I've been with my boy friend for 9 months and he like to withhold sex from me. He would tell me that he wants to have a real relationship, and not based on sex. I get angry at him and say mean things to get him to give it up. I am a attractive girl.. What's his deal??

I've been with my boy friend for 9 months and he like to withhold sex from me. He would tell me that he wants to have a real relationship, and not based on sex. I get angry at him and say mean things to get him to give it up. I am a attractive girl..What's his deal???
May be wants to take things slow, get to know you, fall in love with you, then make love to you. Has he had sex before? Maybe he thinks you're the one and he wants things to go perfectly in his eyes. It is a nice change seeing how most men just want in your pants and then want to leave you laying their with your cloths still off. Do you think you're looking into this a little too much? Sit back, relax, and go with the flow!

How do you feel about your boyfriend. Do you love him? If you do then just keep your pants on and build a relationship.

If all you want is sex and if this is seriously a question based on that, just break up with him. This would be the best. Even if you hurt him, he'll find what's better for himself in the future when he moves on.
You're telling him to give up and just have sex when he wants a stronger relationship... wow

Is he a virgin? Did you ask him that before?

Maybe there is reason why he doesn't want you guys to have sex. You should sit him down and talk to him and not yell at him because you might be putting him in a tight corner and he might do something you will regret!

I f your good looking then, yourve probl found yourself a nice bloke. If you do hang aroun once he knows you're the one I'm sure you will get allthe sex you canhandle from him... Think of it that way do you want him to give you some now or plenty later... Or else scare him away and he will end up giving plenty to another later who was woiling top wait.

Most women would take a real relationship over one totally based on sex. I think you need to change your focus with this guy or if you cannot do that, go and find someone who just wants sex. There are more than a 100 guys out there that would gladly have just sex with you and nothing more. He is willing to wait, wanting to develop the relationship and getting to know you without the sex component. You have the rest of your life with this guy, if it works out. Plnety of time to discover the physical side of the relationship.

Take it easy with him. Let the relationship develop naturally and don't keep after him about sex. If you continue to get angry with him and say mean things to him, then you will lose him. You may be a very special girl to him, but sooner or later he is going to decide you are not that special. A guy does not have to put up with that. Neither does a girl either for that matter.

I am a attractive girl.. What's his deal??
What's your deal. Without more info, I can't tell if you're a nympho, or he is a control freak. Obviously you two don't talk, listen, or compromise. Sounds like a competition, not a relationship.

He would tell me that he wants to have a real relationship, and not based on sex. I

What exactly does he mean by this? I would think that 9 months would be long enough for him to know what he wants and to know whether his current relationship with you is providing that. What about you? What do you want out of a relationship? Are you getting everything you want out of your relationship with this guy? I don't just mean sexually, but in other aspects as well. Your post makes it kind of hard to tell just what's going on here but it sounds like some honest and open communication is needed.

When you first started dating did you jump into a physical relationship kind of quick? If so, I think that he is just craving getting to know you. I know for me I realized it was a mistake to move too fast into a physical relationship because you create false intimacy with someone and all of a sudden it feels weird to ask "get to know you" questions. Maybe he just wants to take the relationship back a step.

I don't think you should be berating him for that. Clearly the two of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart about this because there seems to be 2 different expectations of the relationship.