I have worked in a dentist office for 5 years. I have grown attached to my patients and most of the people I work with. It isa small practice, about 12 employees. There is a male that I work with who is a bully, lazy, and degrading to women. I have documented incidents with him getting in my face about things (how to sterilize instruments, to where things go in the office) he feels that women are inferior due to his heritage, and used to say things about it a lot, but not so much anymore because he knows he can get in trouble. I do all the work, and he sits around.

The office management agreed with me, tried to get him to listen, and he did not change. The last time I brought up his intolerable behavior, they said that I was the one to blame. I've gone to school for this job, and he has not. I mentioned that upon one of our discussions of how to sterilize instruments properly, and management said that I was stating it to tell him I'm smarter than he is, and that I was picking on him. I am just trying to maintain a healthy environment for our workers and patients. I cannot leave. I have done my time there and have a good paycheck and benefits. I want him fired. I want the bullying to stop. :confused:

Do your job, and do it well as you have been. Help him with something if you have to, but don't go excessively out of your way to help him.

You've got a great heart with your respect for who you care for. You are the kind of person I would want to care for me. Can you really not find another place to work with the same or better benefits?

XenoSapien

Thank you. I have looked around, but I really care about my patients and would miss them a lot. I feel that I should not have to run away from my workplace because of him. It should be him that has to look for another job.

If I were to start at another office, I would lose my 2 weeks vacation, my health insurance (for about 3 months, which I can't really afford) and all those friendships with the patients I work with. I have put my heart and soul into making the practice more organized and up-to-date. It would just be nice if they could provide me with a healthy environment to work in, as well as the other workers and the patients.

You're right. You shouldn't have to go, he should, and you shouldn't have to leave--he should.

It may be dangerous to suggest, but can you go to your superiors' superior about this?

XenoSapien

If he is harassing you, and will not stop, and the management will not correct the situation, contact your state EEOC and file a complaint, they will assign an investigator, who will look into it, and try and work out a compromise with the management.

** of course companies often don't like being reported and in the future "find" things to file the person who complained.

Most companies just don't want to hear about problem.

They'll fire her before she gets much through that approach, Fr. She needs to stay "under the radar" about this.

XenoSapien

I have worked in a dentist office for 5 years. I have grown attached to my patients and most of the people I work with. It isa small practice, about 12 employees. There is a male that I work with who is a bully, lazy, and degrading to women. I have documented incidents with him getting in my face about things (how to sterilize instruments, to where things go in the office) he feels that women are inferior due to his heritage, and used to say things about it a lot, but not so much anymore because he knows he can get in trouble. I do all the work, and he sits around.

The office management agreed with me, tried to get him to listen, and he did not change. The last time I brought up his intolerable behavior, they said that I was the one to blame. I've gone to school for this job, and he has not. I mentioned that upon one of our discussions of how to sterilize instruments properly, and management said that I was stating it to tell him I'm smarter than he is, and that I was picking on him. I am just trying to maintain a healthy environment for our workers and patients. I cannot leave. I have done my time there and have a good paycheck and benefits. I want him fired. I want the bullying to stop. :confused:
This is harassment. If they do not get rid or severely discipline this employee you have a probably lawsuit.

I disagree with XenoSapien about this, as a HR professional I do not believe anyone should suffer even a minute of harassment without the company interveneing.

SunniBunni you are very smart to document all the times he has been harassing. I would also document what was said in the conversation with management. I would continue to bring it up and if nothing is done after the second time I say go to your local labor board/EEOC office and file a complaint. From there I would take steps towards a suit regarding a hostile work environment.

No one deserves to be harassed at the office no matter how small the office. You're company is breaking the law there are laws against harassment sexual and otherwise. Please do not let this slip. IF necessary get others to document as well. Your employer is in the wrong for not handling this right away.

This is harassment. If they do not get rid or severely discipline this employee you have a probably lawsuit.

I disagree with XenoSapien about this, as a HR professional I do not believe anyone should suffer even a minute of harassment without the company interveneing.

SunniBunni you are very smart to document all the times he has been harassing. I would also document what was said in the conversation with management. I would continue to bring it up and if nothing is done after the second time I say go to your local labor board/EEOC office and file a complaint. From there I would take steps towards a suit regarding a hostile work environment.

No one deserves to be harassed at the office no matter how small the office. You're company is breaking the law there are laws against harassment sexual and otherwise. Please do not let this slip. IF necessary get others to document as well. Your employer is in the wrong for not handling this right away.
It sounds like she works for a bunch of sexist men, Glinda. Remember, she doesn't want to leave; just make things right.

You are right--nobody deserves to be harassed, but "calling all cars" will make things worse.

XenoSapien

It still doesn't make it okay. I worked HR for Hedge Funds probably some of the most sexist men on the planet - if you don't take them to task for what they are doing it escalates to the point where people just quit.

If she doesn't want o get all "power to the people" I understand that - I'm a pretty tough cookie and I never have a problem calling a sexist pig out on the carpet.

But I do see where you are coming from XenoSapien

You're right again! It doesn't make it okay, and it really is a horrible reality, Glinda. I guess I'm looking to protect her interests, and eliminate the guilty party. I see where you are coming from as well, GlindaofOz. :)

XenoSapien

Actually, the only men are the dentist, and the jerk causing the problems. I am not sure why they have not fired this guy yet, it is obvious that they need to. They know that they are paying him to do nothing. I think they might feel that it is more convenient to keep him and not have to train someone else, but they also know how bad it would be if I left. But that brings me back to not wanting to be the one who leaves. I just want them not to be able to deny it any longer. It's almost as if the dentist feels that he would be turning his back on him or something... it's really weird.

