I'm having trouble with everything in my life if anyone cares post anything on this cause I'm probably going to kill myself if there's no one who will care if I die

Can you name anything in specific about your life that bothers you?

Can you name anything in specific about your life that bothers you?

Okay. So what's going on?

I am transgender female to male its probably in the dictionary if you don't know what transgender is I have no friends my parents are divorced I'm deslexic so I have trouble with homework and on and on whenever I try to go to sleep the silence brings back all my problems then I can't sleep so I'm practilly a zombie

Answer

Answer

Please

This isn't like a chat room, be patient and people will answer you.

I can't go to sleep this is is the only thing that's keeping me from tieing a slipknot in my sholaces and hanging myself

Try writing a little more about how you feel and why you feel that way, it will help people to help you.

A lot of people in America aren't awake yet, so you may need to wait a few hours for most of our members to come online.

o.k apperantly I have manic deppresion I am currently on hormone blockers I think I have night time anxiety because everythings scary and depressing when your lying in bed and everythings pitch black even though your eyes are open

I think you definitely have some deep problems and should see your doctor so that he can direct you to a healthcare professional who can best help you.

o.k apperantly I have manic deppresion I am currently on hormone blockers I think I have night time anxiety because everythings scary and depressing when your lying in bed and everythings pitch black even though your eyes are open you know what I mean. My parents are getting divorced wich alone is living hell I see a shrink but I'm never deppresed when I see her because when I'm depressed enough to talk abot stuff its usually around 3 in the morning on a Monday. I read news paper articles talking about bush (little idiot he is) or I'm at the sk8park and someone thinks that queer pple chose to be queer
And I want to hurt someone so badly that they understand what kindve pain I'm going through

And whenever I think of the future all I can see is me killing a bunch of pple than killing myself

Oh yeah and I have a healthcare professional

i am transgender female to male its probaly in the dictionary if you dont know what transgender is i have no freinds my parents are divorced im deslexic so i have trouble with homework and on and on whenever i try to go to sleep the silence brings back all my problems then i can't sleep so im practilly a zombie

Perhaps playing the radio quietly with tunes that you like when you are trying to go to sleep would help you. When my daughter was younger, she used to do this.

Perhaps playing the radio quietly with tunes that you like when you are trying to go to sleep would help you. When my daughter was younger, she used to do this.
There's nothing on the radio its all something from the 70's or its some dude who thinks he's cool because he's so shallow/self centered that he's talking and calling it singing

The music I like is my chemical romance, Linkin Park (not there new album), red jumpsuit apparatus, gym class heroes, panic at the disco you get it and I don't have a radio anyway

Id listen to my iPod but my headphones are so cheap that no matter how much I turn the volume down it still hurts my ears and plus I figured id be more tired if went to slep for 3 hours then if I pulled my own version of an all nighter

So that's not my real problem

Caffeines going to get me through the day any way so...

Do you have a television?

Do you have a television?

I am still waiting for an answer.

Patience is a virtue and yes but my parents put parental control on every single channel on it

If there is a music channel that you like, maybe you could have that one playing softly when you are trying to sleep?

You might ask your parents about that.

Do you live in the U.S.

If there is a music channel that you like, maybe you could have that one playing softly when you are trying to sleep?

You might ask your parents about that.

Do you live in the U.S.?
Yes I live in the us however the tv's not in my room...

Oh and check out my other posts I need help

I already have checked out your other posts. If you continue to post questions all over this site about your problems that you have mentioned in this post, you are going to be confusing people who are trying to help you. If you have problems about cutting or thinking about death, then I think that you had better keep your responses right here. The Administrators of this site don't like it when you post all over the place with questions about the same sort of subjects. You might get viewed as being a troll and be banned from the site. You wouldn't like that, would you?

Troll (Internet) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll)

If you are twelve years old and in the U.S. you need to try to get some sleep. I am going to do that very soon...

Kk thnks

By the way, if you are going to continue to drink a lot of caffeine, then you are going to just give yourself more problems. Drinking caffeine and having a lot of thoughts when trying to go to sleep is probably a big part of your problem at night. I used to drink an enormous amount of it during the day. I can't tolerate it at all anymore. Even in small amounts. My heart beats irregularly and my mind starts racing. I get into a panic. It is a really unpleasant feeling!

The hidden dangers of caffeine: How coffee causes exhaustion, fatigue and addiction (http://www.newstarget.com/012352.html)

kk thnks

Okay. You're welcome! :)

You already know that there are many people on this site who will try to help you to sort out the problems that you have. But, you also have to work on the suggestions that you have been given. If you don't, then people will not be as willing to help you.

Please go to sleep!

I never knew this clough, I will cut down from the coffee, once again you've come to rescue;)

If you can't sleep, try and get a white noise machine, take up meditation? Do something relaxing to try and clear your brain.

Thnks for the help but sleep isn't my big problem so please stop posting about how to sleep better

What is the big problem apart from you wanting to kill yourself? What is it that's making you feel like this? Generally this stems from something?

what is the big problem apart from you wanting to kill yourself? what is it thats making you feel like this? generally this stems from something?
Read through all the earlier posts I stated most of the bigger ones there

OK... this is going to be a stupid question but what makes u happy? Like... u no friends n stuff? Cos like I no when I feel really at my worst and after being on anti depressants for quite sum time that happened a lot I needed my friends and stuff that makes me happy, even things like books n video games or a cuddly toy. I know it probably sounds lame, but that's what helped me get through really bad times.

