Well I'm 17 and I was wondering what should my age cut off limit be

Cut-off for what? Babysitting? Parachute jumping? Getting a master's degree?

You are a teen until you turn 20 if that's your question.

My question is

How old should the oldest guy be for me to date


I'm not sure if that makes any sense

Do you have someone in mind, or are you hanging out with an older crowd? Once you're 18, there's no age limit. Study hard, get your high school diploma, and think about a career. You will be 18 before you know it.

Yea I know that
But older guys understand me more

At 17, its pretty much open. You are on the cusp of adulthood. The bigger issue is how old are the guys that want to date you? I would probably stick to 20 something's as being those with more in common with you.

28

I say at the most 3years older, until you turn 18, you can date who ever you want.

Good Luck :)

Alive and upright, after you reach the age of majority. Anyone could have plenty to offer.

28
28? You say older guys understand you better? He understands what it takes to get in your pants.
He is too old and he knows it. In fact, right now he could go to jail. Get your education and date someone closer to your own age.

Two to three years older seems to work best from general observation, that's what I set myself at your age. Now I'm a bit older I'd go 5 or 6 tops and when I'm older still I'd probably consider larger age gaps.

You don't really want to date a person who is doing stuff you can't really identify with like graduating from uni, getting a mortgage, getting divorced, planning their retirement...

I think it generally it is best to stick to people at the same stage of life as yourself, less conflict of interests, less problems in general. At your age you don't really want a relationship that is an uphill battle. I mean problems with someone just a bit older are them moving, parents disagreeing, not being able to go places they can etc. Better off avoided if you can.

In conclusion to my ramblings I definitely think two to three years are best.

Best of luck to you

28? You say older guys understand you better? He understands what it takes to get in your pants.
He is too old and he knows it. In fact, right now he could go to jail. Get your education and date someone closer to your own age.

Yes older guys do understand me better and are not just interested in sex. I do not beileve he could go to jail because we are not having sex and or dateing.
Guys my age are SHALLOW and IMMATURE

guys my age are SHALLOW and IMMATURE

Not all of them, you find the nice ones at this age you've got a good 'un for life. I've met many 17 year old boys I have got on with at an intellectual level and have been funny and sophisticated. (I have a younger brother and made friends with his friends) Yeah sometimes they'd tell an immature joke but who doesn't? You’re a bit po faced if you can't appreciate a rubbish joke/ jumping around like an idiot/ dressing like an explosion in the joke shop.

They are not all shallow either, insecure and hiding it maybe, but not shallow. You sound like a four year old going, 'urgh I hate boys they're icky!'

Anyway you could go out with someone a tad older who would be settling down an bit and seem more sophisticated without them being 28. Although I'd have to say young men aren't that much different to lads really, I'd say the level of stupidness tends to increase as they learn how to get away with it (sorry guys)

At 28 the main thing he's going to have over an 18 year old is smooth talking experience, and being able to dazzle you with a flat, car and money. If he doesn't have the last three things it's even worse because then I know exactly why he couldn't get a girl his age!

I know a lot of friends who dated 30 ish men when they were your age. It didn't end well, and now they are under no illusion that they were used good and proper. Perhaps it's time to learn by other's mistakes so other's don't learn from yours.

yes older guys do understand me better and are not just interested in sex. i do not beileve he could go to jail because we are not having sex and or dateing.
guys my age are SHALLOW and IMMATURE
Pardon me but that sounds like a statemnet a SHALLOW and IMMATURE girl would make trying to justify wanting to date a 28 year old man.
You need to be questiong the motives of a 28 year old who goes after a 17 year old. Girl that man is too old for you. You are a minor and he messing with you, you could not even go to a bar with him.
10 years is a huge difference, especially when you're 17 years old. My opinion, you need to leave adult men alone until you are one yourself.

I'm 28 and I look at a 17 year old as a CHILD. My cousin is 17 and I could never find myself being interested in any of her friends. That I disgusting. I have to seriously question what this 28 year old is thinking. While you may believe that he understands you more its really that he understands how to play you better then a 17 year old. Do not get confused the only interest a 28 year old could have in a 17 year old is sex PERIOD. End of story that's it. You are completely mentally, emotionally, life-wise incompatible.

Now if you were 27 and he was 38 that's different. But right now you have NO life experience regardless of what you may believe about yourself. A healthy adult relationship is built on both people bringing an equal amount of stuff to the table. Right now you don't have much.

Have you met everyone in this guys life? Friends, co-workers, family? What do your parents think?

If you're 17, don't date anyone older that 19 TOPS. I'm 28 and even the thought of dating someone your age freaks me out. My brother is 27 and he would never date someone under age 21, let alone someone in High School.

Try and look at it this way. If YOU see guys your age as immature... why doesn't this 28 year old see people your age as immature? If you think 17 yr olds are immature now, how do you think you'll feel when YOU'RE 28?
Believe me when I say, if a 28 yr old man is showing interest in someone your age, HE'S immature.

Pardon me but that sounds like a statemnet a SHALLOW and IMMATURE girl would make trying to justify wanting to date a 28 year old man.
You need to be questiong the motives of a 28 year old who goes after a 17 year old. Girl that man is too old for you. You are a minor and he messing with you, you could not even go to a bar with him.
10 years is a huge difference, especially when you're 17 years old. My opinion, you need to leave adult men alone until you are one yourself.

Atcually I am going after him not the other way around

If he's smart, he'll run in the opposite direction.

atcually i am going after him not the other way around

STOP.

If this man has any sense he will stay far, far away.

If there is no one your age to date then look no higher then 18. If you can't find anyone else then wait until you go to college where there will lots of new people and plenty of mature guys.

atcually i am going after him not the other way around
Then you need to chill, because you are not only asking for trouble, you are placing that man in a potentially criminal and ugly situation. But if he is a decent guy, he will tell you to go home and grow up.

I'm not trying to have sex with him so there is no criminal situation

Regardless of whether sex is involved you have no business chasing a grown man. You are a child. I know you don't see yourself that way but that is how a 28 year old should view a 17 year old. It doesn't mean that you aren't mature or intelligent or interesting it just means that you are young. I enjoy my 17 year old cousins company I think her friends are great kids but they are just that KIDS.

Any 28 year old who would pursue a relationship with a 17 year old is either looking at you JUST for sex, is an incredible loser who is incapable of getting a woman his own age, mentally & emotionally stunted. Does this sound like someone you would want to date?

My cousin at the age of 16 years old was dating a guy who was 25. At first i hated him because he was older. Then we got to know him better and well here they are 5 years later getting married & living life. So does age matter no. If it is the wrong crowd then i would say yes.