Ok, this is a PROFOUND revelation. I have to retract most of what I have told you, and say that you need to find somewhere else for employment. He didn't go to school for this? My dear, you've got me suspicious of not just him but you too, now.

XenoSapien

No, he did not. He is a trained OTJ dental assistant, and that is perfectly legal. I am a registered dental assistant and have a licence in the state, I have expanded duties that he does not have.

Well then shoot, sunny, maybe you could take his job. Boy, you really do have a tough situation.

XenoSapien

I am asking if there is a way to get management to rid the office of the problematic employee and allow me to stay and make the needed improvements.

It may then take going to his superiors.

XenoSapien

His superiors as in the dentist? The dentist is the highest authority in the office and he doesn't want to be bothered with it. I know the easiest thing would be to just leave, but it's wrong and I want them to do the right thing.

Who cares if he doesn't want to be bothered by it? Bring it to his attention, and if he says that you should leave him alone, tell him you'll go to the authorities and say you're being belittled in the work place and that your boss does nothing about it. Trust me, any person who is high on the totem pole does NOT want their edifice having a bad reputation.:)

Ok, so this is a private dentist. But dearest sunny, men have a p****, and most of them love to use it; physically or psychologically. Find a new job that is good with their offer, then call proper authorities on your now current place of employment with all the data as GlindaofOz has suggested. In this position, you will be safe, employed and can throw bombs from a safe distance. I know this is easier said than done, but the alternative is only to bite your tongue and tolerate it some more. You don't want that, do ya'?


XenoSapien

XenoSapien has a point - either you take it to the dentist - which in all honesty it IS HIS PROBLEM because YOU can file a hostile work environment lawsuit and a sexual harassment lawsuit (since your harasser is a men it could be done) and he will lose his practice.

So you have two choices grin and bear it since you do not want to leave OR go to the dentist and tell him that this employee is abusive and that you feel that he is making it a hostile work environment.

If after going to the dentist nothing is done then its on you to go through the steps I mentioned before. The fact remains that he isn't going to magically get fired unless someone brings his behavior to the attention of the highest authority in the business.
OR If you do not want to raise hell about it then you have to decide do you want to work for someone who would knowingly continue to employ someone who is a harasser? If nothing is done I would do as XenoSapien recommended - leave and throw bombs from a safe distance.

Thanks, ladies. I really appriciate the information and advice.

I've read this thread and am very curious to know what the "harassing" male has going with the dentist, that the dentist doesn't want to be bothered with this situation. Is the ethnicity a concern, that the dentist would feel racist if he took charge and disciplined the man, even verbally? Is the dentist really just unconcerned about how his staff gets along? Also, of the rest of the staff, how many would line up on the male's side and how many on sunnibunni's? Of those on the male's side, do they say/think there's no problem, or that sunnibunni is overreacting? Or am I arriving too late for the party?

To explain further for Wondergirl:

The dentist has been working on another business venture for several years that has to do with self defense and the brain. It's absurd, because he will change the "program" to sell it to any organization he can think of, but no one wants to sponsor him or give him money to market it. The harassing male has worked with the dentist on and off with this other venture over the years.

The other venture also explains the preoccupation and little attention he's been giving to the workplace environment.

The other employees know what is going on. It is no secret that he is lazy and a huge jerk. I once was told that I should just learn to live with it, and that he can't work as efficiently as I because he is a man and they can't multi-task (I know, since when does being a guy get you out of doing your job?) They are concerned about how the staff gets along in terms of not having to deal with any problems. It seems that they don't even want to know about it.

There are 2 office managers, both female. They once were on my side, but would tell me that they can't fire him because they don't want him to sit at home collecting unemployment, and they were waiting for him to quit. I didn't believe them, though, it just sounded weird to me.

My closest coworker is the hygienist, and she can't stand him either. But she doesn't want to make any waves with documentation or complaints because the job market for her profession is really bad right now and she is afraid that either she could lose her job, or that the higher ups would make things hard on her.

I really did like Xeno's suggestions, of documenting everything and finding a better place to work. I will miss my patients, but I've been thinking about this a lot and it is making me miserable, I'm going to have to sacrifice that. That way I can report him and the office. I just wish I didn't have to take it that far. I wish they knew that this could happen to them, and take care of the problem so we can all have a healthy, friendly work environment.

You're doing the right thing. You do not deserve to be treated so horribly and frankly, they do deserve to be reported. Best Wishes and let us know if anything new happens.:)

I really appriciate all the advice and reassurance. Sometimes in situations like this you start to feel as if it's you who is wrong/has the problem.

I've got an update since I posted about this problem at my place of employment, and I wanted to let everyone know and thank you for all your motivating words!

Xenosapien, GlindaofOz, CanadaSweety, and Wondergirl:

I have found a new job and it is at my ideal office that I had dreamed about for a long time. I put in my notice on Monday! I am so excited. The situation was getting worse and worse, this happened right in the nick of time.

AWESOME! I'm so glad to hear that. I hope this new job is everything you want. Good luck!

Thank you!

Yay, sunnybunni!!