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View Full Version : A friend in need.


XenoSapien
Aug 7, 2007, 08:17 PM
I am asking this for a lady friend of mine because she is skeptical in asking.
She works in a place that is all men except she and one other girl. The other girl is 'loose' (your imagination is probably correct), and my friend is the 'good girl' of the operation.

Just recently, she was sent an email that was of pornographic nature; a video of a sexual innuendo. She says that the guys in the office were watching it when she went into the room where they were watching it. She left abruptly, and did not like to see it (will watch it with a boyfriend, but not in the workplace; she does not mix business with pleasure). Then later, the video was sent to her via email.

She talked with the upper management about it and was firm that she did not approve. He told her that he needed time to think about it.

Now, I told her to be 'business as usual', and let him think about it. Make him come to you about a resolution, and maintain consistentency with your work habits, and place the pressure squarely on his shoulders for a decision.

Is there something else she should do?

Dennis777
Aug 7, 2007, 10:01 PM
Hello.

Your right, they sent it to her to shock her and if she shows it worked they will send more. She might want to loosen up a little and play along with the sexual jokes as long as they are not directed at her. Working around Men has its problems and if she wants to get along she needs to fit in. BUT fitting in doesn't mean letting them talk to her sexually.

Dennis777

rkim291968
Aug 7, 2007, 11:32 PM
In California, when an employee reports sexual harassment and management doesn't do anything about it, the company/manager can be sued and lose $$$$. Your friend can hire a lawyer (would need solid proofs). If this is a low paying job, your friend may end up with enough money for years.

I am amazed this type of thing is still happening.

nicespringgirl
Aug 8, 2007, 05:47 AM
May I ask where she works at?

SOunds like the people there are not educated or mature at all.

NeedKarma
Aug 8, 2007, 05:58 AM
It all depends on how "shocking" or "sexual in nature" this video was. People's perception of that can differ widely. We send links to YouTube around here for a good laugh now and then and sometimes they are 'racy' but they obviously do not include nudity. We are educated and mature, we just enjoy laughing during the workday.

mr.yet
Aug 8, 2007, 05:59 AM
She needs to save the email and print it out as proof, than forward it to upper management stating this is unacceptable and request they do something about it.

She should contact and hire one a attorney, forward the email to the attorney this way she will have proof.

talaniman
Aug 8, 2007, 06:06 AM
Be a lot more selective of the Emails she opens at work.

nicespringgirl
Aug 8, 2007, 06:20 AM
Well, when I was at school, I spent lots of time in the engineering lab studying, I did hear some of those jokes but not often. Usually those guys became very quiet when I walked in.
At work, they are pretty much all adults, married, and it's a global 500 company and most of them have master degrees, I don't know if it makes a difference.Everyone( most are men) I work with are really busy and speak professionally.
So far, the men I have worked or studied with, have strong self control, so I guess depends on where u work, who u work with.

nicespringgirl
Aug 8, 2007, 06:32 AM
Mr. Yet gave a good advice that she couls def. try.
She needs to protect her rights for sure.

Eventually, moving to another working place.

XenoSapien
Aug 9, 2007, 05:11 PM
She needs to save the email and print it out as proof, than foward it to upper management stating this is unacceptable and request they do something about it.

She should contact and hire one a attorney, ,forward the email to the attorney this way she will have proof.

I'm the girl and I'm moving forward...
I tried to print the email and eventually sent it to upper management.
The email was hard core porn and most definatelly... I'll be speaking to my good friend.
I went to dinner last night to talk about the discepany... and I know I've done nothing wrong... this harassment isn't the 1ST time and it needs to end. I sent the email to some guy friends and they were also offended. What should I do next. Please help out an Indy girl...

GlindaofOz
Aug 9, 2007, 05:16 PM
It all depends on how "shocking" or "sexual in nature" this video was. People's perception of that can differ widely. We send links to youtube around here for a good laugh now and then and sometimes they are 'racy' but they obviously do not include nudity. We are educated and mature, we just enjoy laughing during the workday.

It actually does not matter how shocking it is. If she was offended by it and management does nothing they are avoiding a sexual harassment situation where she could sue.

She should stay on top of management. If she does not see anything happen then I would go to the EEOC and file a complaint.

GlindaofOz
Aug 9, 2007, 05:19 PM
I'm the girl and I'm moving forward......
I tried to print the email and eventually sent it to upper management.
The email was hard core porn and most definatelly....I'll be speaking to my good friend.
I went to dinner last night to talk about the discepany....and I know I've done nothing wrong...this harassment isn't the 1ST time and it needs to end. I sent the email to some guy friends and they were also offended. What should I do next. Please help out an Indy girl....

I would file a complaint. I would then tell management that this is not the first time you've had to deal with this and you've had enough they are creating a hostile work environment. I would then contact an attorney and see what you can do. They should not be getting away with this. Sexual harassment in the workplace is never okay. It is my number one pet peeve. Too many people think the girl needs to loosen up or be one of the guys, the truth is no one should be submitted to that there are laws for a reason.

XenoSapien
Aug 9, 2007, 05:24 PM
This matter is under investigation and this guy is hopefully done!
Now, I'm at the point of feeling sorry for him and just feeling a little uncomfortable at the work place. I did request and signed a confidentiality agreement for all parties involved but it is still stessfull. I appreciate all your adice, thank you.

XenoSapien
Aug 9, 2007, 05:35 PM
Hey all, it's your 'love him, or hate him' bud Xeno. I want to let you all know that she is very thankful for all your advice. She seems to be on the right track with all of this; thanks for helping me help my friend. :)

XenoSapien