So just make your decision wisely thats all. Good luck.

i'm not trying to have sex with him so there is no criminal situation
Then.. what exactly do you want from this guy?

If you find it hard to relate to guys your age, what do you think you have to offer to older ones?

Some girls think that if they 'skip' over their age group they will 'skip' over the experiences of dating and breaking up - in a way overstepping what they feel is a pain that is not worth it. But what they don't understand is that we all have to go through the learning process of meeting, dating, falling in love, breaking up, etc. It is all an important part of our emotional growth and development.

If you think you can 'skip' over this... then you might wind up in a life of always trying to be what you think 'they' want you to be and will forget your own personal growth and goals in life.

Don't do this to yourself. Taking shortcuts does not always mean you'll get to any given destination safely.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_22_19.gifEnjoy being young.. you are only there once.

My cousin at the age of 16 years old was dating a guy who was 25. At first i hated him because he was older. Then we got to know him better and well here they are 5 years later getting married & living life. So does age matter no. If it is the wrong crowd then i would say yes.

So just make your decision wisely thats all. Good luck.

For every success story about such an age gap, there are usually 10 times as many horror stories about adults exploiting children. Yes age DOES matter when there is an adult and a minor involved. Anyone who thinks differently is being irresponsible.

The vast majority of 25 yr olds would look on a 16 yr old as a kid. Which means the only real attraction between them would be physical and that would be sick.

Well Scottgem I am sticking to my answer. So you can act like its sick or gross but if you know the person what's so wrong with it? Obviously she hangs around older men... like I said "So does age matter no. If it is the wrong crowd then i would say yes." So its based how the person has treated her in the past. Nothing was ever done wrong to her, why not. Whatever seems right to you go for it. Its not like your marrying him yet. Lol. If something's start changing with him then back away, it could get bad.

Well Scottgem iam sticking to my answer. .

The problem with your answer is that you are encouraging a child in a situation where there is a strong possibility that they may be exploited. And that is VERY wrong.

There is something very wrong with a 25 year old guy messing with a 16 year old girl. No adult in their right mind or with right motives does such a thing. I don't care how nice you think he is. That is criminal. He has taken advantage of a teenager.

Miss Lovley has not responded much but...


yes older guys do understand me better and are not just interested in sex. i do not beileve he could go to jail because we are not having sex and or dateing.
guys my age are SHALLOW and IMMATURE

Then she says that he is not chasing.. SHE is.

MY QUESTION WAS NOT ANSWERED YET..

What exactly do you want from this guy?


http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_33_7.gif

Then.. what exactly do you want from this guy??

If you find it hard to relate to guys your age, what do you think you have to offer to older ones?

Some girls think that if they 'skip' over their age group they will 'skip' over the experiences of dating and breaking up - in a way overstepping what they feel is a pain that is not worth it. But what they don't understand is that we all have to go through the learning process of meeting, dating, falling in love, breaking up, etc. It is all an important part of our emotional growth and development.

If you think you can 'skip' over this... then you might wind up in a life of always trying to be what you think 'they' want you to be and will forget your own personal growth and goals in life.

Don't do this to yourself. Taking shortcuts does not alway mean you'll get to any given destination safely.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_22_19.gifEnjoy being young.. you are only there once.

I'm not taking any shortcuts nor am I trying to I want to date an older guy

Miss Lovley has not responded much but.....



Then she says that he is not chasing.. SHE is.

MY QUESTION WAS NOT ANSWERED YET..

What exactly do you want from this guy??


http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_33_7.gif


I want a relationship.
Someone I can talk to about whatever
Someone I can go out with and have fun
Someone to be there for me
I WANT a man not a little boy

That sounds fair.

But.. what you want and what they want might be two different things.

I guess you are not aware that men that old get in trouble or are actually looking for trouble when accepting advances from girls your age.

So please be careful in your effort to get your Mr. Perfect.

I can only caution you and wish you the best and hope that you don't have to give up more than you want to get there.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

I accept that but any guy that ever treats me wrong witll have to deal with my family and trust me my family is not one to mess with.

What do they think about your pursuit of this older guy?

Do you have a good relationship with your father? I ask that because that is what a lot of young girls are looking for when they get with older men, a father figure. They just don't realize it.
A guy that age who befriends a 17 year old has either a screw loose, or that is what he wants. Mature decent men don't mess with teenagers.

what do they think about your pursuit of this older guy?

No and they are not going to know

Do you have a good relationship with your father? I ask that because that is what a lot of young girls are looking for when they get with older men, a father figure. They just don't realize it.
A guy that age who befriends a 17 year old has either a screw loose, or that is what he wants. Mature decent men don't mess with teenagers.

My father is a dead beat and no I am not looking to replace him
And my male friend does not have screws loose thank you very much

no and they are not going to know
Why? Is there something you are ashamed of? If you are keeping this relationship a secret from your family, doesn't that tell you something? Sure screams out to me.


my father is a dead beat and no i am not looking to replace him
and my male friend does not have screws loose thank you very much

Sorry, but a 28 year old having a relationship with a 17 yr old DOES have a few screws that need tightening. Too bad you don't recognize it.

my question is

how old should the oldest guy be for me to date


i'm not sure if that makes any sense

OK, this is what you came to us for in this thread.
Then we asked you if he was chasing you, you said You were chasing him.
Throughout this you insisted that you wanted a Man and not a Boy..
We told you of the possible consequences and asked if your parents were aware..
You don't want your family to know your intentions, but you are certain that if you get hurt by anyone, they will beat the crap out of whomever..

Now.. you want FUN, someone to talk with, go places with...
You did not state what kind of FUN.. and fun to a grown man includes SEX, like it or not.. that's just FACT.
You did not state what you wanted to 'converse' about.. school? economics, history, art, etc.
You did not state what places you wanted to go to with him.. where do you want to go that you cannot go by yourself or with friends?.

I think you have a canvas in front of you and don't know with which color you want to paint with. We all have to start with an idea, and I think yours' is a fantasy that will only lead you on a very dangerous journey.

You are looking for something, but, in my opinion.. you are looking in the wrong place.

Boys are not the only ones with one-track minds.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_15_57.gif

Bottom line is miss lovely is the one who will make the choice.
Miss lovely you seem like you like this guy bottom line, no one is going to change your mind.
So if you like him just try first by getting a little closer to him (not like making out and all).
Meet his family, have him meet your family even if it is with other people too so its not akward.
If he declines either one then you should just give it up.
The most important people in your life should always be family.



Did this guy ever actually ask you out on a date or are you just liking him..

We really like each other and we figured this out last night(not sex)

Why? Is there something you are ashamed of? If you are keeping this relationship a secret from your family, doesn't that tell you something? Sure screams out to me.



