I have been with my husband for 11 yrs, married for almost 10. We have one child together she is 9 and my 14 yr. old son from a previus marriage. The problem is I think we are growing apart, we never talk anymore unless we are fighting, we have not been intamate in like 3 months, we are both avoiding each other in that area. I am still attracted to him but I think that is as far as it goes, I love him but I don't feel connected to him anymore. He yells at me over everything everyday, things that are his fault somehow are mine, things the kids do are my fault. I have given up everything for him, I gave up school, a good management job with great money that had a promising future, so we could move out of state to help his parents 5 yrs. Ago. They have since divorced and moved to another city and left us in a town we did'nt know anyone. He got himself in legal trouble before we got together with his licence, and now I am stuck trying to help him get it back. I am his driver and have been all the time we've been together. I have to be his mother on everything. He takes all his anger out on me. I feel trapped!! I have no job because I have to be there to take him to work and anything else he needs. I want my life back I had hopes and dreams but I had to kill them for him. I feel like I have to stay for the kids sake. He is never going to change, he was an alcoholic for 7 yrs. Of our marriage, he is in recovery now and yes, he is a little better but not much. I just don't know if I want to be with him anymore but I can't leave because we are in booneyville and I have no job! If he was a little more attentive and considerate and not so angry all the time or gave a crap about important stuff, maybe I would feel differenly, but he acts like because he has a job I should cater to his every whim, I have to have coffe ready in the morning and bring it to him and have his clothes laid out and have dinner ready when he gets home everyday for the rest of my life!! I don't want to be a HOUSEWIFE!! I hate it. I need to work, I need to have outside interests but I can't he needs me to be here if he needs something and the kids need me to take them to and from school and to and from girlscouts and football .
I love my family don't get me wrong and I always dreamed of being a wife and mother, but I am a slave, a cook, a chauffer, I am not a wife anymore and now I'm not sure if I want to be anymore. The only thing he has going for him are his looks, I don't think he will ever grow up and take responsibility for himself. Help??

I guess what I am trying to ask is, is there anyway to get the romance back and maybe my sense of self in the process? I feel like my whole life is being spent catering to everyone's else's needs and I have been put on the back burner. I don't even know who I am anymore? I am sinking back into a depression I haven't been in in years and it scares me to death! I was diagnosed with clinical depression 9 yrs. Ago and was on meds for a while but haven't been on them in about 4 yrs. I have handled it on my own until recently I have no health insurance to see a doctor about it so for now I am taking st.johns wort, hopeing it will help. If you read some of my other posts on different things you'll see why I am feeling this way. My whole family takes me for granted, no one cares if I am lonely or sad, the fact that my husband is one of them is very upsetting because he is the main person I go to when I feel this way, but I feel this way about him this time so I can't go to him? I just want US back, he acts like I am obligated to cater to him and my life means nothing, I tell him I want to work and he says nothing, he believes a women's place is in the home. He is'nt against me working as long as I doesn't interfere with his plans or the kids plans and I am still her to cook, clean, do laundry and drive them everywhere! I am fed up... I need help and have no one to turn to?

I think if you two do some counseling you can be fine again. I've been married almost 32 years and we went through that phase too. Marriages must be maintained. When things start to go wrong, you talk about it and fix it, not give up. If you both are willing you can fix this. Don't let the intimacy die. Talk about get and get back in the bed with each other. Get some counseling to help you resolve your problems.
I wish you well.

All of us go through that rut sometimes when we wonder is this all there is, but fear not as your kids get older and independent you will have more time to be yourself and hubbie can learn to get his own coffee, I did, its not rocket science. Talk and listen, without the emotional anger, as you needed to vent. But plan now to get yourself a life, and let him take more responsibility for his own issues. Consult a paster, or mature friend as you could use some counseling, and see a doctor pronto, as only he can tell if That Wort is doing enough, but be patient and bring back the communications, so he knows where you stand, and what your wanting to do, as he must carry his load. Good Luck.