My name is Adam I'm 23 my girlfriend is 22.

She came over to see me tonight and said she wanted to have a break from our 3 year relationship. Our anniversary was last week and I bought hera beautiful present and everything was fine the relationship has ben great. Al week she's beenover an happy. Anyway she said I need to find myself and be happy on my own. She said she hasn't always been happy lately.

I need some advice and want to know if I reacted in the correct way to get her back. Its amazing we were meant to go to her mims birthday tomorrow in a few days and she was talking about us going last night.

I may have reesponded badly, this is what I said was I right or wrong, by the way I want her back, I still love her lots,

Well she said I think we should have a break and I said " What yourve gotta be kidding, what are you talking about , Ie been nothing but great to you for 3 years and i let you see me whenever you want and im always there for you and you want a break from me! Your the one who always calls every night saying you want o talk before you go to bed!!! There is no break i not a second rate person who you think you can just take a break from if you want to break up then tell me and imm out of your life!! If you think you can dobetter or deserve someone else well get the hell out dont come around my place saying you need a break if you want a break then ypui can have a life long break!!! Ive been great for you and i like you heaps and we could have a great life together but if your unsure and wanna play these stupid games and think about things then thats it!!! I know what i want and im not unsure i dont just treat youlike this i think about your feelings and if i didnt want to be with you i would think about it and then i would completely break it off... If you think you want a break that will only be stringing me along and I dont deserve that and if thats how you wantto treat me youdont deserve a guy like me so get out of my life... You need to think while your with me we are meant to be going to your mums bday and ill tellyou nw if you doint wanna take me there then we are definately over, you obviously dont think enough of me if after three years you can just come her and say break Im better thab that and i can get somone who deserves me and treats me with more respect causze your treating me like a bloody dog!!! And i always look after you..

She then said " I just need to work out what I want:" Isaid well fine you should have worked that out by now if you need a coupkle of days apart to evaluate things then fine but its either on o off not sitting on the fence on a break, cause you either want to try and see how we go or you don't and you lose me from your life cause there's plaenty of single girls who would love a boyfriend like me and want to be in yopur position so if you want to be single and in there position you give me up and that's all...

She said I just need some time ti think about things and work on myself...

Sge then left and we wentdown to he car and before she left I said I l like you a lot but you can't treat me like an idiot I'm not going to chase you but I do want to try with ou and she zaid I still love you but not sure if that's enough...

How did I go my mate said I shouldn't have said anything and just said fine bye!?

My friend,

I can understand your reaction. I wouldn't say your reaction was wrong but, you were both very young when you started and may not really know what you want. What I always say is: Let him/her go and if he/she comes back it was meant to be if, he/she doesn't, then it was never to be. I would suggest you both give yourself this time to see how things go and who knows, maybe she is doing you a favor.

I think is a pretty normal desire of most early 20's girls. At that age they want to know who they are away from all the other people in their life. Women cannot figure themselves out while with someone they need to take a few steps back to figure out what they want and what they need.

The break is not about you its about her. It may seem as if she is saying I need a break from YOU but what she needs is a break from herself. She needs permission from everyone in her life to be able to back away and retreat into herself.

The only thing you can do right now is give her space and she will come to you. She does not want you to chase her she wants you to give her space. When she is done thinking she will come back to you.

Your reaction was normal given the shock and the news from nowhere but that's the way it is. Most break ups are a shock to one partner. Give her what she wants, and leave her alone, and drop out of her life.

Drop out of her life but she said to me I still want tohear what going on in your life and I still want to talk to you and we might see each other atparties and stuff.

I'll go along with your mate on that one. A better response would have been to say something like "Alright. If you feel you need a break, then I'll respect that. Goodnight." Then simply let her leave (don't walk her to her car) and be done with it. Then go on and live your life and start dating "plenty of single girls who would love a boyfriend like you." I know that you'd naturally think to yourself a lot of the things you said and there's actually a lot of truth in it, but verbalizing it does your case no good. I think that maybe you let your ego get the best of you here. The idea is to let her experience life without you and do without all of the things that, up until now, she took for granted. Let her go to her mim's birthday by herself and have to spend the night explaining to everyone why you're not there with her. Meanwhile you just get out and enjoy yourself and forget about her. Let her realize that you can enjoy life just as much without her as with her. That'll make you much more attractive in her eyes than having a fit because she said she "wants a break."

Drop out of her life but she said to me i still want tohear what going on in your life and i still want to talk to you and we might see each other atparties and stuff.
Well, to that you say "sorry, but nope!" You don't want to let her have her cake and eat it too, which it what it sounds like she wants. She wants a break, so she gets it ; the whole nine yards. You don't necessarily have to go out of your way to avoid her, but if you do run into her "at parties and stuff", don't pay her too much attention and treat her as if she's almost a stranger. Be sure to have a good time with the other guests, especially the eligible ladies. And absolutely no contact initiated by you yourself. No calls, no texts, no IMs , nothing. It's not her business what's going on in your life and it stopped being her business the minute she said she wanted a break.

Drop out of her life but she said to me i still want tohear what going on in your life and i still want to talk to you and we might see each other atparties and stuff.
She dumped you dude, she can't have it both ways. What makes you think she calls all the shots, and why are you so eager to settle for crumbs she throws at you?? Forget her and her party.:(

See if this is of any help... Sorry you got it a little late, but who can anticipate a break-up. They suck and they hurt and make us wonder about everything. Anyway, hope this might help: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-break-up-survive-101-use-you-wish-114179.html