Sorry, but a 28 year old having a relationship with a 17 yr old DOES have a few screws that need tightening. Too bad you don't recognize it.


I do not tell my family anything about my love life it is none of their business

OK, this is what you came to us for in this thread.
Then we asked you if he was chasing you, you said You were chasing him.
Throughout this you insisted that you wanted a Man and not a Boy..
We told you of the possible consequences and asked if your parents were aware..
You don't want your family to know your intentions, but you are certain that if you get hurt by anyone, they will beat the crap out of whomever..

Now.. you want FUN, someone to talk with, go places with...
you did not state what kind of FUN.. and fun to a grown man includes SEX, like it or not.. that's just FACT.
you did not state what you wanted to 'converse' about.. school?, economics, history, art, etc.
you did not state what places you wanted to go to with him.. where do you want to go that you cannot go by yourself or with friends?..

I think you have a canvas in front of you and don't know with which color you want to paint with. We all have to start with an idea, and I think yours' is a fantasy that will only lead you on a very dangerous journey.

You are looking for something, but, in my opinion.. you are looking in the wrong place.

Boys are not the only ones with one-track minds.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_15_57.gif


Maybe if I had friends that weren't druggies I would hang out with them but nooo
And I stopped taling to all of them because I did not want to go down that road

Dear, sorry that there are nothing but 'druggies' around.

Try spending your free time somewhere nicer. Wonder off to a nice park or mall, meet new people somehow. You are not tied to your neighborhood or public school all day, so do a little searching.

Join a class or activity after school and get your parents to take you. Tell your parents you need something more to keep you busy and happy.

Good luck.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

My male friend keeps me busy and happy:]

my male friend keeps me busy and and happy:]

It sounds to me as if you no longer have to do any chasing. Just be fair to him and don't let him jeapordize himself or you legally. Make darned sure that you do only what you want to do and do not bough down to pressure from anyone.

Be happy.


http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Thank you I will make sure I do what I want to and I'm not going to do anything that would put him in a perdiciment because I care for him

Does this guy know you are a minor?

Does this guy know you are a minor?

Yes he does and he doesn't care.
AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER!
If your going to keep giving me negative feedback I would love for you to stop

yes he does and he doesn't care.
AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER!
if your going to keep giving me negitive feedback i would love for you to stop

So we are back to a 28 yr old man taking up with a minor. Sorry but age is not just a number when we are dealing with an adult and a minor. The both of you can keep telling each other that as much as you want to try and convince yourselves. But its not going to change the realities.

And no we will not stop. Even if your situation is as you state it. Even if your relationship bucks the odds and is successful, it represents the exception. The vast majority of the time an adult taking up with a minor is about exploitation. And I, for one, am not going to let someone paint a rosy pictire of it that may lead to some kid being exploited.

It is not like we are going to have sex I'm smarter than that

If you're 17, don't date anyone older that 19 TOPS. I'm 28 and even the thought of dating someone your age freaks me out. My brother is 27 and he would never date someone under age 21, let alone someone in High School.

Try and look at it this way. If YOU see guys your age as immature... why doesn't this 28 year old see people your age as immature? If you think 17 yr olds are immature now, how do you think you'll feel when YOU'RE 28?
Believe me when I say, if a 28 yr old man is showing interest in someone your age, HE'S immature.

Truth time; bottom line: 99.999% of these guys want sex. It's a reality, she is flatted and it feeds her ego that someone his age is interested. The result can only be disastrous for her.

well i'm 17 and i was wondering what should my age cut off limit be
Read this article.. its hilarious but true :D

Man, 37, marries 69-year-old woman (http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2007-03/12/content_825274.htm)

An older woman with a younger man is more honest, but you know, it's a lot creepier when men don't date their own age, its not like his age group is "old" they are still very young, and there are plenty around. They also look very young, not old, at his age.

Truth time; bottom line: 99.999% of these guys want sex. It's a reality, .

You know, I wish I could hotly deny that, and believe there are some men left that only want platonic friendship, but I have to agree with you. Every male "friend" I have wants to have sex.

Its very depressing. I mean, there isn't a man out there that doesn't have designs on a woman.. its almost safe to say "all men" because it just seems like all men, we can't meet all the men in the world, but we know for sure they don't want to be our friend to play scrabble or knit sweaters with us. Unless the woman is so unattractive that he just can't go for it, he will go for it, which is no compliment at all. MANY Men will F anything if given half a chance and have no respect for the fact that a female is a minor. That's tells you their character and what kind of person they are, and is enough to get away from them.

Most girls will go for the "older guy" because they think he is different and exciting and not realizing he's really a pedophile.

Truth time; bottom line: 99.999% of these guys want sex. It's a reality, she is flatted and it feeds her ego that someone his age is interested. The end result can only be disastrous for her.
:mad:

Ummm are you in his mind?
Do you know that he only wants sex?
NO I THINK NOT

And about me being flatter yes I am but my ego has nothing to do with the way I feel about this man

Wow you people are amazing

Ask yourself; why do you think there is this law concerning minors in the first place?

wow you people are amazing

Again I think what you are missing is that all of us responding to you here are older then you, have more life experience then you do and have seen things like this played out before with steady results.

You can believe whatever you would like to believe. No one is saying that are of the things we are saying are directly applicable to this 28 year old man. We are however saying that there is a high chance that if he reciprocates your feelings it will be to take advantage of you in some fashion.

Ultimately you will make up your own mind which is fine no one can force you to do something one way or another (besides your family since you are still a minor). But it would be irresponsible of all of us on here to not provide you with some advice from what WE have seen in our lives.

Maybe you both will have a lovely platonic friendship that will never blossom into romance or maybe it will as you get older. Maybe we are all wrong. But maybe just maybe we all know what we are talking about just a little, itsy bit.

I am free to date him
We just cannot have SEX
And quite frankly i have no intentions to until i'm legal i do not want to get him in trouble
Do you think i am unaware of the lawws?

I AM FREE TO DATE HIM
WE JUST CANNOT HAVE SEX
AND QUITE FRANKLY I HAVE NO INTENTIONS TO UNTIL I'M LEGAL I DO NOT WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE
DO YOU THINK I AM UNAWARE OF THE LAWWS?

Its him that would get in trouble, not you.

What do you think of a 35 yr old woman dating a 17 or 18 yr old? What is your first reaction to this?

Its him that would get in trouble, not you.

What do you think of a 35 yr old woman dating a 17 or 18 yr old? What is your first reaction to this?

Sorry I made a typo I meant him...


It doesn't bother me

I have a question. You said that you were pursuing this older guy. Where did you guys meet? Has he even been responsive to your pursuit?

