I have been seeing this man for almost one year. He lived in TX and I am in MI he came and visted me in November stayed one month we had sex twice. Then he was back in Jan and we had sex twice. He then moved to WA in Feb he came to see me in May and is still her it is now July. We have hasd sex three times. He will be leaving the first week of Aug to go back to WA for 3 weeks then coming back here. He will be moving in with me. No he is not married nor does he have another girlfriend. We have talked a little about this problem and he said sex is over rated. Usually it is the girl who says no hardly ever the man. I have a very high sex drive and this is killing me. I have told him this and he don't seem to care but he keeps telling me he loves me... and I tell him I am not sure if we don't have sex how can you love someone. Help me!

My first reaction from reading this is to let you know that there can be love outside/absence of sex. Heart first, genitals second. :)

Secondly, he may be stressed out for some reason. When you two got together, was the sex all the time? Is he an older man & are you both under 30?

It sounds like sex is not something he wants to do all the time. Does he have a promiscuous past? I can give you more clarity if you can answer some of these questions.

XenoSapien

My first reaction from reading this is to let you know that there can be love outside/absence of sex. Heart first, genitals second. :)

Secondly, he may be stressed out for some reason. When you two got together, was the sex all the time? Is he an older man & are you both under 30?

It sounds like sex is not something he wants to do all the time. Does he have a promiscuous past? I can give you more clarity if you can answer some of these questions.

XenoSapien
No when we were together the sex was the same maybe twice a month. He is younger than me he is 39 I am 52. Yes, he was very promiscuous in the past. Some have told me he may be gay but that I don't believe. He had a hard life his first marriage ended when he went to Iraq she left him then he has been single ever since if you know what I mean until now. Am I reading too much into this?

I wouldn't say you're reading into this excessively, but perhaps just a little too much. He's a vet. I'm believing he's seen a sizeable 'heap' of ugliness. That, along with his already exploration of sex in the past and a hard first marriage, he may just be jaded. Sex may be a very small exciting event to him anymore.

But your needs are important, and as a partner, you should be taken care of. Unless you're not into it, can you encourage him to do oral on you? Is there any 'spicing up' the activities, or doing things you know he likes to possibly inspire him?

XenoSapien

Maybe it would help to accept he is not a sex machine, or a young stud and adjust your expectations, through talking and listening, and compromise where you both can benefit.

We talked about oral he is not into it.. I am... well I have 2 bad knees can not kneel or get on top so there is a limit to what we can do... I guess I will just live it with it... thank you.

hotdamgirl (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/hotdamgirl.html) disagrees: because most men are sex machines
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/hotdamgirl.html)
I hope your kidding, that's like saying most women are sluts.



I have a very high sex drive and this is killing me.

We talked about oral he is not into it.. I am... well I have 2 bad knees can not kneel or get on top so there is a limit to what we can do... I guess I will just live it with it... thank you.

Your limits don't help your high sex drive at all.

I wouldn't say you're reading into this excessively, but perhaps just a little too much. He's a vet. I'm believing he's seen a sizeable 'heap' of ugliness. That, along with his already exploration of sex in the past and a hard first marriage, he may just be jaded. Sex may be a very small exciting event to him anymore.

But your needs are important, and as a partner, you should be taken care of. Unless you're not into it, can you encourage him to do oral on you? Is there any 'spicing up' the activities, or doing things you know he likes to possibly inspire him?

XenoSapien
I guess I will have to live with it.. I have 2 bad knees and can not kneel so there are some positions we can't do.. I even said lets take a shower together he said OK but I never presured it...

I hope your kidding, thats like saying most women are sluts.


Your limits don't help your high sex drive at all.
No I am not kidding... oh well just will have to live with it

Hang in there, hotdamgirl...

XenoSapien