other women. Because that's what I do, and that makes me happy that time. I stopped. Now that am gaining back that happiness, I can say that am finally moving on slowly. Ill try and take all my emotions out, and paint it on a canvas, then the pain will remain on that canvas, then it'll remind me of the times that I have to be tough.

I have this gift and talent, its my happinesss. Am not that great as those artist that'll attend the gallery, but I will be, someday.

By the way, I gave the ticket to my friend, the one that's been with me on the vacation. She said "if i were your ex, i wouldn't let you go." I looked at her and she said, "i can't loose a diamond like you, i mean, what is she thinking?"... I just smiled at her, then laugh. Can't imagine she said that! But those words touched me.

I loosed my girlfriend of 4 years, but I gained my happiness back. And a bit knowledge of who I was and what I really want.

Thanks to all of you guys... hmmm.

Ouch!!



YAWN!!

this is my story...
its been a week since we broke up.weve been out dating, having fun and sex for 4 years. right now am good as dead, meaning no life. september 13 i picked her up at her school. shes 20 am 21. were not studying at the same college. i feel something wasnt right. i asked her if theres a problem. she said she wanted sometime to think and decide for herself. she said she wamted to decide things for her own, making decisions without thinking of me.i know its just an excuse. i gave her a few days. september 16 monday, we ate lunch together. she still have 2 hours free before her next class. but she said that she have to do her assignments for that class, so i let her go. that happens the next day too. then that night i texted her and ask whats wrong? she replied " am no longer in love with you!"..my whole world stoped for a minute.i texted her again, she didnt replied. i picked her up at their house the day after. we talked, she said that she doesnt feel any love for me anymore. it felt like my heart will explode. i asked her to give me a chance and she said yes ill give you a chance if you give me time to think. i agreed. i can't sleep that time, i was asking myself why and what went wrong. then she texted me and said she'll meet me after her class. she said ok ill give you a chance untillthe last day of this semester. that'll be on october 18. i said that was short! the she said "if you dont want it then this is goodbye!"...i have no other options but to agree...after that day i was about to show her how i really feel, i want to comfort her to and give the necklace she wanted. but she refuse to open up.i want to hold her hands but she doesnt want to. i tried to embrace her but she pushed me away.then i tell her. you gave me a chance and now that am trying to comfort you...blah blah blah...she said i gave you a chance to let you know that you dont deserve a chance! thats wierd. that really broke my heart. she gave me a chance of no chance?!. then the next day i sit down beside her and talked. i asked her what really is the reason. she said that i was too tight that she can't breathe no more. she said "i want to do things that i want, i want to be free. she misinterpreted me. i banned her from drinking and smoking coz her mom sont want it for her. i told her to limit being friends with her other school mates coz they were a part of a bad frat at their school.i did those to protect her. is that wrong? tell me guys! i dont know what to do. i dont want to lose her. she all that i have. please guys i need your help. i can't picture myself moving on. i dunno what to do. am depressed. i even cut my wrist a few days ago. luckily my uncle saw me before i run out of blood. am desperate. i dunno what went wrong. am i that tight?! i tried to explain all those thing to her. that i only did it coz i care. is that wrong?! i entered college just for her! ill be graduating next semester. am doing my thesis, but i dont know if i still can go on. i can't think right! her mom trust me a lot. been crying till now! i can't sleep well. i can't stop thinking of her. i even thought that she might be under the influence of her friends. most of her friends were guys, they have their gfs but theyre cheating them. so how can i trust those friends of her. what if those guys abused her while under the unfluence of alchohol?!cant help to think negative things! am not seeing her till now coz she dont want to. each time i try to pick her up at their school, she always pushed me back and shout at me. saying she doesnt love me and that i dont have a chance to win her back...i dont know what to do... please i need help... i want her back...please!!! should i keep on fithing or just hold off for awhile...i need help ASAP...
I'm sorry to say but I really think you should back off for a while. I know that hurts and isn't what you want to hear but your girlfriend obviously feels a bit overwhelmed by all the things you have done by trying to 'help' her. It sounds as though you are being slightly controlling. Also you shouldn't stop her doing the things she wants to or seeing the people she wants to see either! This is a major turn off in a boyfriend as it makes the girlfriend feel trapped and controlled. Hopefully you two could still be friends, and to be totally honest I think you would both benefit from this a whole lot more than being together as couple. This way you can be close still but without the tensions of the relationship. Please don't think this the end of the world... I know it hurts now but as time goes on, it WILL get better. Think about it... do you really want to hold onto someone who's heart isn't in it? Do you want the constant feeling of self worth to depreciate? Because it will. If you feel down now, it'll feel a million times worse if you're in a loveless relationship and the doubts will never leave you. It's a downward spiral and eventually, you'll crash and burn. Please don't get yourself down with it. You seem like a caring person. Spend some time with your friends and concentrate on the thesis and just get through it. Trust me, life is a lot less complicated if you stop trying to fight what's happening. Thing are the way they are for a reason. Hope it all works out OK for you.

Thanks~