You know, I wish I could hotly deny that, and believe there are some men left that only want platonic friendship, but i have to agree with you. Every male "friend" I have wants to have sex.

Its very depressing. I mean, there isn't a man out there that doesn't have designs on a woman.. its almost safe to say "all men" because it just seems like all men, we can't meet all the men in the world, but we know for sure they don't want to be our friend to play scrabble or knit sweaters with us. Unless the woman is so unattractive that he just can't go for it, he will go for it, which is no compliment at all. MANY Men will F anything if given half a chance and have no respect for the fact that a female is a minor. Thats tells you their character and what kind of person they are, and is enough to get away from them. Once you are with him, how will you trust him around other underage girls once you are not underage anymore? You will always remember how you met him. Men are entirely too transparent.

Well... that is not quite what I meant Cerulean.

Yes I believe that he told her the "dirty" truth in "When Harry met Sally", but there IS an override. Men are hard wired a bit differently than most women (not all) and yes we do probably consider sex "every 6 seconds or so."

But there are are guys like myself who channel that desire to the woman we love and passionately try to show her in this and many ways that that we love only one. And all of us are not so immature as to chase every nice shaped skirt that may smile and wink at us.

That sex drive, when handled properly and concentrated to only her has given me the love of my life and I waited a long time for her. And she lets me know everyday that she is happy and content.

No offense,
Stringer

Well......that is not quite what I meant Cerulean.

Yes I believe that he told her the "dirty" truth in "When Harry met Sally", but there IS an override. Men are hard wired a bit differently than most women (not all) and yes we do probably consider sex "every 6 seconds or so."

But there are are guys like myself who channel that desire to the woman we love and passionately try to show her in this and many ways that that we love only one. And all of us are not so immature as to chase every nice shaped skirt that may smile and wink at us.

That sex drive, when handled properly and concentrated to only her has given me the love of my life and I waited a long time for her. And she lets me know everyday that she is happy and content.

No offense,
Stringer

*nods*.. every 6 seconds eh? And why do men always say that its us women who are overly hormonal. Lol:rolleyes:

*nods*.. every 6 seconds eh? and why do men always say that its us women who are overly hormonal. lol:rolleyes:

Please read my post again, I was attempting to say that the facts of life are what they are.

Sex dive is there; would you want to be in a serious relationship without it?

One of the many differences between us and the animals is that we have the ability to reason and love. (Please no arguments about animals' ability to love.)

I don't know if you will understand what I mean here but from a mans point of view; it is basic. I have doubts about any man that says when he sees a beautiful woman that he doesn't look. I don't care what his age is (at least over maybe 13/14) he is "hard wired" possibly in his DNA to appreciate the what he sees.

I am not so shallow, and please don't judge me by taking this post out of context. Take the time to review my previous posts.

Thanks,

Stringer

Please read my post again, I was attempting to say that the facts of life are what they are.

Sex dive is there; would you want to be in a serious relationship without it?

One of the many differences between us and the animals is that we have the ability to reason and love. (Please no arguments about animals' ability to love.)

I don't know if you will understand what I mean here but from a mans point of view; it is basic. I have doubts about any man that says when he sees a beautiful woman that he doesn't look. I don't care what his age is (at least over maybe 13/14) he is "hard wired" possibly in his DNA to appreciate the what he sees.

I am not so shallow, and please don't judge me by taking this post out of context. Take the time to review my previous posts.

Thanks,

Stringer

I was JOKING. :rolleyes:

I was JOKING. :rolleyes:


Joking..

Joking............?
Yes, it had nothing to do with you, it had to do with the comment that its been said that men think of sex every 6 seconds.

I have often heard that men think women are hormonal, that perhaps they can't be "president" etc. because of those "crazy hormones". etc. etc. However, if men are thinking of sex every 6 seconds, the cause is a very powerful hormone called testosterone, that apparently has total control of men's minds! Lol

I would hate to feel that way all the time! Ugh!! I would feel as though my body is in an overwhelming way, ruling the way I feel, instead of me controlling my mind and body. I am the soul in charge of this carriage, its not meant to be the other way around.

Anyway.. I've never heard or read anyone talk about men's hormones, because it explains why men feel as they do, all I ever read is men talking about women's hormones.

So I made a joke about that. Not you. Lol

I have a question. You said that you were pursuing this older guy. Where did you guys meet? Has he even been responsive to your pursuit?

We met online.
And yes he has been and he understands that I'm not "easy"
And he respects that

If everything is innocent then I don't understand why you haven't said anything to your parents.

That to me is a red flag. If you don't think it's a big deal then you should be okay with telling people about the guy in your life.

If everything is innocent then I don't understand why you haven't said anything to your parents.

That to me is a red flag. If you don't think its a big deal then you should be okay with telling people about the guy in your life.

Because me and my mom are not close like that
She minds her business and I mind mine

But you said if anything bad was to happen they would come after the guy with a fury. That implies some sort of closeness.

my father is a dead beat and no i am not looking to replace him
and my male friend does not have screws loose thank you very much
I can't help but giggle..

But you said if anything bad was to happen they would come after the guy with a fury. That implies some sort of closeness.

Yes I did say that but it is not the closeness where I tell my mom who I'm dating or talking to

I would tell them eventually when I knew we were steady

we met online.
and yes he has been and he understands that i'm not "easy"
and he respects that
Oh my goodness another red flag.

we met online.
and yes he has been and he understands that i'm not "easy"
and he respects that

Yet another RED flag. Where online? Were you hanging out in a adult area or was he hanging out in a teen area? Was he aware of your age from the beginning?

Yet another RED flag. Where online? Were you hanging out in a adult area or was he hanging out in a teen area? Was he aware of your age from the beginning?

I was playing pool on Yahoo (mixed crowd) no specific age prefrence
And yes he was aware of my age

yes he does and he doesn't care.
AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER!
if your going to keep giving me negative feedback i would love for you to stop
Of course he doesn't care. You meet this 28 year old guy ONLINE, he knows you are a minor and doesn't care. This guy is a creep. I wonder how long he'll hang around when he figures out he's not getting any.
Or maybe he will hang around because he can't deal with women his own age.
I know you're tired of the negative, but you asked the question and this guy is a creep.
I'll bet he won't be taking you home introducing his 17 year old friend to his family. This is wrong on a whole lot of levels.
You won't like this, but I think if you had gotten positive attention from your father, we would not be having this conversation. In fact I bet if your father knew about this guy, he would hit the ceiling. I know if you were my daughter, I and my husband would be paying Mr. Wonderful a visit a long with the police.

New piece to the puzzle scroll to #7

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/possible-129948.html

You guys have never even met?? How do you even know he is who he says he is? He could be a 50 year old pervert trolling for young girls. He could be making it all up. I know you don't want to hear this but you need to tread VERY lightly here.

