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mortishka
Sep 11, 2007, 07:12 AM
OK here's the deal

My best guy friend and I are always chilling out together, and have been for around three years, and he's always real sweet to me and everything.

And I love him, but if I tell him, I'm afraid our deep friendship will suffer. :( What do I do? Do I tell him?! :confused:

talaniman
Sep 11, 2007, 08:28 AM
I think you must decide how important is this friendship, and how much more you want from this. At 16, its easy to mistake love, for devotion to a friend, so make sure you know exactly what you feel for this friend, before you decide to try for the next level. If you two already talk about others you may care for, then I would say leave it alone, but if he is unattached, maybe an honest conversation can come about.

mortishka
Sep 12, 2007, 06:10 AM
I have actually been talking to him about what makes him special to me... so I don't know... I'm just reeeeally confused.

&& thanks for the advice

talaniman
Sep 12, 2007, 03:15 PM
Sometimes being honest is all you can do.

Skell
Sep 12, 2007, 04:02 PM
Just a little story that isn't meant to sway you either way.

I'm a guy and when I was 16 one of my best friends was a girl. We went to school together and were great mates. And that's exactly how I looked at her. Like a mate. Id talk to her like id talk to one of the boys. Joke, laugh and just have heaps of fun with her. I was there for her during tough times and there with her during great times like any friend would. I never really looked at her romantically. It just didn't enter my mind. To me we were just great friends.

But then one night something changed our relationship forever. We were at a party for one of our friends just doing thing that 16 - 17 year olds do. Then all of a sudden next thing I know my friend just kissed me. It was weird. Right out of nowhere. I didn't know what to think. But I kissed her back. And that began a 7 year relationship that was full of love and wonderful times spent with my best friend in the whole world. And when I look back I think in lots of ways all that time at school when I only looked at her as a mate. I think deep down it was probably the beginning of our romantic relationship. Kind of like the dating period before becoming exclusive. It was when we got to know one another and developed that bond that's needed and it was the basis of a really solid relationship that as I said lasted 7 years.

Now sadly in many ways that relationship has ended. Times changed, she changed and subsequently I have changed. As I said its sad in many ways as I have lost a very dear friend. My best friend. But what I got out of that 7 years is irreplaceable and she will forever be my best friend. Just one that I rarely see and never talk to.

So as I said I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but rather just share a story from someone who has been in your shoes. Or rather been in your friends shoes. As you say it is a risk. You may lose your best friend but you may gain your first love...

That's why being so young is a wonderful time when you look back on it. Its full of firsts!!

So just go slow and take your time. Think about things and as tal said be honest to him and yourself! That's all anyone can ask!

Good luck!

(sorry for rambling - I think sometimes its good for me to still share that story)

nicespringgirl
Sep 12, 2007, 04:02 PM
Maybe he loves you too.;)
Many good relationships are based on solid friendships.

mortishka
Oct 8, 2007, 06:33 AM
Thanks everyone, so much

Sad Soul
Oct 8, 2007, 07:09 AM
Like Skell, I had a similar situation to yours.

We were best friends. I had feelings for him, and I realized that my fear of telling him was not as important as actually being with him. So, I made a bold move one night and kissed him. And it was damn weird, but we kissing and holding each other all night.

That night started the best relationship we had both experienced.

But, we have broken up. We didn't want the same things because we were at different stages in life. We still consider each other best friends, though like Skell, best friends that hardly ever see each other.

I would say that even though him and I have not ended up together, it was still worth it to move from friendship to lovers. Being honest with him was really the best choice I made for us; we became closer than we had been when we were friends.

Mortishka, do you think you can let this pass by? If you feel you can, then don't tell him. But if you feel you can't, then tell him. Whatever you decide, know that there is no rush; you're still young and there's plenty plentyyyy of time left for romance.

mortishka
Oct 8, 2007, 08:09 AM
Sad Soul, you're right, but, it's like, I've never everrr felt like this before.

The Lake House
Oct 8, 2007, 11:26 AM
Isn't that a nice thing? I really think you should give him a try.

mortishka
Oct 9, 2007, 02:25 PM
I did, The Lake House

I went over there yesterday and told him that I liked him. Wait to give your Kudos to me though, he just sat there. Maybe he's shocked?

jbaby85
Jun 22, 2010, 09:45 PM
Here is my story maybe this will make you smile!! I knew my best friend since I was 12 he was in love with me but child love . I never took it seriously but we kissed plenty of times and always remained friends . After high school we lost touch for a decent amount of time I was involved in a 5 year relationship. My best friend came around again for the last 2 years of my relationship and I fell in love with him... I was in the same shoes you are except many years later... it took me months to finally say something... but when I did we kissed right away it was a little weird at first but its been almost a year since that and we haven't went one day without speaking to each other and not more then one day without seeing each other I think it is a lot better then when we were just friends!! Of course things change now that we are in a relationship but definitely for the better he is my best friend , boyfriend... and we talk about marriage . So even if it doesn't work out now for you look at me and him nothing serious came out of it until 13 years later... and I am the happiest I have ever been... so take chances with love it usually works out!!