Log in

View Full Version : A mess of guilt, paranoia, and confusion


radio_rebecca
Jul 18, 2007, 03:38 PM
[F]My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over 8 months now. Before we met I had a trip to Europe planned and at one point, I invited him to go with me. I knew we'd never stay together if he didn't come and I wanted to be with him. He agreed and we made a huge commitment together. About a week into the trip after quite a few fights he told me that he didn't actually want to be here. That he only came to be with me and that he thought it was a mistake. I flipped, I love him so much and we'd committed to it. We fought about it for a few days. I gave in but only after some begging. He staid only because he felt guilty though. Which really hurts now. The whole 2 month trip was riddled with fights which he'd end it with saying he needed someone stronger, or that he thought of me as a sister or maybe I loved him more than he loves me. These things hurt a lot, but he always ended up staying. I always go out of my way to show him how much I care, prove my love. He never does any of those things. And on top of that, all the things he said to me we've never addressed and I'm too afraid to talk to him about them.
We've been home for a week and live in different states, so it's long distance. We were planning to have me move closer to him but the subject has been ignored for a month now. I asked him about it and he told me he didn't want to worry about anything for awhile. I get that but I need to talk! I also feel guilty for him coming because he didn't want to even though he tells me he's glad he came. We stopped saying I love you and I'm worried I'm driving him away. I've just been sad thinking about what he's said. Not to mention his going behind my back occasionally planning to go out and party with his friends. That shouldn't be an issue right? Well, he cheated on his last girlfriend and never told her. I'm a paranoid stress in love. I need to relax I know but I don't know how to communicate how I feel anymore.I don't feel he wants to listen to me, or be there for me :confused:
I know there's a lot here, but I need help! I want him to know I need to talk to him about stuff without being a nag and stop being so paranoid that he doesn't love me anymore. Anyone get through this and have a suggestion?:(

Inspired
Jul 18, 2007, 04:33 PM
I hate to break it to you but he's not really into you.

CallaLilly
Jul 18, 2007, 04:37 PM
Well, I had a friend who dated this guy for 2 years, they lived in different states and they had lots of trusing issues and whatnot. Your boyfriend really does sound like my girlfriends boyfriend... avoiding topics, putting things off etc. sweetie I know it is tough but I think you need to ask him if this relationship is worth it or not. And if he doesn't talk to you about it and says you are nagging you should end the relationship and move on. You can do so much better, you never know what might be swimming by next!