Of course he doesn't care. You meet this 28 year old guy ONLINE, he knows you are a minor and doesn't care. This guy is a creep. I wonder how long he'll hang around when he figures out he's not getting any.
Or maybe he will hang around because he can't deal with women his own age.
I know you're tired of the negative, but you asked the question and this guy is a creep.
I'll bet he won't be taking you home introducing his 17 year old friend to his family. This is wrong on a whole lot of levels.
You won't like this, but I think if you had gotten positive attention from your father, we would not be having this conversation. In fact I bet if your father knew about this guy, he would hit the ceiling. I know if you were my daughter, I and my husband would be paying Mr. Wonderful a visit a long with the police.

1.He knows he is not getting any and he is still here.
2.I strongly doubt he is only hanging around because he can't get with women his own age.
3.I'm sure if he still lived in New York with his family He would introduce me.
4.ONCE AGAIN MY FATHER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME LIKING A 28yr old. AND NEVER WILL HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY LIFE
5.You could call the cops but what could they do? Nothing unless they had sex. And we didn't

But you guys haven't even met.

Lovely you don't know who this guy is at all. The internet allows people to hide, pretend to be someone other then who they are.

But you guys haven't even met.

Lovely you don't know who this guy is at all. The internet allows people to hide, pretend to be someone other then who they are.

Yes that is true glinda
But what if he is who he says he is?

But you guys haven't even met.

Lovely you don't know who this guy is at all. The internet allows people to hide, pretend to be someone other then who they are.
You are spot on with that one Glinda! Although yes ths is my real picture lol

1.He knows he is not getting any and he is still here.
2.I strongly doubt he is only hanging around because he can't get with women his own age.
3.I'm sure if he still lived in New York with his family He would introduce me.
4.ONCE AGAIN MY FATHER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME LIKING A 28yr old. AND NEVER WILL HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY LIFE
5.You could call the cops but what could they do? nothing unless they had sex. and we didn't

Whens your birthday?

But what if he isn't? Have you really thought about that? How you heard stories about girls who go across the country to meet someone they met online and the person is not at all who they thought they were. Sometimes the person turns out to be a psychopath and kidnaps the girls, kills her or rapes her.

Its easy for him to say that he would never pressure you or that he respects you when he has not been around you. Right now you have no way to see if his words match his actions or if he is who he really says he is.

I would especially be cautious if he is hesitant to come to meet you face to face that is a HUGE flag that he is not who he says he is (under no circumstances should you go out to see him and if he comes to see you do not go alone, please, please listen to that if nothing else).

Oh geeze, this is all about someone she's never actually met? And she believes all the garbage this guy must be feeding her? I'll bet he's really a pimply faced 15 yr old who is laughing at her.

But what if he isn't? Have you really thought about that? How you heard stories about girls who go across the country to meet someone they met online and the person is not at all who they thought they were. Sometimes the person turns out to be a psychopath and kidnaps the girls, kills her or rapes her.

Its easy for him to say that he would never pressure you or that he respects you when he has not been around you. Right now you have no way to see if his words match his actions or if he is who he really says he is.

I would especially be cautious if he is hesitant to come to meet you face to face that is a HUGE flag that he is not who he says he is (under no circumstances should you go out to see him and if he comes to see you do not go alone, please, please listen to that if nothing else).


Oh yes of course I would never go and see him and if he did happen to come her and see me then I would meet him in a busy place with a bunch of "friends"

Oh geeze, this is all about someone she's never actually met? And she beleives all the garbage this guy must be feeding her? I'll bet he's really a pimply faced 15 yr old who is laughing at her.


Yea you wish that's why I have pictures of him

Whens your birthday?


May why?

How long has this online relationship been going on? Has their been talk of meeting?

yea you wish thats why i have pictures of him

They could be pictures of anyone. You have to keep in mind that just because you are being honest does not mean he is. He could have sent pictures of a friend, a cousin, anyone.

yes that is true glinda
But what if he is who he says he is?
And what if he's not. You had better be real careful young lady. You don't know what you're dealing with. For all you know he could be a rapist.

This guy could be anybody. He could be 40 years old for all you know. Don't you read the papers or watch the news? You hear stories almost every day about men picking up young girls via the Internet, pretending to be somebody they are not. Then the next thing you know the girl meets this creep and is raped or worse.
You think you are grown and mature, buy you're not using your head.

I'm done with this topic
I know all the safety precautions and what not
And I am sick of you people not trusting my judgement so I am unsubscribing to my own question

Why? Because we are all telling you all the possibilities in this situation?

You seem to think that there is no way this guy is lying. Honey it is HIGHLY likely.

Did i say that i didn't know the possibility oh him being horrible? NO i didn't
Do you people think that i am not aware of these things
I am just sick of hearing about it over and over again
It is possible to meet a good person online
My moms friend did and she was happy until she met someone else

i'm done with this topic
i know all the safety precautions and what not
and i am sick of you people not trusting my judgement so i am unsubscribing to my own question
You don't trust your own judgment, otherwise you would not have asked how old is too old. You can get angry and leave if you want, but you have read all of these words, so they are in your head. You've heard some good advice. I hope you revisit it before I's too late.
I wish you peace and safety

Well I guess you know everything and we collectively on this forum know nothing.

Good luck.

Well I guess you know everything and we collectively on this forum know nothing.

Good luck.

I didn't say that i appreacate all of the thoughts you all have shared with me i am just sick of people saying he could be this he could be that

And as of tonigth i am done talking to him because "HE'S A BAD BAD MAN"

DID I SAY THAT I DIDN'T KNOW THE POSSIBILITY OH HIM BEING HORRIBLE? NO I DIDN'T
DO YOU PEOPLE THINK THAT I AM NOT AWARE OF THESE THINGS
I AM JUST SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN
IT IS POSSIBLE TO MEET A GOOD PERSON ONLINE
MY MOMS FRIEND DID AND SHE WAS HAPPY UNTIL SHE MET SOMEONE ELSE
It's possible to meet a good person on line, but you must use your head and look for the red flags. You being 17 and he being 28 and not caring that you're a minor is a BIG RED FLAG.
I think you know what is right, you know this guy is bad news, I just hope you do the right thing.

Did you think that maybe there is a problem that you have to keep defending this? Does that not seem weird to you?

The truth of the matter is that you it is not a good idea for you to get attached to this guy until you know who he really is.

You never answered my two questions - how long has this been going on? Has an in person meeting been discussed?

