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View Full Version : I still love my ex boyfriendd


mashima
Sep 5, 2007, 05:12 PM
ughh I really need helpp.. me and my boyfriend broke up like 2months ago and I was fine and like he got a girlfriend and they've been going out since we broke up he treats her really bad I've heard but yeah.. the other I talkedto him for the first time and he told me that he still gets jealous if guys talk to me and and it was a really good conversation but then like he just stopped talking to me and I called him today and he seemed so cold about everythuingg and I don't know I need helpp what do I doo? I can't get overr himm
ANYONEEE PLEASEE =(

mikehst
Sep 5, 2007, 05:37 PM
Let me tell you... when you break a mans heart, sh*t happens. If he's a sucker he'll go back to you. Men can't control their emotions as well as women just know that. When you give him pieces of you, he'll want you all the way back. Realize that if he loves you, you shouldn't toy with his emotions. Do what your heart tells you and don't make him go through anything more than he already has. If you love him,try to make things right and get him back. If you don't want him back then make it official with him now. Don't keep making him wonder if he'll ever have you back. In the long run, you'll damage him for longer than if you end it officially. I know it may be hard for you to come out with it but its really what the man wants. And part of the lesson of breaking up with someone is that you will be in pain for a long time but as they say... "Take time with a wounded hand because it likes to heal". So if you don't want to hurt him or keep yourself in question then make what you want clear. He should respect that.

Homegirl 50
Sep 5, 2007, 05:41 PM
Well you should get over him, he's not yours, he with someone else and he's ignoring you. What needs to happen for you to get a brain?
Why did you two break up? Maybe that will give you a clue.

mashima
Sep 5, 2007, 06:29 PM
yah but the thing is we broke up because I didn't really show him how I felt and was constantly being mean it was basically my fault and I regreett itt alottt =/

Homegirl 50
Sep 5, 2007, 07:57 PM
Well you just have to deal with it. He has someone else and does not want to come back. You can either stay in the dumps and moan and groan, or you can move on and take this as a lesson learned. When you care about someone, act like you care.

mikehst
Sep 6, 2007, 05:50 PM
Well. If he still wants you and then you break up with him... He will literally sit at his phone waiting for you to call. And if you do he will answer like he just won a million dollars. He's going to automatically hope that you're calling to say you want him back. And that's all he wants no matter what it takes. If you make an exclusive call to him, it is not like seeing him in public just by coincidence. You're reaching out to him by calling if you understand what I'm saying. It seems to me like you made him happy and now he can't stand to not have you. So him finally getting in contact with you will just hurt more when he realizes that you weren't calling to ask for him back. And he'll even more want to know why you broke up with him and he wants to end his confusion but you can never give him the right answer.See he thinks that maybe if he asks a question about why you broke up with him that didn't make sense to him, he'll think you "realized" and you will be like "oh I didn't realize that that made you unhappy" and he'll think that you're going to take him back just for that. He'll always want you back. Listen, if you are to talk to him anymore, it should b after he gets over you. Once he can work things out for himself and realize that he can move on without you, maybe some contact with him won't be so harsh. This depends on whether you want just a friendship with him. If he is ready to just have a friendship then talking to him wouldn't be such a problem and he will in fact be happy to hear from you. But getting the right timing is hard. See I'm just speaking from my experience. After I got over her to some extent and realized I wasn't going to get her back, it felt good to be able to at least speak to her. Ex-communicating and basically making it seem like you can't talk to the person at all makes an awkward and painful impression. Because you are not required to never speak to the person again after you break up. I don't know if this has anything to do with your situation. But I'm not trying to model your's step by step. As far as you calling him... Maybe you don't call him but my point all is that contact will give him false hope and if you do this, you'll just hurt him more than you already have. You obviously do not intend to hurt him but it will. And just getting rid of him will be the best thing in your case if he just adds more weight to your shoulders. It all depends on what kind of guy he is. After all this he might hate you. But if he does get past the relationship, and he will talk to you as a friend, then you need to realize that in his head, he still cares about you and will do things in your favor but not necessarily to get you back, but to show how much he values having even just your friendship. It is better in instances where there wasn't a horrible break up but rather one or both of you just felt you had to go your separate ways. In this case it is you who wanted to move on without him and there's nothing wrong with that. You need to make your choices and ALSO see that he TRULY respects the choices you make before you can feel comfortable trying to have a friendship with him again. If he still cares for you at this point, then it would make things easier for him to know that you do not want to make him feel completely rejected. Think of breaking up and then resorting to friendship with your ex as though you have never met him before and restart like you just met each other. But this time show him that you are not interested in a relationship and you just want to be friends. All this can work if he previously learned to respect your choices like I mentioned earlier. As long as you don't forget to keep a guideline between friendship and relationship, he will not cross the line. But if you guys got to a bad start and had problems all through your relationship, you can take the chance/risk at restarting with him and maybe he'll then see how you want to be treated. I'm not saying you have to do any of this. But if he isn't an emotional loose cannon, maybe friendship can go along. But pretend like when you "meet him again" that its your first date or something and if he gets into your past with him, that is a sign to immediately call it off. It's basically like telling a guy that you don't want to go on another date with him after the first. He just wasn't your type lol.this is me finishing my message to you>>> I am working some humor into this in a way but I am serious at the same time. And maybe after awhile he'll realize that he doesn't want to go through anymore with you and just leave you alone. He'll possibly get past the fact that he can't have you and will move on looking for another fish in the great blue sea to love. That's one thing. After this you can't expect him to stick with you all through time. Eventually he'll want to move onward and get into another relationship and then you don't need to feel bad about anything. There will be no burden on you. I know this advice will be of help to you for this specific relationship and others to come if applicable and you can use this advice with all your girlfriends =D I'm not a professional but I should be. I just speak from my bad experiences and what I think would make me happy after a break up with a girl who I once loved. Truth is I'm only 15 yrs old!! Don't tell anybody though =D

Homegirl 50
Sep 6, 2007, 07:21 PM
If he wanted you back, he would not be acting cold towards you. You need to just face the fact that he is with someone else and you get on with your life.
The next time you're in a relationship with someone, treat them better. Or maybe the next person you're with you'll really care for them and you'll treat them better anyway. Maybe this guy was just not THE ONE.