I would be very grateful for any advice anybody may have. After a very short relationship that then ended I found out I was pregnant-I did tell the father and after a while we decided to try and get back together. As time went on I found and that He was a very heavy drinker indeed and it made him both very grateful and abusive-not physically to me but emotionally and verbally. As time went on he said that he did love me,even though I was very unsure that he did , we did not live together, we each have our own homes. After a very stressfully pregnancy I gave birth to a baby boy,I also have a son and daughter from a previous marriage. The baby's father was not prepared to give up or even cut down on his drinking,I had hoped that once our baby was born things would change-I think they got worse. He began to be abusive to my 13 yr old son and very unpleasant to me,he didn't help me in any way,I hated his drinking-4/5 bottles of wine every night! He was not fit to be around any children. I have found out that he has got a past of violence,has been in young offenders and prison and is barred from clubs for fighting. I have given him so many chances but now enough is enough and I have told him its over. I am frightened,he is hounding me for accses of our baby who is 5 months old and I am not prepared to see him and take any more of his abuse. He finishes work and then drinks none stop until paralytic,hardly able to talk-he is not prepared to even admit he has a problem,even though this has obviously been his way of life for 15 years. He is also a heavy gambler and stopped paying maintenance as agreed-i will go to the csa. He is a unfit father,a bad role model and not safe to be alone with a baby or children-I need to prove this for all of our safety. What can I do please?

You might want to get a restraining order from the police department and then contact a lawyer.

You have to go to your court and talk to a lawyer, I agree with you 110%, I once was involved with someone like that, and I have a 7 year old not with him. But it was a very bad situation. You need to get a lawyer ASAP, and explain your situation. Because you do not want him to take the baby alone, due to that fact that you do not know what will happen when he is alone with the child. And if he is not ready to admit that he has a problem then there is no way that he can take care of a baby. Bee good to you, and I hope all gets better. I wish you and your family the best of luck...

If he has keys to your home, how about going to a 'safe house' until you can get the lock changed.

You must stand up to this person and flat out forbid him to return until he has gone into a clinic to dry up.

See a lawyer no matter what. And make sure you and your children are safe at all times. Don't risk worse by letting this go unattended.

Wishing you and your children all the best, and please stay in touch.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gifYou might also ask a good friend to stay with you for a while.