2 weeks and no I wasn't planning on meeting him for at least 6 er 7 months
I just wanted advice on how to fget him here when the time came

Did you think that maybe there is a problem that you have to keep defending this? Does that not seem weird to you?

The truth of the matter is that you it is not a good idea for you to get attached to this guy until you know who he really is.

You never answered my two questions - how long has this been going on? has an in person meeting been discussed?

Glinda, you crack me up!

I sense your earnestness and you are a very good person. You want to get at the heart of the problem. You remind me of myself, so I have to laugh. :)

But I wrote something related to this issue in this thread: Here is the link -

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/possible-129948.html

2 weeks and no i wasn't planning on meeting him for at least 6 er 7 months

I know that seems responsible but do you want to get attached to someone who may not be at all who you think he is? If you continue with this relationship I would recommend meeting within the first month. He if refuses you have your answer that he is not who he says he is.

Glinda, you crack me up!!

I sense your earnestness and you are a very good person. You want to get at the heart of the problem. You remind me of myself, so I have to laugh. :)

But I wrote something related to this issue in the other thread: Here is the link -

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/possible-129948.html

Thank you! What a nice compliment!

2 weeks and no i wasn't planning on meeting him for at least 6 er 7 months
i just wanted advice on how to fget him here when the time came
Advice on how to get him here? He's grown he ought to know that himself. If your looking for advice on how to sneak and meet up with him, forget it. It is my hope, that you have come to the wrong place.

It's either 20/25(your age - 20%=13.6yo/your age + 25%=21.25yo) or half your age + 7(15.5). Haha

i'm done with this topic
i know all the safety precautions and what not
and i am sick of you people not trusting my judgement so i am unsubscribing to my own question

Guess what, I felt that way after a few days of reading your bits and pieces. You didn't even have the courage to come up with the whole story right from the start, so you were not asking for advice, you were looking for an argument, and baby.. you got one.

You probably don't talk to your parents much, beause I think you Always have to be right...

Get real!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gifBetter luck next time.

That's your opinion I don't think that you need to know all my business that's wwhy I didn't tell you

And about me not telling my parents it is not because I have to be right because my mother doesn't need to know everything that is going on in my life
And if if my mother dissaproved I would still do it
It is my life and if I choose to mess it up so be it I have to learn from my mistakes

thats your opinion i don't think that you need to know all my business thats wwhy i didn't tell you
If you want the best advice, then you need to tell us the whole story.
I
t is my life and if i choose to mess it up so be it i have to learn from my mistakes

But isn't that why you asked us? So you could benefit from our knowledge and experience and AVOID making a mistake?

thats your opinion i don't think that you need to know all my business thats wwhy i didn't tell you

and about me not telling my parents it is not because i have to be right because my mother doesn't need to know everything that is going on in my life
and if if my mother dissaproved i would still do it
it is my life and if i choose to mess it up so be it i have to learn from my mistakes
I'm assuming you still live in your mother's house and because you are a minor, if something happened to you your mother is still responsible and liable. So what you do is in fact your mother's business.
But you're sounding like a teenager who is having a tantrum because someone is not agreeing with what she wants to do. Bottom line is, we all know you will eventually do what you want, but you came to us with the question. You have received some good and sound advice and also some pretty understanding ears, I hope you do the mature thing and heed it.

thats your opinion i don't think that you need to know all my business thats wwhy i didn't tell you

and about me not telling my parents it is not because i have to be right because my mother doesn't need to know everything that is going on in my life
and if if my mother dissaproved i would still do it
it is my life and if i choose to mess it up so be it i have to learn from my mistakes

But some mistakes are beyond just "learning."

I would also like to point out that the "mistake" of meeting this guy could kill you or rape you or otherwise harm you.

Not a mistake I'd want to make.

If you want the best advice, then you need to tell us the whole story.
i

But isn't that why you asked us? So you could benefit from our knowledge and experience and AVOID making a mistake?
No not at all I asked for your opinion just to see if you all thought ti was a bad idea
Eaither way I was still going to talk to him and I still am

I'm assuming you still live in your mother's house and because you are a minor, if something happened to you your mother is still responsible and liable. So what you do is in fact your mother's business.
But you're sounding like a teenager who is having a tantrum because someone is not agreeing with what she wants to do. Bottom line is, we all know you will eventually do what you want, but you came to us with the question. You have recieved some good and sound advice and also some pretty understanding ears, I hope you do the mature thing and heed it.
I am doing what I want I am loving every second of it

I would also like to point out that the "mistake" of meeting this guy could kill you or rape you or otherwise harm you.

Not a mistake I'd want to make.

Well I understand my limits and I'm not going to cross them at this moment but a month from now who knowws

no not at all i asked for your opinion just to see if you all thought ti was a bad idea
eaither way i was still going to talk to him and i still am

Yeah right! That is not why people ask questions on places like this. Either they are genuinely looking for advice or they are hoping someone will support what they want to do so they can feel better about doing it.

You obviously fall into the latter group. Since you had already committed yourself in your own mind, you had to deal with the almost universal advice against you.

Yeah I agree, you shuld only date men that are 3 years within your age limit. But once you are 18 u can date whoever you want

i am doing what i want i am loving every second of it
Then I guess you're done here then Huh? I really do hope you're smarter than you are appearing to be. I hope this is just a stubborn streak and that you are the mature teenage girl you want us to think you are.
I sincerely wish you the best.

THANK YOU ALL
I am seriously done with the 28 yr old
I found someone younger much youngsg 20
Is that better

I don't know.. do you think we were all just "played?"

THANK YOU ALL
i am seriously done with the 28 yr old
i found someone younger much youngsg 20
is that better

Why the change of heart?

Did you meet the 20 year old on the same website?

Atcually he is 24 I made a typo and couldn't fix it last night. But I put thought into what you all said he could be a dangerous man and that is not a risk I want to make. And this guy I know it is him I viewed his web cam and he only lives 8 hours away... It is still a seven year difference but not as bad as eleven

yeah i agree, u shuld only date men that are 3 years within ur age limit. But once u are 18 u can date whoever u want

If that is the law in that territory then I would agree. On the grounds that to be morally correct it should be legally correct.

So, for example, for this girl, miss lovely, you are saying that any age gap once she is 18 is acceptable, whereas any man more than the age of 18 while the female is below the age of 18, is too old and unacceptable legally and morally?

This is an interesting area, as in the UK the law is 16 for consent. So a 16 year old is free to date a person of any age.

This can create the different views on the situation, for example, of a 23 year old man being able to sleep with a 16 year old quite legally (and if it is legal we must assume that it is right and justifiable). Whereas for the same age difference in America it would be unjustifiable and wrong BECAUSE the law says so.


Is the UK law more justifiable or is the US law more justifiable?

