I have older kids from a previous bad marriage and while there older and hurtful I just ignore them. I have a 10 year old from a 10 year relationship with a pot smoking laid back father who lets my son roam the streets while he is busy chasing his girlfriend around. Something happened and now my son won't leave my side or stay in a room by himself and so I am getting him treatment. He is also starting the new patch draytana for ADHD because he was tested and its previlant in our family. The school stated he needed to be on it or it was impossible to teach him. His father and I don't speak, he is angry because he pay 75.00 a week child's support and that just got raised from 50.00. He insults me and tells Cody all kinds of horrible things about me. A few months ago after I lost my house to foreclosure, I had episode and suicide played a big issue, I am now getting help and doing much better. My youngest son never knew, I felt I would tell him when he got older. My ex told him I was crazy and tried to kill myself and that I was a b**** and was just inventing things to keep my son crazy too. Every thing I have done for my son was ordered by a psychatrist, a family doctor and the schools. He refuses to give him his medicine and told my son that hopefully one day I will try again to kill myself and it will work. I cried for days, I know I should not let him hurt me with his words, as he blames everyone else for all his problems, but to tell my son that kind of stuff. And he continues to bad mouth me with foul words and I just tell my son to ignore it, and I never say anything bad about his dad. This cannot be good for my son, to be torn by a monster who is always screaming about me, yet he loves his dad. I cannot control what goes on at his house, but I pray my son never treats woman that way. While do I feel so weak, like I am a loser who lost her house and cannot listen to those cruel things against me.
Thanks for listening.

T

I'm really sorry for your problems! I really wish I could help. The most I can do is give you my advice though. First of all, I would contact the court and take him back to court. Why? Because the things he says to your son. That is considered mental abuse! And he could get in A LOT of trouble for that! Also, hold your head up high! You know your better than him! The more you ignore him (which I'm sure it's hard!), the more he'll back down! Trust me! Kill him w/kindness! As bad as you probably would hate to, do it!! Because obviously he knows he can get to you! Get out in the world, get your life back in order, and start taking charge! I don't know about physical, but mentally he is abusing you and your children BADLY! Show him who's boss girl! I know I don't know you, but I do know you got it in you! Good Luck!

I agree with Christy9800. A judge can stop him, for the most part, treating your son that way. I would take him back every time he is like that. Once you show him that you can't be pushed around he will most likely back off and that will be better for you and your son.

As for you... Do more stuff, even if its just a walk around the block or going to the park with a good book. Being outside always helps me when I feel down. Include your children too, but do some things yourself. Once you improve your outlook and your way of thinking your household will fall into place. Once you can see clearly the problems will all have solutions and you'll know what to do to get your family back on track. Its important that once you make the stand you follow through no matter how hard it becomes or how hopeless it seems. Its like making a new house rule or breaking a bad habit-- the first 30 days are the hardest once you get past that its pretty easy sailing from there.

Good luck.