I have been with my husband for 16 years. We have 3 children together 14,10 & 7. I don't believe my husband and I have ever seen eye to eye on anything. He strongly believes that our problems within our relationship is because of me. However, he now not only thinks that I am the problem but our 14 year son is a huge problem as well. He has resently told our son "If yours and your brother and sisters world is torn appart....you have only yourself to thank" meaning if he leaves again... it will be our sons fault.
What do you do when your child and your husband do not like each other? When is it OK to say enough is enough and protect your child?

It sounds like some serious counseling is in order for all of you. You don't elaborate too much on the nature of your marital problems or your son's problems but obviously there are a lot of issues going on here that need to be addressed.

I agree with s_cianci. Instead of worrying at what point the problem becomes out of hand that you have to choose between your husband and son, why not try to solve the problem now and see if the relationships can be mended?

What happened?

I would definitely seek counseling. It will not get better if you do not seek help. Good luck.

You all need counseling as it seems the relationship between you and your husband has spilled over to your son. Get some help ASAP.

It's already been time to say enough is enough ever since your husband said to your son that it would be HIS fault if your husband took off. First off, it's not your sons fault if your husband (who sounds like a HUGE dirtbag) leaves. Second, why are you putting up with him? Third, take him to family/couples therapy. Fourth, if all fails and nothing gets better, then you should know as a mother, as a woman, and as a human being, that you need to take better action.

Just wanted to thank all of you for your advise. I have offered counseling for all of us and my husband has declined. I think my husband is moving back home with his mom and dad. And I kind of think I am OK with that. Again thank you very much and good luck to all of you!

Hopefully this time apart will clear up a few issues with you, and give you a direction to go in. The counseling would do you good, even if he refuses, so I hope you choose that as a course of action. Good Luck.

Glad things are starting to look up (if you see it that way):)