After all a 16 year old American girl is as mature as a 16 year old girl in the UK but the respective legalities of the situation are totally different.

Discuss..

So, for example, for this girl, miss lovely, you are saying that any age gap once she is 18 is acceptable, whereas any man more than the age of 18 while the female is below the age of 18, is too old and unacceptable legally and morally?


In the US this is pretty standard LAW (not morality LAW) that once a minor reaches the age of consent they may not engage in illicit activities with someone more then 3 to 4 years older (depends upon the state). However once the child reaches 18 they are free to date whomever.

So Miss Lovely this is still dangerous waters.

Why do you want to be with someone so much older? I get that 17 year old boys are immature. I got that. But there are no 19 year old guys or 20 year old guys you could date? I just can't imagine a 24 year old out living his life would want to be with a high school student for anything other then sex. I just can't see it happening.

You are still in the same situation as before since you are dating some one so much older. While to you it doesn't seem that big of a deal it is. The mental and emotional difference between a 24 year old and a 17 year old is immense. Again you don't have the life experience to bring to the table of an adult relationship that is going to be built upon something real other then just sex.

atcually he is 24 i made a typo and couldn't fix it last night. but i put thought into what you all said he could be a dangerous man and that is not a risk i want to make. And this guy i know it is him i viewed his web cam and he only lives 8 hours away... It is still a seven year differance but not as bad as eleven
Doesn't matter. What we many of us have been trying to tell you is as long as you are a minor, you don't need to be dating adults.
If this 24 year old adult male knows you are a teen and doesn't care, he's a creep as well.

atcually he is 24 i made a typo and couldn't fix it last night. but i put thought into what you all said he could be a dangerous man and that is not a risk i want to make. And this guy i know it is him i viewed his web cam and he only lives 8 hours away... It is still a seven year differance but not as bad as eleven

I am 24 and date a 17 year old.

It is not illegal at all here, as it apparently may be in the USA.
The gap has not caused a single problem. I have no problem datign girls my own age, I dated a 22 year old last year for 7 months.
I am not just after sex. I rarely initiate it and I deeply care for my g/f.

So in my view if he is a good guy, as I am, then it is fine. I suspect I am not the run-of-the-mill older guy with a 17 year old g/f though.

That sounds big headed; I realise! ;)

If that is the law in that territory then I would agree. On the grounds that to be morally correct it should be legally correct.

So, for example, for this girl, miss lovely, you are saying that any age gap once she is 18 is acceptable, whereas any man more than the age of 18 while the female is below the age of 18, is too old and unacceptable legally and morally?

This is an interesting area, as in the UK the law is 16 for consent. So a 16 year old is free to date a person of any age.

This can create the different views on the situation, for example, of a 23 year old man being able to sleep with a 16 year old quite legally (and if it is legal we must assume that it is right and justifiable). Whereas for the exact same age difference in America it would be unjustifiable and wrong BECAUSE the law says so.


Is the UK law more justifiable or is the US law more justifiable?

After all a 16 year old American girl is as mature as a 16 year old girl in the UK but the respective legalities of the situation are totally different.

Discuss..
I don't think any adult in his right mind ought to be dating teenagers.
Now before you get your undies in a bunch, I can see an 18/19 year old with a 21/22 year old, but 16 year olds with men over 20 is just wong IMO.

I am 24 and date a 17 year old.

It is not illegal at all here, as it apparently may be in the USA.
The gap has not caused a single problem. I have no problem datign girls my own age, I dated a 22 year old last year for 7 months.
I am not just after sex. I rarely initiate it and I deeply care for my g/f.

So in my view if he is a good guy, as I am, then it is fine. I suspect I am not the run-of-the-mill older guy with a 17 year old g/f though.

That sounds big headed; I realise! ;)

First its not illegal to DATE, its only illegal to have sex if one is under the age of consent or one is still a minor with a large age difference. In your situation, it would be illegal to have sex with her even if she was over the age of consent because of the 5 year age difference, in many areas.

Second, You may be the exception, but frankly I have to wonder what a 24 yr old sees in a 17 yr old. The two ages are very different developmentally, emotionally and interestwise. You should be starting your career, looking at your life and figuring out how its going to play out. A 17 yr old is mostly interested in the moment, not the long term.

And this is why most of us have a problem with an age difference like this. Because an older male and a minor female (or the reverse) are at very different phases, its rare that such a relationship holds any attraction much more than physical. And that makes it exploitation.

Again, you may be the exception and if you are I wish you luck. In 3 or 4 years a 5 year difference won't matter. But at this point it does.

I am 24 and date a 17 year old.

It is not illegal at all here, as it apparently may be in the USA.
The gap has not caused a single problem. I have no problem datign girls my own age, I dated a 22 year old last year for 7 months.
I am not just after sex. I rarely initiate it and I deeply care for my g/f.

So in my view if he is a good guy, as I am, then it is fine. I suspect I am not the run-of-the-mill older guy with a 17 year old g/f though.

That sounds big headed; I realise! ;)

First its not illegal to DATE, its only illegal to have sex if one is under the age of consent or one is still a minor with a large age difference. In your situation, it would be illegal to have sex with her even if she was over the age of consent because of the 5 year age difference, in many areas.

Second, You may be the exception, but frankly I have to wonder what a 24 yr old sees in a 17 yr old. The two ages are very different developmentally, emotionally and interestwise. You should be starting your career, looking at your life and figuring out how its going to play out. A 17 yr old is mostly interested in the moment, not the long term.

And this is why most of us have a problem with an age difference like this. Because an older male and a minor female (or the reverse) are at very different phases, its rare that such a relationship holds any attraction much more than physical. And that makes it exploitation.

Again, you may be the exception and if you are I wish you luck. In 3 or 4 years a 7 year difference won't matter. But at this point it does.

I don't think any adult in his right mind ought to be dating teenagers.
Now before you get your undies in a bunch, I can see an 18/19 year old with a 21/22 year old, but 16 year olds with men over 20 is just wong IMO.

That is your opinion and would most likely be right in 99.99% of cases. However it may also be seen as tarring all men who date 17 year olds with the same brush. It doesn't necessarily suggest any failing in that man's personality or make him a creep.

It can genuinely be a solid, happy and caring, not to mention EQUAL relationship.


Lastly, and this is just to play 'devil's advocate,' the law says 16 here. Therefore it is justifiable, right and fair.

Some people may hold the view that even 18 is too young for a 23 year old. Whatever one's view; treat and judge each relationship on its own merits, not a sweeping generalisation.

Not all 16 year old boy sor girls are immature/too immature for a 23 year old.
Not all 23 year old men who that eyounger women are 'creeps.'