I like reading books I've already read again and I like listening to music

Cool that's a start... how about reading one of your favourite books when you feel bad? Sort of use it as a distraction or thinking about one of your fave songs? Something to take your mind of everything when it all seems to be going wrong?

Well my favorite books are mostly pretty depressing and so is the music I listen to

Here's a song I like to listen to and helps me when I'm feeling helpless. I don't know if you like that sort of music but you can look for a sample on the internet to listen to.
" See The Sun" by Trance Blackman.
In general, when I feel like that I listen to any type of uplifting music. And of course, pray to God. And he helps me a lot. And one piece of advice, don't mind the people which might criticize you, they just don't know what you're going through so that gives them no right to judge you in any way.

akms- you mentioned that you have a "shrink" but what does that mean? Is it a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist? Let them know how you feel when you are trying to go to sleep. They care about more than just your current feelings; they can't help you if you don't tell them about all of your problems.

One more thing: you said your parents have the parental lock on every TV channel, are they excessively strict with you? Do they know that you're gender-queer? Are they sending you to a religiously affiliated therapist? If you are going to a religiously affiliated mental health professional, would it be possible to see someone else? I only ask because I'm afraid they'd put their religious beliefs ahead of your well-being.

I'm going to some therapist physcholigist don't actuallyknow wicth I've told them about my sleep problems but we didn't talk much about it my shrink deals with teenagers and trans pple so she's fairly good I just don't tend to see her when I'm actually depressed and I pretty much ferget why I'm depressed when I'm not actually depressed but you have 2 skedule apointments my parents know I'm gender-queer but they think it might be a phase
And my parents are strict about something's and not others

I just started taking ridlyne (im not sure how its spelled) but its used for a.d.d and deppresion I was just surposed to take it fr a.d.d but they thought it might work fr both and its working fairly well I drank caffeine witch I'm not supposed to but I fergot and now I'm kind of jittery it feels like my harts kind of quivering but besides that I feel fine

p.s my parents don't actually know I'm using this site

I know it's hard to avoid it, but if you could do an effort to stop it with the caffeine a little bit, so you don't have any medical interactions or stuff like that. Have you ever tried taking any natural herbs or things like that which are to give you energy?
And about your parents not knowing that you're using this site, I believe there's absolutely nothing wrong with using it, and they do not need to know about it. If it's in any way helping you, it really shouldn't matter if they know or not, unless you're revealing something important here that they don't know and need to know. If you're hiding anything from them that might be crucial for your well being, you probably should tell them, cause that way they have a better chance of helping you out more. The more you speak out, the more tools there will be for your help.

Um the reason I don't tell them is because theyed freak out and think I was going to pull I gun out of my pocket that minute and blow my brains out
They know I'm suicidal but I don't like reminding them

Well OK if they really freak out bad, then don't tell them, but do tell someone who can actually help you instead of freak out, if you haven't already.
Just tell me one thing... if you really get to feeling bad, will you actually, not just in thought, but in action, attempt suicide??

Ok so maybe my last question was sort of stupid.
What I really meant was... Do you think that you could really control an urge of feeling of attempting suicide? Like is there at least something, even the smallest bit of hope in your heart that would keep you from doing it if you got into a bad crisis??

You should keep a journal of your feelings. Just write things down when you're in bed/right before you go to bed. How can you forget how you feel when you have it in writing?

I hope you're seeing a clinical psychologist. You have some very serious issues that a masters level mental health worker probably isn't qualified to address and that a psychiatrist will simply try to medicate. I should clarify: you need medication, but you need therapy, which is something very few psychiatrists will provide. Also, your adhd medication is a stimulant very similar to caffeine. When you drink caffeine, it's like you're overdosing.

Tell your parents that their reaction to your problems makes you want to withdraw from them, they'll come around. Parents don't always know how to handle their children's needs, and if you're not upfront with them, they'll never learn how.

As always, I hope this helps.

I have a journal but I ferget to use it a lot I like writing poems on the computer and stuff though

I'm seeing a fairly good therapist on a scheduled base and I'm seeing what I think is a clinical psychologist but she may just be a regular doctor less often I took a kind of test to see how smart I am in different things and to see if I had things like a.d.d and dexcelexia


I know caffeines not a good thing to have while on this but sodas the only thing that they sell at the skatepark so yeah also I'm not sure if its adhd I think it might just be add

How can you be transgender at 12 years old? That costs a lot of money. Are your parents helping out in this?

Saying someone is transgender has nothing to do with their genitals. Many transgender people never undergo gender reassignment because of the costs, both financial and psychological.

akms: try to remember to write in your journal. In addition to keeping a journal for your poems and other writings, you should keep a journal that illustrates your problems for your psychologist.

I agree with the above answer...

im having trouble with everything in my life if anyone cares post anything on this cause im probally going to kill myself if theres no one who will care if i die
You should see a medical doctor and tell him exactly how you feel. There is a reason and many things in the body can get out of balane. Maybe the thyroid tests would be an interesting thing to check. What about your home situation and your age? Good luck.

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