Lastly, it is not automatically wrong. It is a matter of opinion.

Incidentally, I think that the age of consent in South Carolina of 14 is ridiculously young and perhaps that state's laws need evaluating!


Thanks for your opinions.:)

First its not illegal to DATE, its only illegal to have sex if one is under the age of consent or one is still a minor with a large age difference. In your situation, it would be illegal to have sex with her even if she was over the age of consent because of the 5 year age difference, in many areas.

Second, You may be the exception, but frankly I have to wonder what a 24 yr old sees in a 17 yr old. The two ages are very different developmentally, emotionally and interestwise. You should be starting your career, looking at your life and figuring out how its going to play out. A 17 yr old is mostly interested in the moment, not the long term.

And this is why most of us have a problem with an age difference like this. Because an older male and a minor female (or the reverse) are at very different phases, its rare that such a relationship holds any attraction much more than physical. And that makes it exploitation.

Again, you may be the exception and if you are I wish you luck. In 3 or 4 years a 7 year difference won't matter. But at this point it does.


Of course what you say is highly subjective.

Please, bear in mind that the law here is 16 for a female, and there are no qualifications to that law.

It is justifiable. Indeed, the differences in the outlook of life may well be different but it does not always make it prohibitive.

In my view, you do whatever makes you happy provided it is lawful and non exploitative. I personally fit both categories.

I think sometimes people put far too much of an emphasis on women being 'exploited' and 'vulnerable.' This is not always the case.

It would be the case if we were talking about a child, but we are not.

I stand by my thought. I wonder what a 24 year old man has in common with a 17 year old girl and what the atrraction is. There are so many differences in development there. The guy may not be a creep but he's gots some problems. Maybe some self esteem issues, issues with grwoing up, I don't know. But I do know if you were messing with my 17 year old daughter, there would be some problems.

I stand by my thought. I wonder what a 24 year old man has in common with a 17 year old girl and what the atrraction is. There are so many differences in developement there. The guy may not be a creep but he's gots some problems. Maybe some self esteem issues, issues with grwoing up, I don't know. But I do know if you were messing with my 17 year old daughter, there would be some problems.


There would be nothing you could do about it over here in the UK however as much as you disagree with it.

Though I accept that it is a different matter in your country and I have to respect the prevailing current of opinion and the law in America.

I think your attitude is borne out of a sense of protection and I applaud that as it is a noble and respect worthy value.

Doesn't make you right though. Just cautious.

I think sometimes people put far too much of an emphasis on women being 'exploited' and 'vulnerable.' This is not always the case.


You're right its not always the case. The problem is that it is way too often the case to risk it. When it comes to protecting young people, I don't think we can over emphasize safety. Its not just women its all young people. I grant that kids grow up faster then they used to (though that's not necessarily a good thing). But I would still want to err on the side of caution then to let someone get hurt.

I think sometimes people put far too much of an emphasis on women being 'exploited' and 'vulnerable.' This is not always the case.

I don't think you can put too much emphasis on it especially when you are dealing with non adult women. Teenagers are non adult women regardless of the law. Heck that law exploits young women. It does not take an intellectual giant to know that teenagers are not grown women and adult men have no business messing with them. This law just enables men to do it.
It may be legal, but it is morally wrong IMO

You're right its not always the case. The problem is that it is way too often the case to risk it. When it comes to protecting young people, I don't think we can over emphasize safety. Its not just women its all young people. I grant that kids grow up faster then they used to (though that's not necessarily a good thing). But I would still want to err on the side of caution then to let someone get hurt.

Fair enough fella. Do appreciate thought that 17, or indeed 16 is not a minor or a child in the United Kingdom.

It is right to be cautious, even over here, but it is never right to be over-zealous, especially when the conduct is lawful and the relationship is healthy.

A parent will always look out for their daughter; I would be the same. I would not totally judge a man though for seeing my 17 year old daughter if I were satisfied he was respectful.

Regardless the OP is not about the morality its about the legality of the situation and it stands that in the US in most places she is still a minor and has no business messing with someone that much older.

While your experience may be different Snuffy I would imagine that you are intelligent enough to recognize that you are the exception and not the rule. More often then that what we see here in the states IS older men and women exploiting children (which is what this young lady is).

I don't think you can put too much emphasis on it especially when you are dealing with non adult women. Teenagers are non adult women regardless of the law. Heck that law exploits young women. It does not take an intellectual giant to know that teenagers are not grown women and adult men have no business messing with them. This law just enables men to do it.
It may be legal, but it is morally wrong IMO

Thank you for qualifying with 'in my opinion.'

One which you are entitled to.

(An adult is 18 in America, 16 in the UK). 18 is a teen, as is 19, as is 19 and 364 days, to be pedantic.

It is patronising to assume they are not adults yet. Some may be immature, some may be mature too though. And frankly there are people in their 20's who are not very adult in their view on life; and conversely 17 year olds who are very mature.

The law is not necessarily wrong and it is not immoral, in my opinion.

There would be nothing you could do about it over here in the UK however as much as you disagree with it.



Fair enough fella. Do appreciate thought that 17, or indeed 16 is not a minor or a child in the United Kingdom.


Neither is quite true. The age of consent is not the same as the age of majority. While a 16 yr old may be legally able to consent to sex, they cannot sign a contract. While 16 may be the age of consent, such a person is still the responsibility of their parents. While the parents may not be able to have you arrested, they can exercise a degree of control over their child's actions.

Regardless the OP is not about the morality its about the legality of the situation and it stands that in the US in most places she is still a minor and has no business messing with someone that much older.

While your experience may be different Snuffy I would imagine that you are intelligent enough to recognize that you are the exception and not the rule. More often then that what we see here in the states IS older men and women exploiting children (which is what this young lady is).


Being a law student myself I would always abide by the law of whichever territory I was in.

If I was in America I would stay away from under 18's; not because they are 'immature' or 'on a different level' but because it was illegal.

Here in the Uk, and I only brought this in to add perspective to the whole argument, it is legal and acceptable and the general population do not make monsters of me. I have not had one derisory comment about the situation from family of friends, mine or hers. There has been cautious approval; which is entirely right and I would not expect any different.

I would recommend that Miss Lovely stays away from over 18's, for it is illegal in America and it may be exploitative.

If she were in the UK however I would not be as dogmatic and I would not have her rule it out.

Well I accept the fact that some of you think it is wrong and some of you don't but it is not that big of a deal anymore I'm not having sex with him and I do not plan on it we are getting to know each other and what happens from there I donno

I still advise you to tread lightly. You may not want to hear anything but be careful, keep your eyes OPEN WIDE in this. I would be cautious going into a relationship with some one in their mid-20's at your age.

I will thank you glinda